CMV: you don’t have to take a girl on a fancy date or spend money on her if she’s into you

gopher_glitz · 2023-10-01T19:11:12+00:00

I also find this to be true, BUT plenty of woman are okay with being wined and dined by a guy they aren't very into.

kevie_in_houston · 2023-10-01T18:13:49+00:00

This is true. When I started dating my wife, we went on cheap dates, such as walking through farmer's markets and fairs/carnivals. We never went to a "fancy" restaurant when we were dating.

96tillinfinity_ · 2023-10-01T21:53:56+00:00

Some girls will come straight to your house and fuck you first night if they are attracted enough toy you

Green-Quantity1032 · 2023-10-01T19:42:21+00:00

35M here, always just go to some bar...

Nothing too fancy, just a regular dating bar.

Seems fine.

It would also be fine if we'd just walked around and I'd bring wine I guess.

I think going to a fancy restaurant 1st date is just idiotic.

I try to keep it very casual, at least until we have sex.

MarBitt · 2023-10-01T18:53:39+00:00

What if those dates in expensive restaurants were just boring? It doesn't have to be about money at all, but simply about what is the better experience for getting to know each other and creating a spark.

And also whether you can be as interesting a companion in an expensive restaurant as you are during a walk in the park. Maybe a walk or just doing something together suits you or your favorite type of women better than sitting and eating and debating in a fancy setting.

Legitimate-Ad4538 · 2023-10-01T22:32:11+00:00

Remember guys, “women are the prize” LOL! Unfortunately many of them do seem to think this way. And who do I blame for this? Men! It’s desperate men who constantly put women on a pedestal and then wonder why so many young women are shallow.

JNRoberts42 · 2023-10-01T18:59:51+00:00

There are people here from several different lifestyles and we can't all agree on this one.

Most men and some women here are conservative and prefer traditional roles. The women do not ask men out, and the men do not trust women who ask them out. Those people expect the man to ask, the man to pay, and his date to be attractive and fawn over him.

Some women will not allow a man to pay for their food because those women either feel that equal effort is important or those women choose not to deal with the obligation a fancy meal implies.

Some people are active and prefer adventure dates.

Some are quiet and reflective and prefer coffee shops.

Instead of arguing over fairness (which is futile, btw, nothing is ever fair), maybe people should post their ideal first dates in their profile or use it as a conversation starter so strangers can at least take a stab at finding like-minded people.

Friedrich_Friedson · 2023-10-01T18:24:59+00:00

You guys wouldn't have been so freaked out about date prices if everyone just paid for his/her stuff,just saying 🤷.

Wide-Illustrator2906 · 2023-10-02T04:51:51+00:00

If a woman really likes you, she'll meet you anywhere because she just wants to spend time with you

Veloci-Tractor · 2023-10-01T18:15:39+00:00

this is simply absolutely true

park hangs is the ultimate date almost nothing beats it.

Barneysparky · 2023-10-01T18:52:33+00:00

If you are meeting a stranger it's a a meet and greet not a date. Coffee, the public park, and ice cream, you are there to see if you would like to date each other.

Best first dates (after the meet and greet) are an activity that you both expressed an interest in on your meet and greet. This allows you to see how well you play together, be it rock climbing or board games.

The third meeting, (second date) is the close the deal romantically date. I'm going to assume you've done some awesome kissing/making out at the end of your activity date. This is the romantic date, if you've meet a gal and hit it off this is when you decide to start dating. This is the date when a relationship minded guy makes his intentions clear.

Cethlinnstooth · 2023-10-01T19:27:36+00:00

Yes.

I think a lot of the stress we see in men about the cost of dates isn't about the cost itself. Cheap dates can and do work fairly well. It is about having to make the decision about how much to spend and where to go...and anxiety about screwing it up.

They feel pressure to spend.

It all tracks back to how few opportunities they feel they have...and that all tracks back to how little time they spend in social contact and building their mixed gender social circles.

wheartv · 2023-10-01T21:23:09+00:00

Some sort of activity is best where you have a mix of talking and also doing stuff

Movies are bad because you just sit next to each other in silence

Dinner is bad unless you both are conversationalists….otherwise any awkward silence will make one or both people feel like the other person isn’t into them

Last_Rule_2536 · 2023-10-01T22:43:01+00:00

For the very first date, especially with online dating there’s nothing wrong with something cheap and simple. A first date is just to establish that you’re attracted to one another, that you vibe well, etc.

I think I would have higher expectations for a date if someone that I’ve already met in person asked me out. For example if I met a friend of a friend at a house party and he said “let me take you out” in that case I think it would be nice to do something nicer like a dinner, or drinks somewhere that isn’t a dive bar.

It also really depends on the type of person you’re dating. Some people are just more bougie than other. I have friends that REALLY love fine dining and lavish things, while others are more simple and couldn’t care less about fancy stuff.

There are too many variables to this to make blanket statements imo. Age, location, financial position all matter.

