If women get what they want now, why are they so unhappy?

DevilishRogue · 2020-04-28T15:47:51+00:00

What people think they want doesn't make them happy, they just imagine the grass is always greener on the other side. The reality is somewhat different and that's without getting into the unhappiness caused by opportunity cost - which has increased dramatically over recent decades.

YasuotheChosenOne · 2020-04-28T17:39:10+00:00

They are more unhappy because they have higher expectations of how their lives "should" be. They feel that they need to have it all. Back in the day women learned to live with the little they had.

It's probably the same reason why whites in the US have higher suicide rates than blacks, despite being financially and socially better off. Whites have higher expectations so they get disappointed when things don't go as they'd wish. Blacks learn to be more satisfied with what they have.

In other words, the happiness paradox has nothing to do with whether women were actually better off back in the day or not. It has to do with their expectations, the way they perceive their own life. It's the same thing with how some rich people are more unhappy than some poor people.

flamingoinghome · 2020-04-28T15:37:56+00:00

A. Happiness research has only existed since the 1970s or thereabouts. Meaning we have no idea how happy women were/weren't in the early 20th century or before.

B. The American cultural idea of "happiness" is probably relevant. Like that study on how Danish people consider themselves very happy, in part because their expectation for "happiness" isn't ecstatic joy, but more like comfort and contentment.

C. Personally, I think the rise of mass media (different from social media) has a lot to do with it, but no one talks about that.

wtknight · 2020-04-28T15:38:37+00:00

From what I've read, it's usually because they've taken on too much responsibility. They want to have full-time jobs and want to work enough to advance their career, but want to take care of their homes too. And, if one hires domestic help, that takes a substantial portion out of one's budget. This is why many women are pressuring men to do more housework and why they are pressuring workplaces for more paternity leave.

Asbelowsoaboveme · 2020-04-28T16:45:59+00:00

The easier your life is, the higher your bar for happiness becomes. It’s human nature to eventually become dissatisfied with the color of the grass in your own lawn. if it wasn’t, then humankind never would have progressed past living in caves and never would have left Africa. We would have been content where we were, once comfort and survival were ensured. But happiness is relative, and humans aren’t really capable of being satisfied forever. Our instincts are for hunting and gathering, for never having enough and always being on the move.

When you’re preoccupied with trying to survive, simply getting your basic needs met is enough to make you very happy. When your basic needs are guaranteed to be met, you are able to worry about other problems related to quality of life.

Also, the ability to compare your lot in life with others contributes to lower happiness levels. Social media enables social comparison like never before.

Willow-girl · 2020-04-28T19:56:36+00:00

I'm happy. More women should avoid having kids.

TechnicalMight0 · 2020-04-28T16:10:16+00:00

The female social matrix is a never-ending rat race and marketing departments the world over know that, but women do it to themselves too by spending time on instagram, obsessing over tinder Chads, etc... Basically women become less happy the more women they get to compare themselves to, so unhappiness has been turned up to 11 in a globalized, connected world.

Also a significant portion of women doesn't want a fulltime/corporate job, especially once they have children, because they don't have the male drive to provide/show off resources, but now they have to work that job or be poor, and they can't reverse it without taking away the rights of all women, which even if they themselves wanted to, would be effectively blocked by more influential women who do enjoy having a career.

901735 · 2020-04-28T17:17:12+00:00

let's be real here none of us are happy

Mimoxs · 2020-04-28T17:11:13+00:00

People are statistically unhappy. But even then we haven't been doing research for very long, not long enough to show us the difference.

You say women are so unhappy but what does this mean? Do they have higher diagnosed rates of depression, do they just rate themselves more unhappy? Bc there are explanations for most reasons one could cite as unhappiness.

spoopyspoons · 2020-04-28T16:24:36+00:00

Women complaining is just their default behaviour.

It actually makes sense evolution-wise because we wouldn't have necessarily developed such advanced systems and technology if women were just "content and happy" with their lifestyle.

The societies where women were just happy gathering fruits while men hunted in their own simple lifestyle got wiped out by the societies who developed advanced weapons and armies.

