CMV: The concept of "financial celibacy" is petty and unfair

Secret_Invite_4307 · 2026-01-04T08:27:27+00:00

I thought that women dressed for themselves!!!! Why should I pay for that? WTF

Lemon_gecko · 2026-01-04T07:10:57+00:00

Nobody is entitled to another’s money. So men refusing to pay for a date is petty? Maybe. But unfair? How? They don’t owe it to anyone.

DecisionPlastic9740 · 2026-01-04T06:24:46+00:00

Why should men spend money when there's no guarantee of a relationship or even a second date?

Don't spend money on beauty products, men won't care.

ladybird_00 · 2026-01-04T06:04:12+00:00

How is this abusive?

Popeoath · 2026-01-04T08:05:34+00:00

"Unfair because women already have to spend so much time and money on beauty products."

Date men who don't require that.

If you still want to do it regardless of men, then that's not men's fault, and they shouldn't have to foot the bill for it.

Ego73 · 2026-01-04T06:01:07+00:00

Unfair because women already have to spend so much time and money on beauty products

I must have missed the part where the law decreeing women need to buy make up was approved.

calmly86 · 2026-01-04T06:10:38+00:00

Interesting how “it’s just money” when it’s men spending their money on women.

It’s never just money when it’s HER money on the line.

Downtown_Werewolf_44 · 2026-01-04T08:31:36+00:00

Petty because it's just money for a date - get over yourself. If you're broke just say that.

This argument doesn't work. If this is just money, then women would not be bugged about it and pay their parts. It easy to dismiss the importance of money when you're not the one spending it.

Unfair because women already have to spend so much time and money on beauty products. Making us pay for half the date is wild (not to mention the gender pay gap)

You can't have your cake and eat it to. You can't claim you want equality and pretend that a woman paying her part of the date is wild. You either want a society where men and women aim to have the same right. Or you want a traditional one when men get power and money and women get the luxury of being in the passenger seat (to the cost of WAY less freedom). I don't mind women who want the second one but you didn't strike me as a particularly traditional woman.

In a way, your post is the illustration of something all smart men know: The dating phase is a way, for woman with your mindset, to evaluate how much a man is willing to spent on your confort. Don't get me wrong, you're free to do so but I'm convinced that seeing a relationship as a shitty commercial agreement where you want to extract the most while giving the least isn't the best way to find a fulfilling relationship.

PS: Also, your post validate another thing that smart man also say for years: the whole "We are using make up or nice cloth four ourselves, not to attract men" is an obvious gaslight.

alphamaker420 · 2026-01-04T13:23:01+00:00

I think it's unfair to expect men to spend their money on a stranger, especially in this economy. It's so ironic to say "if you're broke just say that" after you just got done whining for someone to pay for you. That's broke behavior.

And the makeup thing is really ridiculous. Nobody is forcing women to spend a bag on makeup on dates. I've never worn makeup a day in my life and have no problem attracting men. Sure it helps that I'm pretty but the 90% or so of women who regularly wear makeup aren't all hideous beasts without it. If you're dating someone, they're going to see you without it eventually anyway and they likely won't dump you on the spot for seeing your bare face so whats the difference? Doesn't it bother you to date someone who you think wouldn't like your actual natural face?

A ton of women perpetuate makeup culture and spend all of this money on it and perform their femininity and then turn around and complain that men's standards for makeup are high. 1. they're not and 2. what do you expect if that's how you're presenting yourself from the jump?

I got into it with a woman on here before who was saying everyone thinks she looks tired when she doesn't wear makeup, ignoring the fact that they think that because they're not used to her face without it. It's self inflicted. Stop wearing makeup if you're spending so much on it that you can't afford to cover your own ass on a date. And stop wearing it if you're tired of being expected to fit into the current beauty standards, you're perpetuating those same beauty standards yourself by wearing makeup regularly. Self inflicted. Take the radical action in your own life if you want things to change.

