Should stay at home wives do all of the housework? I think husbands should never agree to be sole breadwinners for women that don't.

buartha · 2019-09-29T02:59:10+00:00

I think SAHPs should generally do most of the the housework on weekdays when the spouse is working, and take care of the kids when they wake up on weeknights so the spouse can be rested for work. That said, it's perfectly reasonable for the husband to pitch in on at least one of the weekend days to give her a break, especially if there are little kids. He gets a break from his work, why shouldn't she get a break from hers? It's not sangria and relaxation, it's gross, tiring and frustrating a lot of the time, and not giving her time off for the entire childhood of the kids sounds like a recipe for burn out and resentment.

[deleted] · 2019-09-29T01:33:01+00:00

I make good money, and i love that she is with the kids. The house is what it is, she keeps it best she can with lil kids screaming around. It’s really not an issue right now. If she wants to return to work when shes ready thats fine, if not I’m not fussed.

artemis286 · 2019-09-29T05:03:01+00:00

I think this is highly variable and has way too many factors to pin into a black and white argument. For example, I'm holding my ten week old right now, because she's whimpering in her sleep from her sore legs from her vaccines. She's had eating issues from the start, so I mostly pump around the clock to give her the benefits of breastmilk. So I have to pump, wash all pump parts and bottles, feed her, help her sleep, eat and sleep myself, and somehow manage to squeeze a shower in there. I've purposefully generated an oversupply of milk, and will be donating to other babies. She takes a very long time to eat because of her eating issues, and had to be fed a very specific way.

My husbsand works. I get up with her at night, or stayed up all night when she had her days and nights mixed up. Her care is a 24/7 job, and there is hardly time for me to shower once a week. On top of still recovering from am extremely difficult birth (I went all natural). I try to pick up things where I can, and even got a mobile pump so I can move around more while pumping, but my husband had to do most of the cleaning on the weekends.

To my husband, the benefits our baby gets from breastmilk, cosleeping, not being sleep trained, and having a warm, attentive mother with her 24/7 is way more valuable than housework that I could be doing. Despite all her struggles she's a fairly calm, happy baby, because she knows I'm near all the time. He doesn't just measure my worth and contribution to our family by the hours I clock in with childcare or homemaking. When my girl has to be fed every hour for eight hours straight through the night because she only takes small servings due to her reflux, and I'm up each and every time warmly and lovingly tending to her need without frustration, that is priceless to him and her sense of trust, attachment, and security that she will build on for the rest of her life.

But as she gets older, less needy, stronger, and more independent, I do plan to take on much more of the housework. The nice thing about being a SAHM is I can get more housework done, so hopefully instead of coming home and having to cook/clean like two working parents would, he can just spend more time with his children. And on weekends too. But as I get pregnant again, and struggle with morning sickness, SPD, and maybe prodomal labor again, I'll need more help. And as I recover with a newborn I'll need him to take the lead on housework again.

So I guess my point is that it ebbs and flows. It's not a simple, one answer equation, but a constant balancing act. I know mothers with special needs children, ones with behavioral and mental health issues, learning disabilities, and all kinds of other things. I know mothers who homeschool amazingly, garden, and make amazing homemade food. I know mothers who battled postpartum depression, anxiety, and even psychosis, or who have permanent injuries from childbearing. I know mothers who do the incredibly hard, often around the clock, work of breastfeeding till 1-2 years old for the benefit of their children.

Yes, the physical acts of cleaning, cooking, and some parts of childcare aren't complicated. And in isolation, they aren't difficult. But in real life (not as a paid caregiver, which I've done, it's completely different) when it's all happening all the same time, I think it's way too complicated to make sweeping generalizations about how families should organize their work and time. ETA my husband would personally rather come home and help with some dishes and picking up while his children got to go to a park, museum, do an art activity, go hiking, go on play dates and to playgroups, go to music or dance lessons, then be stuck in front of the TV while I did the dishes and folded his laundry. Or come home to a delightfully homemade meal from scratch with fresh bread than a pizza and a sparkling clean home. Their wellbeing, and the wellbeing of the family, is more important to him then me being an adequate maid.

Atlas_B_Shruggin · 2019-09-29T01:51:50+00:00

Couples "should" do whatever they arrange, why is it anyone elses beeswax

sadomasochrist · 2019-09-29T05:48:17+00:00

Working is more enjoyable\easier than watching kids. This was a shock to me after our first kid, but it's true. Watching kids is like being stuck with a bad customer all day.
Nothing in any sane house is "equal." You just do what you do and hope that the other person doesn't feel ripped off, and lots still feel that way even if everyone gives it their all.

