CMV: Girls will only date a guy better than them

Littleknownfacts · 2017-03-28T22:30:43+00:00

I like /u/cxj 's explanation of the phenomenon. Where a guy only needs to be better than her in the areas that she values, a religious woman would fall for her priest, a nerdy woman for the captain of the chess team, an avid skier for her instructor.

More info here:

https://www.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/40eaxz/my_take_on_hypergamy_the_8020_rule_as_well_as/

writingtoc · 2017-03-28T23:25:29+00:00

OK I got some thinkings on this.

Girls only want guys "better" than them.

Yeah, this is what I hear re: hypergamy. And to your credit, later in the post you do bring up feminine traits and how you would like a woman to be 'better' than you at those feminine traits. But that sort of raises the question, if a given woman is better than a given man at woman-ing and a man is better than a woman at man-ing, and these two are in a relationship, how, exactly, is he 'better' than her in some overarching sense?

-guy must make more money -guy should have more status/career -guy should be more "dominant" than them -guy should be able to handle more stress and bullshit -guy should be able to protect and provide -guy should be stronger -etc.....

Guy must make more money - OK. For some women, yes, this is a thing. It isn't for me - for me I just care about whether or not he's able to support himself - but I accept that there are women out there for whom this is a necessity.

Higher status/career - I never really know what to think of this - what does it mean? Higher social status? Just making more $$? Might be an outlier here but I don't care a lot about what a man does (and if I do, it's definitely not in the way TRP characterizes it - I would much prefer a blue collar man who was around to a white collar workaholic pulling a huge salary and being constantly distracted/never around), but sure, some women do.

Handling stress and bullshit? That he has to be better than her? Nah. This is a threshold thing, imo. He has to be able to handle stress and bullshit. He doesn't have to be specifically better at it. Women just want men who can handle their shit without melting down/spiraling (and men tend to want women like this, too).

Provide? This is what higher salary/higher status is about, right? And sure, some women want this - some men do, too. But if a woman can provide for herself, she doesn't really need this in a guy. Like I said, for me, ability to provide for me isn't a thing, I don't care. I only care that he's an adult who can provide for himself.

Protection and strength? Yeah, those things are attractive. I probably wouldn't be attracted to a man who was physically weaker than me, who had less ability to protect me than I do.

But again, aren't these things just generally 'man-ing' vs 'woman-ing'? Doesn't this boil down to 'women want masculine men and men want feminine women'? Because men want women who are better than them at: nurturing, keeping and running a home, a certain sweetness of character, domesticity in general, mothering etc.

And it's funny how all these traditional gender signals don't really point to a specific personality, either. All sorts of men can meet or not meet those bars. All sorts of women can meet or not meet those bars.

Girls are repulsed by taking care of a guy, or being an emotional rock in a relationship.

I disagree with this and think this is about a threshold, too. Women are repulsed by taking care of men they're not attracted to. Once a woman loves a man, she is all about taking care of him. The exact same behaviour in a man can elicit very different responses in me based on how I feel about him.

Women can say we are exact equals, yet any relationship that tips more than 49-50% towards the woman's side will literally fall apart.

Be careful with the 'exact equals' talk - it doesn't mean 'exactly the same' - nor does it, in my experience, mean 'we literally divide every physical, mental and emotional task down a straight 50-50 line in this relationship'. It usually means that both parties make an effort, in their way, to support the relationship.

yet any relationship that tips more than 49-50% towards the woman's side will literally fall apart.

Naw, it's the same for men, too. If your girlfriend or wife just stopped giving a shit about being pretty/sexy for you and gained 50lbs/took to wearing dirty t-shirts and sweats all the time, if she just decided to stop taking care of the kids and go out partying every night, the vast majority of men would end the relationship if she didn't change her ways.

EliteSpartanRanger · 2017-03-28T23:02:51+00:00

People aren't measured as "this person is better than that person" only that they're better in one trait or another.

LSTW1234 · 2017-03-28T23:17:23+00:00

Doesn't the whole concept of "Alpha Fux Beta Bux" contradict this? As in, there is a legitimate phenomenon of women "settling" out of desperation?

ArthurMacArthur · 2017-03-28T23:19:24+00:00

Let me guess. You are a xSxx.

By "better", I don't mean their inherent Value as a human, as only God or whatever dictates that, but more so better in the arenas of the external world life,

Nope. I get to decide how I want a guy to be "better" than me. And, in fact, I have.

Averagegirl101 · 2017-03-29T00:46:26+00:00

Not a girl with low self esteem! Which is a lot of girls!

angels_fan · 2017-03-29T05:18:40+00:00

You're completely missing the x-factor. Who knows why the fuck some people are wildly attracted to other people that, on paper, they shouldn't be attracted to.

I can think of 3 girls that were nothing to look at. Most other guys would probably find them rather plain. But my God... The magnetism these girl had over me was insane! I can't explain it.

I think there are millions of couples that don't match, but for whatever reason, this x factor has overridden any objective measure of where the man stands in the pecking order of men.