Waratah888 · 2023-10-01T22:54:05+00:00

Wisdom.

I wish this resource had been around when I was in 20's

Flightlessbirbz · 2023-10-01T23:28:31+00:00

This is true, it does not have to be fancy, and if that bothers her maybe you’re not a match. That being said, I find a date that doesn’t cost anything (like a walk date) a little bit of a red flag. Not because “he isn’t spending a bunch of money on me he must not be into me,” but more “he’s so cheap he’s not willing to spend a dime for us to have a pleasant date, this guy is going to be tedious and never want to do anything.” I’m more than happy to go on coffee/ice cream dates and split costs, it’s just the refusal to spend anything at all I find red flagy.

Lonely-Illustrator64 · 2023-10-01T23:37:45+00:00

Most Redditors do NOT believe you should take a girl on a fancy first date lol. I’m in all the dating subs and people always say the exact opposite- first date should be drinks or coffee- something easy so if you’re not feeling it you can leave within the first hour and you don’t waste your money.

External_Pomelo939 · 2023-10-02T02:18:00+00:00

This has quite literally been my experience. Men should honestly just tell women off rip they want FWB or want to sleep with them before taking them on a date. The ones that are truly into you will be down and will even go against their own supposed standards. Most of them women I’ve slept with, gotten head from, fingered, etc. have been women who I did not take on a date.

AI_CODE_MONKEY · 2023-10-02T03:43:25+00:00

alpha fucks beta bucks

women will pay for broke chad tee hee

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Icy_Ordinary2025 · 2023-10-01T18:16:55+00:00

At my age, I'm not into free dates or very cheap.

It doesn't need to be a Michelin star restaurant.

Diamond-Breath · 2023-10-01T23:45:43+00:00

50-70+ first dates isn't the flex you think it is. Why are you jumping around all over the place? Why has no woman decided to stay with you? I wouldn't call that successful.

Having said that, my boyfriend always puts effort into our dates. Restaurants, hotels, you name it. He was literally my first and only date off Tinder and I had to keep him, he's a whole gentleman. So no, I don't think that lack of effort will attract women and your advice won't help men honestly. If you don't provide, another man will.

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Different-Virus-7474 · 2023-10-01T21:58:25+00:00

The movies is underrated now.im going to start taking girls to the movies again.

AdjectiveMcNoun · 2023-10-01T23:35:30+00:00

The first date with my husband was at a very casual little wine bar/coffee shop. No food. We just each bought our own drink. Then we went for a walk to another place we knew had live music because mutual friends were playing there. We each had a coffee there. That was it. We didn't go on a really expensive date until our first anniversary.

Spyro7x3 · 2023-10-02T01:31:56+00:00

Best first date I've been on was the Asian super market.

MistyMaisel · 2023-10-02T02:32:36+00:00

I've always liked cheap dates just as a rule. They're less pressure and just feel more personal. Plus, they tend to go for longer by their nature and it's easier to chain spending the day together if you're having fun.

Like meeting for a coffee can easily become a walk in the park or hike which can easily become super cheap fast food for lunch several hours later which can then easily become say just Sunday driving (before gas got expensive at least) which can become say ice cream or cheap dinner again. By the time that's over it tends to cost the same as say an expensive dinner with drinks, but you've spent an entire day enjoying each other's company and it's pretty easy to spot each other back and forth as you go in terms of money.

Ok-Grand-1882 · 2023-10-02T03:27:19+00:00

This 100% true for men or women. If someone wants to spend time with you, they don't care where you take them. They just want to be with you.

truth-informant · 2023-10-02T05:33:40+00:00

What I learned long ago is that some of the most attractive people are often the most boring. Because they never had to be. When I was young and stupid I thought it was me, and then I learned it wasn't. I was just chasing boring people.

LaTableEstBasse · 2023-10-02T06:43:19+00:00

Restaurant dates are boring af. First dates should be fun activities only. Not only is it cheaper, it's also way more entertaining than starring at each other across a table.

Key-Faithlessness-29 · 2023-10-02T07:48:07+00:00

If a girl says stuff like "you are too broke" or "a man should pay and give me princess treatment" then she is an immediate red flag no matter how beautiful she is. If a girl is really into you she wouldn't mind the occasional coffee date or splitting the bill albeit you get your entitlement down and be open to a genuine connection.

2023-10-02T09:14:41+00:00

it's true/

ZenityDzn · 2023-10-02T21:50:08+00:00

You don’t say, problem tho, hwk u get them into u in first place

Title	CMV: you don’t have to take a girl on a fancy date or spend money on her if she’s into you
Author	Fun_Resource7033
Upvotes	128
Comments	195
Date	October 1, 2023 6:07 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/16x85xz/cmv_you_dont_have_to_take_a_girl_on_a_fancy_date/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/cmv-you-dont-have-to-take-a-girl-on-a-fancy-date.1233659 https://theredarchive.com/post/1233659

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