If women didn't bitch about everything men would be cool to just chill, eat and fuck.

passepar2t · 2020-04-28T16:03:04+00:00

Why are you so sure they're so unhappy?

TheJim66 · 2020-04-28T15:38:06+00:00

[deleted]

DangZagnut · 2020-04-28T17:05:20+00:00

A woman's desire is summed up in one word.

"More"

Troy016 · 2020-04-28T16:32:22+00:00

[deleted]

reLincolnX · 2020-04-28T17:40:23+00:00

"Since women still shoulder most of the domestic load and still face wage discrimination, it’s not surprising that - over their lifetime – they earn much less than men.

In 2007, the estimated average lifetime earnings for men was $803,000. On average, women earn about 65% of that, or $519,600. While women’s lifetime earnings are higher now than in the 1970s, given the stubbornness of the current wage gap it seems unlikely that women’s average lifetime earnings will ever equal men’s.

Women’s lower earning power means they are at a high risk of falling into poverty if they have children and then become separated, divorced, or widowed. They are less able to save for their retirement and more likely to be poor in their senior years. And, as previously mentioned, the fear of falling into poverty means that some women stay in abusive relationships, despite the danger.

It’s true many women today pursue demanding careers and are very successful. However, the top female CEOs usually have partners who take on the bulk of the domestic work and childcare.33

When women work outside the home and also do most of the domestic work, their long-term health suffers. According to Statistics Canada, women at every age are more likely than men to describe their days as ‘quite a bit’ or ‘extremely’ stressful.34

There are now twice as many working women in Canada as there were thirty years ago35. This ranks among one of the most dramatic social changes of the last century. However, the failure of governments and employers to adequately respond to this new reality leaves women at an incredible disadvantage. Women “simply cannot participate in the labour market on an equal footing with men.36 According to Human Resources Development Canada, “One of the major obstacles to gender equality has been the failure of workplace and social institutions, historically organized around the male breadwinner model of the family, to keep pace with changing labour market trends.”36

HOLYREGIME · 2020-04-28T16:37:20+00:00

Women will always complain because they’ll never be satisfied. Plus, it’s usually the vocal minority feminists who do all the complaining.

YtBlue · 2020-04-28T15:56:25+00:00

Womens defualt state wont let them. Due to hypergamy once they have an inch they want a mile. Until their biological clock comes

Teflon08191 · 2020-04-28T16:09:32+00:00

Why are there seemingly more unhappy women now than there were before?

Ever read the story about the Fisherman and his Wife?

Pontifex_Lucious-II · 2020-04-28T17:40:39+00:00

Too much chaos now. Women are expected to have a career and still take on the roles of mother and wife by age 30 or they’re viewed as failures. This is impossible for 90% of them.

Women were sold the magic snake oil that you can have a career and have a perfect family. This is pragmatically impossible. Any time spent on your career is time not spent on family, and vice versa. Women were promised the world, but ended up single mothers working at McDonald’s.

Also the belief with the sexual liberation was men and women would become more similar in their sexual tastes and habits as a consequence of women being given sexual agency. This didn’t happen at all. Men and women started a sexual arms race and revealed fundamental irreconcilable differences in their sexual strategies. Men now had less reason to commit, and women now had to navigate the casual sex marketplace which many of them found/ currently find distasteful.

Also social media is a massive net negative for mental health which seems to disproportionately affect women.

2020-04-28T20:38:32+00:00

There's a very simple explanation! It's The Paradox of Choice.

TL;DR: the more choices we have, the less happy we are with any of the choices we make.

This is not just with the choice of mate or partner or SO; but also with the choice of cars, sneakers, jeans, patio furniture, etc....

The long story: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Paradox_of_Choice

Physiologist21 · 2020-04-28T23:53:43+00:00

[deleted]

Ssimpthrrroway · 2020-04-28T15:45:02+00:00

Happiness is hard measure. I see a lot of happy women so idk what are you talking about . Many people use suicide as a form to measure happiness and the numbers are pretty similar now than in the past

OXOzymandias · 2020-04-28T16:02:37+00:00

First i dont believe in those stats

Second this question is extremely dumb (sorry), happiness is extremely subjective, if you take me, i am happy, but i lived and still living some very sad experiences, to the point that recently i told some to my fb and she cried, she just snaped...

