Do You Think Being Platonic Friends With Women Is Worth It?

Acaciduh · 2023-12-09T18:41:08+00:00

You’re not required to have friends of any gender that doesn’t add something to your life. If you’ve never had women friends that you vibe with then don’t be friends with them? My closest guy friend I’ve had since middle school. We always pay our own way on outings, unless social occasions like a birthday. I’ve literally threw him a surprise birthday party. And he’s helped me plenty of times, hell he’s even helped my husband on occasion. I’ve babysat my guy friends kids, picked them up from the airport, helped them move, etc. If friendships are not reciprocal cut them off, but I don’t think this is gendered.

Steakman1 · 2023-12-09T18:51:36+00:00

Having some platonic friendships with women is not a bad idea if you are someone that gets nervous when talking to women you find attractive. If you were to completely isolate yourself from women, it would only make it harder to talk to women you find attractive.

our lives seem too different

What about being in a relationship with a woman magically makes your lives so alike?

I also think we show our emotions better around other men.

A common reason men seek relationships with women is so they can have someone to be more emotionally vulnerable with unlike in their male friendships. Inb4 someone tries to start an argument about women not liking emotionally vulnerable men, I’m not here to argue that. I’m just stating a common reason men seek relationships. Also, with the male suicide issue and men not talking about their emotions, it is often a woman in their life they open up about these issues with if they choose to do so whether that be their mother, partner, female friend, or whatever.

I always find myself stuck with the bill.

Then you must be frequently offering to pay the bill. Which that is on you. There’s guys who are friends with women in the hopes she’ll one day want them romantically. And as a result they will do things like paying for them all the time. Maybe that’s your issue. If any friends are going to dinner or whatever with you, and are frequently saying they forgot to bring money or whatever, then I don’t know why you would continue to go out with them. Of all the female friendships I had, not once did any of them ask me to pay for them.

captainsaveahoe69 · 2023-12-09T18:45:27+00:00

Yes, I have a close female friend and she's a great friend.

Kir-ius · 2023-12-09T19:01:22+00:00

Lul, you think half the population is not worth talking to as friends because they don’t have a penis? You must stereotype so hard

Not all women are the same fyi

Fun_Push7168 · 2023-12-09T19:15:33+00:00

100% is.

They're fun. They socialize a lot. Wingwomen are the best.

Sounds like you;

Need some actual common interests.
Need to not be trying to entice them to hang out

Two happens just by having common interests. The goal isn't to have female friends it's to have friends that like doing the things you like.

Most of mine share social dancing. So we also kind of depend on each other for the activity.

Since they socialize a lot, there's a constant stream of possible activities to do with them. They'll extend your social network with guys and gals alike by miles.

Its best if there is a mild undertone of attraction between you and some of them. People like each other better that way. Plus women who don't want to date you but think you are an attractive and/or decent guy are 1000 times more likely to wing or hook you up. If you live in a small area they'll also help you avoid the "mines" ( the crazies or women who no other women want to come behind, or ones where yoid be entering a bit of a drama circle). They can give you great insight to other women's behaviors too. You return the favor when they ask about guys behavior.

Outside of being asked to walk people to their cars or occasionally pretend to be someone's husband they don't ask for much. Just don't be in the mindset that you need to entice them to be your friend...so don't offer actual bf perks and they won't take advantage.

Here's a tip on the money thing. Occasionally throw out an " I'd love to go but i need to watch my money right now." If they offer to buy a couple drinks or something take it, even it out next time. You'd do the same with guys so it should be common sense.

I could write a book.

Novadina · 2023-12-09T20:14:22+00:00

My husband and I mostly share a friend circle, it’s always been a mixed gender group. It works out fine for us. If you don’t like any women then, sure, you obviously don’t want to be friends with people you don’t like. But not all men are like you, some men like people who have stuff in common and are fun to hang out with and don’t care about the genitals of said person.

Complex-Hat1875 · 2023-12-09T19:16:47+00:00

In the same way that being friends with men is also worth it. Though if people expect you to pay for everything and its never reciprocal they're not your friends bro.

I have a wide range of male friends who've had vastly different experiences than me and that hasn't really made us unable to find common ground; throwing a vagina into the mix didn't change every dynamic either. I'll never know what it's like to be a woman but it's not like they aren't suffering through most of the same crap I am day in and day out, doesn't really stop us from being able to share a drink and talk about it.

You're listing friendzoning as a fear as if that's something that happens frequently. You won't catch feelings for the vast majority of women you interact with and if you do there's nothing stopping you from dipping if the feelings aren't reciprocal. There's no gun to your head forcing you to suffer through it my man.

Oli_love90 · 2023-12-09T19:36:01+00:00

I’m constantly baffled by ya’ll lives here. Why are you paying for things, all the time for your friends?? I’d only foot the bill for a friend if it was for coffee or a special outing.

januaryphilosopher · 2023-12-09T19:10:04+00:00

Not with the attitude that the opposite sex is too different and alien to bother interacting with. If you're okay with having friends who are slightly different to you and don't all have the same background, this becomes a silly question. Of course someone can have different genitals to you but very similar interests and experiences. Most men express way more emotions around their female friends to the point they often become emotional dumping grounds. And just pay your own bill when you're out with your friends, this is completely the default?

