Guys, if a woman told you that you’re “husband material”, would you take it as a compliment?

Awokeeleven · 2019-12-09T13:42:16+00:00

I would take ”asshole” as an bigger compliment because that increases the chance she is actually attracted right now other then use u as a provider in the future. So no, I would take it as an insult tbh

diffdedbed · 2019-12-09T14:15:08+00:00

Context dependent.

If you are being friendzoned it means you are a "nice guy" and its not so much insulting as you should take pause on how you present yourself.

If she's trying to hook you up with a friend and she already has a relationship, its not bad, despite what PPD talks about most, most people want LTR's not casual sex forever.

If shes interested in you but says that as an excuse to go slow, she doesn't understand men at all but thinks she does.

ayjaytay22 · 2019-12-09T11:44:05+00:00

I would probably take that to mean “you seem better than all the other dipshits out there” but I’m an optimist

reluctantly_red · 2019-12-09T15:04:07+00:00

It all depends on the context. If its in addition to be seen as a hot guy she wants to fuck its great. If she thinks of you as husband material for some other woman or maybe herself later in life its no better than being called a "nice guy".

King_Loser27 · 2019-12-09T12:16:51+00:00

"I'm gonna fuck around with more attractive men than you till I'm ready to settle down with you"

DREADC0RSAIR · 2019-12-09T14:01:28+00:00

"You have resources that I can see myself extracting from you for a longer period of time."

xXxINCELFAGGOTxXx · 2019-12-09T13:58:20+00:00

If she fucks around then no, it's borderline insulting.

If she has very low n count then it will be neutral, but still kind of insulting.

If she's over 30, I don't care what she says.

paladine76a · 2019-12-09T13:01:29+00:00

I once got told I wasn't husband material once. Was so out of the blue and unexpected.

Story time...

Worked at manufacturer for huge mainframe computers and met a female engineer at work. Never flirted or anything like that but talked quite often when we would see each other. One day I asked her to go to club with me and my friends and she agreed. I figured I would try to hook her up with one of my friends.

Night of the club we are all drinking and then she is all over me. I wasn't expecting it but I went with it. We drank a lot....ended up at my friend's house. I just want to crash but she is very aggressive and wanting sex. I barely knew this chick and I was so drunk. I could've....I just didn't want it. Told her no and I was going to sleep. She left and said she was driving home. I tried to stop her because she had drunk a lot. Wasn't safe for her to drive but she was determined and I barely knew this girl. Told her to call me as soon as she got home. She never did.

This was on a Friday night and I never got a call all weekend. I tried calling her but she never answered. Went into work on Monday and I ran into her in a stairwell. I was very relieved she wasn't dead lol. Told her I was worried and glad she made it home ok. She told me she spent the weekend getting back with her ex. I said oh ok great. I was just worried because you were drinking and driving. She replied back I wasn't husband material. Very awkward moment. Then she walked off leaving me standing in the stairwell thinking w.....t.....f.....?

bonslytoss · 2019-12-09T13:01:52+00:00

That would be one of the highest compliments I could receive from a woman, but I'm a special case.

abaxeron · 2019-12-09T13:27:28+00:00

After thinking for more than 10 seconds, I don't see how this could realistically count as a compliment.

"I think you're the type of a man that a woman would like to be sexually exclusive with. Unless she decides to dump you or lock you up in a dead bedroom, and there's almost nothing you can do about it".

"I think you're the type of a man that a woman would like to have kids with. Unless she unilaterally decides to have them with someone else and force you to absorb the costs, and there's almost nothing you can do about it".

No plans to get married again, ever.

toysjoe · 2019-12-09T13:01:01+00:00

By a promiscuous woman, no.

By an unpromiscuous woman, yes.

DontTouchTheCancer · 2019-12-09T11:41:46+00:00

That's "you'll do".

Friendly-Casper · 2019-12-09T14:30:30+00:00

The moment a woman utters that or "you'd make a good father", formulate an exit strategy as quickly as possible. The resulting dramatic hell you're about to endure will not be worth it otherwise. This falls in the same red flag category as if a woman had just said "i'm not like all the other women you've dated". It is NOT a compliment. It means you are not sexually attractive to the woman in question. Run while you can.

wtknight · 2019-12-09T12:09:32+00:00

If I knew that she had never had casual sex and had always been looking for a guy who could potentially be her husband then I’d take it as a compliment. If she were a person who had had sexual adventures with more alpha guys then I would not take it as a compliment.

ZodiacBrave98 · 2019-12-09T14:19:44+00:00

[deleted]

wenoopic · 2019-12-09T11:57:41+00:00

I take it as an insult, since she is saying that I are not sexually attractive.

ohheyhi99 · 2019-12-09T14:30:28+00:00

I’d take it as a compliment to my character, but I’d also take it as a subtle way of saying “...but not my husband though.”

EsauTheRed · 2019-12-09T14:36:17+00:00

Nearing 30 and assuming most women at this age are seriously interested in finding a husband at this age, yes

k995 · 2019-12-09T12:16:22+00:00

You mean if she considered you someone she(or a woman) would have a big chance to stay the rest of her life with, sure thats a compliment.

