What have you learned from PPD that has actually improved your life?

Beneficial_Jump_8543 · 2021-06-23T19:44:48+00:00

[permanently deleted]

wtknight · 2021-06-23T18:43:29+00:00

I’ve learned that there are a lot more low value men out there than I thought that there were. I previously felt pretty low value myself but now I feel average.

Scores_Man_Mund · 2021-06-23T20:45:03+00:00

I think the one thing this sub has given me is just a deep sense of how differently the two genders think about love/dating/relationships/sex.

There are so many topics that seem so black and white to me as a man, and also seem so black and white to a lot of women on here, but in the complete opposite direction. And I usually think both "sides" make good arguments (good in the sense that they'd get a high score on a debate team, not that I agree with them).

It just leaves me with this sense that nothing is ever going to improve for anyone. It really feels like the worlds that men and women live in are so different that any kind of common ground or shared experience is going to be impossible.

So yeah, huge improvement to my life lmao

NiceGuyNumber4 · 2021-06-23T20:29:14+00:00

I used to think arguing with women was a stupid waste of time and now I know it is.

2021-06-23T22:32:33+00:00

Some guys truly have trouble even being noticed by most women and giving them advice like just be natural and let things happen to you is seriously bad advice. This made me approach "game" talk with my friends in a more inclusive way.

Talking about girls with men, will naturally make you better.

Just like how you talk money with guys, you make money.

you talk and play video games with guys, you get better then average .

All this to say, time spent with friends I realised, should be ACTUALLY productive in your life outside of leisure of course...

What have you learned from PPD that has actually improved your life?

I learnt most the stuff the past couple months from RedPill content, and everything clicked, things started to connect the dots in my life experience and shined clarity the other side of the coin, its called TRP from the Matrix as corny/cringe as it sounds, because its true lol.

What have I learnt from the PPD? A few minor things here and there, what I like about PPD is that theres a lot from both genders contributing to the discussion, and both views just re-confirm my view points even more...

I need to set up my expectations about a relationship before I even step into the dating game and I should call it off if any of the expectations aren't being met.

I go with the flow, and yes, don't let nobody try and shame you for your standards, women and men for that matter use shaming tacts and spout out bullshit calling you names such as being insecure/incel/ etc, its weak behaviour on their part.

fdslied2U · 2021-06-23T19:34:54+00:00

Through talking to the women here I have learned the vast majority are not worth the effort. I spend way less time concerned about the dating market and how I measure up. And much more time doing things for me to improve things for me.

HelpfulJColeStan2 · 2021-06-23T20:54:52+00:00

i learned that i should be more critical of men's intentions than i already am, and that men apparently think about sex a lot more/way differently than i do

badgersonice · 2021-06-23T22:30:18+00:00

To not assume that guys not asking me out are 100% never interested. I originally tended to assume that the fact that guys didn’t ask me out meant there was something wrong with me and no one would want to date me.

I was young and dumb on that— I mean, it does mean I’m not a total mega hottie, but not that I’m completely broken or hideous. There’s a lot of men who are shy, or awkward, or don’t want to bother you, or don’t want to make it awkward, or are too subtle, or are not looking for a girlfriend right now, or aren’t ready to take the risk, or are only willing to ask if the woman shows easily interpreted signs of interest first.

WestsideMoonWalker · 2021-06-23T19:12:33+00:00

Lmao I've been here for a long-ass time and...... can't actually say PPD has taught me anything that would have helped me all that much. This sub is a trash-fire in a large, flammable garbage dump.

Also made me realize that I am actually killing it at life and that all the anxieties I had when I found this place (which was.... 2014?) were entirely unfounded

passepar2t · 2021-06-23T18:56:55+00:00

That I can be pretty funny when I try and the stars align.

red_man_c · 2021-06-24T07:03:06+00:00

It’s not that there aren’t enough high value men (personality wise) out there. It’s just that there aren’t enough who are both physically attractive and high value (personality) for women.
I’ve learnt to see things from a woman’s side a bit better.
Adjusted my dating tactics (on the verge of landing some woman that almost everyone in my country wants).

RandomUsernameSkrrrt · 2021-06-23T19:07:10+00:00

Those are great points!

I take the initiative a lot more in dating matters now. PPD opened my eyes to the immense pressure men experience making the first move, inferring reciprocal attraction, and risking rejection. I wasn't completely oblivious to it in the past, but a combination of my own anxiety and laziness kept me complacent. Now, after improving my diet and maturing, as well as reading men's experiences on this sub, I have more confidence to make the first move, give out compliments, and be overt about my interest.
Similar to your #1, PPD reinforced the importance of standards and "you get what you give." I've realized a lot of dating struggles talked about here aren't gender issues, but individual self-esteem problems. People who end up with narcissists and abusers don't end up that way because the entire opposite-sex is only those two things, but because they have poor standards for themselves and don't give out what they want to receive. Don't want a promiscuous freak? Stop searching in promiscuous places and behaving like a promiscuous freak yourself. This motivated me even more to walk the life I idealize in a future partner.
Beware of confirmation bias.

gammaJinx · 2021-06-23T19:19:47+00:00

As much as I despise a lot of what FDS does a good portion of what they say is true in terms of the kind of men they want. They are brutally honest and that's something that guys need to hear sometimes given people tend to not be direct. It's honestly only solidified my beliefs in RP allowing me to accept them as they are and not get angry about it.

midwestufohunter · 2021-06-23T20:50:27+00:00

Nothing, even a man fucking you for years, means that he likes you, cares about you, or is attracted to you.

