I really want 8s and 9s but I only can attract 5s and 6s

traptnreality · 2026-03-31T06:03:46+00:00

Omg this is really sad. Your first wrong is caring about what other people think! You want a 8-9-10 because of your friends..that mindset is garbage let that go, it shouldnt matter if u want someone…..and yes humble yourself please.

morphinetango · 2026-03-31T03:04:10+00:00

Sticking your dick in someone doesn't build confidence, being wanted does.

ChicoBrillo · 2026-03-31T03:30:04+00:00

I will say that my last gf was very attractive. She would be constantly flirted with everywhere we went, and she was very aware and proud of her good looks. We broke up after two years together, it was quite devastating.

Now, I am back to dating, and seeing somebody who is nearly the opposite. She doesn't get approached much or turn heads, in fact people can be quite rude to her (pretty privilege).

I gotta say, I actually enjoy the difference with dating her. She's very funny, very down to earth and mature, doesn't have the whole hot girl complex and entitlement issues...She might not be my ultimate fantasy, but she's a good time and it's peaceful.

Just saying man. You may get lucky and get with a 10 one day, but you'll probably come out the other side gutted and traumatized too. When that day comes you'll be happy to enjoy eating pizza with a chubby girl who takes care of you, fucks you, and doesn't add drama to your life

Trinidadthai · 2026-03-31T04:59:58+00:00

Level up your life.

Thierr · 2026-03-31T08:15:54+00:00

So most of your "need" for 9's seems to come from ego: "what will people think of me" - instead of "who am i attracted to". That's bullshit and not relevant. of course, dont sleep with people that you feel are not attractive.

I'm sometimes more attracted to what people would call a "6" than to what people would call a "9". I will get a boner just being close to the more "average" girl and have this feeling of like really wanting to tear her clothes off and do nasty things to her. And actually quite often, 9's dont do that for me because they often have a very stuck-up attitude. Attraction is much more complicated then just physical looks.

But yes you're right that to be with 9's, you need to be a high quality guy yourself (doesnt mean great genetic looks or rich. For me, it was being a very authentic and interesting guy through lots of therapy , and leading an interesting life because of it)

HydroliCat · 2026-03-31T07:25:55+00:00

Why do you think you deserve someone better than what you can offer yourself?

shankartz · 2026-03-31T02:51:22+00:00

We all want things. We all also have to be realistic with what we can have. It's called growing up.

zebekias · 2026-03-31T03:17:25+00:00

It takes effort but if you are willing to put the work, you can do it. You have to do everything you can to become more attractive overall, the very best version of you. There are no magic pills. Workout, develop your sense of GQ fashion, dress sharp, eat good, sleep good, do well financially, travel, have an interesting life. If you are fortunate to have a friend that is naturally good with hot girls, pay close attention to him, especially his mindset of abundance.

It’s a fun journey.

Realwoujo · 2026-03-31T10:04:55+00:00

These number ratings (5, 6, 7, 8, 9) are all in your head. You think you are "good enough" for some girls (the girls you classify as 5 and 6) and you act one way around those girls, and then you decide you are not good enough for other girls (7, 8, 9). That's why you fail around them. It is all in your head. Treat the 8s and 9s the same way you would treat the 5s and 6s.

Pbake · 2026-03-31T01:58:09+00:00

Do you want to sit at home and jerk off or actually get laid?

femboyfootsniffer_ · 2026-03-31T05:46:06+00:00

If you're attracted to girls but don't want to get with them just because you're too insecure and worried about your friends seeing you with them then you honestly just need to get a fucking grip bro 😭

keepturning1 · 2026-03-31T09:44:04+00:00

Who we attract over a period of time gives us a good indication of our own attractiveness. If the women you’ve been with are all average in your opinion, then you likely are too and need to adjust your expectations accordingly.

OkRecommendation1040 · 2026-03-31T03:11:17+00:00

I’m in the exact same situation as you rn lmk if you figure something out

xxkiriexx · 2026-03-31T06:48:12+00:00

Sounds like you’re not ready to settle with anyone really. Just date around and be upfront about not wanting to commit but if you fall for someone let go of the ego.

Grigthefirst · 2026-03-31T10:48:51+00:00

Just go with ones you have boner for, man, and forget about numbers!

Also, try cold approach instead of apps, if not already, it will eventually bump level of girls you meet a lot

CharmingRejector · 2026-03-31T11:11:31+00:00

You start low, then you work your way up.

