Are most men here looking for short term relationships?

wtknight · 2023-04-16T13:37:13+00:00

Flaired Question for Men to avoid circlejerking. Previous replies from women will be removed and need to be reposted under the AutoModerator.

Lift_and_Lurk · 2023-04-16T13:39:46+00:00

Most the dudes here on PPD want to be able to pull on Tinder like it was Amazon Prime for pussy.

But since that’s not the way it works for 99 percent of men they are confused.

Safinated · 2023-04-16T03:57:37+00:00

Most guys here purport to be starved of options and thus accepting of anything. Which is exactly why we don’t initiate or approach. You’ll only feed the freebie opportunists, likely as not.

InjectAdrenochrome · 2023-04-16T02:41:33+00:00

Seems like it. Though many have said the men on here are craving romantic intimacy, I see more men saying they want to "hump and dump", to use the parlance of our times.

MistyMaisel · 2023-04-16T03:03:30+00:00

Most of the men here want whatever the opposite of the argument happening at the moment is.

If the topic is men using women for sex, they just want a girlfriend that they'll love forever.

If the topic is how to get a girlfriend you'll love forever, they just want sex and why are the requirements so high.

This way, no matter what, you are wrong.

AstronautLoveShack · 2023-04-16T02:48:57+00:00

Most men here are looking for sex.

IceC19 · 2023-04-16T04:47:09+00:00

How come guys here usually say they want women to approach, but men I know would never like a woman to approach because it'd downgrade her from "possible girlfriend" to "desperate-ish? How come you don't wanna wow the woman you see as your long-term girlfriend/wife and prefer quick gratification over any uncomfortable feelings from your side?

Seems like guys here are different than the men you know (and definitely less judgemental of women who take action). I like when a girl is attracted enough to take action, it shows she's actually interested.

I'm not exactly expecting the woman to approach, but I expect the girl to show some interest from the start. The woman I see as my long term girlfriend/wife is one who's very attracted to me and not someone I need to break myself in order to try to get her attention.

themostgianthorse · 2023-04-16T03:43:38+00:00

They want options.

WowYouMustBeJoking · 2023-04-16T08:38:47+00:00

That's a survivorship bias. Most men do find long-term relationships, so you don't see them here looking for anything. LTR is how most men get sex. What you see in this part of the internet are men who want to have control of their sex life and who don't want to rely on LTR to get sex. Especially since there are other men who don't have to. And there are women who not only can but do have sex without commitment, and most likely you're expected to commit to one of those later.

MalandiBastos · 2023-04-16T08:51:07+00:00

I ideally would want long term but I dont trust women so short term only it is.

odd_cloud · 2023-04-16T03:05:24+00:00

I haven’t been single for several years, but when I dated I would look for some interest from women. Long-term, short-term, no-term, whatever.

Probably, men who have lots of choice, downgrade and upgrade someone, but I’m just glad someone likes me. Approaching and wow-ing are not connected imo.

Changing your approach matters if you have lots of choice. If you meet a person who likes you once every couple of years, whatever your approach is.

Illustrious_Wish_383 · 2023-04-16T12:15:10+00:00

Men want the passion and intensity of a STR and despise the utilitarianism of an LTR. The goal is to have the qualities of the former with the longevity of the latter.

Dertotenkraut · 2023-04-17T01:07:11+00:00

Depends on the day, breh.

Some days Im flying high and want to just share that with a friend who is dtf or someone neat. We enjoy the shit out of a rendezvous then head our seperate ways for the time being.

Other days I contemplate the idea of finding someone who jives with my crazy and we can add some spawn tickets to the conquest meter of humanity vs the universe.

Some days I dont want to see another human being, let alone myself.

Just gotta roll with it and see what wins out in the end.

Ive lived enough to not give much of a fuck about the virgin/low n count thing. Ive slept around enough in my manwhore days to know not to cast stones in a glass house.

bootyhunter69420 · 2023-04-16T14:05:25+00:00

If I find the right woman, I'll try to lock her down ASAP

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_Ad_Astra_Abyssosque · 2023-04-16T03:32:46+00:00

Yes.

Crushed_95 · 2023-04-16T08:39:03+00:00

I'm not looking for LTR. I just got out of a 20+ year marriage and I'm just loving life right now.

bryansodred · 2023-04-16T09:37:38+00:00

Long term > short term

Da_Famous_Anus · 2023-04-16T09:53:28+00:00

Nope

RadicalAzrael · 2023-04-16T11:01:37+00:00

I’m in a long term committed relationship as a guy that’s voluntarily celibate. I don’t want to hook up with the women who came crawling back after they’d never give me the time of day in the past I guess lol.

But in all honesty— I don’t place my worth in. “How many women I can get”.

Found someone who’s like me and that’s that. I don’t want short term. I want long term.

Oh and short term ends up being some kind of sunken cost thing which I don’t want to put my efforts into. No return of investment.

But of the many many men who are deprived I don’t doubt many being here for sex

bottleblank · 2023-04-16T13:47:58+00:00

I'm looking for long-term. I don't expect to find that from the jump, so that may require short-term things with various women, by which I don't mean "I'll fuck them and see if I like it", I mean "we'll go on a few dates, see if we match and have good times together, and if it works we'll just keep doing it".

