Women, How Often Do You Run Into An Attractive Man In Real Life?

Safinated · 2024-04-15T19:00:17+00:00

I live in a major US city

See one? Probably every day.

Interact with one? Maybe once or twice a week, mostly as service workers

I’m not single, so never. And I’m ugly-ish, so men do not seriously hit on me

_noneoftheabove · 2024-04-15T23:21:04+00:00

I think this is hard for women to answer because we’re not attracted to men in the same way they are to us. I work in a midsized downtown area. I see quite a few men (probably 5-10) on a daily basis who are attractive enough that if I interacted with them and found their personalities attractive, I’d be into them. Men I actually find hot on looks alone? Probably one or two a year, and the “hot” part usually requires looks + style. Same dude with bad hair and bad clothes would not catch my attention.

apresonly · 2024-04-15T20:40:01+00:00

attractive to me includes personality, and since i love a man who can talk, that's pretty rare. Once a year would be a very liberal estimate.

physically attractive only? much more common, probably 1-2 a month. (not talking about buff chads, i try not to interact w those men unless they are extraordinarily friendly and affable)

how many men show interest in you a year? And how many dates do you go out on a year?

zero, i'm celibate.

never flirt with these men.

i got asked out a lot on the street in my 20s and early 30s so i kinda just got used to avoiding eye contact/trying not to talk to strangers. i should prob fix that.

januaryphilosopher · 2024-04-15T21:28:40+00:00

I'm not attracted to people I don't know. The majority of men my age I wouldn't rule out and if I do know someone well enough there's like a 20% chance. I live in a city with a young population, go out socialising at least once a week usually more and currently work as a teacher. When I was single I asked out a couple of men a year. Two men have either propositioned me or said yes to me, both were friends. Unless you count the two paedophiles who hit on me which I guess makes four. I have been on multiple recurring dates with them and one other date with a woman. She was the one date I had from any online service.

MyLastBestChance · 2024-04-15T22:43:43+00:00

I think you’re going to be confused because I don’t think you understand that seeing an attractive person is an entirely different thing than being attracted to that person which is still a step removed from having any desire to interact with that person at all.

Lilrip1998 · 2024-04-15T19:04:03+00:00

I live in New York and work in night life so they’re either smoking or butt ugly with no inbetween.

MyHouseOnMars- · 2024-04-15T22:12:38+00:00

Never

but I also work from home and live alone so....

😂

But all jokes aside for me I need to interact with a person to think that they are hot. Maybe sometimes I see someone in public transport that I think "mmmm he's hot" my mind just doesn't work like that

MiddleZealousideal89 · 2024-04-15T21:21:18+00:00

I’m in a major Canadian city, I'd say I see attractive guys whenever I'm walking around town. I show zero interest in them because I'm taken. I've had a couple of people approach me in the last year.

sublimemongrel · 2024-04-16T03:35:06+00:00

Good looking men? Fairly often. Men I’m actually attracted to? Rarely over the course of my life. Attraction means I have substantially interacted with them and have developed an emotional connection

Sharp_Engineering379 · 2024-04-15T18:50:56+00:00

Daily? Maybe one or two. In social spaces? Ten maybe? I have a thing tomorrow night, I’ll count. My HHH (running) chapter is meeting Thursday, that usually brings new like minded people around my age, so my number will probably rise when I’m around others I share common interests and experiences with.

But merely noticing attractive men doesn’t mean I consider them occasions to act. They are just generic attractive people until or unless I have a reason to get to know them better.

operation-spot · 2024-04-15T19:07:32+00:00

I don’t really look at men in general and when I’m out of the house I’m focused on other things. I’ve seen people that I thought were attractive but again, I’m busy so there’s no need to pursue anything. I also don’t quantify interactions so I don’t have any good numbers.

fiftypoundpuppy · 2024-04-15T20:45:40+00:00

I'm going to define "attractive" as "would personally want to fuck based on looks alone."

I run into these guys IRL hardly ever. Maybe ~25 a year? It's heavily location dependent though. In my neighborhood I rarely see them. In other neighborhoods the guys are more attractive.

I am very introverted though, and I rarely pay attention to others in public. I'm usually focused on what I'm there to do or thinking about other things going on in my life at the time. Or listening to a podcast. I do regularly leave the house to walk my dog and take her to different parks, so I am around groups of people a few times a week.

Additionally, how many men do you show interest in, in a year, in real life?

0.

And how many men show interest in you a year?

Idk, do I count the drunk dude touching me without my permission at a Mars Volta concert?

