Is hiring escorts as unethical as some people make it out to be?

PassengerCultural421 · 2025-10-16T00:39:53+00:00

Women aren't fans of sex workers. For the same reasons they aren't fans of AI girlfriends

The two main reasons.

1 Competition: Women hate it when men can replace, can find other avenues for sex. Sex workers, sex toys, or AI girlfriends. That means women have less control with using sex as a bargaining chip.

2 Traditional masculinity: Men are seen as losers or incels if they aren't successful at getting romantic relationships with women.

-Shes-A-Carnival · 2025-10-16T03:03:01+00:00

stop asking women to approve of it and go do it. you will never get female approval fir this, it has always been a clandestine male secret. anyone telling you not to only cares about everyone else but YOU

Aggravating_Owl_1935 · 2025-10-16T00:13:50+00:00

Nope.

The only people who have a problem with it are people who are incentivized to keep young men thirsty for sex.

Inevitable-Bite8660 · 2025-10-16T01:15:29+00:00

Of course, you can use an escort service if you want, but at 22, you seem way too young to think, “I’ll never lose my virginity unless I pay for it.”

I just hope you don’t get too discouraged about that side of things so early on.

midnight_blue77 · 2025-10-16T03:43:41+00:00

I'm a 22-year-old virgin and I've come to the conclusion that I won't lose my virginity unless I pay.

Every boy figures that out when he's 12 my man. Even when it's not with money, trust me, you pay.

Main-Tiger8537 · 2025-10-16T01:02:33+00:00

i think you have to compare sexwork with dangerous jobs that affect your health like coal miner and similiar things... nobody wants to destroy his health for minimum wage but people do a lot of stuff to pay the bills...

a lot of people put sex on a pedestal and generally consider exclusively women as vulnerable...

then there are women like bonny blue or on the other extreme end rachel wilson...

Why is prostitution really illegal?

rando_dud · 2025-10-16T16:41:37+00:00

Your body, your wallet, your choice.

2025-10-16T21:46:25+00:00

I use to think it was unethical weird paying for sex until I got older and a wise man once told me " You don't pay her to have sex with you, you pay her to leave after having sex with you". Only men that have something to lose understands this.

Gold_Sheepherder6569 · 2025-10-16T02:16:17+00:00

Is hiring escorts as unethical as some people make it out to be?

This is heavily dependent on your worldview but the argument against paying for sex that aren’t religious fall into one of three categories generally:

The sex industry has sex trafficking so you can’t know who is or isn’t being exploited so it is immoral.
Consent to sex is so different from consent to other stuff that money can’t buy consent and you are committing rape.
The socialist/communist argument which is that all work under capitalism is a form of exploitation and one can’t truly consent since they need to work for money so sex work is unconsented sex and therefore rape.

If you think any of these arguments are unconvincing and you’re not religious then paying for sex won’t be unethical to you.

I would like to convince not to pay for sex at least not yet though because from a personal perspective there are some guys who end up feeling worse after paying because of the reality that they couldn’t get sex normally finally sets in for them. Obviously not all guys are like this and some don’t change or even become more confident after it, I have personally paid for sex before(I don’t anymore) and didn’t feel bad about doing it.

You’re also still young and I will say you should refrain from paying unless you have exhausted soft looksmaxxing options(gym/losing bodyfat, skincare) because you might be able to improve your looks and get sex/relationships. If soft looksmaxxing doesn’t work then you can try it.

Tylikcat · 2025-10-16T03:55:58+00:00

I'm in favor of sex work being legal. Depending on where you are, there may or may not be legal sex work, and what's available (legal or otherwise) may or may not be exploitative. (Legal != not exploitative, sadly. Nor is illegal necessarily exploitative, but finding illegal and non exploitative sex workers might be difficult.)

