So, if women are truly only attracted to 1% of men, they can't help it and they shouldn't be shamed

macdaddy0800 · 2025-10-18T16:26:56+00:00

I think women shouldn't be.

Men deal with their decisions in life and accept full accountability for their past actions.

So long as this generation of women who don't settle, accept full responsibility for whatever outcomes they may face as the age ie social isolation, unstable housing , which modern men will have to endure as well, they shouldn't be shamed.

If you're that type of woman that is only attracted to 1% of men, as the bare minimum for him so should you be like that as well.

NoDanaOnlyZuuI · 2025-10-17T11:59:24+00:00

Now it’s 1%? Soon we’ll all be lesbians

No-Consequence-6513 · 2025-10-17T15:03:32+00:00

It's the same as if I shamed heterosexual men for not liking other men

Or it's the same as if women shamed men for liking younger women. Oh wait... women actually do it all the time.

Aggressive_Spend3519 · 2025-10-17T13:10:15+00:00

I think women have a much higher threshold for physical attraction for men they know little about because ultimately what women find attractive is what I like to call a "Proven Man". This is a man who has proved that he has the chops to flourish in whatever environment you're both in. I've experienced this a good number of times in various social circles/hobbies/work. There will be a woman whom at first feels neutral towards me but over time she will start to see me in a more sexual light because she likes whatever it is I do.

I believe the fundamental problem with men nowadays is a lack of ways to prove themselves due to a buncha reasons. This has a side effect of everyone believing that a woman's sexual preference is exclusively the sort of traits she finds attractive given zero information or experience of the man. This basically spawns the OP's perspective in women and also various black pill talking points in men.

No-Violinist5018 · 2025-10-17T12:19:15+00:00

I think the issue here is the single mom phenomenon, and that women themselves seems to not be happy with this dynamic, and it promotes unhealthy expectations of everyone.

A common personality in adults dating is the single 30+ year old parent, who has unrealistic expectations of what a potential partner is, because the relationship with their 1% has failed and they don't want to make the same mistake. He was either a POS, or not that attracted to her/using her for only sex.

These women now aren't exactly looking for another 1% but there is an expectation that their next partner has to make up for that lack of attraction. They need a certain salary, a certain lifestyle, a certain behaviour.

In their minds they're settling, and blaming all potential partners for it. Then their potential partners blame themselves for not being enough.

And again it's not like these women are happy that a lot of the time the one person they look at in the room is either a POS, or straight up just doesn't care about them. Its not like they want to be part of one dudes Harem. They're unhappy with this dynamic but their response is to push the responsibility on the other men, the ones who they aren't attracted to. These men need to work to be attractive.

Truly it makes a cycle of everyone being unhappy with dating.

Komissariat · 2025-10-17T14:02:10+00:00

I agree with the OP. It's not a woman's fault who they are or are not attracted to. It's not a conscious process, and they couldn't do anything about it even if they wanted to.

Men take out their frustrations on women unfairly, but I wouldn't blame them for it either, as this is something that's very worldview shaking and hard to comprehend at first. Also, this was something only laid bare with the advent of online dating and social media, thus men lack the tools to think around this and may even find it fundamentally hard to believe.

Sweet_Discount4485 · 2025-10-17T13:20:07+00:00

The only issue with this is expecting the Princess Special still.

Even in the last few years, if you pay close attention to, say, romantic songs by men, you'll notice that the vibe has gone from "how could you do this to me???" to "I know you'll leave soon enough, so just get it over with".

The lack of effort you observe in men is entirely accurate. But the source of it is you, in many ways. Or more accurately, a mutual death spiral in dating and relationships by both men and women.

You're not going to get a caviar first date and a night on the town, you'll get a half ass coffee one with a dollar theater movie, at best.

Because they know it's going nowhere.

And then the vicious cycle of "he won't put in any effort, so I'm out", "she's just going to leave, so I'll soak it up for a moment and move on".

PassengerCultural421 · 2025-10-17T16:42:55+00:00

The black pill doesn't even shame women. It is just as a "it is what is" approach to reality.

Popeoath · 2025-10-17T16:51:42+00:00

Thing is women's attraction is malleable by social customs, and women constantly push for social environment conditions that lead to them only being attracteed to a limited fraction of men, even though statistically these arrangements don't actually make women happier on average.

It's like how I'm not at fault for being unattractive to women, but I am at fault if I make it harder for myself by moving to some Nordic country where the average man is 6 ft and the average woman is 5'6. At that point I'm just begging for difficulty.

FrodoCraggins · 2025-10-17T17:50:42+00:00

OP, is it a man’s fault if he’s only attracted to a small subset of women? Or should all of society launch coordinated social engineering campaigns to get that man to think all women are equally beautiful and he’s wrong for only being attracted to that small subset?