I don't intend to ask about partner history, but I would prefer a woman who is loyal and responsible.

I wouldn't find it "desperate-ish" for a woman to approach me. I may initially be thrown by it, because that's not something that happens to me, and the only times in my life where it has have been women trying to mess with me. But I'm an adult now and I'm less likely to believe that someone my age is trying some stupid schoolgirl prank. As long as she's not trying to drag me to some seedy underground drinking pit to be mugged or scammed, we're cool.

We'll swap numbers and we'll meet again, because chances are you're not going to bother playing the long game if your objective is a one and done criminal act. If you're desperate to go right now, then either you're trying something, or you're someone who's too sexually forward for my level of experience. But an invitation for a date some other night? I'm down with that.

donalddafuq3301 · 2023-04-16T15:06:07+00:00

I’m genuinely just interested in cuddles at the moment.

yvaN_ehT_nioJ · 2023-04-16T23:10:39+00:00

I'd say it's probably a 65/35 split leaning to men just looking to get their rocks off.

I'm looking for an ltr but I'm aware I'm in the minority of men

cast-away-ramadi06 · 2023-04-17T00:57:56+00:00

I actually am only interested in long-term at this point. Bouncing bn short term relationships is exhausting. Everyone tells me that my standards are too high though. Maybe I'll get go back to considering short-term at some point.

grown_folks_talkin · 2023-04-17T01:46:14+00:00

A lot of guys don’t go planning on falling in love / looking for an LTR. They meet somebody who makes them want an LTR then they want an LTR.

This might be half the male population before age 32

crow_in_your_garden · 2023-04-17T13:08:04+00:00

Most single men are indeed looking for shirt term relationships.

But that doesn't mean they are not looking for a long term relationship too.

On my part, I am looking for short term but I am not really interested in hook-ups. But seeing someone regularly during 1-2 months, developing an intimacy and having good time beside sex is something I could like, even if there is no future.

About n count. It is important for me, but I don't mind if someone has a body count of 20. 50-100 would annoy me more.

About being approached. I like the idea but it never happened to me that a woman approached me. Honestly I even had sympathy for the drunk gay guy who approached me once, so I guess I would enjoy if woman were approaching me.

Gtedx · 2023-04-17T15:39:16+00:00

Not me. I just hookup every once in a while to scratch the itch.

Happy being single, focusing on career and my investments.

I see most women as someone I would have to buy gifts, take on vacations, and handle emotionally. Most of my friends in relationships are living paycheck to paycheck because of this and have 0 savings/investments.

That doesn’t really seem all that interesting to me.

I can wash my own clothes, clean my own apartment, and cook by myself. I think 95% of women today would be a net negative to my life, and I can’t be arsed looking for the rare woman who would contribute.

TheS3KT · 2023-04-17T19:02:19+00:00

I've always looked for marriage material and my loose female friend made fun of me for it and for remaining chaste. I got married to the right girl and I'm glad I waited.

gymbronyc718 · 2023-04-16T02:47:25+00:00

Most men have no idea what they want and even if they did, they lack the focus and drive to go get what they want. They all say they want a steady, forever GF, yet none of them do the things that are required to get them a girlfriend. They complain they can't get casual sex, yet instead of finding them in a bar Im or a club on Saturday night, they are at home playing video games and jerking off hentai.

NockerJoe · 2023-04-16T02:26:59+00:00

You can't have long term wihout short term. I wouldn't date somebody who didn't have short term passion and excitement at all even if I planned a relationship to last a long amount of time. A virgin with 0 interest in sex still means a sexless or near sexless marriage for the whole rest of my life.

just_a_place · 2023-04-16T06:39:00+00:00

I lost interest in long term relationships a long time ago. Women change over time, and so do we. This is the appeal of the Blue Pilled notion of Conservatism, the idea is to conserve the sweet girl - as she is - forever. This is not realistic. Women do not stay the same, they ambition, they change, they grow, they decline, and we drift apart because of these changes. This is the real goal of conservatism - as it applies to women. They literally want to conserve women.

Think of Mr. Freeze preserving Nora.

The people we are right now will not be the same people that we will be a few years from now; and the most horrible shit in the world is waking up to a stranger next to you whom you do not even know anymore and who is wearing the skin of someone you loved.

So short term relationships are the way to go. This way we can peacefully drift apart when the time comes - without conflict - and find new women to love and have relationships with.

Relationships are cyclical, not just transactional - it is insane to believe that they should be permanent. The only thing in life that is permanent is death.

Substantial_Video560 · 2023-04-16T09:09:05+00:00

I'm just looking for hookups. Not ashamed to admit it.

I got over the whole romance thing many years ago.

Khabeni412 · 2023-04-16T12:22:11+00:00

Most men are actually looking for dating and long-term relationship potential. It's just assumed that all they are looking for is sex. Not all men are out just to get laid. I would love to find a respectful, loyal, and independent woman for a relationship, but that is rare if not impossible. I would love women to approach, and from my experience, they do. I have been approached several times.

