Q4Women: What makes you sexually attracted to a man?

thelajestic · 2020-10-13T19:14:38+00:00

🤷‍♀️ I get turned on just looking at my partner but that might be because I know him and I'm attracted to him and everything he does.

In general turn ons - guys with their sleeves rolled up, if they smell really nice, any man who can discuss literature with me immediately gets me a bit hot 😅 guys with tattoos, ginger hair, dimples.

Obviously those things don't turn me on all the time or make me attracted to every man who has them, but they are things I generally find sexually attractive.

_mwk · 2020-10-13T20:32:54+00:00

Ectomorph body type, lanky, tall, defined cheekbones or jaw, wavy or curly hair , big eyes.....warm smile.

Example: Matthew Gray Gubbler, younger Kim Jae Wook.

death_by_1000_cats · 2020-10-13T19:26:17+00:00

If you're asking what turns me on, like what actually gets me physically horny and craving sex, it's how he interacts with me. Flirting, whispering in my ear, touching me discreetly, intense or flirtatious eye contact. The way he moves and takes up space, especially in relation to me. I get really turned on by sexual tension. I like to be teased a little bit.

When I'm into a guy it's like we're the only two people in the universe. So no, I'm not considering how he stacks up against other men because at that point I don't even see other men. The dynamic between him and me is what gets me going.

Edit: It should go without saying but it probably doesn't - the above only works if it's being done by a man I find physically attractive. But it's the actions, not the looks themselves, that actually get me craving sex.

2020-10-13T20:19:58+00:00

I have never been turned by anyone. I mean, not before he started kissing me or hugging. I wouldn't care about the guy, wouldn't consider him attractive untill we would dance for example. Dancing still wouldn't make me wet or horny thought. By kissing me would.

sweetestpineapple · 2020-10-13T19:36:49+00:00

Lean but muscular body
Tattoos/ piercings (not excessive though)
Deeper voice, I also love certain accents
Athletic style
Quiet confidence

spacechicken1990 · 2020-10-13T19:00:26+00:00

Men’s hands turn me on to no end, but mostly just get turned on when thinking about men I have some form of relationship with. I don’t see a hot random man & think damn I wanna rail him (well maybe briefly but not full blown fantasy level)

Physically I like thin guys who look alternative & a bit scruffy. He probably has dark hair & is pale with several piercings, glasses & a beard (no tattoos or minimal.. there just trashy usually)
But mostly guys who make me laugh are a turn on, oh & men with a taste in music similar to mine (in this case grindcore or something similar)

Prismatic_Symphony · 2020-10-13T19:00:00+00:00

kissing, touching, him complimenting me or telling me how he desires me, seeing masculine areas of his body (that thicc neck gets me every time), seeing him watching me

flamingoinghome · 2020-10-13T20:10:34+00:00

Shapely hands, a sharp wit, being good conversation, general refinement, certain accents, light eyes, especially in conjunction with dark hair/a dark complexion, making me laugh, dressing well.

2020-10-13T20:19:22+00:00

This one again, already?

Gonna answer differently this time. I have a type but I also don’t, I have an amalgamation of physical and characters turn-on’s from different loves that I didn’t have before I met them, a love map, if you will.

How I determine if I’m ready to go to bed with a man is:

How am I feeling at the moment and in my life in general about sex, men and relationships. As many of you have determined, most of the time how willing a woman is to go to bed with you is just being in the right place at the right time. Sometimes it’s that time of the month but that’s far from a consistently accurate predictor, unless it’s a man I’ve already had sex with. To get with a new partner, I have to be in a trusting state of mind and that has as much to do with me as it does with him.

THIS IS IMPORTANT:

He has to put me at ease. To do this, he must be at ease. Not sweaty, intense, pushy, cocky, standoffish. He has to be comfortable and chill. Good eye contact without staring, smiling but not forced use car salesman smiles. I want to feel safe, and this doesn’t mean that I think the guy will fight another guy for me, I want to feel like he himself is not going to grab me, so he needs to not be in my space but also not closed off to show he’s open to me making a move or that something could happen naturally. It’s all about body language and other nonverbal communication, and the natural flow of conversation and exchange of flirtation.

It‘s the tension that gives desire and curiosity room. Wondering if he’s interested combined with how generally up for it I am. So many men are either fumbling idiots, sinister creeps or outright aggressive that a relaxed, interested, social natural stands apart and turns my sexual switch to on, if I’m open to meeting someone. Most of the time I’m on guard and want to be left alone

2020-10-13T19:57:53+00:00

It's different for each women, I would cringe about the superiority but here's mine.