Sorry for the book but I'm soooooooo tired of this "women have to wear makeup" bs because no we literally don't. If every woman stopped wearing makeup tomorrow, nothing would change except for the beauty standards. I really wish more women didn't wear it, I think then society would more readily appreciate natural beauty over the dreaded "ig face, baddie look" or whatever tf.

Throwawaypmme2 · 2026-01-04T06:05:42+00:00

Men don't care about most the beauty products women use. Women do that to themselves.

Never heard of financial celibacy as a term before, but it's clever. It does kind of make sense to hold out for the one you'll marry.

The wage gap is nonsense. Only dishonest people bring it up. It's well known that the gap ignores qualifications, field of expertise, and personal lifestyle choices.

CrispyLinettaa · 2026-01-04T09:46:59+00:00

So sick of hearing about how much money women spend getting ready for a date, and how that translates into the man having to pay. Do you know how much money a guy spends becoming the kind of man who you consider showing up for? The education, the clothes, house, car, and physique. All these things he has to have sorted out before you would even consider him for a relationship.

By your logic you should be paying for HIS meal. The cosmetics and the clothes? Come the fuck on. You do that stuff for yourself. Your nails were already done. The makeup and clothes you already had and will definitely be using over and over for multiple guys. This is such a stupid argument. It makes no sense.

Women argue all the time that they do these things for themselves when they justify going out clubbing while in relationships or when they are trying to argue that men in clubs should leave them alone, because they aren't dressing up for men. But all of a sudden when you're single you are doing it all for men's benefit?

HighlightDowntown966 · 2026-01-04T06:10:52+00:00

There is no gender pay Gap. Every job I ever had, women got paid the same as me.

There's probably a gender pay Gap in the top 0.3% of ceo jobs in an Air conditioned office where you can play dress up everyday. But then again that leaves out a lot of men too that are outside of the 0.3%.

2nd of all. What's wrong with going 50/50 on dates?? Its 2025. Both men and women work. We live in an equal world.

DriverInitial8305 · 2026-01-04T06:12:25+00:00

How is it petty? Just don’t date those guys. Men learn at an early age to go where we’re liked.

PrecisionHat · 2026-01-04T07:58:44+00:00

It’s not unfair, and it’s more strange than petty. Like, that attitude just cannot be helpful, I agree with you there. However, a much better practice for men would be to still pay for the first date — but to only go for a drink on the first date (alcoholic or coffee). Spending 1.5 hours and potentially like $100 dollars on a dinner date with someone you don’t even know you’ll like is the issue here. If a woman demands a dinner date then she’s the one being unreasonable, and you should just move on. That’s my 2 cents on this.

alchemicore · 2026-01-04T09:05:22+00:00

Why do you want random men to spend money on you? Are you an escort?

Wide-Illustrator2906 · 2026-01-04T09:34:11+00:00

Being financially celibate is best way for guys to find out who's really into them. Like I always say, if a woman really wants to be with you, your presence is enough.

3ONEthree · 2026-01-04T06:02:47+00:00

You’re not entitled to anything, and yes it’s for marriage only when you have proven yourself to be a genuine compatible partner

You’re spending money on yourself regardless, what a stupid argument. The guy is also spending money on himself dressing up, getting a good cut. Sounds like a gold digger who is deflecting from that fact, quit being entitled and start contributing otherwise stay single and save us your selfishness.

Windmill_flowers · 2026-01-04T06:13:46+00:00

Why do you have to spend money on beauty products for a man? I have never done that in my life. Additionally, men have no obligation to pay for dates. Ever. Full stop. No one is obligated to get dressed up for or spend money on anyone else.

However, men who make posts about "financial celibacy" sound pretty pathetic. Just date women who want equal relationships. If those men are seeking out women who spend a shit ton of money on beauty and personal care in order to appeal to the male gaze, than they should expect to pay. Women like that want men who pay for dates. It's not that hard to understand. If those men are not interested in untraditional women and equalitarian relationships, than they truly have no reason to complain. They are fucking themselves over with their poor standards and lifestyle choices.

