WOMEN ONLY PLEASE: do women still meet men in bars, clubs,m restaurants, activities or through friends in your universe?

ElderlyAlder · 2019-11-24T17:56:49+00:00

from YOUR perspective as young women in the world, is this still a thing?

From my perspective as a university student, it is definitely still a thing that people meet and mingle and date with fellow young people who they meet on campus, in campus-associated locations (college bar, etc), and through friend groups. It seems like the majority still, as far as I can tell.

can men still meet a woman at a bar?

Yes, in college bars at least, unsure how different things are for young professionals

or is it really all 100% online now

No. I'm the intro-est of all intros, and even I met my husband irl.

PlainSlim · 2019-11-24T17:50:28+00:00

I’ve been asked out by guys through intramural sports leagues, Uber pool, bars, friends of friends. I prefer to meet people in real life, so I’ll usually give the guy a chance even if he doesn’t immediately jump out as my type. However, I am introverted so it can be easier to default to online dating, it expands my circle when I’m not meeting new people as much as a more extraverted person may be.

SmurfESmurferson · 2019-11-24T17:46:06+00:00

I live in a college town, and I see college and immediately post-college kids meeting in bars all the time. Granted, I’m not in that age group, but it doesn’t look like anything has changed from when I was

Tomatoccino · 2019-11-24T20:00:43+00:00

From the perspective of my daughters, aged 25, 20 and 17; all potential dates are met through friends or classmates/colleagues. OLD is for boomers.

flamingoinghome · 2019-11-24T17:53:40+00:00

I am a woman under 30.

OF COURSE men can still meet women IRL. At a bar, at a party, through mutual friends, through a meetup group, etc. Of the couples I know, the majority did not meet online. It is very normal to get to talking to someone at a pub or party, maybe make out a little, exchange numbers, and then go on a date. FWIW, I recommend this as a strategy for guys who aren't photogenic--being a good conversationalist is very attractive and far more immediately evident in person.

2019-11-24T18:55:16+00:00

[deleted]

greenchairthrowaway · 2019-11-24T17:51:07+00:00

I’m married now, but I met my husband at a party (well at the bar after the themed party ended... still in costumes). I kinda knew him from around (I worked with his ex girlfriend years before and met him a few times that way), but the bar was the first time we actually took time to get to know each other.

The only other instance that wasn’t high school... When we split up for a while, I met my ex boyfriend at college. He ended up being crazy and it fucked a lot of things up for me... would not recommend dating a classmate.

Going back 5-8ish years, I met boys in my universe. I just preferred meeting people organically vs online. It would feel like there was less expectation and pressure to match the personna one gave off while online, you know?

This seems to be the norm for the young women around me, but we live in a small town so it makes things easier. People date people they’ve known since kindergarten, or who know their family. Everyone is connected to someone somehow. YMMV in a city.

PS. I’m 25.

lilacluna548 · 2019-11-24T18:18:55+00:00

Yes. I'm in college and I met my ex through a class we had together. I have friends who are dating/have dated guys they met in bars, in extracurriculars they did together, from friend groups, etc.

CatchPhraze · 2019-11-24T18:20:43+00:00

I don't much like bars and clubs anymore but when I did ( I'm closer to 30 then 25 now.) I met men and women through them.

I'd say it's not the main option like in your hayday Atlas but still a viable one.

the-red_woman · 2019-11-24T18:40:05+00:00

Most definitely still a thing speaking as a 24f. I meet guys everywhere and always make sure to be open and friendly. If I fancy them at all I’ll also flirt and see what happens. They are very receptive and aware of it too. However I also have a tinder account and have met men off there.

MaryContrary1999 · 2019-11-24T19:10:46+00:00

Most of my friends from college (if the have an SO) met them through friends, family, in class, at parties, etc.

I'm 21, but an increasing number have met their SO through online dating

ohheyhi99 · 2019-11-24T19:34:56+00:00

for casual/nsa sex i almost exclusively meet men at bars

friday night my friends and i went out and one of them left with a boy who approached our group. another girl swapped numbers with a guy and then he came out with us saturday. this is pretty standard/normal for my girl friends

i mean if you just go to bars/clubs and look around ppl are blatantly connecting with each other so anyone who says this kind of stuff just doesn't go out lol

CamoWoobie420 · 2019-11-24T17:53:38+00:00

All types of men ask me out, although its not a huge number.

The men who think it doesn't think that most men wouldn't dare, and that women who claim it does happen are humblebragging.

I've had women tell me it never happens though...

goatismycopilot · 2019-11-24T17:51:54+00:00

Speaking as an old boomer the last two people I dated were from IRL online dating is too trashy and time consuming and I can meeting average looking guys on my own if I feel like it.