This sounds bleak, but it has actually been really helpful in cutting through the BS.

CantBonkThis · 2021-06-23T18:41:42+00:00

Hahaha, that's funny.

87AudreyHorne · 2021-06-23T20:38:33+00:00

Hahaha nothing.

Really though I just had a very interesting thing happen. Pp definitely subjected me more to the views I wouldn't find in my real life groups of people, and it made me think more and focus more on the whole gender relationship kind of thing (I guess before that I'd say I'm gender blind or something)

But just now I was reading this book (I got from my dad) from one prominent feminist in my country based on her articles made in late 80ies early 90ies. And omfg she is discussing criticisms and beliefs that literally match so many of the guys here. Like same exact shit was said then as is today (not to mention in my country as in US)

same fears about society, same criticisms of feminism, relationships..

LickJoeSammyYou · 2021-06-24T06:04:57+00:00

I've been lurking here for a while, and I've learned that self awareness is a thing only few people have.

tetraacetic · 2021-06-24T08:08:03+00:00

This place is hardly full of much intellect to "learn" from, but I guess I'll give my two cents. This sub opened my mind to taking the blackpill and saw through a lot of the smoke and mirrors of TRP. I harbour no ill feelings towards the opposite gender, I'm not "angry" about my life, I'm not miserable in any way. But I think, at some point, it will be time to put my efforts to rest (in regards to building a relationship with someone) if I don't find success at some point in the near future.... it will be necessary for my own well-being.

Also continue to learn about the kind of struggles that women face in terms of relationships as well.

ex_red_black_piller · 2021-06-24T11:16:18+00:00

That there is no way heterosexual people can understand the other gender's perspective.

Not unless they change genders (or at least pretend to) and experience it themselves. THAT has been the moment of enlightenment for a lot of people who did it.

Plutonic_blue · 2021-06-24T14:51:35+00:00

I learned that most humans are a waste of time and I now focus on my hobbies and keep to myself more. Lonely at times? Hell yeah, but it’s crazy how much less drama you have in your life when you just walk away from society. But that’s just me, this world made me jaded and I’m done with the games, lies, manipulators, time wasters, ego trippers.

PPD also taught me that people really need to get over themselves.

Now I just focus on working out, practicing martial arts, ride motorcycles, and make music. This world ain’t worth my time anymore and I love the freedom

death_by_1000_cats · 2021-06-24T00:00:48+00:00

I've been on this sub and it's associated irc/discord chats for a really long time. I've learned a lot about men, relationships, marriage, childrearing, conflict management, personality types etc. from people here, especially older married women like atlas and Arthur.

One of my biggest takeaways from this place is just how important sex is for men. Which I know to men seems like the biggest duh in the world but women are deeply solipsistic about this. Before coming to this sub I didn't realize how vital sex was for a man to feel loved and worthwhile. Like yeah, I knew men were obsessed with sex and wanted it, but I didn't realize how deeply intwined that desire was with their sense of self worth and validation. It's something I've really taken to heart in my relationship, and the quote that atlas often repeats, "Don't wait until you're in the mood to do it, do it until you're in the mood" is something I try to live by in order to keep my marriage healthy.

Another one is how infrequently men receive compliments. It just never occurred to me until I saw it discussed here. So I've tried to make a conscious effort to compliment the men in my life more.

There are other specific things but just overall I'd say this sub has helped me be more patient and empathetic to men, particularly my husband.

TotalTravesty · 2021-06-23T18:58:03+00:00

I’m better off than I thought. This is going to sound mean but I’ve seen a lot of sad, angry and overall lost men around here. I’ve learned that if I just keep myself from that fate I’ll be alright. It’s a solid motivator and confidence booster.

Speaker7 · 2021-06-23T19:26:16+00:00

Just how neurotic so many women are and how to navigate it effectively irl based on things said here.

Cimorene86 · 2021-06-23T19:59:47+00:00

From PPD? Nothing. It's incredibly rare that anything spoken about here has fuck all to do with my own relationship. I talk to my guy about the topics here and he either rolls his eyes or openly questions why I waste time reading trash opinions.

Then I remind him I'm a masochist and he laughs.

cuckspace · 2021-06-23T23:09:38+00:00

There more I learn about how women actually think when they are not censoring themselves, the more I want to stay away from all relationships.

goatismycopilot · 2021-06-23T19:30:48+00:00

Nothing really this place is a teashbag of average intelligence douche bros who think chicks are just a bunch of body parts and introverts with a penchant for the latest technology and authoritarian irritation for hot chicks who ignore them.

gimpgirl555 · 2021-06-23T19:44:14+00:00

This completely flipped the switch in me and now I don't really feel like guys are being lied to which is a relief.