TSquaredRecovers · 2023-12-10T00:13:09+00:00

So, question for you: If you don’t find that you have anything in common with women, do you still want to date and get into a relationship with a woman?

Because the vast majority of the time spent in a relationship is hanging out with your partner and spending time together talking, engaging in mutual hobbies, and bonding over shared interests. Time spent having sex only accounts for a small fraction of time within a relationship.

In order to have a successful, meaningful relationship, you need to actually enjoy spending time with your partner beyond just sex.

Mitoza · 2023-12-09T18:38:01+00:00

If you hate women and only are interested in them if there is the prospect of sleeping with them then the issue is you, not women's capacity to be worthy friends.

Ceazer4L · 2023-12-09T18:57:44+00:00

I can’t find anything interesting when it comes to being platonic friends with women, our lives seem too different.

Just talk and listen. Add "I feel" onto the front of whatever you say.

Maybe look in their eyes every so often and say "I understand"

Then they will open up more.

Talking is nice. Being surrounded by feminine energy is nicer at times than being surrounded by masculine energy.

Like just stick on a film or something and talk about it.

It’s not that it’s impossible it’s more about bothering to even being friends with women, any grievances you might have in your life or any sort of distraught can be discussed by other men, as you share the same life experiences as they do, I find it to be a little more healthy to have a close bond with other men than women.

I find it the opposite at least for talking and life stuff. When actually wanting to go hiking or "do something", then yeah men are better.

Listen no offence girls, but you can be a bit of handful, especially when it comes to paying for things, I always find myself stuck with the bill even though we’re supposed to be friends,

Why are you always paying? Do you come across as a Simp? Have you given these women a reason to respect you?

I also think we show our emotions better around other men, as they’ll have a better understanding of what it’s like because man oh man it’s not feckin easy.

Most my guy friends are actually pretty boring but good for hiking and doing stuff. Like I have mentioned. But chat with them just gets boring. They have no zest for life.

But am I wrong on this, because the concept of friendzoning is a real thing, and I think it would go over better if we’d just stick with having all male friends.

If your in the friendzone. Stop trying to have relationships with them if they ain't into you. Just be a friend not someone trying to get into their pants.

Look, Pre-Selection is real. Just use them as pawns and go hit on other women. Hell have you even asked them to be your wingwoman? Plenty of women love that shit.

arsenalfc4life1500 · 2023-12-09T19:33:24+00:00

Of course. Being friends with women got me invited to house parties and multiple weddings, oh yeah and if they know you're single, they are likely to know someone or at least be willing to observe if you're out together that theres someone in the same room who likes the look of you.

Hi-Road · 2023-12-09T19:36:57+00:00

Our lives are way more similar than they are different. Just as many cool girls out there as guys. I think, respectfully, your issue is your point of view. I'm not exactly sure where you're getting your idea of women from, but I don't think it's representative of reality.

PrecisionHat · 2023-12-09T21:03:21+00:00

Sure, it can be. I have some very close female friends who I don't feel expect anything like simp or friend zone treatment. They are just good people who I share interests with and get along with quite well.

AdhesivenessLevel379 · 2023-12-09T19:04:17+00:00

Men: we have an loneliness epidemic and nobody cares!

Also Men: there are no good reasons to be friends with a woman

Safinated · 2023-12-09T20:55:07+00:00

You guys make it sound like a huge effort

I don’t spend a huge amount of effort on any of my friends, male or female. We’re adults who mostly take care of our own shit; our friendship is a bonus, not a necessity

MiddleZealousideal89 · 2023-12-09T19:42:24+00:00

I have male friends and we're pretty open about shit going on in our lives, sometimes we can give each other advice, sometimes we can just listen to the other person, and we can always just hang out, have a few beers and spend some time NOT thinking about the thing that was bugging us. Friendship is worth it, but if you think it's not worth it to talk to someone because they won't be able to relate to your situation 100%, you probably won't be able to be friends with that person.

At the end of the day, nobody is forcing you to be friends with women, so if you want to only have male friends, that's a perfectly fine decision to make for yourself.

grown_folks_talkin · 2023-12-09T21:37:48+00:00

"... when it comes to being platonic friends with women, our lives seem too different ..."

That's a big reason why I've maintained platonic friendships with women, to hear their persepctives. I feel like we learn a thing or two from each other when I hang out with them.

" I always find myself stuck with the bill even though we’re supposed to be friends ..."

These women aren't very good friends. I haven't had this issue in my purely-platonic friendships.

shadowrangerfs · 2023-12-10T01:58:49+00:00

I think so. Some of my closest friends in life have been women. I have a lot of good memories about them. Just find women that you are compatible with. Women who share your interests. Actually, the don't have to share your interests. Also, set boundaries for your friendship just like you do with male friends.