Most likely, you give them too high importance in your mind. Once you relax, and let it flow, you'll connect much better. But you gotta take them down from the pedestal. I can't help you with specifics, you gotta figure that out for yourself. Just know that it is possible.

daphuc77 · 2026-03-31T09:43:24+00:00

Take the W whenever you can. Unless the hot 8 or 9 was a very grounded person most of them are egotistical maniac which will get old quick

nordik1 · 2026-03-31T05:25:02+00:00

These threads always attract some weird virtue signaling instead of just helping a guy date hotter women. It’s bizarre

But anyway, the issue is you’re a 5-6 and trying to date up which is always difficult as a guy unless you have money and/or status working for you. You need to max out your SMV to the best of your ability but especially looksmaxxing and having a really good online presence (IG) would help too.

If youre meeting these girls irl, doing a lot of approaching to get very comfortable in any situation can help inflate your perceived SMV too

Virtual_Ad_4817 · 2026-03-31T15:37:48+00:00

I'm not on their radar

Okay I hate to be the guy who bears the bad news all the time on this sub but I gotta tell the truth. You're NEVER gonna be on their radar until you fucking approach them dude.

No one will just "end up" on a beautiful woman's radar without approaching her. Unless you have some position of influence or leadership which is also a good option.

But approaching them is the easiest and quickest way to do it. They literally don't even respect a guy who can't do that.

After that, it's about acclimating yourself to them. Women have heightened sense of social awareness, and they're more receptive to how comfortable you are around them.

When you first approach a 9 or a 10 she will immediately sense that you are uncomfortable with her hotness level. And although there's a chance you might be in for a pleasant surprise where she takes a liking to you, she will most likely reject you.

If you're like most guys on this sub you will come back here and whine and whine about it and form some narcissistic narrative in your imagination about how you're the pariah of society while choosing to ignore the blatant opportunity that her rejection gave you.

Her rejection was not about your looks, it was entirely about your level of discomfort with her being hot and you not feeling "worthy" of her.

Once you get rejected if you are a well-adjusted human you will see it's not that bad and realize there are tons of beautiful women like her that you can practice on.

Do not become a guy who spam approaches them and never uses it as feedback to improve.

But the more comfortable and natural you get around the most beautiful women, the more you view them as a normal fucking human being who poops and farts the same way you do, and who sometimes gets diarrhea after eating mexican food just like all the rest of us. And when that finally clicks for you, the more attractive women will be available to date you.

Infinite88Library · 2026-03-31T02:04:14+00:00

Read Models by Mark Manson

1slycoyote · 2026-03-31T02:52:15+00:00

How old are you?
I suspect you never had thhe love of a good caring woman.

If you have then you know it a love that is. good from 1 to a 9 kind of woman.

Discopotatoz · 2026-03-31T02:14:34+00:00

Hoemath on YouTube/X explains this very well. Check him out. Ignore all the race baiting stuff he's doing nowadays tho

Basically, if you're pulling 5-6's but not 8-9's you're probably a 7ish. Like most guys with standards you want attractive women and you have the attitude to put in the work to do that, so definitely keep doing that no matter what. Banging girls below your usual ranking and not wanting your friends to see them is perfectly normal though. Even men who are 9-10 have that bucket of girls that they're ashamed of being seen with but they'll still fuck them because easy lays with okay looking girls that worship you has it's place for most men. Some men actually get over it and choose those for girlfriends and wives and those are probably the smart ones. Personally I could never do it bc I just can't get it up for those girls and after all my experiences in the trenches, I'm pretty addicted to crazy chick sex but I digress.

norwegiandoggo · 2026-03-31T10:13:58+00:00

To attract an 8 or 9, you have to be an 8 or 9.

Not saying lookswise (although it matters of course). But attractiveness-wise. As you know, there are many attractive qualities a man can have besides looks.

If you are 5-6 lookswise and there's not much more to be done about looks, then you have to become a 9 or 10 in some other areas so that your overall attractiveness goes up from 5-6 to 8-9.

Social skills is key.

Fortemuito · 2026-03-31T13:53:32+00:00

Honestly, money will help. That doesn't mean it has to be some sort of relationship only based on money, but it will help.

HomelessMilkman · 2026-03-31T10:03:09+00:00

You be fun, charismatic, playful, you get results; especially true for more attractive women who intimidate most men. They have more total options, less viable options.

Same as you as is everyone else, feel 'unworthy', tense, stifled, uncomfortable, resulting in having no presence or forced 'performative' presence. Self-interest.

It's blatant, a '10' is there, what happens? Guys freeze in shock, go introspective, "Where do I rank?" Start doing weird shit to 'ping' for feedback and permission that they might be 'chosen'. Why would she choose you when you look like this "O_O" and you can barely spurt out a compelling sentence?

I'm telling you the only guy she dates is the ONE guy who has no visceral reaction whatsoever. The guy that is so unbothered, unconcerned, that he's just expressive, fun, carefree, assumes positive feedback. Status.