This is why I am the way I am. I know this is real work and don't lie to myself like a lot of guys. Don't want to get with my program enjoy hell as a single mother.

Any man or woman that goes this alone is insane. This shit is real, real work, no joke.

Rabidstuffy · 2019-09-29T02:23:53+00:00

My SAHM wife does all the housework for the most part. I mean sometimes she's sick or needs a break and asks me for some help and I help her out. She has a broken hand and is almost seven months pregnant right now with a toddler to care for so I'm helping out more. But I've also got one of the grandparents over for a few weeks. Good to have some family.

That's our deal though. She cooks, cleans, and raises the kids and I work. Typically between 50 and 60 hours a week as well. She's gotten really good at cooking too she didn't know how to cook anything when we met. Now basically everything she makes is home made.

It's not a competition between us either we're a family. If I need to do some housework or something goes wrong and she needs to get a job that's what we'll do.

Menelly · 2019-09-29T04:05:42+00:00

Let's assume that the average kid sleeps 10-11 hours a day max. (Mine don't, but they're ADHD/Autistic and outside the norm, but let's say average toddler-early elementary schooler.) That's still 13-14 hours a day of kid+household duty, while Dad thinks he gets to clock out at 8 hours. Plus Dad gets weekends off and lunch breaks and can pee alone when he wants to. So, on the generous side of 11 hours of sleep/13 hours a day awake, 7 days a week, Mom is working 91 hours. Dad is working 40, but it's "outside the home" so it magically counts, and hers does not.

Why is this?

wekacuck · 2019-09-29T02:00:40+00:00

My wife stays home with my young kids. She's not lounging around while I'm at work. Taking care of kids and the house and cooking isn't really just an 8hrs/day task where she can put her feet up. Let alone clock in at 9 and out at 5. When I get home I'm basically joining her. It seems completely fair to me that we should be labouring roughly equally. Paid and unpaid labor are both labor.

Nodoxxintoxin · 2019-09-29T02:13:53+00:00

Depends if they have infants and toddlers in the house. Waking up a night to breastfeed, no sleep, wiping up snot, poop, puke and tears all day, and never losing your cool. That shit can be exhausting.

Very different after the kids are in school.

mandoa_sky · 2019-09-29T03:13:32+00:00

If you have kids, you should at least be a actual parent. Unless you don’t mind your kids hating you and never wanting to have anything to do with you once they’re adults.

lessabe · 2019-09-29T04:56:12+00:00

My god,

Written by someone clearly single and childless, maybe 18 yrs old...

Taking care of children has no vacation, sick days and you don’t get to “clock in” at 9 AM and clock out at 5

It’s also extremely expensive to hire a nanny, maid, chef, and assistant to run errands to do everything a SAHM does. It’s also not “his money” even when he’s the sole provider...a marriage is a partnership so it’s all money. Think of how ridiculous it would be if the SAHM was asking to be paid hourly for watching the kids? That’s how it sounds when it’s implied that “he’s funding the lifestyle” we’ll, she’s causing him to be able to effectively fund that lifestyle, otherwise he’d be throwing his money away to a nanny.

So The mom isn’t bringing in “zero money” they’re saving thousands of dollars that would be spent elsewhere. Asking a wife to watch the kids all day, then cook all meals, clean and expect zero breaks or that the husband won’t help at all is absurd. Obviously they aren’t going to do the majority of the work but if you’re choosing to bring a kid into the world you have to help parent and with the house too.

AggravatingTartlet · 2019-09-29T02:37:08+00:00

Look she is a stay at home mom. She brings in ZERO DOLLARS. Every bite of food she eats, every sangria she quells the pain of homemaking with, every piece of clothing that is on her back, is attributable to the man working. She gets to spend much more time with the child (which is I'm sure a benefit to at least a few women given muh nurturing).

She is actually bringing in a huge amount of dollars.

Because if he had to pay for someone to raise his kids, he would be up for a large amount of money. And he would likely suffer his career stalling - from lack of promotions at work due to having to take time off when the kids are sick or injured, or when he has gotten no sleep due to babies being awake all night/kids being sick.

He also needs to pay for someone to take the kids to their after-school activities and sports and stay on top of their schedules.

He also will likely face a lot of disruption due to childcare workers leaving the job or being cold to his kids and not giving them the love and attention that a mother would, and having to continually vet new ones.

erman88 · 2019-09-29T03:45:46+00:00

I agree with the overall sentiment that if you're a stay at home parent your job is to do the housework and the bread winner shouldn't be expected to do too much of the domestic stuff.