MidoriEgg · 2023-12-09T19:18:30+00:00

Some men seem to really enjoy being platonic friends with women, others really don’t gel with us. Maybe it’s a personality thing? I was having a discussion with my friends recently about who we find it easier to get along with as friends, men or women, and we all had really different opinions.

wtknight · 2023-12-09T19:53:41+00:00

It’s only worth it for a guy if he isn’t attracted to her. Of course, misogynists who don’t like women as people and only like them as sex objects shouldn’t even bother.

Nellylocheadbean · 2023-12-09T19:24:55+00:00

This post is a great example of why women have no empathy for men and their issues.

soviet_enjoyer · 2023-12-09T23:05:00+00:00

It tends to end badly since the man usually catches feelings. Chaos ensues.

But it’s probably fine if you don’t get too close.

cantwifeahoe · 2023-12-10T06:50:06+00:00

No. Being a platonic friend means you checked all the boxes but looks.

RevolutionaryJob7908 · 2023-12-10T08:01:18+00:00

Plutonic Friends isnt a free service.

fongpei2 · 2023-12-10T01:03:08+00:00

Of course you should have platonic female friends. But you better have an inner circle of trusted male friends - those are the guys who will really look out for you and stick around

Spyro7x3 · 2023-12-10T03:28:49+00:00

Mostly yes having close platonic female friends is a way to get yourself roll'd into drama and situations you could've done without.

I have a friend going through it right now. We we're both friendly to this one girl I could tell was a bop, I kept my distance and was short in texting but friendly in person but my male friend he took the bait they started hanging out often eventually had sex and now he's dealing with her accusing him of stealing her drugs and turning the extended friends group against him.

I'm the only friend who knows he probably didn't do anything wrong its just that this is what happens when you fw bop ass girls for no reason. Women have an artful way of crashing shit into a blazing heap out of nowhere and over nothing.

Teflon08191 · 2023-12-09T18:53:07+00:00

It can be, but women tend to be higher maintenance than men as friends. They ask for more but don't necessarily offer more in return.

Independent-Mail-227 · 2023-12-09T20:19:43+00:00

No, they'll expect relationship services for friendship prices. It's just a way to throw money and time away.

Crimson-Pilled · 2023-12-09T18:51:30+00:00

No.

-Romantic tenision -different interests -different reasons for enjoying interests -different personalities -dominant philosophy vs submissive philosophy -no reciprocity -no vulnerability

David-Metty · 2023-12-10T04:20:01+00:00

No. Women are annoying as hell and uninteresting as hell outside of a romantic relationship. If you have a gf or are married, your partner will INSIST that you get rid of your female friends anyways… And she would be right in doing so.

AceOfSpadesGymBro3 · 2023-12-09T19:16:21+00:00

I mean are women even people? Has anyone actually listened to a woman for more than 2 minutes without picturing her naked? I don't know man.

stats135 · 2023-12-09T18:53:18+00:00

More often then not, its not worth it.

A common problem with women is how high maintenance they are, be it with friendships or relationships. As a man, the only way I see that level of maintenance making any sense is if sex is on the table.

With men, its just lower maintenance. You can literally not talk to a man for a year, and then hang out as if you've just talked yesterday.

boredom4321 · 2023-12-10T09:26:45+00:00

if someone adds something to your life as a friend then they're worth keeping around, but if you're one of those guys with a "lot of female friends" that's not a good sign because it generally means you're one of the weak guys that women keep around because they don't find you threatening or sexually exciting at all. They'll talk to you but they're going to go sleep with and date the more masculine men you aren't friends with.

kochIndustriesRussia · 2023-12-09T19:06:20+00:00

Why would you bother?

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JumboJetz · 2023-12-10T03:23:00+00:00

For me it hasn’t really if it’s a situation where I want to date her and I can instead be friends in lieu of that.

However I’m always open to be proven wrong and lately I’ve thought, what was true 10 years ago for me maybe isn’t true now so I am open to it now.

obviousredflag · 2023-12-10T11:51:29+00:00

I think you mean it's not worth it friendzoning yourself. Who the fuck pays for their platonic female friends?

justforlulz12345 · 2023-12-10T15:29:24+00:00

Yes

Key word though is it has to be a proper friendship with respect, not the orbiters in the “friend zone”. OP sounds like they are in the latter situation.

SyrusDrake · 2023-12-12T11:58:55+00:00

There are men who live completely different lives than me, and women who seem to understand me better than anyone else. There are many factors that play a much bigger role in how well you vibe with someone than their gender.

SadDevelopment4813 · 2023-12-14T12:29:26+00:00

Yes its good If you have a aunt or idk Cousin and youre Friends or some Woman who is in a different social class.

Title	Do You Think Being Platonic Friends With Women Is Worth It?
Author	Ceazer4L
Upvotes	1
Comments	129
Date	December 9, 2023 6:28 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/18ejq4r/do_you_think_being_platonic_friends_with_women_is/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/do-you-think-being-platonic-friends-with-women-is.1240253 https://theredarchive.com/post/1240253

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