BitterWheel471 · 2025-10-17T13:12:06+00:00

Sure they shouldn't be shamed for it but then they shouldn't blame the avg men for stuff which the top 1% of men does. Oh and also be ready to get cheated on and pumped and dumped.

Also I refuse to believe women only like 1% of men so it is probably a you issue and not a women stuff.

GhostXmasPast342 · 2025-10-17T12:48:46+00:00

If women shouldn’t be shamed for being attracted to the 1%, women should stop shaming the other 99% of men immediately. Posting memes and Reddit posts about there are no good men left or where have the good men gone is counterproductive and doesn’t help the psyche’s of the average man at all

SecondEldenLord · 2025-10-17T16:56:43+00:00

I agree that we shouldn't shame women for being attracted to the top tier men, but at the same time, let's stop blaming average men for not being able to get women and let's stop telling them that they are not good enough.

IgorXY · 2025-10-17T12:07:49+00:00

I am not attractive and successful in dating, so take it with a grain of salt. I am attracted to most of the women my age I encounter. I don't really have strong preferences, I like different things. So when it comes to dating and serious relationships I focus on personality and compability. I believe this is the best approach in dating. It is already hard to find "your" person, but if you also limit yourself so much with physical filters? Hey, if you manage to find someone, kudos to you. Then it does not really matter if it's 10%, 1% or 0.1%.

they both expressed their sadness because they said they get approached a lot but they just don't find most men attractive

I have zero sympathy for them. In my mind, you are weird if you don't find an average person attractive enough to at least consider them as a potential partner, if you are sad from being lonely.

You say they should not be shamed, by why normalize this pickiness? You can't force attraction but if everyone tell you that you are the weird one maybe this will initialize some internal changing process that will lead you to reevaluation of what you find attractive. Idk. I can dream, can't I?

Keep_calm_or_else · 2025-10-17T13:46:27+00:00

Where are all these amazing guys? In my experience less than 1% are decent or attractive. They're all immature and selfish and the ones that aren't are crazy. The good ones are already taken, I'm happy for them and wish them the absolute best.

projecteddesperation · 2025-10-17T16:15:36+00:00

It ultimately boils down to the nature vs nurture debate. This opinion leans nature i.e. women are biologically inclined to be super selective and can’t help it. That may very well be so. However, feminism tends to lean VERY heavily pro nurture and often argues socialization influences things.

It’s annoying when the nature vs nurture debate seems to contort to always benefit women and detriment men. If you are pro nature in the debate then you also need to be pro nature for men which means a lot of male behavior is biological and “can’t be helped”. To the contrary, socialization is a thing for men which means it is ALSO a thing for women meaning women can be socialized to not be super selective and actually be attracted to comparably desirable men.

In summary, if women’s behavior “can’t be helped” then you could say the same of men which contradicts the idea of socialization and a lot of feminist concepts.

SeemedGood · 2025-10-17T17:01:31+00:00

NPCs can’t change their attraction cues. Humans who are curious, introspective, objectively self observant, and objectively self critical can expand their levels of consciousness and change their attraction cues if they wish.

Many men do this on the regular, either becoming attracted to the women whom they attract out of necessity on one end, or realizing via extensive experience that the standard attractiveness scale has very little correlation to sexually gratifying experiences and even less to what you can stand to put with on the other end and then realigning their own attraction cues for better correlation. And ultimately, that’s why men’s generalized rating of womens’ attractiveness is relatively normally distributed.

BCRE8TVE · 2025-10-21T08:05:01+00:00

So if men are truly attracted to young sexy women, men can't help it and they shouldn't be shamed either.

but why are women shamed for being attracted only to a very small percentage of men?

Because they say they're not shallow and superficial, and then their actions and criteria show they are in fact just as shallow and superficial as men. It's the double standards and hypocrisy that is being called out.

They can be attracted to only a small percentage of men. but they have to recognize that makes them shallow.

You can't force or mold attraction. It's the same as if I shamed heterosexual men for not liking other men.

And yet, men get constantly told that if they aren't attracted to obese women then they are fat phobic, that if they're not attracted to flat chested women then they're porn-brained misogynists, and if they are attracted to flat chested women they're pedophiles. Any thread about men complaining they don't get enough sexual attention get CONSTANTLY told to get attention from other men, as though the solution to men wanting sexual attention from women is to get sexual attention from other men instead.

Odd double standards.

Would you want a woman who is settling for you while not being truly attracted to you? Would you want to marry a woman who is always making excuses to avoid intimacy? No matter how much people try to promote therapy as a solution to every problem, you cannot manufacture attraction out of thin air. No, therapy won't create attraction.

