Experience is the most important

wtknight · 2026-03-20T21:24:54+00:00

Removed. No posts about body count.

ComfortableJeans · 2026-03-20T17:47:39+00:00

Honestly, experience seems mostly like scaremongering on the internet.

I remember when I was younger, people used to talk about a woman orgasaming like it was something akin to solving a rubix cube, in the dark, while trying to find your way through a hall of mirrors.

Keep in mind, I'm only having sex with women I've formed a bond with, and have entered into a relationship with, so there's a great deal of per-established comfort, safety and trust with one another that was built over time.

Sex means something to me. It does to a lot of people. Most people, in fact.

If we're to listen to the CDC, the median woman is having like, fours sexual partners by the age of 50. And men little more than that. Sex is still a very intimate, personal thing for the majority of people. It's just the majority tend to be less vocal.

Other than my first time, it's never been that difficult.

I'm not experienced. I have very, very few partners, but lots of experience with those few partners.

Sex is pretty straight forward, it was never difficult to bring a partner to orgasm, most all of the time it just happened along the way, clitoral stimulation was very straight forward, combine that with other very intimate actions and there was never any issues.

I think we should stop this fear mongering about sex. It's a pretty easy to understand, straight forward act.

Odds are, your first time will be a bit awkward, but after that, after the nerves are gone, it's not some impossible feat. But even then, do you want to fumble through your first time with someone who loves and cares for you, or with some huffing stranger you know is having a bad time?

Don't let people fool you into thinking you need a six year PHD in fucking everything with legs-onometry to make your partner orgasm.

You don't need a million partners to know what your partner enjoys. Just listen to your partner. Our right speak to them about it if need be.

The very biggest factor I can think of? It's just your partner being into it. Having them be turned on for you and enthusiastic about having sex.

For both the low n count men and women here. Don't worry. Don't let these people trick you into panic. As long as you both trust one another, you both feel as though the other cares for you another and you're both enthusiastic, odd are that you'll end up loving sex with one another. Even if the first time is a bit unsteady.

Oh, and one weird thing.

Try to make neither of you have cold feet... Not metaphorically, but literally. Have warm feet.

In an orgasm study at the University of Groningen, half the couples were unable to make it to climax. The problem was cold feet, literally. Once warm socks were offered, the success rate shot up to 80 percent.

Rule_Number_7 · 2026-03-20T17:34:56+00:00

Teaching someone the basics of sex is a miserable experience.

Meh. There are going to be people for who that part is the attraction of it. To each their own.

Zabadoodude · 2026-03-20T17:28:45+00:00

As someone with a fair bit of experience: experience is overrated.

It only really matters the first couple times you have sex. If she's horny, enthusiastic, and eager to make you feel good, she will pick it up quick. I don't need a woman to be doing handstand in the bedroom.

The bigger issue is sexual compatibility. If a woman is still a virgin well into her 20's I would be wary of why she hasn't had sex with anyone yet. Is she asexual? Does she have religious views incompatible with my own? Does she have traumas or major hangups about sex?

oppositegeneva · 2026-03-20T17:35:08+00:00

It just comes down to wanting someone who values sex and intimacy the same way you do, I would prefer a less experienced man over a man who has sex with any woman who gives him the opportunity.

I have a lot of sexual experience with a low body count, because I like to have a lot of sex when I’m in a committed relationship

It’s not as black and white as everyone makes it out to be

My_House_on_Mars · 2026-03-20T17:24:57+00:00

I really really really hope that's the case. From all the possible reasons for wanting an inexperienced woman, being inexperienced is the only one that makes sense.

All the other possible reasons are creepy af. "I can teach her" makes my skin crawl. Gives me "I want to be in a relationship where I'm more powerful". She's vulnerable to a guy telling her "it's supposed to hurt" or something horrible like that. Screams insecurity

Purity culture teaches men women can be "used" when sex is just an action, it doesn't leave marks, we are not objects you can "use"- Probably some guys get horny with this idea ew

Wide-Illustrator2906 · 2026-03-20T18:14:57+00:00

Totally disagree, my wife was a virgin and she is way more sexual than me and I'm a really sexual person. She always wants to try new positions, places and kinks. I love that I have to keep up with her!

WebNew9978 · 2026-03-20T17:34:33+00:00

Which would make sense for a virgin man wanting to have sex with a virgin woman. You’re both are going to learn what you do and don’t like and what to lookout and remember if a next time happens.

Also how are virgin men supposed to gain experience if no woman (regardless of their body count) wants to give them that experience? You certainly can’t buy anyone’s consent. So how exactly are they supposed to get it?

Someone will say well improve yourself and keep trying until you do find someone who’ll give you that experience. But what if no woman wants to give you it? What if every woman you come across finds you too ugly and/or too weird to give you that experience? If your answer back is oh well not my problem, then you’re contributing to the red and black pill.