ItWasBrokenAlready · 2019-11-24T17:57:57+00:00

Yeah, it's default. I'm 30 but my social circle consists of many 20-30 y.o. people, with quite a few on a younger side (20-23). Almost all people meet through mutual hobby, friends of friends or parties. There's one recently married couple who met on tinder, but that's all. I can have a bias because I only see couples stable enough to introduce to aquaintances, so maybe they're secretely meeting internet randos, but fail or stay at fwb&never see my friends level.

Bright_Itempas · 2019-11-24T18:01:08+00:00

I'm exactly 30, so take this however you want.

I have never met men in bars and clubs, cause these spaces are typically for people looking for ONS, and I don't do that. I typically have met men through activities (hobbies, mostly), social events hosted by friends, and on occasion, just generally out in the universe: public transit (long commute), airplane, a farmer's market, a long hike, etc.

Edit: Most of my women friends prefer to meet out in the world, too. Tinder is gratifying when lying in bed, bored, or when you don't want to go out and socialize, but most women in my friend circles (24-34) are all about the IRL meeting.

findingfemininity · 2019-11-24T18:41:50+00:00

I'm 26F but and last time I was single (early 20s) I definitely still got asked out at places like house parties, bars, etc. I would say the vast majority of my social circle (mostly around my age) met their SOs irl. I'm actually an outlier in that my fiance and I met online. But even then we're the first "online relationship" for each other. His last serious relationship was a woman he'd known since they were litte kids and my last two serious ones were a friend of a friend and a co worker, respectively.

Online relationships are more common these days (something like 40% met their SOs online iirc) but saying people never meet irl at all is not true. I think the men who think that are probably very introverted and socially awkward.

andipandey · 2019-11-24T19:27:33+00:00

26F. Occasionally I meet guys through social circles, and I do get approached by men at bars, but I live in a college town so most of these guys are much younger than me and I’m not interested. I’d say the bulk of men I’ve dated I met through an app or Instagram, and that’s true of almost all of my friends as well

PennnyLame · 2019-11-24T21:59:57+00:00

My 20 something nieces refuse to get Tinder because they say it’s “embarrassing.” They have met their bf’s through school or friends.

jalapenopancakes · 2019-11-24T22:58:48+00:00

Yes. I’m a millennial and I met my husband irl.

Most of my female friends met their husbands or boyfriends IRL too. I met mine because of my job, but others I know met through mutual friends, activities, meeting at a friends party, etc.

It’s the most low key and comfortable way to meet someone imo. There’s no expectation to drop your pants for someone you met at a grocery store like there is for for OLD.

LifterofThings · 2019-11-25T15:30:40+00:00

All of my SO's young employees (early 20s) met their girlfriends irl at parties or through friends or by just approaching on the street. They're all extros tho with good social skills.

Erens_rock_hard_abs · 2019-11-25T16:35:20+00:00

There is no doubt a nonzero number of female individuals that does so, yes.

What answer are you really looking for? Is your question satisfied as "yes" if this nonzero number is 1?

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Dora_Bowl · 2019-11-24T17:51:56+00:00

Most people I know meet though mutual friends, at my school or through church.

slavicgypsygirl · 2019-11-24T18:17:53+00:00

I do & so do other girls I know & work with

red_matrix · 2019-11-24T19:53:03+00:00

Most women on reddit will say they NEVER want to be approached in public unless it's at a bar or party. OLD might be their only option.

sunsetsandnicotine · 2019-11-24T20:09:10+00:00

i dont personally, but i have coworkers and friends who do, especially in the 19-21 age range because theyre still in college. im 24 and dont go out a lot anymore or if i do my roommate comes along and hes a guy so i imagine people just assume somethings there when it isnt, and i understand that. something like a bar or club i dont think id talk to a stranger much but activities through the meet up app absolutely and things of that nature.

6002Dani · 2019-11-24T20:14:46+00:00

I’ve met guys at bars and clubs l, even exchanged numbers but I can’t say I’ve ever followed up and met them in an outside setting.

I’ve met a guy or two off tinder (super rare), but usually it’s through friends, work, school or sometimes acquaintances of my siblings.