I'll let you into a secret that these womens confidence isn't that high, it's based on everyone practically 'submitting' everywhere they go. They certainly aren't the most outgoing, expressive, carefree, show leadership, are 'functionally' confident; it's mostly assumed, projected confidence. They're usually friends with at least one woman, 'the leader', 'the guardian', who's more masculine and has those outgoing traits.

It's very doable for her to look up to you when there's a hard cap on what confidence you can derive through looks and that confidence doesn't translate to much functional ability in most cases. Just being a vaguely charismatic, fun, outgoing guy is enough to demonstrate more 'confidence' (value, status) than they have. If you show you're more functionally capable than she is, she will look up to you; though again, most guys are a pool of melted ice cream in the situations. Don't give a fuck if you're a 'well-dressed' or 'fit' mint chocolate chip stain.

V3X390 · 2026-03-31T15:30:21+00:00

Plow some chubs with rubs to get your game up. Trust me you’ll see things differently after that.

meanderingwolf · 2026-03-31T04:57:24+00:00

Those 8, 9, and 20 women see you as a 5 or 6 guy. You don’t have a shot with them. You are in the right field of play with 5 and 6 women, as you have a lot in common with them. Hopefully, your interpersonal skills and personality won’t sink you with them.

Due-Discussion-2923 · 2026-03-31T02:04:28+00:00

i dont get it, if youre attracted to them then whats the issue? Everyone wants 10s but i dont think most make it a main priority

LessWeakness · 2026-03-31T09:17:32+00:00

no such thing as a 10

dirtyhippie62 · 2026-03-31T15:13:42+00:00

This is a therapy issue, not a dick issue, my guy. Your brain is telling you that you have to pull the best when only like 10% of the population can statistically. You’re setting yourself up for failure and for a lifetime of disconnection. Go do some work on yourself first, go tackle that issue of why you have to be the best. Where did that narrative that you aren’t good enough come from? Probably your parents, my guess. If you work on that, grieve that, feel the anger at that injustice, your mind will change on its own, naturally, and set you up to pull the women you want, the women who are actually good for you. You’ll be happier. Not constantly chasing the dragon bruh

Accomplished_Egg_928 · 2026-03-31T18:04:33+00:00

The better looking girls are, the more options they have, so no need for them to show any interest. If you interact with them with no expectations whatsoever, speak to them like a normal person and flirt a little bit, then they may reciprocate or they will not. If they don't, don't linger and move on and if they do, stick around a bit, tease them and take risks in what you say to them once comfort is established. Idolizing them in your head and they will sense it by how you carry yourself and act around them, before you even you open your mouth.

Warm-Fun5226 · 2026-04-01T02:04:58+00:00

You have to improve yourself and focus on being able to approach the girls you consider out of your league. It doesn’t matter if you get rejections it’s a skill and you will see improvement if you try instead of just settling for less and not trying to get someone that you find attractive

ApocalypticBroccoli · 2026-03-31T09:06:45+00:00

Having a 5 on your arm will make it a zillion times easier to get interest from a 6.

And so on.

RProgrammerMan · 2026-03-31T05:45:13+00:00

When you get older you can date 8 and 9s but they'll have a kid, be divorced etc.

ProSurgeryAccount · 2026-03-31T08:54:43+00:00

Do you have money? If not forget about it.

FurrowBeard · 2026-03-31T20:02:56+00:00

What is happening to this sub...

hoizer · 2026-03-31T14:06:14+00:00

So this ENTIRE post is a bit of a red flag for most women.

mike2928 · 2026-03-31T14:26:00+00:00

I recently started getting a lot of attention from 8s and above. I’m becoming more aware of not really wanting to deal with all the additional bullshit. Other dudes have slept or hit on them, they seem more toxic general. They are hot and aware of it. I was briefly dating a sober chubby girl it was so damn peaceful. I regret not trying harder with her.

JureZidar · 2026-03-31T14:29:25+00:00

Improve looks-gym, hair, outfit, parfume. etc

Improve game-Emotional maturity, humor etc

improve status- money, fame, social status etc

Thats the most simple way. Whatever your increase wll also increase the results in hotter girls.

Easy_Manager3026 · 2026-03-31T15:05:34+00:00

Bro don't listen to them. 10s and little down are pretty good. They are cool and chill, they don't make me drama or anything. It is easyer said that done but still want to petty much know how that is going to happen when you are not rich? Bc if your 10s is a model, then mine you will say it would be a solid 6-7 but wait a minuite, that 10 of yours can be my 7. Think that way: if you love, then you are loved. If you hate people they will hate you and you hate your life

simmer29 · 2026-03-31T16:25:58+00:00

When I was younger I used to be hung up on only dating the hottest girls. Lots of regret there. Honestly a lot of the average girls I eventually ended up seeing were way better partners and I’d take them over the super hot girls pretty much every-time in hindsight.