Environmental_Day558 · 2026-03-20T17:25:01+00:00

I don't really give af about the concept of virginity or think it's a big deal, but I don't agree with this point. Sex is a biologically hardwired action that all mammals have been doing for millions and millions of years. It's not something that you need to be taught now to do correctly, and most people who have bad experiences with sex their first times is because they're nervous and it reflects in their performance. I didn't have PIV sex until I was 26. Idk the girl's exact # of past sexual partners but I do know it was several. I never disclosed the fact that she was my first and she was non the wiser, and we ended up being fwbs and hooking up from time to time for a short period.

On another note just because a woman does have a high body count doesn't automatically mean she's going to give more effort or a better performance. She could have just laid their and starfished all of her past partners.

NiaNia-Data · 2026-03-20T17:04:24+00:00

it actually has to do with a shared experience and bonding. Sharing your first time with the loyl is something special.

Chemical-Low209 · 2026-03-20T17:18:21+00:00

But that's kinda the point. A guy with little experience is not gonna mind girls with little experience either. You mind because you have a lot more experience.

Also most guys don't need a girl to be Lana Rhoades in bed. Just be present and don't fake it.

Women ABSOLUTELY require you to be much more experienced in bed because they don't like being in the leader role and they hate to lead. Also women have low patience for guys who don't know what they are doing.

It's very different for both

Ok-Ninja-8165 · 2026-03-20T17:17:42+00:00

People significantly overestimate how much experience you actually need and underestimate how low average level is. And there's no direct dependency between how much experience you have and how good or bad you are.

Downtown_Cat_1745 · 2026-03-20T17:46:29+00:00

I think they’re just really pornsick. They fantasize about a woman who is basically an extension of themselves and lives to serve them. Either that or they want someone who will barely speak to them, perform sex acts on them, and leave.

Crazy_Kray · 2026-03-20T18:22:27+00:00

Some people were never allowed to build experience, and now they're getting clowned on for their lack of it.

MarioWilson122 · 2026-03-20T18:51:37+00:00

Not that important as a man. Of course, it can enhance the experience more, but it’s not really needed to have a good time, especially if he happens to have a high sex drive. Not knowing the basics and it affecting the experience is more on the woman’s side, since they may need more from it than what a man without experience can provide. Since it might take more work to really get them off.

Ok_Cook_3098 · 2026-03-20T17:26:32+00:00

Had a Virgin after i already had some experience

Was pretty awesome, she dosent really know what she likes and you can guide she. Was pretty awsome that after a while she basicly "got her real real first time" and she knew what she liked and how to get it.

And most important:

This "men/incels want virgin woman" is a trope from the blue pill, i unironically never saw it from an incel or rp

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competitive_mogger · 2026-03-20T19:08:34+00:00

My girlfriend just so happened to be a virgin (don't really care about experience either way), but it was actually very easy to teach her lol. I was shocked how sexually compatible we are. People act like showing a virgin the ropes is this super difficult task. Maybe it's just easier when the guy is experienced and the woman isn't.

It's some of the best sex I've ever had (especially the head). But it has less to do with her being a virgin or not, it's that we are very comfortable with each other and communicate.

I agree that it can be risky because she doesn't know what she likes yet which can affect sexual compatibility, but it's really not a big deal.

gtbreddit1 · 2026-03-20T19:14:39+00:00

I find it impossible to imagine preferring a woman who has had sex with many other men. At most I can imagine not caring either way, but preferring it has got to be some kind of cuckoldry kink.

Turbulent-Serve5777 · 2026-03-20T19:42:35+00:00

So do you also prefer women who have been with two men, where shes sucking one off and then being fucked by the other one.

I mean I've been the man in that scenario and it didn't make me want to marry a woman like that.

Shes also comparing you to all the other sensations any other guys has made her experience.

For example if you are her first, she may find your average dick quite impressive and powerful.

Will she feel the same way after having one 2-3 inches longer and wider? Doubtful. Now you've become average instead of impressive.

I don't want or need a virgin but I want a woman who has only been with men like myself and thinks of me as special and her type. I don't want to be with a "taste the rainbow" kind of girl.

Werevulvi · 2026-03-20T21:01:20+00:00

I don't think that makes a lot of sense. I mean I have quite a lot of sexual experience but I've no issue with dating virgin men. Sure I don't have any specific preference for that, but I've been with both experienced and inexperienced men, and what made it a comfortable vs uncomfortable experience wasn't his experience or lack thereof. It was his attractiveness, personality, and how he felt about me. Our chemistry, if you like.