It really depends on how you define "showing interest." The way that 99% of men show interest in me immediately disqualifies them from consideration. And I wouldn't be attracted to them otherwise anyway, soo...

And how many dates do you go out on a year?

0 this year, and that probably won't change. Went on dates with three guys last year, two of them were repeated dates.

And how do you end up going on these dates? They just ask you out cold? Or mainly dating apps?

Dating apps. I've never been interested in anyone who has cold approached me. My boyfriends were found at school or events like Meetup.

What is your ratio of dates from real life vs dating apps? And what is the ratio for quality dates- real life vs apps?

Most of my dating history has been overwhelmingly Internet-based, but all of my relationships have been people I knew or met IRL.

So since I already knew them in some capacity, there wasn't really much "dating" involved. We either officially became a couple or started banging and became a couple. When I think "dating" I think specifically planning to go out somewhere or a specific activity.

So that said, I don't really have much of an IRL "dating history" to compare. I don't really have bad dates per se, just ones where we're not compatible for whatever reason.

And how many times a year, does a man show interest in you subtlely but does not cross any lines, but you decide to later make your interest known?

This never happens. I'm not regularly interacting with people outside of my friend group like that, and there's very few single guys in my friend group. The ones who are single I'm not attracted to/compatible with.

There was one very attractive dude I met at a friend's Halloween party a few years back, but he was coupled at the time. Then maybe a year ago I ran into him on the dating app I was using and reached out explaining how I knew him. Turns out he's ENM. Which was an immediate non-starter for me.

So yeah. Not a whole lot of opportunity for this situation to happen.

Planthoe30 · 2024-04-16T04:30:46+00:00

How Often Do You Run Into An Attractive Man In Real Life?

Like randomly? I never pay attention to people I don’t know when I go out. So never? Maybe once a year but nothing really comes to mind. Even when I was single finding a man wasn’t a priority because they kept finding me.. if I am at the grocery store I am preoccupied shopping. At the gym I’m focused on trying not to die. Other than that I pretty much go Walking with friends at the park two-three times a week and my only focus is on our conversations. I have really bad ADD and am unmedicated. I don’t multi task well. Looking at attractive people isn’t something I spend my time doing.

Additionally, how many men do you show interest in, in a year, in real life?

5 in my entire life.

And how many men show interest in you a year?

Idk since I have been married it’s mainly been just random Facebook, social media messages I ignore. I may get cat called irl but I usually just pretend I don’t hear them so I don’t have to deal with it. Some cold approaches especially when my sister and I go out together or I’m traveling by myself.

And how many dates do you go out on a year?

Before marriage I’d shoot for every other week. Or when I had time. People I knew irl were my priority for dating but occasionally I’d browse apps when I didn’t have anyone in mind. I went on a lot of first dates and then never spoke to them again… Occasionally someone might peak my interest and I’d talk to them a bit until something made us incompatible or I noticed a red flag.

And how do you end up going on these dates?

We ran in the same friend circles, I used tinder a handful of times, bumble a couple times (never actually met up with anyone on bumble though), then discovered ok Cupid and I had the most luck there but nothing panned out. Met my husband through a mutual friend group, that neither of us hang out with anymore.

They just ask you out cold?

I have been asked out cold but never entertained that. I gave someone my number once we texted a bit then I ghosted him the same day. I was initially interested but he was a boring conversationalist and acted entitled.

What is your ratio of dates from real life vs dating apps?

Real life 60% versus OLD 40%

And what is the ratio for quality dates- real life vs apps?

I guess I will define quality by people I talked to more than one date… 11 irl and 2 OLD. 8 relationships, 1 from OLD 7 from real life. 5 didn’t make the cut.

And how many times a year, does a man show interest in you subtlely but does not cross any lines, but you decide to later make your interest known?

Idk the answer to that because I may not notice if it’s subtle. I also probably wouldn’t remember.

EulenWatcher · 2024-04-15T18:53:17+00:00

When I go out, I usually see at least some pretty people, both men and women. We live in a huge city with lots of people though, so it's pretty expected. Seeing pretty people doesn't make me do anything about it though.

My husband and I have been together for more than 10 years now and I've ever felt attraction only to 3 people total. I'm in my late 20s now. I can't feel attraction purely on appearance, so seeing attractive strangers doesn't do anything for me. It's nice to look at them, but I feel zero sexual appeal.

MistyMaisel · 2024-04-15T19:03:24+00:00

I frequent an MMA gym, so it's a lot higher than when I didn't do that, but still probably not as common as you'd think. Probably 1/10 is very good looking and another 1/10 is pretty good looking. Outside of that, almost never?

