How do you feel about dating a man who is only dating you because he is unable to have casual sex.

J_Milton_Jr · 2019-05-24T15:10:43+00:00

I wonder what is the reason for women to date such men.

i guess these women dont know the truth about their situation, at least i wouldn tell my GF that if im that guy...i assume they dont come up and say "yeah i cant get casual sex you know, thats why im looking for a GF"

reluctantly_red · 2019-05-24T15:08:07+00:00

what do the woman get

She gets to feel wanted, maybe?

I don’t think any girl would voluntarily be in that kind of relationship. She’d have to be unaware of that truth.

poppy_blu · 2019-05-24T16:06:51+00:00

OP makes a lot of assumptions here. mainly that I am actively looking for a relationship and not a FWB myself. If not I might not really care because aren’t I “using” him myself?

And if I know he’s using me for sex, as OP insinuates, isn’t it on my to end the relationship if that’s not what I want?

And what about women who will date a guy she’s not into and has no intention of being with LT but he’s someone to do stuff with. Mr right now. Is this any worse?

I just find it so odd that so many people here are always looking for some Machiavellian angle in what’s just really normal men and women having normal relations with each other.

ThisIsJustATr1bute · 2019-05-24T17:16:33+00:00

I would never do that. I pity women unknowingly in that scenario.

At a certain point he either gets it out of his system and/or gets over it. The thought of having a harem might be enticing or funny in a way I think I might think of my celebrity crush. I’m not leaving my man for him, but it’s just a fun thing to laugh about because I’m an adult who knows it’s not important.

A man who still thinks getting casual sex is very important in some philosophical, developmental way, is immature or a dummy.

And then of course there’s the being settled for part which is never ok. So no, I would not.

sublimemongrel · 2019-05-24T15:03:35+00:00

Sounds terrible. Wouldn’t voluntarily want to do that. The men saying this though OP I doubt they tell their girlfriends that

SmurfESmurferson · 2019-05-24T15:05:42+00:00

Would not do it

Any guy I've ever dated had other options, as I did. It made it better to know that we could both walk out the front door and get another relationship, but we intentionally chose each other

Atlas_B_Shruggin · 2019-05-24T15:24:15+00:00

best way to not have that happen is to not date men who cant have casual sex

It's not like men are telling women this, though

Realistically men do prefer more casual sex and relationships and only forgo it because a SPECIFIC woman makes them want to keep her. Again, why I prefer a man who CAN get casual sex. I want to be the one who makes him "forsake all others" when he CAN have others, not be a consolation prize for not being able to get others

Nobodykers · 2019-05-24T20:49:11+00:00

Well, this comment is going to be about me. But maybe more men are like this:

I am a fucking weirdo. I dislike people, and therefore i dislike casual sex. I want a soulmate. I want a special someone for intimacy, someone i trust and share interests with. Not some random person i barely know, but someone who i care for.

So yea, i would date someone because i am unable to have casual sex, i am unable to enjoy this thing that most men like. I want to have sex with someone who is important to me.

Orange_Paisley · 2019-05-24T16:39:02+00:00

I don't want to be with someone who only wants me because it's the only way he can get sex. I want to be with someone who wants me for me.

PaintingOfJoan · 2019-05-24T15:58:05+00:00

I guess if I like him that’s cool to me.

diffdedbed · 2019-05-24T16:14:52+00:00

It sounds like it is a second choice for them, and that they are putting up with LTR just to get sex

Pretty much. Why do you think marriages fail?

Texastentialism · 2019-05-24T16:12:55+00:00

I would feel pretty bad about it, but like atlas said it's pretty easy to avoid that by dating guys who have casual sex. I know the guys I dated had casual sex because they had casual sex with me, and because I knew them socially and knew at least a little of their history. It's not like I was specifically screening for that, but the guys I dated were normal social college-age dudes who went to parties and bars and had fun, and despite what this sub would have you believe, normal social college-aged dudes have casual sex.

EggonTurdaryen · 2019-05-24T16:24:59+00:00

Women prefer men who other women desire and therefore who have options beside her. The more options the better.

Tell me something I didn't know.

jingle_hore · 2019-05-24T19:05:50+00:00

I think that if his only goal is regular sex, it is a pretty shitty reason to lead a woman on in a relationships. If he is genuine and wants to be in a relationship, with regular sex being part of the upside, then so be it. Why would I care if he wasn't able to get laid regularly?

I'm more worried about intentions and honesty.

Pickyfornames · 2019-05-24T18:24:01+00:00

As a 23 y/o guy with 0 casual sex and 0 sex in general, reading these comments hurts. Like how the hell am I supposed to get sex, lol

87AudreyHorne · 2019-05-24T18:27:51+00:00

I wouldnt

I assume they dont say it openly to women they are dating

immaculacy · 2019-05-24T20:42:02+00:00

I would be really hurt that I was his second choice but I wouldn't care that he can't get casual sex. But yeah that would be really hard on the relationship that I'm his second choice and he's just settling. I wouldn't want to do that.

PMmeareasontolive · 2019-05-24T20:56:55+00:00

I don't read all these threads. Is that what men claim?