I mean you're not wrong, now imagine men wouldn't date or marry any woman who isn't supermodel level of attractive.

Do you really think as a society we'd go "yeah that's fair men can't help it, they're only attracted to the top 1% hottest women, that's just how it is"?

Because I guarantee you we're nowhere near men wanting only the top 1% of women, and men are ALREADY shamed for being too superficial and too narrow in their preferences. There are constant discussions about the male gaze and beauty standards imposed on women, but for some reason there's absolutely no discussion of the beauty standards that women impose on men, and women's standards are SIGNIFICANTLY stricter and more difficult to achieve than men's standards.

Odd double standard.

I've interacted with men who were excellent guys and had great qualities, but I wasn't physically attracted to them. In some cases, I FORCED myself to be physically attracted to them because they were just amazing guys. It was a disaster. I felt horrible. I feel incredibly guilty every time I have to reject a good guy. I don't want to do it. I avoid it at all costs.

That's fair. You're absolutely allowed to have a type or a preference, just understand that if your type or preference is 6' tall with a 6 pack, 6 inches, and a 6 figure salary, you can't help what you're attracted to, but that does make you rather shallow.

If you can't feel attracted to guys despite their good qualities, then you're not attracted to good qualities, you're attracted to good looks and the qualities are clearly a secondary concern. Nothing wrong with that, and it does suck to have to reject genuinely good guys, but again, if you're only attracted to the top 1% most attractive of all men and good qualities don't make a difference, you're allowed to have those preferences, just recognize it makes you very shallow, that's all.

I was speaking to two very beautiful women today, and they both expressed their sadness because they said they get approached a lot but they just don't find most men attractive.

"I constantly get passes to go to restaurants for free, but none of them serve my favourite food".

Meanwhile men are effectively starved of any attention and are forced to eat leftover scraps, men get rejected hundreds of times and many can't get a date to save their lives.

Kinda hard to get a starving person to empathize with someone else's first world problem.

Some of you will say that a woman should lock in a man while she is young and beautiful, but this is stupid, because divorces exist and men dump their wives when they get old.

You do realize 75% of divorces are initiated by women right?

Why do you guys think that relationships last forever?

Because that's the goal. For good or for ill, in health and in sickness, till death do us part.

And then they say women are the romantic ones, when women are more superficial than men, 3x more likely to divorce than men, and apparently don't want to stick to and commit to a guy, but expect him to stick to and commit to her.

Whiskeymyers75 · 2025-10-17T13:25:28+00:00

I wouldn’t say it’s 1% but it’s a fairly small percentage. They can help it though because it’s the result of brain rot. Women’s addiction to social media and the standards created by it is no different than men with porn addiction.

BobtheArcher2018 · 2025-10-17T11:45:06+00:00

There's a cultural and environmental component, as well. So the better form of the argument is that if gender dynamics are not working well, maybe we should think about whether we are doing anything to contribute to that.

That said, it is dumbass to throw too much blame on individual women for the standards they have. There is this idea that any inflation of standards due to culture and environment can be easily undone by the individual simply by intellectually realizing they are too high. Not how humans work.

AccomplishedDot7092 · 2025-10-17T14:11:11+00:00

People always leave personal preference out of this discussion. There's no universal top 1% man to women. A man who's top 1% to one woman might be repulsive to another.

The problem is that being attractive to a lot of women requires hard work. You have to look your best and play the numbers game. You have to stop slut shaming women who actually want to have sex with you. You have to stop chasing "good girls" who make you waste months of your time for sex.

If you look your best eventually you'll find some woman who's actually attracted to you. But men don't want to put the effort in so theycomplain about women's standards.

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AndreWattson · 2025-10-19T19:47:20+00:00

Well men will still feel the need. Since men can be shamed for theirs.

DistinctAd3848 · 2025-10-19T21:21:40+00:00

Well, first, must say, I agree the core of your arguement -- as someone likely further to the right on this issue than you. (Excluding fetishes, that's a very complex topic we won't delve into today) Attraction isn’t something anyone can force, and it makes no sense to shame women or men—though men's issues are not the focus of conversation here—for being attracted to only a small percentage of men as people are always attracted to the most desirable. Like you said, forcing attraction never works and only leads to unhappiness for everyone involved. Authentic connection is essential, and no amount of therapy can simply create genuine desire out of thin air. Thanks for your honesty with your experiences; it’s important we recognize the complexities of attraction without falling into unrealistic or judgmental thinking.