But it's not just if she can earn more money than childcare costs she goes back to work, plenty of studies show how much better kids develop when raised by a stay at home parent as opposed to childcare so even if it hurts your income a bit it's still much more beneficial to have a parent staying at home 24/7.

lovenutpancake · 2019-09-29T05:37:12+00:00

I feel bad for your future wife. Yikes!

whibbleymoondanc · 2019-09-29T02:01:05+00:00

I need to preface this entire comment with the fact that I believe two people in a relationship should make whatever decisions they want that benefits their own relationship. If a stay at home spouse decides that they do not want to do anything and the working spouse agrees, then by all means if it works for them. That being said, I feel it is completely reasonable to believe that the person who is working full-time and bringing in the financial resources to their own physical or mental effort deserves to have the stay at home spouse be responsible for the majority of domestic activities. That does not mean that the working individual is exempt from any assistance. It just means that if someone is working 40 or 50 hours a week bringing in money to pay for rent, utilities, food , And all other expenses for the household, it is moderately unreasonable to expect them to work 30 or 40 more hours doing laundry, dishes, cleaning, landscaping, household repairs, bills, childcare, and everything else required to maintain a household with a healthy and capable non working adult. My wife and I both work, me working 32-48 hours a week, and her 0-24 hours depending on the week. We have divided up some chores into exclusively hers (bill paying, painting, decorating) and exclusively mine(home repairs/maintenance, landscaping, heavy lifting) with the rest falling on both of us to varying degrees. It’s not about keeping it equal so much as doing what needs to be done.

chaddad9000 · 2019-09-29T03:27:35+00:00

My mom was a SAHM, and she and my dad had an explicit deal. The key is she always kept her RN license current, so if she thought cooking and cleaning was a bad deal she could have been back at work within a week.

It is certainly a ton of work with little kids, but the payoff is the long game. When we got to be teenagers and moved out of the house, SAHM lifestyle is EZ mode.

The worst case for men is when their wife decides to change careers to some bullshit job, like blogger or dog therapist (true stories) but she's certainly not one of those icky stepford SAHMs. All of the downsides and none of the upsides.

axiszpointa · 2019-09-29T05:49:57+00:00

That says stay at home moms, not stay at home wives. I'm single and live alone but expect everyone in my space to clean up after themselves. Maybe dont get married for a lifestyle upgrade and there won't be an issue. I guess this reveals the origin of my singleness, but why the fuck would I partner with someone who ADDS work for me? Its just weird thinking to me that a woman would be expected to partner with a man and then the result of a partnership is increased workload rather than lessening it. A man shouldnt marry and impregnate a woman who cant afford to have a kid and if he does and therefore puts her in a position of dependency the fact that he chose a partner who doesn't have her financial house in order is not an excuse for him to therefore further fuck over a woman who has proven herself to make bad decisions by burdening her with the stress of now cleaning up after you became since you were dumb enough to agree at face value to make a bad choice of who to partner with financially and think you should take it out in her when you already knew in the first place she wasn't going to bring money to the table. A womans poverty is not a fucking excuse to entrap her into maid service. If you presented yourself as a responsible person who can carry your own weight and she presented herself as the person in the relationship who is most likely to stay at home because of the financially reality that sexism makes that the most practical decision, I thinks it's a bit of a bait and switch to suddenly stop scrubbing toilets that was part of being the functional person she married.

If a woman isnt able to provide for her kids I think it's better to not have kids with her than burden her with kids she cant afford and dependence and then guilt trip her into cleaning up after you because you're so managomous. And I dont think you should have kids with a man if he doesn't clean and can't afford a maid. Kids are a pretty big commitment and I'd want to have basic cohabitation logistics covered and then some before starting on that. Maybe u could wait a decade for some stocks to mature. Maybe a decade is such a bad random number is shows I dont know what a stock being mature even means, but it def means my money/staff scenario isnt mature enough to have kids with someone I resent for being lazy.

fevertree · 2019-09-29T09:10:47+00:00

"Look she is a stay at home mom. She brings in ZERO DOLLARS. Every bite of food she eats, every sangria she quells the pain of homemaking with, every piece of clothing that is on her back, is attributable to the man working."