I could see men initially presenting as if they wanted a LTR in order to get sex.

But I couldn't see men being in a relationship just for the sex AND because they couldn't get sex otherwise...something about that doesn't compute.

classylassy28 · 2019-05-24T21:12:27+00:00

I think lots of men do this and settle it's the 80/20 rule it's usually 80% men want to have flings and casual hookups when 20% want a long-term relationship or vice versa depending on age and stage of life I'm guessing.
The funny thing is it's the same as majority of women in long-term relationships are settling as well since they couldn't get the organic alpha male we all desire. There's so many variables though that nothing is concrete. Some people never want a relationship but find such a good match that it works out and they keep it. while others want a long-lasting intimate relationship but just can't attain it and only have casual flings.

Female_urinary_maze · 2019-05-25T00:35:46+00:00

I don't see what we get out of that either, and I'm confident in my ability to attract someone who actually wants to be with me not just some guy who wants to get his dick wet.

nemma88 · 2019-05-24T15:47:47+00:00

How do you feel about dating a man who is only dating you because he is unable to have casual sex.

I don't think someone would be able to hide it for a long time... When you move past the honeymoon phase the cracks are going to show.

You know when I first started to read TRP some time ago I noticed a trend in many of the success stories. A man would come to TRP a virgin and be besotted over highschool whoever, and within weeks they were posting their 'got laid' stories. Literally the only thing they needed was to be directed to try and have casual sex, it was always far too short a time to actually learn any game or any meaningful improvement. It never occurred to them that's what they could do. Forget lifting or PUA or anything else RP, just placing themselves on the market made a difference.

Times havn't changed that much in a few years. Too many people coming into RP these days expecting large amount of casual sex for little to no effort or people too afraid to put themselves out there.

Nevidimka- · 2019-05-24T15:31:16+00:00

Next to not being attracted to them, that's the reason I never dated lower smv men. Too risky.

A high smv man that settles down wants her for her looks AND character / good mother potential. If he just wanted to fuck, he'd just do that.
A low smv man wants her for her looks but might not actually like her character or think she's a good wife and mother.

So once you lose those looks, the chance of it being over for you is higher with the latter.

wotsittoyou · 2019-05-24T20:00:32+00:00

He's a clear infidelity risk because he's going to take literally anything anyone offers him sexually then work out from there how to make the relationship situation fit with it... also what we are having is not a relationship it is a series of one night stands with each other that he is loosely connecting with a relationship narrative. I'd immediately stop fucking him as soon as I found out, unless the situation made perfect pleasurable sense from my point of view... so no heroic attempts to fit sex into my busy schedule just because he's feeling low or because he's about to go away for two weeks for work. No sex unless he gets me off first. No indulgence of making attempts at his laughable kinks that do nothing for me. And I'd start working out a plan for how I can gracefully exit the whole relationship with as little fuss as possible and with him looking to all our mutual friends fully like the reason the relationship failed.

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[deleted] · 2019-05-24T21:52:09+00:00

Id be very happy. As long as I got him, then I'm good

KikiYuyu · 2019-05-25T03:39:35+00:00

Why would I ever want to be used?

[deleted] · 2019-05-25T09:24:09+00:00

I wouldn't be with a man like that. Simple.

Another attempt of terpers with disordered mind to project their shit onto everyone else. Nothing new. Most men do not date someone long term simply because of sex. Most men aren't that fucked in the head. Most men are capable of forming deep feelings and connections. That's not them who are that disparate for sex (well some of them are of course but not many), that's you who needs therapy.

grand_tiremaster · 2019-05-26T04:09:05+00:00

Food and other spoils? Lol. Seems like many women will bendover backwards if her man buys her food.

Massgumption · 2019-05-26T07:57:20+00:00

All men can get casual sex, you can get a hooker anywhere and it isn't even that expensive plus I guarantee the actual sex is better.

pngmafia97 · 2019-05-24T15:53:33+00:00

Would never do that. My standards for men I date are much higher than the ones I casually fuck. The only scenario in which this would even happen is if he is unable to have casual sex out of his own moral principles, not out of sexual incompetence.

AstroGeek55 · 2019-05-24T18:54:32+00:00

she gets a mediocre manchild at best, an abusive asshole at worst.

i sill dont understand why are women putting up with manturds in this age.

yasee · 2019-05-24T16:02:28+00:00

I would dislike it a lot

I would not want to be with the guy if I knew that's how he felt

to answer your wondering...ment, I think most guys who feel this way play it pretty close to the chest (for exactly this reason)

cracksniffer666 · 2019-05-24T20:57:58+00:00

She gets resources and attention. I feel like women want bad attention over none at all.

Title	How do you feel about dating a man who is only dating you because he is unable to have casual sex.
Author	not_a_robot_either
Upvotes	39
Comments	270
Date	May 24, 2019 3:00 PM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/bshye4/how_do_you_feel_about_dating_a_man_who_is_only/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/how-do-you-feel-about-dating-a-man-who-is-only.255632 https://theredarchive.com/post/255632

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