ARX7 · 2026-01-04T06:17:37+00:00

Making us pay for half the date is wild (not to mention the gender pay gap)

Prior to childbirth women out-earn men, so the gender pay gap swings the other way.

Throwawaypmme2 · 2026-01-04T07:59:27+00:00

I mean, I dont think thats a terrible idea all things considered. Women have jobs and everything, there's no reason I personally should be funding her and I going out when I can have the conversation to split or pay fully switching off. If she doesn't agree, then she's probably a little too much maintenance for me

PrecisionHat · 2026-01-04T13:31:47+00:00

I think it's ironic that your post reeks of such entitlement given you are basically saying "it's only money". If that's the case, why are you allergic to spending it on dates? Nobody cares about your beauty regime or what you spend on it. Most guys don't even think about that unless you are literally a hag without layers and layers of makeup. A date is a shared experience. It makes sense for both partners to pay for it. Your makeup argument is like saying a woman ought to pay for dates because the guy drives a nice car or has a nice watch or shit like that.

Emotional_Meal748 · 2026-01-04T14:54:28+00:00

I think it’s a genius idea. All this money is yours if you convince me that you are worth a marriage. If I’m spending a few hundred dollars on you for a date, that means I think you’re only worth a fuck.

Prize_Willow_5325 · 2026-01-05T17:16:36+00:00

I don't use tiktok or much social media and have not heard this term before, but I guess it applies to my view of dating. I cover all the costs in dating but only date woman who have the potential to be my marriage partner.

Not broke either as I'm a top 10% and will be that or higher for the rest of my life. Also, in my view I should save my money for whoever I marry since if I do end up married whoever I'm with will also be able to share in the wealth I've grown through investing and prudent financial decisions, one of them being not spending money on women who wouldn't be my wife.

mashedturnip · 2026-01-04T07:03:10+00:00

If it’s irrelevant, it is irrelevant

Your personal TikTok feed is not relevance

2026-01-04T08:55:36+00:00

They're calling it being financially celibate and its both petty and unfair.

You are as entitled to our income as we are to your body.

Petty because it's just money for a date

Very easy to say "it's just money" when it isn't yours.

Let me Barney this down for you: when we pay money for dates we don't look at it as "just money" - We see the hours that we put in to get said money and the lost opportunity cost that wasted (yes, wasted) money represents.

get over yourself.

Says the woman arguing for free shit.

If you're broke just say that.

As someone who's not broke I still don't relish the idea of wasting money on someone who doesn't appreciate it. Again, opportunity cost. Every dollar I waste on a woman who's not worth it is a dollar I could have put towards my own interests.

Unfair because women already have to spend so much time and money on beauty products.

I thought y'all wear makeup for yourselves, Queens.

Making us pay for half the date is wild.

If you're broke, just say that.

ChuckXZ_ · 2026-01-04T12:26:31+00:00

I don’t get why people try to gaslight and call the other person broke for not wanting to pay. Imo it’s not about being broke but rather seeing if there’s mutual interest. If you paying for a date(especially a cheap one like coffee) is a prerequisite for her dating you, she was never interested in the first place. If a woman actually finds you attractive and wants to spend time with you, she’ll have no qualms paying for her own stuff on a date.

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Reasonable_Mouse789 · 2026-01-04T06:30:13+00:00

I’d love to go out with someone I’m attracted to for free. Why would I have anything against this

HighSchoolMoose · 2026-01-04T06:53:29+00:00

On the one hand, as you explained it, “financial celibacy” sounds pretentious and in practical. Do people following this internet trend never buy gifts for the person they’re dating? Do you just guess how the financial stuff will work after you get married? But I think it’s completely reasonable for dates to be split about 50-50. Or take turns, or have one person pay for food and another person pay for events. Women don’t have to spend more money or time on beauty products than men, they choose to. There was a time where it was a societal expectation that women wear makeup, but it no longer is. And young women tend to outearn young men.

Prior-Impression-871 · 2026-01-04T07:48:29+00:00

I don't know about all that. But the concept of financial celibacy should imply a man will eventually start spending money on his wife?