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lilsaihah · 2019-12-09T12:54:59+00:00

It'd kinda depend on who she is.

If she's someone who actually is married and their husband is someone I like/respect, then I'd probably take it as a compliment. Same deal, don't like the guy? I won't take it as a compliment. Committed LTR, same deal.

Woman who I know is single but who I'm not interested in? I'll take the compliment. I don't particularly care what it means.

Woman who I know is single and I'm interested in? It gets kinda confusing then. I'd probably not take it as a compliment.

I think I possibly would like to get married, if I were confident that it were a secure relationship. That said I'm not particularly confident that it'll happen.

Xyphos37 · 2019-12-09T13:38:07+00:00

I hear this all the time, it's honestly just wearing thin.

Yes I do want to get married but I'm very unsuccessful at the dating game.

dylang92 · 2019-12-09T13:48:33+00:00

It would depend on the context. Say, she isn’t hooking up with me or being in an LTR because of that I would consider it an insult. I would take it indifferently if she said it if we were already in an LTR, I don’t think I’d ever take this as a compliment honestly.

I want to get married. Truth be told, a lot of good come from it and there are lots of benefits to it not just all the lovey dovey stuff. My gf and I have talked it over, and if I propose and we get married, we are considering just doing the city hall thing because we both kind of believe weddings to be a waste of money and stress.

werubim · 2019-12-09T14:07:04+00:00

No and No. We only keep marriage around for women's sake so that some guy can be forced to pay for her by either living with her or paying her alimony. Total scam.

lmSoBored · 2019-12-09T14:33:44+00:00

I do want to eventually get married.

But in the end it really depends on our sex life. If we have fun and passionate sex on the regular and she calls me "husband material"? Perfect. If we have boring duty sex once or twice a month? Salt in the wound.

nubee123 · 2019-12-09T14:58:55+00:00

The wife of a brother I know once told me,she would have husband me up if she had met me earlier than her husband(the brother). I am still confused !

exit_sandman · 2019-12-09T15:16:24+00:00

Depends. It's a net positive if she's young, wants to marry, and is averse to fucking around. It's a net negative if any of these don't apply.

ArborioRice · 2019-12-09T16:02:35+00:00

Not a compliment at all, means you're a safe backup choice for some girl to settle down with eventually that has good provider potential. Maybe you're also good looking and kind of fuckable so not a total loss there but certainly not at the top of the "I want to fuck him" list. Nearly 100% comfort and long term family beta traits.

"You're a catch!" and "Some girl will be lucky to have you" = $$$$$. Same thing.

Source: Am married; been told this my entire adult life.

Tyler_Gatsby · 2019-12-09T16:03:36+00:00

Yes I would, and yes I would. Depending on the context she said it in of course. Don't care about the high N vs low N aspect of the woman, you can usually tell if a woman is looking at you like she might like to sleep with you or not. That's all that matters.

Barely-moral · 2019-12-09T17:29:41+00:00

If the woman sleeps around with men that are different from me, then its an insult. She is saying that I am only good when she wants to settle, but not good enough when she wants someone that its sexually attractive to her.

If the woman has a low to zero n-count and is a true traditional woman, then and only then I may take that as a compliment.

Deadinthehead · 2019-12-09T18:41:23+00:00

Girls usually reserve this for guys who are inoffensive and boring, but work hard and are "decent". Pass.

BumblingBeta · 2019-12-09T23:30:29+00:00

No, I'd take it as a massive insult. Husbands are the men they use for resources and stability, but not for sex. It's possibly the worst thing a woman can tell you.

[deleted] · 2019-12-09T12:23:56+00:00

I'd take it to mean I wasn't sexually attractive and I am not opposed to marriage.

Edit: I'll add that I think being called "husband material" is in the same league as "you'll make someone happy one day", there's the implied "just not me" which makes it a platitude at best.

Eastuss · 2019-12-09T11:35:27+00:00

Yes.

Creation_Soul · 2019-12-09T12:36:02+00:00

It would probably depend on the context and the person who said it. As stated in other threads, I come from a social environment where people are usually serial monogamists with low N-counts and low casual sex numbers. So in my case, if any of those women said I was husband material, it would have been seen as a slight compliment.

I say it also depends on context, because I know a woman who I always said she is the perfect "mother material". If I was only thinking of someone who I was sure she would be a very good mother, she would be it. The thing is, I am not compatible with her on the personality side or on the sexual side, so she is not "girlfriend/wife material for me", but she is still my standard for "mother material".

analt223 · 2019-12-09T14:45:03+00:00

Yes, if she actually followed up on it and wanted to go out with me. No if she used it as a "your my backup plan while i have fun"

DisastrousMeaning1 · 2019-12-09T14:56:03+00:00

"Husband material" is not a compliment, for all the reasons all the other men are stating.

No, I don't want to get or be married.