Now, she never heard this type of stories, because she is privileged, at the same time she is someone i could defined as unhappy, she never ever struggled, but she is unhappy, that is why at some point happiness is a choice you make as an individual.

rubbooyuri · 2020-04-28T15:42:11+00:00

I’m not, I got what I want. I just wish men would leave me in peace to enjoy it.

SaBahRub · 2020-04-28T16:55:10+00:00

The only thing that mars my enjoyment of life is a minority of men, sadly. But men in general have also created/contributed to much of what I enjoy, so I feel it balances out in the end.

Men in aggregate are a positive thus far; on the individual level, not so much.

Willow-girl · 2020-04-28T17:21:17+00:00

Young whoreish women get what they want and are happy; they become old and hate that no guy sees them as wife material so they become unhappy.

2020-04-28T15:59:17+00:00

People that complain will never have enough

Happiness is a state of mind. A modern feminist is more privileged than 99.9% of the world yet considers themselves a victim. That isn’t a state of mind you can logically appease. Cave in a little a bit, and the field goal posts just change

Better to ignore entirely and just laugh at the delusion

ZCommander9088 · 2020-04-28T16:10:40+00:00

Close, women (as a whole ppl are different) get what the think they want now, and they are so unhappy because it is not what they (most) truly want to desire but what they want to desire. Many women are so unhappy now because they were lied to about what they wanted, and more importantly, they lied to themselves.

TheBookOfSeil · 2020-04-28T16:48:46+00:00

Conflicting wants. People usually become unhappy when they see reality and realize that it doesn’t line up with their idealized fantasies of how they want the world to be. “Reality is often disappointing.”

TomahawkSuppository · 2020-04-28T18:09:29+00:00

Because women rarely know what they want. They follow along with the herd thinking that fucking around in their 20s is the way to go for the modern day gal. Even though she isn’t satisfied with this lifestyle she will stay quiet because speaking up about it means exclusion from the herd.

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2020-04-28T15:48:34+00:00

Society has changed so fast and men and women dont know what they should be doing

the-lone-squid · 2020-04-28T17:15:57+00:00

People work to much and most people hate their jobs.

I know a couple chicks who work for three DNR at state parks and fucking love their lives even tho they get paid peanuts

SILENTSAM69 · 2020-04-28T18:27:35+00:00

Nothing has changed from the past. People are exactly how they have always been.

Thousands of years ago people complained about society moving too fast, how the youth no longer listen to their elders. They complained about athletes only doing it for the money back in gladiator days.

InternalOperator1 · 2020-04-28T21:57:30+00:00

Unrealistic expectations.

Maybe if enough basic bitches discover Buddhism on the banana pancake trail they'll be more content with the wonderful life they already have.

wateroclock · 2020-04-28T22:14:41+00:00

They are unhappy because they were tricked to believe that wageslaving is freedom. Thanks, capitalsm.

FabianStrifeTulip · 2020-04-28T22:36:29+00:00

Why do you even care why women are not happy? Let them care. It's their problem. Do you think they care about your happiness? Got a mom? A sister? An aunt that is close to you? You could care about them. It is more than enough. Care only about the persons that also care about you. Do not care about an entire gender.

fakeaccount687 · 2020-04-29T04:36:34+00:00

Because they try to chase superficial things like the best looking guys, the most internet attention, the most "friends". All surface level stuff.

thedeadpill · 2020-04-29T04:41:23+00:00

People have gotten what they want.

They may not have gotten what they need.

More than that, people are told what they should want by society. Two-point-four-kids, white picket fence, yard, desk job. I remember vividly in the '90s in Canada, our governments and education system was geared towards the new paradigm of information technology; everything was streamlined towards programming, service products and business. Trades were an afterthought, manufacturing was (rightfully) declared to be a dead end.

20 years later, we're short tradespeople, there aren't enough desks for people, and we all wear cheap Chinese goods.

