My explanation of the manosphere popularity

Reposting this because a mod didn't believe it is neutral enough.

TLDR: I think I have an explanation for the popularity of the manosphere, which may add something of value to the discussions on this sub. If you come here to "combat" the manosphere, you may find some new ideas. In short, the mainstream does not entertain the idea that a “normal” guy may have trouble attracting women. So, it cannot offer validation, explanation, and guidance for men who do have trouble, so they turn to those groups that offer them.

Who typically joins the manosphere? It’s a guy in his teens who tried to initiate something with girls but failed repeatedly. He most likely goes for the mainstream advice first but does not receive much from it. He’s told to shower, be kind, be himself, and so on. He thinks that he kind of does those things, but it doesn’t really help. At the same time, he’s not blind and notices that successful guys don’t often match this mainstream advice. This advice feels invalidating to the guy: it seems that people who give it do not suppose that a socially functional guy may experience such problems. If the guy goes to online communities, he may encounter invalidation (or even aggression) directly.

In my opinion, this weakness of the mainstream is explained by its important assumption: “A normal socially adjusted guy cannot have problems with women”. Bad advice from the mainstream follows from this assumption: if a guy fails with women, he must be a total failure in life. Invalidation and aggression follow from this assumption, too: “You have trouble with women? Catch this misogynist!”.

Why is the manosphere popular? It offers everything that’s needed: validation, explanation, and guidance. All branches of the manosphere validate the guy. Their message is, “Yes, guy, you have a problem”. The explanation and guidance differ depending on the branch. RP would say, “You’re a normal guy, but women like alphas. Here’s what alpha is and what to do to become one”. MGTOW’s message is, “Yes, you have a problem, but you don’t really need women in your life”. BP says, “You have a problem, but there is no chance”.

Note, I do not state that the explanations proposed by manosphere are correct. They just offer something without stating that the guy is some kind of a failure in general.

Finally, some comments on why I wrote this stuff. I read a lot of similar comments on this sub, which are built on the assumption I wrote about. Those are variations of “Be happy alone” (invalidating), “Women like kind guys” (poor explanation), or “Take a shower” (poor guidance). Such comments won't do much to the audience of the manosphere and do not really move the discussion. You’re talking past each other and are unlikely to convince someone.

I’d like to recommend two things to those of you who found my idea interesting. Read “Radicalizing the Romanceless” and watch “Male Dating Struggles” by Macabre Storytelling.