I'm assuming you've thought through whether having your first experience with a sex worker is something you are likely to regret later? (I'm not saying you should, but it's something you should work through for yourself.)

attendquoi · 2025-10-16T16:15:36+00:00

I don't think it's unethical, provided the escort you use isn't being forced or trafficked. It's more about compatibility for me. I don't want to be with a guy who needs sex so badly that he'd pay for it.

ResentCourtship2099 · 2025-10-16T21:12:01+00:00

It'll always be controversial

jadzia_d4x · 2025-10-16T00:54:16+00:00

Hiring escorts is not at all unethical, not innately at least. There will be plenty of neoliberal Hilary clinton brand feminists who insist that sex work is essentially rape either by some perversion of the definition of consent or because they believe sex trafficking is the only reason that sex work exists. There are many others who want you to know that sex work is alive and well and full of happily employed men and women who would love your business so long as you are kind and respectful.

Tylikcat · 2025-10-16T01:16:50+00:00

It's shady and it undermines the value of human connection.

I don't think a high end escort is the same level of wrong as picking someone off the street, mostly because they tend to have a lot more control over their space and vetting, but also because they're empowered to be a lot more picky about the clients they take on. It's hard to wring your hands about what's basically an artisanal service, plying a trade for themselves.

I still think it's wrong, but it's wrong the way a lie of omission is wrong. It's all the other things that enable or come about as a result of the practice that are worse.

Because wherever there's someone comfortable, making lots of money and handpicking their clients, there's someone else who's desperate, undercutting themselves, and forcing themselves to see clients they want nothing to do with.

Anything that exists within a market becomes subject to market forces, and the market pushes toward commodification of all sought out services and products, self-exploitation if not the exploitation of others. All prostitution eventually leads to pimping the desperate over a long enough time frame, (even if the pimp is yourself) so it's best not to indulge or partake.

sablesalsa · 2025-10-16T08:55:44+00:00

If you're going to do it, I would make sure you're hiring someone who chose to do sex work. I don't know the ins and outs but I'm sure you can find it somewhere.

I don't think sex work is unethical by itself, but there are a lot of questions I'd have about it. Is the person doing sex work out of their own free will? If they were raped, what recourse would they have? The lines of consent can be blurry, and it's hard to make a distinction between someone just doing their job and someone who feels violated because they have no other choice. But then if they're taking the job then who are you to question them? You know.

BobtheArcher2018 · 2025-10-16T06:42:45+00:00

Prostitution is the oldest profession for a reason. Ultimately, the moral status seems fairly contextual. But in the 2025 West, the context is that it feels wrong to me. At most it is a necessary evil, but never forget the evil part.

In the end, would you want your daughter to be one? And most prostitution interactions have an almost sad undertone IMO, whatever the performance on the outside--and this applies to the sex worker AND the client.

torytho · 2025-10-16T07:15:00+00:00

No, it's totally reasonable and you should do what feels safe and good so long as your partner is as well.

Kreeps_United · 2025-10-16T02:06:21+00:00

I judge neither willing sex worker nor client. I am interested in how you can be sure you're not hiring a woman pressured or trafficked into sex work.

I tried to make a post on a related topic, but something went weird; have you looked into surrogate partners?

Mission-Jicama-8747 · 2025-10-16T14:01:56+00:00

No, it's just a subset of women trying to maintain control of the market.

The only real issue is getting an incurable STI, high probability she has HSV2 so there's definitely a nontrivial chance you could get it.

Traditional_Lab1192 · 2025-10-16T16:42:22+00:00

No it is not. If you hire an escort, who is not being trafficked, then there is nothing unethical about it.

Only_Excitement6594 · 2025-10-16T00:19:58+00:00

There are coochies, and there are sewers. Respect yourself.

DankuTwo · 2025-10-16T03:11:18+00:00

I first had sex at 23 (spent years with a religious woman that precluded sex before marriage….terrible idea).