There's a lot of pop culture that pushes women towards being empowered in their careers while omitting that it will come at the cost of your a future family, and lots of women believe they can have it all, but it's unrealistic, if not impossible. Not all women want that, but many do, and don't know they do until it's too late.

mandoa_sky · 2020-04-29T04:47:02+00:00

men aren't all that happy either.

based on stuff I've seen on the science subs, people in general are less happy

GennyX · 2020-04-29T05:52:55+00:00

I’m happy. I mean, we’re going through some tough times here which can make us stressed/sad, but for the most part, I’m choosing and able to be happy.

Sid_Insidious · 2020-04-29T06:38:14+00:00

The more freedom you give women the unhappier they will be. This is not a "Red Pill - get BACK in the KITCHEN" statement but just an observation. The harder women worship feminism, and it's new revisions, the more miserable they are. This is a very inconvenient truth for many, especially "here".

Tomatoccino · 2020-04-29T07:58:13+00:00

There’s no measurement of “happiness” which has been taken before the 1950s, so how would we know?

Willow-girl · 2020-04-29T12:10:59+00:00

Expectations and larger and more difficult to meet. If you aspire to (say for instance) cure cancer, your life is going to be more challenging than that of a 1950s housewife folding tea napkins and selecting china patterns.

Troy016 · 2020-04-29T14:34:54+00:00

Idk I was thinking about this,I just don’t think woman know how to handle power and the choice of knowing what to do now.

Sid_Insidious · 2020-04-30T06:49:59+00:00

Because women bought into he script that feminism, telling them what to do, had their best interests at heart. They believed following the feminist narrative to the letter would mean they would be not only successful, but happy.

Men already knew being useful to corporations was not the key to happiness.

Women had to ~~see~~ experience this for themselves.

slavicgypsygirl · 2020-04-30T18:59:10+00:00

I am a happy person so irdk but I guess that depends on who you surround yourself with & are attracting irl

2020-05-02T05:34:08+00:00

Honestly, I'm pretty happy. But I'm married and childless. I could definitely see how trying to balance kids and a career with 90% of the housework would suck (which is another pretty well known issue... Women generally don't get much help beyond the easy/less boring shit, like taking out the trash and mowing the lawn. Women tend to get stuck with all the chores no one wants). It took a long time for me to get my husband to help around the house, but once we got into a routine where we shared the work appropriately (taking into consideration our jobs, hours, time at home, etc.), Everything was fine. No one wants to come home from work and then have to cook, clean and deal with the kids while their spouse is playing video games. Those are shared responsibilities. Everyone eats, and everyone benefits from a clean house. Doesn't have to be perfect... But a basic level of cleanliness is nice. Also, pro tip: if you don't help, don't bitch.

Also, I do think there is way too much pressure on women to meet certain behavioral and appearance criteria. I've never really clicked with most other women and never really cared, but seeing women spend so much time and energy trying to fix what they perceive as physical flaws with makeup, crash diets, plastic surgery, health gimmicks, etc., Is extremely sad. They aren't happy with themselves because they're taught to be ashamed of themselves. They've been told that their bodies are inferior, that they are weak and fragile, that they're going to hit 30 and melt... I mean can you imagine taking that to heart?

I'm a fairly masculine woman... I have been this way since I was a toddler. I pretty much had to give up any chance of a normal social/dating life in order to just be myself.. and I had to fight my family, peers, teachers, and pretty much everyone else, every step of the way, just to have that freedom. I still struggle with self esteem issues to a degree, primaries from the way my family and my peers treated me over the way I chose to present myself, but I do think that I struggle less overall with confidence and self image now, compared to other women in their early 30's, due to the fact that I didn't internalize alot of the bullshit that women are raised to believe about themselves. Being married to a man who is very egalitarian has helped as well. We get along very well, and now we split the housework.

Title	If women get what they want now, why are they so unhappy?
Author	PierceTheEye
Upvotes	21
Comments	290
Date	April 28, 2020 2:37 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/g9ocws/if_women_get_what_they_want_now_why_are_they_so/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/if-women-get-what-they-want-now-why-are-they-so.657385 https://theredarchive.com/post/657385

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