I don’t get it.

47m 10 months separated….divorce in the system.

At one point during this process I actually started feeling somewhat better but I can’t figure out why.

I have been doing “all the right things” according to people I know….spiritually, financially, physically, mentally.

But the anxiety seems to recede and then come back over and over again.

The divorce isn’t final….lawyers dragging their feet as always and she isn’t in a hurry (even though she wanted the divorce.)

It just sucks that everyone has to live in this new reality because of her selfishness.

I’m trying to get used to the idea of being single the rest of my life because I refuse to ever go through anything like this again.

To her it seemed like the flip of a switch, to me it was devastating…..I’m supposing because I have human emotions.

Other than working and taking care of my kids when they are here I’m not sure what to do.

No hobbies that I had previously hold my interest anymore.

My counselor says to “try something new”.

But what? I can’t muster enough motivation towards anything new even if I try and nothing new seems compelling to me.

And how will that help?

I’m just stuck living in a zombie like repeat everyday.