Once I started seeing a bunch of different girls and got over this need to only court the hottest girl it was crazy to see how many girls started approaching me and how much easier things became with women both the average ones and the crazy hot ones.

Why do you care if your friend sees you with some girl that isn’t as conventionally attractive? If she turns you on then enjoy her and who gives a shit what everyone else thinks about it. Are you picking up girls for you or so your friends think you are cool?

I think you need to work on your confidence and realize who you date doesn’t define you/ determine your worth. If you enjoy someone’s company and they turn you on you are an idiot for not exploring that because you are hung up on what other people will think.

Competitive-Cuddling · 2026-03-31T17:12:00+00:00

You can learn just as much sexually and about game with women at your level or below. Women are women, and have the same feelings and needs.

Pro sports players have to play in smaller leagues to get the skills same goes for anything else.

Then eventually you will have learned how to socialize, and fuck like a Swiss Army knife and the opportunity will come where you will know just what to say to a baddie, and how to be the fuck of her life, and she will be wrapped around your finger not even sure how it’s possible she is so attracted to you.

Then you will realize she is not even that great, she doesn’t give nearly the kind of head that the chunky 4 Puerto Rican gave you with the 9 face. She doesn’t have the kind of orgasmic pussy that the 5 you once had either. And then you will especially realize that 9 “baddie” doesn’t have nearly the personality of the 5 you once dated and miss to this day, and you will get bored of the 9 fast, and then know exactly who you want.

An average looking girl with all the hidden skills you know are out there, with a great personality, and who is actually your equal.

Noooofun · 2026-03-31T17:50:37+00:00

Bro -

It’s not the outside that matters, sure it’s easy on the eyes, but I’ve found many of them to be incredibly shallow and stupidly obsessed with their looks and have this insane need for attention.

So yeah obviously look for both looks and personality. Personality is super important, actually the most important part.

stick_it_in_your_bum · 2026-03-31T21:09:33+00:00

Agree with a lot of sentiments in here to evaluate your partners more holistically. A partner who is a 9/10 personality and 6/10 looks is ideal. Getting along with someone is vastly more important than if they're the hottest piece of ass around.

mattak99 · 2026-03-31T21:53:45+00:00

Sounds like a 7 would be a good middle ground. Of course if you love them they’ll be a 10 right?

chi_guy8 · 2026-04-01T00:46:08+00:00

I would like a Ferrari and a pool made of unicorn bones.

WebNew9978 · 2026-04-01T06:07:33+00:00

Although you may be sad you only attract “5’s and 6’s”, remember there are men like me out there who attract no woman.

theking4mayor · 2026-04-01T07:32:51+00:00

You talk like a 12-year-old. You should be very happy if you can bag yourself a five or a six.

portemysterious · 2026-04-01T09:49:00+00:00

I think people define ratings like 7, 8, and 9 very differently.

Here’s how I think about it

5 – average

6 – above average

7 – conventionally attractive or genuinely “hot”

8 – very attractive, someone who stands out in almost any setting

9–10 – exceptionally attractive, to the point where they could gain attention, opportunities, or even a career based on looks alone

A lot of people seem to treat a 7 the way they would a 5 or 6, which skews the whole scale downward. In reality, a 7 should already be noticeably attractive, not just slightly above average.

And if we’re being honest, most guys here probably wouldn’t have consistent success dating someone who is truly a 7

Sudden_General628 · 2026-04-01T11:38:45+00:00

Tale as old as time. Eventually you’ll find the right girl. When that happens, don’t worry what your friends think. They won’t be your life partners.

Vinegar_Tits_9 · 2026-04-01T12:21:10+00:00

This whole post is just gross. My vagina just made the windows shut down noise

Helpful-Tear9597 · 2026-04-01T16:32:57+00:00

I only attract 8 and 9s but they are mostly crazy people. I want to settle down with a 6 or 7 but they act weird by putting up a lot of walls. They don't want to get hurt by a good looking guy so I understand. I'm not yet good at navigating this challenge. In life, everything comes with a unique set of problems - even when the grass is green (as they say).

Alternative-Put4373 · 2026-04-01T17:19:20+00:00

Women are not toys made for you to just see them as trials to go and hook up with. Go hire a prostitude.

EmperrorNombrero · 2026-03-31T19:18:27+00:00

At least you can get 5s and 6s. I can get like 4s maybe ...

pussydrainerdom · 2026-03-31T13:39:19+00:00

Are these numbers age?

Title	I really want 8s and 9s but I only can attract 5s and 6s
Author	Futurecollegdropout
Upvotes	71
Comments	151
Date	March 31, 2026 1:54 AM UTC (3 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1s8a8ki/i_really_want_8s_and_9s_but_i_only_can_attract_5s/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/i-really-want-8s-and-9s-but-i-only-can-attract-5s.1576793 https://theredarchive.com/post/1576793

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