Lyanina · 2017-03-29T06:50:30+00:00

Posts like this always make me wonder how the people I've dated are "better" than me, or how my friend's boyfriends are "better" than them. Whatever it is, I'm not seeing it. We were pretty well-matched. How would it work if people didn't end up with their RMV equivalent?

Few people date people who are better than them in every way. A woman dating a man with more "status" (?) might be hotter than him. (lol at Jay Z being better than Beyonce...)

experience and observation has shown me that when a guy is going through a down and out period, most women won't stick by his side

I can understand willfully believing that women are hypergamous sluts who will get their comeuppance when they hit the Wall, but I will never understand that people actually choose to believe this. It sounds so sad and seems blatantly untrue. No one wants a partner who's constantly depressed and whose life is a mess, but committed people don't leave their SO over a difficult "period".

Trump4GodEmperor · 2017-03-29T11:33:57+00:00

Girls will only date a guy that they Perceive as better than them.

Thats the difference, get a girl with low enough self-esteem and she will get with guys lower than herself.

solarlexus · 2017-03-29T12:15:16+00:00

Girls are repulsed by taking care of a guy, or being an emotional rock in a relationship. The minute a guy shows consistent weakness, he is done. I'm not saying vulnerability is bad, however despite what people say, experience and observation has shown me that when a guy is going through a down and out period, most women won't stick by his side .(sometimes they don't deserve to bc the guy is a bum, but I'm referring more to a guy who is going through the trial of fire of life and finding as he struggles , his support system actually gets weaker )

I actually see tons of posts on r/Relationships where a woman is complaining about financially supporting an unemployed man who isn't interested in finding a job or helping around the house, and rarely see the opposite situation on that forum. It does happen, although maybe more prevalent on Reddit because of the type of women and men who use Reddit vs less nerdy hobbies.

IamTheWalkingMenu · 2017-03-28T22:46:39+00:00

guy should be more "dominant" than them

True.

Who says we are exact equals. I don't want to be some guy's equal. I want him to be the guy. The rest of the stuff you said: here's your eye roll 🙄

OncleJulian · 2017-03-28T23:03:53+00:00

Pretty much. Girls need a guy to be at least 3 points in the SMV better than them for casual sex, and they need a man to be at least 2 points higher in the SMP + plus have a job as a banker or lawyer before they consider dating him.

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Justapasserby557 · 2017-03-28T23:44:25+00:00

I've said this before in similar threads to this, but I really think it's more that women prefer to be with their equals OR better in areas they value. As in, if I consider myself an ambitious, hard-working woman, signs of laziness or lack of ambition are going to repulse me.

My fiance is the same age as me, makes less money, and is less successful in the sense that I was promoted higher in my job than he was in his job and my work is more recognized at my company. But these kinds of details really don't matter to me, because what I love about him is that he's willing to work just as hard if not harder than I am, he's just as kind and considerate of other people as I am, and he presents himself well in social situations. In other words, we make a good team! I'd rather have a life partner I can count on than a trophy.

rulenumber303 · 2017-03-28T23:52:43+00:00

Curious on thoughts,

You have to be more fun for me than my own hand or I'm not going to bother. How you do this is less important than that you do this.

the4thwave · 2017-03-29T01:28:13+00:00

[deleted] · 2017-03-29T02:18:13+00:00

Hrmmmm, I think women can't love a guy less than them, I think women date guys less than them all the time.

[deleted] · 2017-03-29T04:36:33+00:00

The OP is right, but this is more so true in America. Women don't just want you to make more money, they want you to be better looking than them and have more prestige as well.

In other countries the female instinct to try and date up isn't nearly as strong, probably because the men refuse to oblige them.

fetchyminx · 2017-03-29T05:48:17+00:00

Okay and is this supposed to be a negative post?

dylanrockz2002 · 2017-03-29T17:17:19+00:00

thats not true mate my mate at school declan is a well shit and he isnt even fit and he has at least two girlfriends in my school alone (he also said he boned my mum but that's prob not true my mum is dating a dentist called Nigel who is a decent bloke). anyway like i was saying tons of fit birds in my school still date blokes who aren't so fit, declan says he does it because he's the maddest in school and makes well good jokes like "suck these bollocks" (I invented that joke in year 9 and it's why i hate him) but anyway they seem to like blokes who are clever and that

wholesomedude · 2017-03-30T11:27:41+00:00

Not really. In terms of physical attractiveness, it's women who date down far more frequently.

ClarityofDisaster · 2017-03-30T18:29:45+00:00

Curious on thoughts, counter examples, and peoples experience with this.

Why bother going into the details of how my LTR is the opposite of what you claim, OP? I'm just going to be dismissed as an "outlier" who doesn't matter because "99.99999%" of all other females are like that.

Title	CMV: Girls will only date a guy better than them
Author	redpill-account
Upvotes	15
Comments	273
Date	March 28, 2017 10:20 PM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/622o32/cmv_girls_will_only_date_a_guy_better_than_them/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/cmv-girls-will-only-date-a-guy-better-than-them.269220 https://theredarchive.com/post/269220

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