If most women don’t care about size & can’t orgasm from PIV, isn’t PIV sex inherently misogynistic?

thelajestic · 2025-06-13T10:06:33+00:00

Things can still be pleasurable when they don't result in orgasm - PIV still feels good and is fun. And good sex generally does involve a mix of focuses, for most people good sex isn't just a case of sticking it straight in and doing PIV and nothing else.

Lemon_gecko · 2025-06-13T10:00:59+00:00

Size matters, just not in a way men think. Bigger is not better. The fact that we can’t orgasm from PIV alone doesn’t mean we don’t have pleasure from PIV.

That being said, i think there are some disparities about women pleasure.

That reminded me, i’ve read an article about study where married couples were brought, and they asked (separately men and women) are they satisfied with a dick size of a man. And most men had average and thought it would be better if they were bigger, and most women were satisfied. What made me laugh is that scientists made a conclusion that size doesn’t matter to women. Like where did it come from?? Why not that women like average? I would like to see him getting fucked in the ass with big and small cock and tell me again, that size doesn’t matter.

Downtown_Cat_1745 · 2025-06-13T10:16:09+00:00

Most women can’t orgasm from PIV alone. That doesn’t make it unpleasant.

-Shes-A-Carnival · 2025-06-13T11:49:00+00:00

the push of vaginal orgasms as the only "real" orgasms has been seen as misogynist since 2nd wave feminism dealt with it

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Myth_of_the_Vaginal_Orgasm

SwimmingTheme3736 · 2025-06-13T11:27:25+00:00

I love piv it feels so good even if I don’t orgasm I love finishing with it

Sex isn’t just about finishing, it’s the whole journey

Temporary-Flight-192 · 2025-06-13T12:39:47+00:00

Oof. No one said women didn’t enjoy piv even if they don’t orgasm….

PIV is how babies are made, incoming hate mail aside, and I also say this as a personal devotee of the iud, from the point of view of the purpose of sex, piv at some level is the only “real” procreative sex.

griz3lda · 2025-06-13T10:42:20+00:00

Andrea Dworkin already wrote about this

It’s definitely not true that all women can’t cum from PIV though, I do all the time.

ydamla · 2025-06-13T11:32:02+00:00

I think this is just a naturalistic fallacy. Just because heterosexual people have been doing PIV for decades, doesn’t mean this should be or is the way of having sex and giving a woman an orgasm. I think calling something misogynistic by nature is flawed. We‘re just built different.

I think the second point you made (cultural reinforcement) doesn’t really speak for your argument, rather it points to something else. The framing of sex in media (which isn’t something that started recently when the internet got more accessible, but it’s something that has existed for decades) is in my opinion the main reason why people think sex=piv.

This influence is probably the main reason why there’s an orgasm gap. Just as a different example: Old/Traditional gender roles are probably also the reason why, what people like to call „toxic masculinity“ exists. If there wouldn’t be a discrepancy between what is and what should be, toxic masculinity wouldn’t be a topic for discussion because it simply wouldn’t exist. Same with the orgasm gap. There’s the idea of how people think it should be based on what media tells them (what’s portrayed in porn, piv=enough) but it doesn’t align with what is (women usually need external stimulation to orgasm).

I think if media would portray the reality more, this would be less of a problem. Also, ladies, if you date someone that doesn’t already know that you need external stimulation, tell them and teach them. Someone who loves you will want to satisfy you imo.

Flightlessbirbz · 2025-06-13T11:37:22+00:00

First off, just because something doesn’t usually lead to orgasm by itself does not mean it isn’t enjoyable. Many women enjoy PIV, so no it isn’t misogynistic. However, there’s an important nuance here - excessive focus on PIV as all there is to hetero sex while everything else is just sort of an optional “appetizer,” is in fact misogynistic, since the vast majority of women need more than just that to truly enjoy sex and experience orgasm.

Now, there’s another nuance here - just because a guy is too focused on PIV as “what sex is” also does not necessarily mean he is a misogynist. Usually, it just means he’s poorly educated by this overly male-focused view of sex that’s deeply engrained in our society and perpetuated by porn. Most men do care about their partner’s pleasure, it comes down to whether or not they’re willing to learn, or going to insist that she should enjoy porn sex because they just refuse to question their habits.

Trikger · 2025-06-13T18:05:37+00:00

PIV sex isn't inherently misogynistic.
Considering PIV sex as the sole focus and goal of sex is misogynistic.