You’ll be fine. Do not pay for sex; especially at such a young age. You’ll regret it for the rest of your life. One of my old friends had his first ever blowjob from a prostitute….the shame he felt was palpable.

Don’t do it.

Brilliant-Block-8200 · 2025-10-15T23:56:31+00:00

I don’t think there’s anything inherently wrong with it. However, it is understandably going to be a dealbreaker for many women if and when you decide to date. You really should be honest about it when sexual history is brought up. This will shrink your pool, but it’s better so that you can be with someone compatible. If you want to go for it, there’s nothing wrong with it. Just be aware that many women will not willingly date a man who has used sex workers

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AlmostKindaGreat · 2025-10-16T19:12:00+00:00

My personal take is that as long as the sex worker is not being coerced into sex work then I'm fine with the practice, on both sides of the transaction.

I've not actually hired an escort or researched this topic, but I'd say for anyone who does that it's the moral thing to do to reasonably assure yourself that the sex worker is not being trafficked or otherwise coerced into what they are doing.

You use the term "escort", so that seems more safe. I hate to classify people this way, but the more "high-end" they are, the more likely they are to be voluntarily participating. Many or most street-level sex workers are trapped in an awful, abusive situation and I consider it harmful to financially incentivize pimps.

Suitable-Doughnut887 · 2025-10-17T00:16:56+00:00

Heres the main reason

They imagine a disgusting ugly fat nerd who llives in his mom's basement having to pay for intimacy. It gives them visceral digust.

2025-12-07T15:11:25+00:00

I have honestly been thinking about going to an escort. I’m 42 and have been divorced for five years. I work a ton so I don’t have time to go out and meet any girls, but we all have needs. I’ve talked to a few of my buddies about it and they keep telling me not to do it, but I don’t understand why? Is it really that awful to pay someone for a service that you need? I’m really looking for opinions from everyone.

Chloebebe13 · 2026-02-18T03:54:52+00:00

As a SWer no it’s not bad. You’ll pay for a companion either way. Girlfriend who can get messy. Or clear cut dates with an escort.

Popeoath · 2025-10-16T01:47:30+00:00

The moral opposition is basically that you are knowingly sleeping with someone who isn't actually attracted to you, spending money to use someone's body for one-sided pleasure.

And depending on the arrangement, you could be funding illegal sex trafficking.

Ultimately these judgments would be absolute regardless of whether you had any other way to access intimacy or not.

9guyKguy9 · 2025-10-16T02:20:50+00:00

Short answer No

Long answer Assuming it's mature consenting and fairly paid adults who weren't forced into it it is ok . In theory there should be nothing wrong with this profession but in practice it is dangerous and has the potential to negatively affect the mental health of the workers while it is in most of the world taboo.

To say something is 100% ok is something you would do and since I am a guy, would be comfortable your girlfriend mother daughter do (Not really, I hope sexbots make this profession obsolete or only practice by the small percentage that would choose it regardless of their circumstances). That said I don't think it's that unethical.

Substantial_Video560 · 2025-10-16T16:26:56+00:00

Not particulary. How one views hiring escorts is very much up to the individual. Personally to me it's just a business transaction. The escort gets the money and I get the pleasure. Also the opportunity to furfill my sexual fantasies.

Throughout the years I saw escorts I had mostly awesome experiences and very few negative ones. I don't do it so much now as my sex drive is pretty low and I've more worthwhile things to spend my wages on but it was great fun at the time. I don't regret it.

Obvious_Smoke3633 · 2025-10-16T20:15:18+00:00

I'll just leave this here

<image>

Title	Is hiring escorts as unethical as some people make it out to be?
Author	Extra-Stable-7240
Upvotes	21
Comments	183
Date	October 15, 2025 3:27 PM UTC (9 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1o7e4kt/is_hiring_escorts_as_unethical_as_some_people/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/is-hiring-escorts-as-unethical-as-some-people-make.1564218 https://theredarchive.com/post/1564218

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