G77R23D · 2019-12-09T15:23:25+00:00

Yes. Yes.

raptor7061 · 2019-12-09T15:54:16+00:00

No, and maybe.

It’s not a compliment because it doesn’t mean anything to me. It just doesn’t. What? You think I’m shitting you? I am not. What’s a husband to a women depends on that women. I don’t want a traditional women. I don’t take it as a compliment to be told that I would be a good fit for traditional marriage arrangements where I’m the breadwinner.

I don’t want some random... party girl to tell me that. It just sounds weird coming from a girl that sleeps around and things of that nature.

I don’t want normal women to tell me that either. That puts pressure on me to do something drastic.

I might want to marry if the right person comes along. I have enough confidence in myself to choose a kind and loving partner.

NeedingAdvice86 · 2019-12-09T16:08:59+00:00

Nope....it just means that she doesn't want to fuck you now.....and frankly from what I have seen it is a silent indirect plea for the guy to become more assertive and caveman like in his behavior.....you know, be a damn man so she can get the tingles and want to fuck you.

The only women who ever said that to me were ones in which I wasn't interested in fucking which I treat much as the "nice guys" would......so it isn't really much of a compliment to a guy because it is usually a way for a girl to tell the guy to man up and be more like the dudes she is getting the tingles from.

Teflon08191 · 2019-12-09T16:16:14+00:00

The more extensive her sexual history, the less of a compliment it becomes.

Also nope.

DubsPackage · 2019-12-09T17:51:31+00:00

I would read that as she sees me as more of a beta provider.

If I wanted to be "her deep dark secret" then obviously that's not gonna work out for me.

In general tho, "husband material" definitely sounds better than "let's just be friends," and subjectively *I* find it flattering.

churnthrowaway123456 · 2019-12-09T17:59:00+00:00

Yes. Commitment is a lot bigger deal for women than it is for men, so it's pretty nice to hear that someone sees you this way.

[deleted] · 2019-12-09T18:24:35+00:00

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GrumpyOldHistoricist · 2019-12-09T18:26:07+00:00

Is she saying it as a soft rejection for casual sex? No.

Is she saying it after a good date that ended with me fucking her brains out? Yes.

Context creates meaning.

Workaholiconew · 2019-12-09T18:47:31+00:00

If she said it as she saw my qualities as a real husband, but not for her (like how many of my aunts say I will be a good husband) it is fine for me, I am aware of my value as husband. If I perceive she is interested in me to settle with her, on the other hand it can be insulting and a hallmark to leave her, she is just saying that so I may settle with her. It is extremely insulting however when a high n count woman say it to me.

also for guys answering, do you want to get/be married?

Yes, to someone worth it. But I am also fine with being alone if I can't find any (have not met one since birth, but I presume there is one somewhere)

Rhye88 · 2019-12-09T19:46:18+00:00

Is she rich? Is she going to fulfill my dream of being a stay at home dad? If yes, then do it. If no, it's a vague compliment I couldn't care less about

Karmanger · 2019-12-09T20:56:20+00:00

Unless it's my girlfriend saying it, doesn't mean much.

If a female friend said it I'd know shes just comparing me to her boyfriend.

If it was a random female.... I'd assume it was her attempt at an approach.

MubutuDeezNuts · 2019-12-10T05:32:08+00:00

I’d take it as that I’m a good guy morally and provider wise, but not attractive in a lover/cad way. I’d take the compliment, but would be a strike against any relationship.

Evening-Bee · 2019-12-10T07:53:28+00:00

No. No woman would say that to a man she was interested in. Saying so would give away her game. It is only when a man is already rejected when that could safely be said, and only as a way to sooth or deflect. It is a way to instill hope. All hope is false hope. If you were really husband material she would either be with you or be setting you up with someone she knows rather than just telling you. There would be no need to tell you. Don't say, do.

It depends on what you mean by married, but sure.

Cighz · 2019-12-10T09:47:08+00:00

That's clearly an insult nowadays

762Rifleman · 2019-12-10T21:47:46+00:00

It'd be a compliment, but like hell do I want to get married. It's a woman's endgame, and a complete trap for men. Essentially hope the temporary feeling stays forever, with no need or incentive for it to, and if she gets unhappy with it, YOUR life gets wrecked.

Devils_Advocate1357 · 2019-12-12T04:50:21+00:00

I’d honestly question their sanity

Luca158 · 2019-12-12T16:25:08+00:00

it means you're a beta provider. It's brutal

G77R23D · 2019-12-09T16:54:10+00:00

For all the guys shitting on this thread, one time I was in bed with a woman and when she came she said "omg marry me" So you have to just look on the bright side.

Title	Guys, if a woman told you that you’re “husband material”, would you take it as a compliment?
Author	wtffellification
Upvotes	3
Comments	116
Date	December 9, 2019 11:32 AM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/e88t3x/guys_if_a_woman_told_you_that_youre_husband/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/guys-if-a-woman-told-you-that-youre-husband.298468 https://theredarchive.com/post/298468

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