You assume that housework, childcare, chauffeuring people around, breastfeeding, care-taking, waking up in the night, and managing small children (which is not a 9-5 job) are all worthless. If you want a family, you should recognize the value in the work required to maintain it. I think it is reasonable to expect a stay at home parent to do more of the housework (not necessarily most) but I think it depends on how many kids there are and what stage of development they are at. When kids are in the toddler stages I think it is reasonable to relax standards on household appearance.

For the record, you sound like someone who wants a family but doesn't really want to support it. Which is possible. You can probably have a working wife if you limit the number of children you have to 1 or 2 and you space them far apart.

foreverrryounggg · 2019-09-29T10:08:10+00:00

This one comes down to simple maths: no matter how many hours you work for money (50 - 60+) the one big difference is that PAID JOBS END. Caring? That shit is never ending. Even when kids are asleep at 4:21am you’re on the hook for random hunger or nightmares or bed wetting and BOOM! the shitshow is back on. Anyone who’s looked after a toddler for one day knows that that being a “breadwinner” is a walk in the park compared to the nappy explosions, screaming meltdowns & random dashes into oncoming traffic. Parenting demands more physical & emotional stamina than any job — and any dude or lady who’s worked both inside & outside the home knows exactly which job is easier. Carers get zero cash & zero respect for a job that’s relentless, complex & super high stakes (raising another human being). The least anyone working outside the home can do is help out.

DoneBeenHadBeenDone · 2019-09-29T05:26:52+00:00

You lost me at "muh nurturing". I get your point, and don't necessarily disagree, but did you seriously just ridicule women for... being nurturing?

...and people wonder why women don't find the idea of being a SAHM respectable, or dignified, and would rather focus on careers.

ontherailstoday · 2019-09-29T03:16:44+00:00

I think you're not in charge of other men's lives and not in charge of other men's wives. You're not in charge of their lifestyle decisions. You're not in charge of their calculations about what they each bring to the table. You're not in charge of how they decide to enjoy good times or survive tough times.

Obviously people in relationships expect each other to attempt to provide value, but y'know... life and all that, if you're too rigid life might give you a circumstance that breaks you.

jonica1991 · 2019-09-29T13:19:18+00:00

I think about it this way. Some often stay at home to rear kids. Some have mental disorders. Some have kids with special needs that make working impossible. I don’t think as a man it’s loving to treat your spouse like this human being that has to cater to your every whim since you are bringing home a paycheck. Behaving like your Gods gift to your spouse because you bring home the bacon in pretty narcissistic. Treating the person you decided to marry and create human lives with like less of a human being because she isn’t bringing home a paycheck doesn’t reflect well on either gender. When you are devaluing your spouse you are also demeaning your life choices. Your slowly destroying the fabric of love you created with that person.

Every relationship is situational and often housework duties change when life throws its curveballs. I don’t think these kind of articles should get written. I always view them as shallow and whiny. However I think there is an underlying issue that feeds these articles.

I think we don’t spend time listening to how we value our partners and often devalue them when they prove to not be flawless consistently at meeting our expectations. Stay at home parents get a lot of flack in general but I’ve never met any human being that can constantly meet superhuman expectations. Even if you do bring home a paycheck you can unload the dishwasher every now and then. You didn’t date to find a house maid, so why should you treat your spouse like one.

TPastore10ViniciusG · 2019-09-29T15:12:48+00:00

My mom is a SAHM and I can tell you that for the kids such a mother is much better.

KikiYuyu · 2019-09-29T05:35:39+00:00

Another person who thinks being a stay at home mom is a breeze. People will never stop having takes like this.

Mulkvistee · 2019-09-29T06:09:08+00:00

I've never understood the end goal of trying to put a dollar amount on SAHM's because ultimately whatever works for you is priceless.

Like if my husband had cracked me on the ass and said "Listen bitch, cave hoes dropped whole litters on a pile of leaves and had the right idea being grateful for not dying. You got a hospital through insurance I paid for, how spoiled are you??! So I'm gonna need you to keep that runt alive, this whole place spotless, dinner every night, porn star sex on demand (it can be anal, I'm not totally heartless! Just keep your episiotomy stitch bitching to yourself because EW) Why are you making that face? Okay I'll settle for a throat fucking, but there better be tears! Oh and you'll need to be showered at all times because we're not animals and you bring home no money. Fair is fair now get to it!" He probably wouldn't have woken up the next morning.

Luckily men are only this insane in hypotheticals. Or online judging from what some of those women were saying. It's possible they have their own SUPER high standards they can never meet and therefore require their husband's help to get there. In that case it would seem like a communication issue where the totally unhelpful bastard husband /s could possibly redirect that manic new mom energy to chilling the f out.