I've got a man I intend to marry, so, just him. Prior to that, I would say I was interested in maybe 1-2 men on a good year and 0 on a bad year.

Commercial_Tea_8185 · 2024-04-15T18:53:34+00:00

Conventionally attractive men? Idk like threeish times a month. But thats just observationally, im not sexually attracted to men

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kalashhhhhhhh · 2024-04-15T21:22:38+00:00

how often you run into an attractive man in real life

I see a lot of attractive men on a weekly basis, I consider some of my friends and collegues attractive. Note: doesn't mean I'm attracted to them.

how many men do you show interest in, in a year, in real life?

I'm in a relationship so only one.

And how many men show interest in you a year

I don't really keep count so I have no idea.

And how many dates do you go out on a year?

The last time I was single was over two years ago and it lasted for about a month and a half. I went on a date with one guy between the two relationships. Before my previous relationship I was in 9th grade so I don't think you're interested in that statistic.

And how do you end up going on these dates?

I met every single guy I ever went out with through mutual friends except one boy in 8th grade whom I met on a vacation.

Or mainly dating apps? What is your ratio of dates from real life vs dating apps? And what is the ratio for quality dates- real life vs apps? I've never used a dating app.

And how many times a year, does a man show interest in you subtlely but does not cross any lines, but you decide to later make your interest known?

Doesn't apply.

waffleznstuff30 · 2024-04-16T05:16:31+00:00

It's been 80 years..... Lol jk jk

I went out to a show in Costa Mesa. There was this guy running the merch booth for one of the bands. And literally just the most beautiful man I have seen. I wanted to buy him a drink he looked like a hot version of Ezra Miller.... So it was like almost a year ago. I should have bought him a drink he was dreamy.

I was in London a few weeks ago and ran into a couple....

But yeah that's about it...my town is mostly geriatrics. Or college kids. Or chubby dudes. Married men (I live in a suburb...) Yeah it's not.... Good.

Obvious_Smoke3633 · 2024-04-18T14:28:18+00:00

Honestly, maybe once or twice a month. Usually at the gym or when I go out.

GlamSunCrybabyMoon · 2024-04-16T03:49:41+00:00

I don’t see men who I find attractive very often. If I do they’re usually with their girlfriend.

The only men I really interact with are my family, coworkers, or other parents at the park or school, or service workers. I don’t talk to anyone on dating apps or social media.

GridReXX · 2024-04-16T10:49:27+00:00

I think you’re going to be confused because I don’t think you understand that seeing an attractive person is an entirely different thing than being attracted to that person which is still a step removed from having any desire to interact with that person at all.

I came to reiterate /u/MyLastBestChance’s point.

Objectively assessing other humans as objectively good looking doesn’t mean I’m attracted to them and it certainly doesn’t motivate me to interact with them. My desire stems from other triggers.

However those people being pretty means that when my desire is triggered it’ll likely be easier directed to those people.

Nellylocheadbean · 2024-04-16T16:55:38+00:00

The last time I saw a really attractive guy was last year. I remember it because this rarely happens. I do see regular looking men daily but that’s it.

If I had to quantify it, maybe like once or twice a year?

Flightlessbirbz · 2024-04-16T01:09:03+00:00

I don’t live in a particularly “attractive” area but still see men I’d class as pretty attractive most of the time when I leave the house. Not as many as women, but it’s not exactly rare. But seeing someone is objectively attractive isn’t always the same as being attracted to them, I’m in a relationship so I’m just not looking at people that way or paying much attention to the looks of others.

Since I’m in a relationship, I don’t show interest obviously. When I was single, I would only show interest if I knew a guy to some extent first. I wouldn’t have felt comfortable or wanted to hit on a stranger, although I don’t think there’s anything wrong with it if you’re respectful.

How often men show interest in me heavily depends on how much I’m getting out, it’s not often but tends to be younger guys working at stores/restaurants or the random dude who doesn’t spot my fiancé at the bar/club. I met my fiancé at a bar, before that, I met some dates online and some through mutual friends. Never felt like I was drowning in attention, and I feel like most women who say they are are either very attractive or misinterpret normal interactions as flirting.

Title	Women, How Often Do You Run Into An Attractive Man In Real Life?
Author	DaveR_77
Upvotes	13
Comments	131
Date	April 15, 2024 6:40 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1c4tvao/women_how_often_do_you_run_into_an_attractive_man/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/women-how-often-do-you-run-into-an-attractive-man.1515222 https://theredarchive.com/post/1515222

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