The way our culture is built, sex does mainly revolve around the pleasure of men. I partly blame porn for this, as well as the fact that female sexuality has always been frowned upon to begin with.

Outside_Memory5703 · 2025-06-15T23:04:06+00:00

Only if you believe being pounded into orgasm is the point of sex

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Routine-Present-3676 · 2025-06-13T16:01:38+00:00

Hope this helps

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coldsleepybitch · 2025-06-13T16:27:32+00:00

Is penetrative vaginal sex inherently misogynistic? No, of course not. Is it misogynistic to prioritize men’s sexual pleasure over women’s, always regard PIV intercourse as the default primary event, and treat other types of sex which are more likely to make a woman cum as an optional “extra”? For sure. The common portrayal in porn/media of women always having intense, dramatic orgasms during penetration with very limited depictions of other forms of sex, not to mention being physically ready for PIV on the spot, does not represent the experience of most women and definitely sets an unrealistic expectation for female sexuality. While male sexuality isn’t always represented in a realistic way either, at least the majority of dudes can cum during PIV most of the time.

I’ve never reached orgasm from just penetration and have sometimes even found it to be painful. Especially on entrance or if my cervix gets rammed. I still want to engage in it because it can feel nice with enough prep and lubrication, plus it’s the most reliable way to make my partner finish and I enjoy the intimacy and closeness with him during PIV. Feeling his orgasm while inside is really hot and that alone makes me want to do it. My husband is a giver, we almost never incorporate any penetration until he makes me cum first (he is highly skilled with his mouth and very much enjoys it.) PIV feels a lot better for both of us after I’ve already had my O because the vag is wetter and more relaxed. It’s a win/win.

Mentathiel · 2025-06-13T20:53:11+00:00

It's called penetrative sex, I've only ever heard weird radfems call it PIV.

I don't think it's fair to say "statistically unlikely to give women pleasure", as sexual pleasure can be experienced without climaxing and penetrative sex is pleasurable for most women. The reason it's so commonly engaged in is that it's one of the rare things that brings both partners simultaneous pleasure, and the fact that it's simultaneous makes it intimate and nice, because you're sharing an experience, enjoying each other.

I do agree that it is too central though, that we don't put enough focus on female pleasure, and that we do consider other types of sex less real and more of foreplay. I do think that is wrong and other sex acts need to be elevated to defaulthood lol aka being assumed as a part of a sexual experience by default.

Tylikcat · 2025-06-14T18:00:24+00:00

I think a lot of straight men think that sex is all about their penis, and even if they care about their partner's pleasure it's pretty secondary. That is misogynistic.

But let's keep in mind that clitoral stimulation and piv sex aren't mutually exclusive. In fact, they generally go very well together.

ValeWho · 2025-06-15T11:46:06+00:00

Just because you can't come from only PIV doesn't mean you can't cum during PIV. It just means you have to add clitoral stimulation.

But sure if a woman is not enjoying PIV and is only doing it for her partner and he doesn't care that she is not having fun then this is not my definition of a healthy and happy relationship

ExcitementLow4699 · 2025-06-18T15:35:24+00:00

PIV is meant to feel good for women too. It's my personal favorite part of sex; I prefer it to clitoral stimulation. I have found that the correct penis size, shape, and harness is instrumental in producing an orgasm during PIV.

ETA: I think women have been somewhat gaslit into believing that if they care about penis size at all, they are shallow. But it matters, and it's not shallow.

flipsidetroll · 2025-06-13T13:43:58+00:00

Gosh, sometimes I truly believe that you guys are literally trying to talk women out of having sex with you. Can you imagine if we all agreed “why yes. Yes it is misogynistic. We shall no longer do that!”

No. It’s not misogynistic. I’m an adult who wouldn’t do it if it wasn’t enjoyable on so many levels. Does everything have to be ultimately successful at the highest level for you to want to do something? I guess that explains a hell of a lot about your views on women.

Title	If most women don’t care about size & can’t orgasm from PIV, isn’t PIV sex inherently misogynistic?
Author	Disastrous-Lynx-3247
Upvotes	0
Comments	130
Date	June 13, 2025 9:50 AM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1labwmn/if_most_women_dont_care_about_size_cant_orgasm/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/if-most-women-dont-care-about-size-cant-orgasm.1554628 https://theredarchive.com/post/1554628

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