Maybelowsmv · 2019-11-24T20:23:19+00:00

Can women still meet men in bars/clubs? Yes. I think the latter was faster though. I left early cos I felt anxious, but my two friends who stayed behind got approached by men who asked for their numbers and insta. The bar/pub whatever I went to a few times was really relaxed and people kept to themselves there. But I have also heard stories of guys making their moves there

Restaurants? Not in England, methinks

Activities? Yes. I mean, I managed to wind up being flirted with by a guy from a mosque and also some guys at the library back when I was in my teens and was there a lot

Through friends? Definitely. Social groups are important. You can meet a whole new group of friends just from one person etc

asperges_me_domine · 2019-11-24T20:29:52+00:00

I've never met a boyfriend or potential romantic prospect through a dating app or from a cold encounter without at least one acquaintance in common. My exes (not that I have many) were people I met from class or work, or was introduced to by a friend. I met my current SO at a party being thrown by mutual friends, and now we're set to get married next summer. For reference, I'm 25.

i_have_a_semicolon · 2019-11-24T21:31:49+00:00

Yeah totally. Even after college. Some places of work are like college if it's young people. Going out to drink and getting into relationships with your coworkers or in some cases even supervisor / manager is kind of normal.

ayeemmaperson · 2019-11-25T06:39:55+00:00

Yes. I met my fiance at a Pizza place. My friends met theirs at clubs, through friends, but most through school. We're all under 25 lol.

misiepatysie · 2019-11-25T08:09:52+00:00

31 so maybe I'll still count ;) I met my SO at my workplace (though he was already decided to change companies before asking me out). In the last few yeras I have been asked for a number/date etc by coworkers, people in bars, restaurant, in the shopping malls, the underground, buses etc.

brokegradstudent_93 · 2019-11-25T14:13:25+00:00

Yes it’s still a thing. I met my ex at a wedding through mutual friends. Most of my friends met their SOs in college during class or at the bars. A few met on tinder and meeting from old is getting more common but people still meet organically

ontherailstoday · 2019-11-25T15:16:20+00:00

> but i am only interested in the responses of women say under 30

Oh well then, I'll keep any insight I have into this through observing the experiences of my daughters and their friends strictly to myself.

pample_meese · 2019-11-25T16:43:36+00:00

I don’t believe I have ever met a guy at a bar who I kept in touch with for more than that night. Im far more interested in the men I meet through social circles.

I believe hobby- specific events make it more likely to meet someone you’re interested in (even if you’re just looking for sex), like concerts, festivals, organized sports teams, hostels, etc.

You need to be able to chill and actually speak with someone, not scream over loud music and push through crowds.

I also think cold- approaching anyone for any reason is harder than meeting them through a social circle where people are a lot more opened up. Picture sales people or someone just trying to make friends- it’s the same way.

Orange_Paisley · 2019-11-25T19:38:01+00:00

I'm 48 but my daughter is 25 and she met her boyfriend at work.

2019-11-25T19:59:48+00:00

I'm 27. About 95% of the men I have been with I met this way.

Its predominantly through friends of friends. I have never met someone in a restaurant (I don't know any one who has). I've fucked men I met at bars, but not had a relationship with them.

Online dating is something I used to do whilst I was looking to meet someone IRL. I had five or six dates that were terrible and stopped all together (an I wont go back).

EDIT: Sorry, just re-read your question. The answer is that most women in my life meet men IRL, it seems that tindr is something they do 'on the side', and as a less preferable choice.

BloatedBaryonyx · 2019-11-25T20:05:56+00:00

I met my BF at university, on a trip. Out of everyone I've met there I can only name one that's actually even used a dating app, the rest met their SO's in person, or are single.

Reisiluu · 2019-11-26T06:31:38+00:00

The cashier in the nearby shop, other students, coworkers, men who are in my friends circle, men at bars and men on the street have expressed their interest to me.

There's a guy at my husband's work place who fucks every young woman after they're hired.

IwantyoualltoBEDAVE · 2019-11-27T09:00:08+00:00

No we have stopped going outside.

pngmafia97 · 2019-11-24T19:17:04+00:00

Absolutely. * My new fwb I met at a club. * My daddy I met at a club. * The last restaurant I ate out at the sushi chefs starting hitting on us and I gave them my number. * The last club I went to the security guard got my number.

The last two I mostly acquiesced for future free things purposes lol. I’m sure I would meet men at bars too but I don’t really like bars for meeting new people because I’m into drugs more than alcohol and when I go I’m usually catching up with someone. And the clubs I go to are almost always techno/funk, occasionally hip hop. Not talking about traditional table clubs.

I’ve definitely met people through friends but more so in college than now. I just moved to a new city so everyone I meet through friends I see through a very platonic lens, as I’m trying to build community here and feel people out.

Edit: And as many of you know I am 22.

Title	WOMEN ONLY PLEASE: do women still meet men in bars, clubs,m restaurants, activities or through friends in your universe?
Author	Atlas_B_Shruggin
Upvotes	14
Comments	134
Date	November 24, 2019 4:49 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/e10x5z/women_only_please_do_women_still_meet_men_in_bars/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/women-only-please-do-women-still-meet-men-in-bars.296477 https://theredarchive.com/post/296477

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