PMmeareasontolive · 2023-04-16T15:38:18+00:00

Why are all the top replies from women?

I'm guessing as I scroll down I'll see any deviation from normative expectations by men downvoted.

I want it to last as long as it lasts. Not looking for forever, not looking for a ONS.

Friends I would like to have forever, and I think a good romantic relationship naturally evolves into a friendship. But for romance to last forever I think would be exceedingly rare because people who are that compatible naturally rarely meet one another (tho it happens occasionally, often under special circumstances).

My guess is the life span of a good relationship for someone like me would be about 2 - 3 years give or take. And I consider that fantastic. It's one thing I'm nostalgic about that may never have happened except in movies; the way people valued the possibilities of a great love affair in the past.

VehementlyDrawn · 2023-04-16T03:52:23+00:00

Men who care about body n-count aren't supposed to be looking for long term?

Huh?

Or you guys are dead seriously looking for a virgin/2 partners girl to fuck up for a couple months?

If/when I find her and she meets all my other criteria, I'm going to be ok with being her boyfriend. But I will absolutely fuck around until then.

Outrageous-Stay6075 · 2023-04-16T02:27:26+00:00

I just want to be able to fully explore myself sexually, and I feel it's unrealistic that I'll be able to try everything I'm curious about with just one person.

CLyD3_H3ffalump · 2023-04-16T05:08:56+00:00

I've wowed all girls I had a LTR with as well as had LTR's where the women initiated the conversation, still ended the same way - doesn't matter how it started. Your male friends labeling a girl as desperate for approaching...- sorry not sorry you're hanging out with trash friends. Essentially I'm at the point to where I got all the common issues I had early dating under control (physique, finances, hobbies, free time available) but as such; women can more likely see me as passable hookup material so I ain't mad at what I can get now that I couldn't before. If a man CAN get the STR, case by case obvi but imo he will.

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Stunning_Thing4208 · 2023-04-16T07:21:10+00:00

We just don't plan a priori to meet women to marry them. That is too much of a risk.

We meet, we date, we enter in a relationship for months or even years, THEN, we MAY start thinking about marriage.

qunamax · 2023-04-17T13:54:49+00:00

We are looking for valuable women, anything else comes naturally. .

None0fYour8usiness · 2023-04-18T13:35:17+00:00

I'm looking for long term only. Hookups are a waste of time.

Workaholiconew · 2023-04-18T22:16:31+00:00

Are most men here looking for short term relationships?

Consider our side. From our standpoint...

You have to work very hard, in your career, looks, work, social skills, friends groups, etc... in order to get a woman... who is something between neutral and a negative to be with outside of sex...

You should be asking why we would bother having a long term relationship at all that isnt almost exclusively sexual... and the reason is, we need sex, and many men don't believe they can get mostly the good part of a relationship. SO they tolerate the bad and boring... dating and marrying those they would rather not deal with.

Men who care about body n-count aren't supposed to be looking for long term?

That's just a biological drive, we are attracted to younger and less experienced women the same way we are attracted towards women with bigger breasts or ass... Unfortunately we cannot just go for sex workers again and again to satisfy ourselves.

Or you guys are dead seriously looking for a virgin/2 partners girl to fuck up for a couple months?

I mean... one can dream... cant they? We also looking for a woman with J cups... I see no women saying its absurd, when we dont even have breasts....

How come guys here usually say they want women to approach, but men I know would never like a woman to approach because it'd downgrade her from "possible girlfriend" to "desperate-ish?

Most guys don't think women who approach are desperate. That's crazy talk, men's interest grow with womens interest. Women who work on the opposite.

However the few women we experience when approaching are either extremely low value compared to the guy (I was approached once by a woman 100kg heavier than I am), are sex workers/gold diggers or are not women at all. Thus we are not used to being approached and may react with suspicion.

But we would love to have more women hitting on us a bit, cause hitting on women left and right get old real easy and thus we rather not deal with it.

How come you don't wanna wow the woman you see as your long-term girlfriend/wife and prefer quick gratification over any uncomfortable feelings from your side?

Again. thats assuming we find any joy in relationships... most guys dont.... Most young women are just a burden for us to carry when in a relationship... and most of the time we cant even say thats so... thats why we avoid doing so, if we can.

Comfortable-Dare-307 · 2023-04-23T14:57:09+00:00

I am not currently looking for any relationship. But if I were, it would be long-term. I don't do hook-ups. I don't know about how most men feel, but I think it's not fair to assume all men just want short-term sex. I used to hook up in college, but I'm too old for that nonsense anymore. I'd rather just not have sex. I would love women to approach and wouldn't think she was desperate, only confident. I have actually been approached by women many times. It's a good thing women are taking the initiative. Again, I don't think I speak for most guys, but I think you're making too much of a biased judgment.

Title	Are most men here looking for short term relationships?
Author	gat15
Upvotes	20
Comments	128
Date	April 16, 2023 2:23 AM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/12nrn9s/are_most_men_here_looking_for_short_term/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/are-most-men-here-looking-for-short-term.1214842 https://theredarchive.com/post/1214842

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