22F here. As I wrote, I've been reading seddit for a year. I've read the good, the bad and the ugly here. Here's what I've learned/realized/want to get off of my chest. My 'advice' if you could call it that is primarily for those of you who characterize yourself as inexperienced. If you're getting laid doing what you're doing, keep on going dude and good for you.
-- The overreaching message of this community is great. Go out, have a good time, be outcome-independent, be interesting, become the best version of yourself, give no fucks. The top posts, the ones of with the most upvotes, they get that right. It's not so much their techniques as the way they frame their life. I'd go out on a limb and say their/that attitude is more beneficial to them in attracting women than their actual techniques
-- There are a ton of different styles (obviously) and they're not all going to work for you. Peacocking, for example (and to be fair it's not like peacocking comes up often at all in this seddit) can work really well for some guys and not at all for others. 'Gaming' is not a one size fits all solution, you can read as much as you want on it but what works for Mystery might not work for you. It depends on a ton of factors, your best bet is to try different styles and see what feels natural and gets you the most success.
-- STOP READING SEDDIT IF YOU'RE A HIGHSCHOOLER. Again, understand overarching theme of seddit (give no fucks, etc) ? Great. You're done here. There's a reason most FRs involve bars or clubs or parties. Focus your time on school or your friends or your hobbies. High school might be the only place you will be able to make true platonic female friends. Make some just for the sake of having friends that are girls or being in a friend group with girls. If you leave high school with the feeling of being comfortable carrying a conversation with a girl 1 on 1, you're fine. You'll have plenty of time for sarging/gaming in college and later on.
-- When you're reading a FR that involves a lot of success (an F close, say) realize that these guys have had numerous nights where shit hasn't worked. They've fined-tuned their game. 'Techniques' like kinoing, for example, can go VERY WRONG if you don't know what you're doing (in the example of kinoing, it can come off as creepy, and once a girl thinks you're creepy it's hard coming back.) I'm not saying not to do it, I'm saying that understand that if you're a total n00b there will (probably) be failure involved. Work up to it.
-- That being said, a huge pet peeve of mine are those challenges where guys go up to random women and ask WHAT TIME IT IS. I get you have AA, but we all have cell phones so that will come off as weird. If your AA is to the point that asking someone for the time causes anxiety (and there's nothing wrong with that, you gotta start somewhere!) ask instead if they know where [important public transit stop, landmark in your town that everyone knows] is.
-- Don't feel like sarging/gaming? I'm not saying you need to game every night, but if you feel the need to but talk yourself out of it for any reason, then spend an hour that day/night exercising. It's not gaming but it's self-improvement and you'll feel better about yourself. You don't have to be the best looking to get girls, but the more attractive you are, the easier it gets.
-- Ever heard of the book (yep, it was a book first!) called "He's Just Not That Into You"? It's written for women and it's basically like 'if he doesn't make an effort, he's not into you.' Guess what? It's the same for girls. If she flakes, seems unresponsive, SHE'S NOT INTO YOU. This is especially true because (next point)...
-- Girls lead guys on all of the time. For fun, for self-validation, for whatever reason. Don't waste your time on them. Make it clear you don't want to be their FRIEND and if they don't reciprocate that then move on.
-- If there's one thing that I can't preach enough, if you want to eventually fuck the girl you're gaming, you need to make it clear that you're not looking to be friends. You don't escalate kino like a madman if that doesn't work for you nor do you need to bring up sex all of the time for this. For example, if there's a cute girl in your class, don't just get her number and ask her to study or for coffee multiple times. Hang out with her 1 on 1 and then invite her to a party or a bar or whatever. Guys wait too long to be proactive and end up friendzoning themselves.
-- This might contradict what I just said, but I've read a lot about making conversations sexual and asking women about the craziest shit they've done, etc. This works ONLY IF THE WOMAN IS OPEN TO THE IDEA OF HAVING SEX WITH YOU ALREADY. There's no real good tell for that, but realize that asking a girl you barely know about her sexual life can cross boundaries. Yes, make it clear you're not looking to be friends but that doesn't mean you need ask the craziest place she's had sex.
-- If a girl tells you she has a boyfriend, it's because a) it's true and she doesn't want to waste your time or b) she's trying to politely tell you she's not interested at that moment. Yeah maybe you can change her mind and you'll have mind-blowing amazing sex that night. But if you're a novice and a girl tells you that, focus your energy elsewhere.
-- The term oneitis is misleading. It's normal to like one person, regardless of their gender, more than another. It's normal for you to like one girl more than the next. What you're doing wrong is eschewing everything you've learned with seddit and revert back to your old, unsuccessful behavior with her. That's why it's not working out. Pursue her but don't drop everything else for her.
-- Negging. For the love of God, don't do it. I know, I know seddit preaches to only do it to the hottest of the hot, but what you fail to account for is a girls self esteem. The hottest girls aren't necessarily the most confident. Even if the girl has THE BEST LEGS YOU'VE EVER SEEN, don't make a neg about them because you have no idea how she feels about them. You really need a special frame, girl, situation and personality to pull it off. Unless you're getting laid left and right, don't neg a girl. Being cocky (can be) good, being a total asshole is not. Which is how most negs come across IRL. But if you're going to do it, make sure the girl is a legit 9 or 10, or that feature that you're negging is a 9 or 10 feature. (edit: I seriously debated putting this one in because it's such a firestorm. i'm not saying negging doesn't work, I'm just saying use it on girls that are EXTREMELY confident.)
AAAAAnd with that, I'm unsubscribing from seddit and askseddit (on my non-throwaway, duh). It felt really good to get this off my chest. Good luck to you guys!
EDIT: I guess I'm surprised that some of yall seem upset that this is just a rehash of the sidebar? Of course it is. It's, from one year, things I've noted in my head over and over. I'm glad though that there are mini debates going on in the comments about certain points, that's awesome.
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