I came to a harsh realization after this weekend of running game with someone I met randomly during the week before the weekend.

On Thursday, I went to a bar event for a friend and a stranger saw me picking up a girl I saw with her two friends. Her two friends decided to leave but the girl chose to stay there with me and leave her friends. I took her home that night and I’ll see her again next Saturday.

Anyhow, at some point at the bar when she went to the washroom; this random guy starts asking me to give him advice on how I do it. I told him to take my number and on Friday and Saturday; I’ll go out with him and see how he does.

So now Friday comes. We go to this like bar with lots of university students around 20-23. It’s a great opportunity to practice for him. I decided I would have his confidence level first before saying anything.

Remember, this is a confidence test. I see a group of 2 girls and I ordered him to open the set. He’s hesitant, starts making excuses, says they probably won’t be interested. How can he know that if we haven’t even approached yet? Actually unbelievable.

After sipping on his beer for several minutes; he decides he can’t go. At this point, I’m dumbfounded. I decide to approach and I introduce myself and they introduce themselves. Then I introduce my friend and we all converse. I’m guiding the entire conversation and constantly queuing in my friend to hop in but he’s not taking any hints. So I call him out directly and tell the girls that he went to an amazing concert in the city last night (which he did). They ask him “really? How was it and who was performing?” All he says is “yeah it was cool.” They look visibly confused. At this point, I closed the set and say goodbyes.

I decided to talk with him to try to understand what’s wrong. He says he’s shy and I told him that’s why I was leading and getting everyone involved, comfortable, and laughing. When I’m distracting 1 girl, he does not even try to talk to the other person who I’m not speaking to. In these situations, I don’t know what to do if the other person isn’t even trying.

I told him, we can try 1 more set. I find a group of 3 girls and I ask him to be brave and just go for it. (You need to just go for it, that’s how you improve!). He doesn’t even after I tried raising his confidence several times. I once again, opened the set of 3. Fast forward, I had them all comfortable, feeling good. Then some random stranger joins us and starts talking to one of the girls. This was actually good because now it’s 3 guys and 3 girls. I focused on 1, the stranger did too but my friend is just standing there. So I looped him back in with relatable topics but it never went anywhere as he kept being silent and just staring at us.

Next, I slightly whispered to him that it’s important to guide the conversation from casual to more flirty. I said I would give him an example so he can attempt the same thing. By the way, at this point; we’ve only been speaking to these 3 girls for 5 minutes.

So I get closer to the girl I was focusing on and I started teasing her and then I just went in for the kiss. I know someone’s gonna ask what I said to her. I basically just kept teasing her that she doesn’t remember my name but yet she’s talking to me this much. Simple, effective. Move in and make out in front of everyone.

The night didn’t go too well for him but afterwards, we talked outside the bar for a half an hour so I can try to understand him more and the level of anxiety. I promised I would meet again tomorrow to give it another try somewhere else.

Saturday —

Saturday night arrives. I’m feeling good. He said he’s feeling good. I told him we’re gonna focus on just basic conversations now rather than flirting.

We arrive at the bar, tons of women. Tons of opportunities. I said I’ll open the first set. I saw a group of 6 girls. I told him the amount doesn’t matter; you just need to focus on someone. The only goal here was just having a simple conversation as if they were friends. We needed to start at the basic after what I witnessed on Friday.

I approached and he followed. I opened with “Is this an open group? We’re looking for new friends.” Then a bunch of they said “yes of course, we can do that.”

Perfect. I string him into the conversation, hype him up a bit and then when we land on a topic relatable; he can lead (such as hobbies). We were talking about funny school stories and the girls were sharing. At some point, I distracted majority except for 1 and I was whispering to him “this is your chance. Just talk to her as you would anyone.”.

He looks at me and says “okay” but just stands there. So I tried to help and he started talking to her. They spoke for a decent while and then eventually the girls went elsewhere.

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Final Set:

A set of 2 girls. I see them in a different corner. I tell him he needs to open this one. He eventually does after 5 minutes.

He walks up “hey guys, what are you drinking?” One girl says “Vodka Soda” . Then he just freezes and stares at me. At this point, I’m completely confused why he’s looking at me and not saying literally anything else to her. She says something else but he’s still just staring at me. I told him quietly to “keep going, ask her name.” And he’s like “it’s okay, the set is finished”.

At this point, I was done lol. There is and was no hope.

Guys picking up girls is the next step AFTER being able to talk to girls. It doesn’t come before that. I felt so awkward. He also told me he was gonna leave soon so after he did, I just stayed solo and within the next 10 minutes I was making out with another girl after flirting. If you want success, start from the basics.

This is why I just go out alone because it’s honestly just feels like I’m being handicapped with the wrong person.