And yeah I can enjoy "teaching" an inexperienced man about sex, that doesn't have to be creepy. It can be an enjoyable experience for both, and something I can learn new stuff from too. Because it's not like I have omniscent, god-like knowledge about sex, or anything. And if you really like the person and wanna be together for a long time, them being inexperienced isn't likely gonna last very long, if you know what I'm saying. After the first few times, it's not gonna be that different from if they hadn't been inexperienced. It's not like you need a 10 year course to learn the ins and outs of sex.

So then if we just uno reverse that gender situation, I don't get why it would be so bad and creepy for a man to enjoy sex with inexperienced/virgin women. Sure it can be, but that goes for pretty much anything. People can have creepy reasons for wanting an experienced partner too. Like for example sometimes "wanting an experienced partner" is just code word for wanting a partner who'd be up for a lot of kinks and fetish type sex, open relationship, polyamory, that kinda stuff, which is a lot to assume of someone for just having a higher body count. Imo that's kinda creepy. And I dislike men who want me for my high-ish body count only because they want a kinky woman. Because I'm about as vanilla as they come. Yeah, I tried some kinky stuff in the past, didn't like it.

Also, kinda weird you're shaming inexperienced men for wanting inexperienced women. Like they're probably the least likely to be creepy about that. They're literally on the same level. It would be weirder if inexperienced men would generally prefer experienced women specifically. I mean not necessarily a bad thing either, but that would raise some questions.

RelevantEscape4535 · 2026-03-20T21:20:14+00:00

I think most men just want women that aren’t ran through. I want a virgin rhetoric is mostly from inexperienced man who wants a girl in a similar vein

Plagueghoul_ · 2026-03-20T17:07:16+00:00

Yup!

theminxisback · 2026-03-20T17:53:22+00:00

The more experienced, the better the sex... An experienced kinkster like myself must be matched with a similar energy and style.

I do like giving a good first experience to new partners. Not required for it to be their "first time" though. That's just weird.

TempDong · 2026-03-20T18:15:55+00:00

The obsession with virgins is usually not about "how good the sex will be", except for when it's a fetish. It's about the fact that she has no past partners to influence her.

I don't care about virginity but I have a low body count myself and would never wife up a woman with a high body count. It's not a lack of ability to get sex, but because I made an active choice to avoid casual sex.

I believe that every time you have casual sex, you lower your ability to pair bond (both genders) and adding another "data point" to compare future partners against. So when you date someone with a high body count, they can't love you as much as you can and they are comparing you against an amalgamation of all their past partners best traits.

That said, any woman who is a virgin near my age is probably super religious or asexual and I wouldn't want to date them for either of those reasons. Sexual compatibility (libido, values, and preferences) is much more important than someone "being good at sex".

Virago04 · 2026-03-20T18:49:07+00:00

Eh, experience does matter for comfort and communication, but it’s not the sole determinant of sexual compatibility or enjoyment. You can be inexperienced yet attentive and eager to learn, but those are not typically the ones obsessing over virginity.

fashoclock · 2026-03-20T17:36:30+00:00

The sucky thing about being a virgin is that you're targeted by 1) Machiavellian Don Juan types who think they're entitled to one despite having an extensive history; or 2) incel-lite losers who just wanna lose their virginity for the sake of it. There's nothing wrong with being a male virgin btw, hell I'd gladly date one -- it's more the attitude that gets me.

Source: am virgin

EugeneCezanne · 2026-03-20T18:53:57+00:00

Experience isnt the most important thing. However, it is often the key to unlocking the most important things.

For example, good lovers have a high degree of self-awareness, a high degree of self-expression, a high degree of assertiveness (even if they're asserting submission), a low degree of self-conciousness, and a low degree of internal conflicts regarding sex—this is all external to characteristics like eagerness to please or even libido.

By sheer luck, anyone might have all of those qualities from day one, the same way a random 10 year old might happen to be a chess prodigy. But obviously a breadth and depth of experience makes strong play more likely.

With that in mind, you actually understate the point. The problem with inexperience isnt a lack of technical skill or short-term discomfort. It's that, having so little sense of their sexuality, little to compare to their situation, and no opportunity to grow except in ways that may suit one partner, people may simply be incompatible and not even know it.

One of the most bittersweet things I see at my age (39) in relationships are people finally getting divorced from their young relationships who have always thought sex was "overrated" or just a duty they had to perform suddenly get single, have a random hookup, and realize that sex could and should have been amazing all along.

Outside_Memory5703 · 2026-03-20T19:10:14+00:00

These guys don’t care if it’s an enjoyable experience

Title	Experience is the most important
Author	DriverInitial8305
Upvotes	10
Comments	151
Date	March 20, 2026 5:00 PM UTC (4 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1rz1upq/experience_is_the_most_important/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/experience-is-the-most-important.1575996 https://theredarchive.com/post/1575996

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