Dad bod. Guys with a bit of a dad bod are just amazing for cuddles and holding onto in general.
Bed head. It just has that after sex look to it.
A nice smile. Dunno, seeing someone smile is generally nice but seeing my bf smile brings me so much joy and I think he looks more handsome when he does.
The tone of voice. When a guy's tone of voice changes when he's the mood just hits different.
His eyes, they are so key to facial expressions and can completely show how he is feeling. My bf has stunning hazel eyes although I don't think that turns me on, I just think they look cool.
A guy with a good fashion sense. It just screams that he knows what he likes and that he can rock anything he wants to.
Someone who can express themselves and articulate how they are feeling. It gives me the feeling of security knowing that they can express themselves well and communicate.
Skin! A guy with a good skincare routine and smooth skin is such a turn on!
Smell. A guy with a nice cologne on and deodorant without it being overpowering. I personally think that and being close enough to smell them in the mix of the cologne is just my favourite thing. I know this must be some sort of biological pheromone thing, but if a guys sweat just smells funny to me I just can't get in the mood whatsoever.
Facial expressions. I've mentioned this earlier in the list but when I catch a guy off guard and he's suprised or goes red in the face I think it's the cutest thing!

Now obviously some of these are more intimate, generally I like a guy who grooms himself eg trims his beard, can have a good laugh/convo, and is comfortable with himself. That doesn't mean a guy can't have insecurities, but being able to voice them is more attractive than trying to hide them.

I don't get off to my Bf's superiority or lack of it. We just vibe.

2020-10-13T19:37:48+00:00

[deleted]

BlackPorcelainDoll · 2020-10-13T19:36:45+00:00

Exhibitionism - extremely aroused by me - being watched by fit buff men - hairy chests - deep voiced dirty talker/moaner - giant hands - hairy Rugby legs with boney male feet: https://imgur.com/a/UIaZ2Ag

personality traits: doesn't care about women, passionate about everything except women, doesn't think about women only sex - doesn't care that I exist until I do: bachelors, men with lots of male friends, masculine loners living in the woods, etc

SaBahRub · 2020-10-13T19:37:00+00:00

At least ok face + bod + job obviously, but if he’s kind/generous and people still respect or like him that’s the best. And being comfortable in his own skin

I know lots of dudes here will scream otherwise until blue in the face, but any sign of cruelty, meanness, punching down, needless competitiveness, one-upping, throwing his weight around, abusing/tormenting servers or lording shit over people — god, what a waste; I don’t care how hot he is

philomexa · 2020-10-13T19:02:09+00:00

1.) thin

2.) cool

3.) long hair

4.) guitar

5.) tattoos

6.) pale

7.) brooding

optional; leather jacket, smoking, and a smug attitude.

exhibit A, B, C and D

The man needs to fit these parameters, and THEN make me feel sexy.

bingodoll3688 · 2020-10-13T22:22:17+00:00

For me physically: broad shoulders, nice/large hands, tattoos, long hair, and taller than me, I personally don’t like facial hair unless it’s a moustache but also depends on the guy Also not really into super buff muscle guys or chubby guys, prefer guys on the leaner/skinnier side

2020-10-14T15:04:23+00:00

Masculinity - this is both for personality and looks. I don't like uber masculine men - but I like a manly voice, mens fashion, strong physical features ect, courage, bravery ect.
Fitness - No over weight or underweight guys. I like a toned runners/ swimmers body bit I also like well defined muscles (just not ridiculously big).
Sexual prowess - If the guy knows how to eat pussy and smash - my attraction towards him shoots up. If he doesn't, he gets yeeted off my phone.
Healthy features - he must look his age (or even slightly younger). No bags under the eyes, premature balding ect. Good complexion and soft floppy hair is a plus.
charisma. Being able to make me laugh and entertain me is a must. Boring guys just dont make my giny tingle.
Confidence - I don't dig introverted guys, they need to be extroverted with good social skills.
Nice face.

EnrichedBee · 2020-10-13T19:38:49+00:00

As a women I get turned on by visual cues too. A handsome face is top priority. Personality can be hot as well. I like men who make me laugh and have a good time. The way a man speaks is also very attractive.

goatismycopilot · 2020-10-13T19:58:30+00:00

Do you mean sexual attraction like yah I like you sex might happen or instant sexual attraction go for broke cowboy? In the first category it is not one specific thing. In the second category unless it is a Jason Mamoa clone it probably will not happen. It is pretty tate in every day like that I see a man and think omg and even if he is hot chance are he will do or say something gross or stupid or annoying and I will think nope and the moment has passed.

