Never make a man go to therapy or attend relationship counseling with you. They will only do the bare minimum needed to get you to stay. It’s a waste of time and money. Work on the assumption they will never change.

If you have to force a man into therapy or counseling, your relationship is already doomed. IDGAF if you have children, GTFO.

They might agree to the hour session a week after months of you begging, but they won’t be participating in good faith. You’ll have to give ultimatums again to read the books, do the exercises, and use the tools taught.

Someone who didn’t even think they needed to be there to begin with is not going to be an enthusiastic participant. They’re just doing the absolute bare minimum to get you to stay so they don’t lose whatever they get out of you.

Once you begin your journey of self healing, your ability to be self aware, take feedback, notice and then break harmful patterns, and be empathetic will make your partner seem like a toddler where you once saw a man. You will no longer respect or admire him and he will be able to tell.

He will self sabotage, fold under the pressure, and sit around and wait for you to leave him, all while you’re desperately analyzing the situation and trying to save it. He will say whatever it takes to get you to stay. Do not look at his words, look at his actions.

Do not waste thousands of dollars and years of your life working on the assumption that therapy and counseling always works. It will not work for someone who hasn’t hit emotional rock bottom and who doesn’t see they are the source of their own problems, not you or their boss or their family or the world that is out to get them. Some people never get there.

Save the money and time. Spare yourself the heartache. Go to the gym. Take a trip. Pour all that effort into yourself, your career, your friends, your hobbies, and possibly your children.