However, one point I would gently like to push back on is the outright dismissal of therapy as a tool in relationships. While I agree that therapy cannot reliably manufacture genuine attraction where it doesn’t exist, I believe it plays an important role in helping couples improve communication, resolve conflicts, and deepen intimacy -- elements that are essential for maintaining a healthy relationship over time. Relationships are complex, and physical attraction alone is rarely enough to sustain them. Therapy can provide the practical guidance and emotional support needed to build mutual respect and understanding, even if it doesn’t create initial or physical desire.

Put simply, rejecting therapy entirely overlooks its potential to strengthen bonds once attraction is present, which is a crucial distinction in fostering lasting partnerships.

DecisionPlastic9740 · 2025-10-20T02:37:17+00:00

Who is shaming?

Intelligent-Insight · 2025-10-20T21:36:49+00:00

But why shouldn't the be shamed if many people are shamed for things they can't help? E.g. men for their sexuality, overweight people, addicts, etc.

SexCrispies · 2025-10-21T07:01:16+00:00

Shaming a certain women for not being attracted to a certain man doesn't happen. This should tell you everything you need to know.

It's single and frustrated men, who become hopeless and angry when they believe, that (in your example) 99% of men are not found attractive (which means they are part of those), and this means (also when they are brainwashed to believe that without evidence) that they will not be desired in the way they want to be desired, even in the case that they fnd a women who wants to be their girlfriend/wife. And this will lead to (in their view) to a lack of sex/a dead bedroom, high chance for infidelity, negative comparison of the husband to her previous Chad ONS partners, which leads to status anxiety in the husband, and a whole lot of other (imagined) negative consequences.

Combine that with no perceived chance to even get to having a girlfriend that they are attracted to themselevs, without doing massive amounts of improvement, catering to her needs, jumping through hoops and being a dancing monkey, etc. This leads to the "the juice isn't worth the squeeze" thinking.

And the only perceived way out of that, besides becoming the 1%, is to change how women behave, or what they are attracted to. On a societal level, this is done by shaming, when you have no positive incentive to give to women. While the 1% can change how women are, by telling them what they want, in order to be their boyfriends/wifes, the powerless' 99% only available tool to change anything about their bleak situation is shaming, by bonding together on the internet and blasting shaming strategies out into the nether.

And by extension, change the values of the society, so women "have to" be different in order to not be excluded from society (so the broader society would chime into the shaming). At the same time, the traits of the weak and powerless get promoted as the true noble and moral ones (niceguys <-> assholes, revaluation). See Nietzsche's slave morality and will to power. So women can really be truely attracted to the now weak and powerless, instead of just being shamed into faking it.

But of course, all of that is a delusion born out of frustration, fears, insecurities and cognitive deficits that make them not understand what 80/20 data actually means. It a view that is built on top of a mountain of biases and axioms with no evidence other than fears, it's jumping to conclusions that fit a worldview, rather than empirical evidence. And it's pointless to show them what is really going on, because you cannot convince an ideologist with evidence.

tonyghow · 2025-10-21T23:29:43+00:00

As long as you agree that the crazy high attraction requirements women have are a sign of the times / socialization.

Much the same as men finding rotund and Rubenesque women attractive a few hundred years ago.

midnight_blue77 · 2025-10-23T03:55:08+00:00

We are not shaming women because they're attracted to the top 1%.

We are shaming women because they are dishonest and deceitful about it.

Reasonable_Mouse789 · 2025-10-17T12:21:05+00:00

If you never see any attractive men match you in online dating or otherwise ask you out as a woman, then it’s probably never going to be an option. “Chad” and “Stacy” always miraculously find each other for a relationship lol

ivegotcharisma · 2025-10-17T13:58:30+00:00

It's always weird to me to hear that statement about women only being attracted to the 1% because I've dated an array of men with different attraction levels. (I don't have a type) This is mostly due to me spending long amounts of time with the people I've dated before it becoming romantic. Women, (unlike men in most cases) can develop attraction over time if a guy is funny, sweet, intelligent, interesting, etc.

2025-10-17T15:18:46+00:00

If women didn't act so insufferable with their minds sets I'd feel bad for them. For every 100 guys I see maybe one is like kinda attractive. For every 100 beautiful women there's one guys that's just as attractive,maybe. So having options means fuck all if u aren't attracted to any of them

thekickeroffish · 2025-10-22T23:21:43+00:00

You can set your price as high as you want for something, just don't complain if there's no one buying it at that price

Title	So, if women are truly only attracted to 1% of men, they can't help it and they shouldn't be shamed
Author	toothed_vagina
Upvotes	6
Comments	179
Date	October 17, 2025 7:09 AM UTC (9 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1o8ul29/so_if_women_are_truly_only_attracted_to_1_of_men/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/so-if-women-are-truly-only-attracted-to-1-of-men.1564309 https://theredarchive.com/post/1564309

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