I make waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay less than my husband, but my job is awesome. He totally could've gone the whole "let's quantify everything and start keeping score" route but he has a finely tuned sense of self preservation combined with not being tedious and boring. I did everything because I was home to do it for 3 months. I slept with our daughter in another room because waking up 87665 a night and having to go to work seems like hell on earth. If he needed something specific he couldn't do himself he spoke up, but otherwise if his hands weren't broken and he noticed something he just did it. He was helpful and funny, I have good memories of those times.

When he took her out and I used the time to sleep or shower that was time well spent because sanity > 5th load of spit up laundry. Having a kid is (hopefully?) a happy time, not game on for tasking each other by assuming what is owed or ratcheting up self expectations to actually insane levels during low sleep and new person upheaval.

janeaustenfan99 · 2019-09-29T02:56:34+00:00

I think it’s fair.

unicorns- · 2019-09-29T09:01:24+00:00

If someone is a stay at home wife without kids, then I feel they should do nearly 100% if he housework, unless they are hurt or unwell.

If someone is staying home and caring for young children, then they are ‘working’ quite a few hours already. I would argue that the split should be more like 75/25 in that case. It wouldn’t be fair for them to never get a day off while their spouse has two days off a week. If the wife I reluctant to be a stay at home mom but does so at the husband’s request, then he should be willing to step up even more.

rizenphoenix13 · 2019-09-29T20:44:03+00:00

My mom took me and my brother to work with her at her and my dad's storefront for years. Me from birth until kindergarten and my brother from his birth until kindergarten. She kept the house and cooked the meals, as well. Lots of today's women are weak and entitled.

Eastuss · 2019-09-30T07:54:14+00:00

I would even go further, lot of people here think that the criteria for chore repartition is how much hour you work, and not how much money you bring home.

For a long time my wife brought only 50% of what money I was bringing. If she expects 50/50 chores, then expenses are 50/50 instead of 30/70.

LotBuilder · 2019-09-29T03:47:50+00:00

In a perfect world you could let your wife stay at home and she would handle all the household duties while you were free to work your ass off and you could actually relax and do something you enjoy on the weekend.

In the real world in 2019 you end up doing half the household work and paying for a bunch of extra stuff because with her free time she likes to do stuff that costs money. Everything costs money these days. They get to redecorate, plan trips, retail therapy, fad work outs and diets, social media, etc. Out of the 30 or so stay at home moms I know there are 4 that treat it like a job and serve their family. Three are Latinas and one is Ukrainian. No sure if that’s a coincidence or not.

I had a stay at home wife pre divorce, it was a huge mistake.

Whiteliesmatter1 · 2019-09-29T13:06:09+00:00

I lived in Europe for about 6 years. In the country I lived in, both parents work full time, and SAHMs are extremely rare compared to USA. There I know a mother who worked demanding high-end tech sales jobs, took an MBA, and raised a newborn all at the same time (and did a fine job as raising the child) another who raised three very young kids from a shipping container while she helped her full time working husband build their house. Child rearing is not a full time job. If you ask my sister who is a SAHM to a 6 year old, it totally is. And it can be. If I take a week off from work, and stay home, I can find things to do around the house and can fill my day with them. Suddenly it is 5:00 and dinner needs to be put on, so I understand how it FEELS like a full-time job, but I also know that if you HAVE to go to work for 8 hours, you are always capable of getting the necessary things taken care of in the hours before and after work as well. So there is no way it is as draining as a job in the competitive market.

horusporcus · 2019-09-29T08:06:39+00:00

Hmm, I hate to point this out but I think OP vastly underappreciates "SAHW" 's invaluable contributions. She manages all the domestic work, she raises your kids and feeds you all and educates them. Quite frankly, a full time job is less taxing than these things.

It's a job for 2 + individuals, the other spouse should help in what way they can.

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Fishyinthemiddle · 2019-09-29T04:55:20+00:00

I'd much prefer to work longer hours if that meant I'd have to do less house work. But I think it's completely unreasonable to expect my partner to clean up after me, even if they aren't working.

Recently, I've been looking for work as my partner started grad school. I've been doing most of the chores, but he still helps me with cooking and dishes.