And I just gotta laugh. There is no way the man doesn't get used to not doing that. If you don't get those flowers and a date during the courting stage, you're never getting those flowers and a date girl!

Men are free to be "financially celibate" but women should at least be aware what it means, and it's not what the name implies

PuzzleheadedGrab8375 · 2026-01-04T13:32:07+00:00

Nobody has to spend anything on beauty products. If you’re broke because you bought to much mascara, just say that.

If you can’t pull a men without smearing a fortune in your face, well, sad for you. But that’s really not my problem. Maybe just buy less makeup if you can’t afford to go on dates otherwise. It’s pretty straight forward.

Should women pay the bill if the dude wears a rolex? He clearly spent so much to impress his date, it would be wild to make him pay his half right?

Maleficent-Remote580 · 2026-01-04T13:47:49+00:00

I am broke.

Now what?

John_Oakman · 2026-01-04T15:28:06+00:00

Social legitimacy (which is implicitly assumed from a woman's presence) is only valuable for those males who seek it (and they seek it as a means to an end, rather than an end to itself). Men who does not care for such social legitimacy will obviously not pay for it.

Appeals to morality only matters so far as there is a society robust enough to apply social pressures to its component members, which modern societies in Euro-Atlantic democracies for the most part lack.

jorts-enthusiast · 2026-01-04T17:30:15+00:00

Meh I think it’s petty and stupid, but let men do it if they want. I’d love to see how successful they are in keeping girls around while practicing “financial celibacy”

SauceyQ0369 · 2026-01-04T18:46:41+00:00

I don’t care about how much I “spend” on looking good lol I’m doing that whether I’m dating or not. What I do care about is someone’s character. I’m a generous person, and I’ve dated a fucking miser. Never again. We are fundamentally incompatible if you bring this mentality to dating.

But I really don’t care what a bunch of broke or miserly fucks do. Let them eliminate themselves from the dating pool with poor behavior.

fakingandnotmakingit · 2026-01-04T23:50:00+00:00

No it isn't.

You aren't entitled to someone paying for your dinner

And don't wear make up if you're going to hold it over their heads. Make up isn't even that expensive unless you want it to be.

ResponsibilityAny217 · 2026-01-05T04:58:46+00:00

I think your view sounds stupid and doesn't make any sense.

Unfair because women already have to spend so much time and money on beauty products. Making us pay for half the date is wild (not to mention the gender pay gap)

Just don't do that. If u want to exchange your time for money get a Job. It will work out better for you in the long run

Y are u focusing on men's money? Just get a job then you'll have way more money than begging some guy for money or begging for food/meals ?!?!

Don't go on dates if u don't have money, u should focus on getting money if u don't have money.

Getting money will be way better for you than almost any date a guy takes u out on.

U could go on a date with a guy and get something the value of $20 for (2 hours) or less or go to work and make $15/hr (McDonald's) your up $30.

If u want money go for better sources of money than dating men.

aslfingerspell · 2026-01-04T06:09:26+00:00

I wouldn't say it's abusive, at least from your description, but I would say it's petty. Even if a guy would be shelling out $200 every date for a steak dinner or something, it's not even close to cohabitation level expenses like a mortgage, utilities, insurance, and whatever someone would spend on even a single child since a lot of people get married to have kids.

Honestly I wouldn't put too much stock into whatever this trend is. It just feels like a revenge fantasy for me. Even the name seems weird. Calling it "financial celibacy" seems to imply that paying for someone is inherently sexual, and that never felt right with me. I like to keep money and sex separate, because I don't like even the possibility of ulterior motives or dependence, or someone feeling pressured.

Title	CMV: The concept of "financial celibacy" is petty and unfair
Author	Windmill_flowers
Upvotes	0
Comments	112
Date	January 4, 2026 5:56 AM UTC (6 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1q3i3hc/cmv_the_concept_of_financial_celibacy_is_petty/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/cmv-the-concept-of-financial-celibacy-is-petty-and.1570368 https://theredarchive.com/post/1570368

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