Snacksbreak · 2020-10-13T21:55:11+00:00

Definitely this dude: https://images.app.goo.gl/JfMFfKk6w5CyNM5d9

But otherwise it's very situational. Flirting, lots of getting to know each other but with sexual energy, nice lips, a healthy glow...

nemma88 · 2020-10-13T23:54:31+00:00

The glint in his eye and flirting. A well timed hand placement on the small of my back was the lightswitch moment for my partner. Once it's on, it's ON.

At a physical level like beards or goatee though this isn't a hard and fast rule, and more more of a compliment, or just pleasing for me as I don't see goatees and get turned on. It's 90% context, 10% looks, you have to head to the extreme ends of the looks distribution for this to factor in either way. It's in the attention given and the understanding when to step back or move forward so... I mean I understand this is vague, applies to different women in different ways and is a bit like a black art, but that's how it is.

relish5k · 2020-10-14T17:30:43+00:00

The things that attracted me to my husband at first glance: height / stature (broad shoulders), hair (long and curly), eyes (big and blue).

Things that kept me attracted to my husband: all of the above plus easy smile, calm demeanor, interest in going out and exploring the world, excellent conversationalist / very intelligent, demonstrates kindness and generosity towards both myself and others.

Zonkey_Zeedonk · 2020-10-14T20:59:39+00:00

To be honest? I think it’s kind of a mystery to a lot of us. Good sense of humor is definitely a part of it but I also know a lot of funny people I’m not attracted to.

I’m gonna go ahead and say a lot of it is the way someone smells, but not smells they put on just natural smells? It’s kind of one of those “just happens when it happens” things for me. Rarely the most classically handsome person in the room. Just there’s something that sparks with some people and you usually don’t see it coming.

the40yearoldincel · 2020-10-16T05:12:55+00:00

Asking women to answer this question, will only result in lies.

Looks. Money. Status.

That's all women truly care about.

_pineapplylemon · 2020-10-13T20:03:04+00:00

Comfort first and foremost
Connection/vibe
I view him as valuable
I want to be his
Nice big hands
Smells sexy

blondierespondy · 2020-10-13T20:43:58+00:00

Just show me some attention. Like if I’m with 3 women and you’re polite to everyone, but you’re only flirting with me, it’s so nice. It just makes you feel special and pretty and funny and smart.

Edit: to whom ever commented “so beating other women attracts you to men” and then immediately deleted it

Beating them at what? Being liked? I mean yes. If someone is flirting with other girls in front of me I’m not going to let them fuck me 😂

nemporisso · 2020-10-13T20:47:43+00:00

A good cute/manly ratio is pretty much game over for me. Last couple of guys have been tall built men that absolutely adored their respective cats.

It's not a sexual turn on as much as a silly thrill when your date is the best looking one or whatever. At least in my experience.

In terms of process, it's harder to quantify. Romantic attraction happens through talking to someone you noticed is physically attractive.

Mimoxs · 2020-10-13T21:08:15+00:00

Behavior can make me attracted to ugly men, I'm not highly visual

There's a rare mix of shyness and aggression that I've only experienced a few times that I like a lot

_mwk · 2020-10-13T20:04:27+00:00

i get turned on by actions, especially actions related to me and by very random unusual/unexpected visual cues that showcase what i like in a man

the process goes something like this : visual cues attract me > man with said visual cues does something that turn me > +++ attraction > man with said visual cues does something to me that turns me on > very high attraction

i do have a specific type physical type but idk if that's what you're asking

edit to add : sleepy voice

Mrs_Drgree · 2020-10-13T20:27:21+00:00

[removed]

sunny2weather · 2020-10-13T23:27:06+00:00

Confidence, intelligence, and a flirtatious conversation. I get very turned off if someone on my wavelength flirts with me, whether or not they are physically attractive. I won't always want to date them, but I'll instantly be sexually attracted.

Free_gnagna · 2020-10-14T16:39:15+00:00

While there are for sure certain features that can attract me (like being strong but skinny at the same time, curly hair, a beautiful rich complexion, maybe a bit of body hair iin the right places...), the only thing that can really make me horny about a stranger is a good smell, which in my experience always indicates some high level of chemistry... a sexy smell wakes some animal part in me I don't really understand, so I suppose that even other things I find sexy, like an intense eye contact, or dancing with me, are so good because they imply more phisical closeness, which means more parfum

heaven-sent · 2020-10-14T16:53:21+00:00

The way he looks, sounds and acts. My SO caught my eye because he fit my “type” but hearing him talk/laugh, seeing him smile and watching the way he acted around me and others are what made me actively think about fucking him.