Yonderlander · 2019-09-29T06:38:34+00:00

With good communication you can work out what's fair, it varies depending in the house and children. Running a house with young kids is far more than 9-5, so while I'm happy to do most of the work while on maternity leave, I ask my SO to do a little on weekdays, maybe just get one of them washed in the morning or help with their breakfast while I have a wash, then we sort one child each at bedtime. Weekends should be closer to 50/50. Doing everything while he lies on the couch in his non work hours isn't sustainable, I've been there before, it was incredibly unfair, I NEVER stopped and I was exhausted. And my kids are quite easy, it would be worse with an autistic kid or young ones with similar ages. The evidence is in leisure time- he did loads of gaming, I could do none, so clearly it was unequal. We would have split if that carried on. Counselling helped a lot and now we communicate so well, I know, anathema to Red Pill men.

glacialcamera · 2019-09-29T07:38:59+00:00

Both of my parents worked full time, mum did housework and cooking. Dad did DIY and gardening and looked after the car and money. It worked fine for them. My DH and I work equal hours and share household work equally, that also works. He does money, shopping, cooking, car and I look after the cleaning, laundry, dishes, DIY and kids. When I go back full time, I would expect him to take over a larger share of the hw and parenting. If he decided to take full time hours instead then I will happily take over most of the home work. It's not about who does what, it's about sharing workload equally. It's best to include working hours in the division of labour either way to avoid arguments. This woman is taking the p***.

Single_gay_mom · 2019-09-29T08:39:34+00:00

Although on paper it is fair, I do believe it builds recentment not lifting a finger at home. Supporting your wife with duties at home as well as her asking about/helping you out with work will create better relationships. Not sharing duties and splitting it like you mentioned, will create isolation.

fevertree · 2019-09-29T08:46:52+00:00

Depends on how many kids, size of house, and predilection of the individuals in the relationship. Housework + kids is a 20 hour a day job. Going to work is kindof a break in retrospect.

lucky_beast · 2019-09-29T15:44:54+00:00

If it's OUR house because we both live there then it's MY money because I earn it. If I'm supposed to pitch in on our house then I'm the only one who should be spending my money.

e: Parenting should be split 50/50 however, ie dad taking responsibility for kids after work and on weekends.

[deleted] · 2019-09-29T20:52:04+00:00

Childcare sucks. No, really. Go visit a daycare sometime. Most people's kids suck. People are garbage at parenting. My daughter hated day care, got along great with the teachers and the kids loved her, would all call her name and run to her. She hated it. People do not raise and teach their kids. They just shuffle them off to daycare. Kids raised like that, suck. The kids liking her didn't help that they were all fucked up messes of little people with zero self control, mindfulness, or empathy.
Childcare is a 24/7 job alot of the time. You think working hubby is taking over with the kids when he gets home? No. Just because it's not all collected into one organized space doesn't mean that a mother doesn't work more than 40 hours a week just with childcare.
Lets face it there are lots of jobs, especially jobs that pay well but not ridiculously well, that are way way easier than child care. Being an accountant is easy af compared to raising a child. Being a mechanic is WAYYYYYY easier mentally speaking. Like, I work in trades myself and lol working on houses and cars and shit, average blue collar stuff, is ten times less stressful than raising children is.

So, no, I dont really think that providing means you get an out on housework. I think that it's an excuse men use so that they can use money as the metric, not work. Cause that's what you're here comparing. You're not talking about what jobs a guy works, how much harder he probably works. You probably know that would be bullshit to generalize about it. No you're talking about "providing her a lifestyle" like raising someone's kids for them essentially isn't doing the same damn thing. You don't value childcare as work and overvalue work that earns money as work.

Chores should be split, if for no other reason than both partners should feel responsible for their own environment and home.

decoy88 · 2019-09-29T15:28:13+00:00

From the articles. It really depends on how many kids there are. 1 kid? Manageable. But 2+ young children at the same time? Craziness (unless there’s support from extended family).

My solution would simply be to not worry about messiness so much

The person it’s really bothering should be the one to handle it, since they have the most investment.

Or just do what I do and never have kids in the first place.

Bekiala · 2019-09-29T03:39:17+00:00

Heya Mr. Going, I pretty much disagree heartily with your premise but I have to say I love that you are thinking and asking about this.

Of course one thread won't change your mind but I love the discussion you engendered and found the responses interesting. I hope you did too.

Title	Should stay at home wives do all of the housework? I think husbands should never agree to be sole breadwinners for women that don't.
Author	Goingprorogue
Upvotes	73
Comments	228
Date	September 29, 2019 1:26 AM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/daosiu/should_stay_at_home_wives_do_all_of_the_housework/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/should-stay-at-home-wives-do-all-of-the-housework.286887 https://theredarchive.com/post/286887

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