Oh, smell is also important. My SO has always smelled good to me, it makes me want to be close, kiss, make out, etc with him. I’ve experienced lots of guys try to kiss me who do not smell nearly as good to me and it always ends up no bueno. And I’ve actually discussed this with my SO who agrees, some girls who he has gone out with do not smell good to him as well.

octocombo · 2020-10-14T19:30:55+00:00

When he does something dextrous with his hands (playing a musical instrument, typing quickly) and does it well. Also if he uses his mouth well (e.g., licks every last bit of jello out of a jello shot) or if he strains his voice a little high-pitched or breathy or if he wears tight pants that show off a nicely-shaped ass.

Sometimes if he does something showy like if he uses a witty turn of phrase or dances fluidly, but I don’t think that’s because those kinds of showy actions make me view him as better than others so much as it’s just a raw aesthetic appreciation. In general I’m turned on more by physical displays of vulnerability (like throwing the head back to expose the throat) than displays of dominance (like winning an athletic competition)...which makes sense given that I like to dominate in bed.

rft24 · 2020-10-16T16:03:38+00:00

i get turned on by strong masculinity & leadership. it’s hot when a man radiates dominant energy that automatically commands respect without him even having to say anything or assert his dominance. i love when he steps up to the masculine role & allows me to rest in the feminine role.

if we’re talking physicality, then it helps if he’s relatively handsome & fit. & by relatively handsome, i mean what i’ve seen women call “husband cute.” as in he’s not a total stud or model status handsome, but he’s still pretty darn cute. & by fit, he doesn’t have to have huge muscles or a six pack or be able to lift 200lbs; just have a lil muscle, be healthy, & be capable of protecting me from harm because i am sexually turned on when a man makes me feel safe.

there’s like this innate response to that in me that makes me find my man extremely sexy when he protects me. i get that feeling whenever my man puts me on the inside of the sidewalk, pulls me closer to him at the first sign of perceived danger, or when he picks me up & carries me with ease.

when my man makes me feel safe & secure, it makes me wanna go down on him. this is special because i absolutely hate giving bj’s.

slavicgypsygirl · 2020-10-19T19:57:47+00:00

He is my physical type

123gabyy456 · 2020-11-03T18:44:49+00:00

Things i find sexy: Smelling goid Good hygiene Working out Jewrelly Piercings Tattoos Mustaches Nice hair Nice style Pete davidson, mgk, harry styles and algee smith are good examples of that. Treating your mom and sister with respect and in general women. Being nice and smilling. Ross from friends is also very cute not veacause of his look but hiss cuuute personality

The things women are generally attracted to doesn’t have anyting to do with genetics. The mist sexy thing is good hygiene, smelling you know hair and skin. When you hug a guy and he smells good its justt so sexy. The way you dress and style your self is so important. I couldtn care less about if he have a big nose or watever yall are insecure about. Height isbt the most important thing either if you look at fx harry styles he isn’t over 6 feet and still one of the most dessired and sexy men rught now. Sex wise carong about a womans wants and needs is very sexy. Comunication is key.

wtknight · 2020-10-13T19:15:10+00:00

[removed]

the-red_woman · 2020-10-13T20:22:39+00:00

It doesn’t make me turn me on per say but it does make him VERY attractive in a relationship sense - a giant among men. Who would say no?

hail_galaxar · 2020-10-14T00:36:59+00:00

Being funny. If your profile makes me laugh thrice, you’ll get a phone call, and possibly a date. If I laugh my ass off on the first date, you definitely get more. I can’t explain it, but it is such a panty dropper for me. My BFF is the same way. She says; “careful, I’ve gotten pregnant twice over funny”. Probably the least attractive quality a guy can have is to be full of himself. Don’t care how good looking, smart or cute you are. I’ll end the date early if they are full of themselves or if They treat the waiters like crap. I’m weird. I’m turned on by personality qualities more than anything.

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Cimorene86 · 2020-10-14T00:08:45+00:00

Dick pic from my FWB = absolute easiest way to get me turned on. Especially if he sends a message like "thinking of you". So fucking hot, you have no idea...

Edit: I know he's not "superior" or "better" than all other men, but that doesn't matter. The point is, I have sexual access to him. Not those other dudes.

His bird in my hand is worth 2 in the bush 😁

Title	Q4Women: What makes you sexually attracted to a man?
Author	Throwdatshitawaymate
Upvotes	14
Comments	189
Date	October 13, 2020 6:49 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/jajqpf/q4women_what_makes_you_sexually_attracted_to_a_man/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/q4women-what-makes-you-sexually-attracted-to-a-man.747368 https://theredarchive.com/post/747368

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