Lol ofc you're being lied to. In fact you have no idea how deep the rabbit hole goes.

Hint: everything is a lie.

Things I have learned:

I can't relate to normies.

I definitely don't want to deal with normies in a sexual setting.

WilliamWyattD · 2021-06-24T05:25:42+00:00

A comment on the OP's OP.

This seems put a bit strongly. It depends what you expectations were. You need to have the right expectations if you plan on walking if they are not met. That said, the implicit message of 'don't be desperate and be willing to walk away' is solid life advice for many situations.
I think this is an oversimplification. There has definitely been a mixed message about female sexuality for all of history, for various reasons. And that messaging definitely changed substantially by the 1980s, but became even more mixed and even contradictory. I wouldn't single anyone out for blame, as it is too complex to start laying blame casually. Both men and women were complicit, in their ways. I also don't necessarily think that there was an easy divide between male and female oriented media: both had mixed messages. However, I do believe that once a male had decided to accept the version of female sexuality that seemed most likely to be easier for him to please, he very well may have tuned out opposite messages and focused on the messaging that confirmed his hopes. This is a common human flaw.
I think most game is bullshit, except in very small doses as a way of sanding off the rough edges. Be yourself is, ultimately, the only real option if you want to have satisfying relationships with the opposite sex. You can't start a good relationship with a woman by so disrespecting her agency that you are trying to game all her choice heuristics. Even 'fake it until you make it' only works if you are almost there and it won't be long before you really are what you were faking. The advice men really need is the unvarnished truth, which includes the options he is likely to have given the kind of person he is now. Then, he can decide if he truly wants to change to change his options. But most people over 30 will never significantly alter their personalities. Physical changes are easier, but still rare. Sometimes the most real advice if for a guy to know his league and either chose to play in that league, or go celibate and live with that.

SaBahRub · 2021-06-23T20:29:11+00:00

That I am aktsually a sunny optimist full of love instead of the gloomy, cold misanthrope I always thought I was.

At least compared to people here

razormachine · 2021-06-23T21:47:04+00:00

I learned a lot from the red pill, however they... just dig a bit into the rabbit hole and then just bunker up in a comfort zone.

Purple pill has helped me dig further into the hole. It enables one to see stuff from the female perspective, also male social/sexual dynamics are researched. A healthy discussion reveals more then a one sided circlejerk over cherrypicked data.

It enabled me to move on.

bionix90 · 2021-06-24T01:51:21+00:00

PPD is for pointlessly debating people who are dug in and will never change. It's entertainment and nothing else.

TRP on the other hand has taught me to be a strong man and stay on my mission. To always strive to improve myself, be it physically, intellectually, socially, or professionally. If only the community could excise the extremist and misogynist elements, it could get accepted by the mainstream.

peppapigoink95 · 2021-06-24T03:35:38+00:00

Men like compliments and are sensitive and insecure and need validation and reassurance and that doesn't make them weak like my boomer dad said.

Sid_Insidious · 2021-06-24T02:17:48+00:00

I learned that society is fucked, women are as impossible and narcissistic as ever, and I made the single best choice of my life by going MGTOW.

CraptainToad · 2021-06-24T02:29:26+00:00

I learned that self-delusion is something that both genders have in high amounts.

Sorry but if you're 5'6+ your height ain't the issue. You're more than likely not ugly either.

If every guy you meet turns out to be an asshole, then your ability to vet is garbage and mostly your fault. My interest in hearing a woman bitch about men is at an all time low now where previously it was somewhat sympathetic.

blue_dandelions · 2021-06-24T04:46:35+00:00

-1- vet men extensively for ppl who like eating puss.

-2- Don’t talk about sexual experience to men.

-3- Men are more predatory than previously assumed. Again vet more.

FreierSteinkopf · 2021-06-24T10:51:01+00:00

Comforting my friends/Building better relationships with them. I read some bad stuff here sometimes so I am more aware of the problems that my friends have and look behind the mask they put on. One of them is constantly in relationships with skanky women who break up with him and I need to teach him how to select better women and that having a girlfriend is not a win at face value. For some reason some people around me believe that having a girlfriend just for the reason to have a girlfriend is a good approach. Also another friend wants to grow a beard and I give some advice with diet, exercise and products that may help.

PeskyHijinks · 2021-06-24T15:40:12+00:00

Nothing has actually improved my life in any way. I have, however, been totally disabused of the cultural idea that women are the more empathetic gender.

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PlayfulLawyer · 2021-06-23T21:47:10+00:00

Nothing really learned, just good entertainment but I guess it adjusted my perspective, I've got it better than even I thought lol

Christian_Kong · 2021-06-23T22:19:27+00:00

This place is usually a good reminder that my locale can be a canyon away from the locale of others. I just assume a lot of times that people here are in college/youthful city areas and clearly some people here are living in the sticks.

2021-06-24T15:14:47+00:00

I learned that my life is pretty damned good.

HesterMacaulay · 2021-06-25T02:17:46+00:00

I've learned that men will let groundless insecurities fester inside them for years, then lash out at you viciously when you try to correct them.

Retrojazzer17 · 2021-06-25T10:38:57+00:00

That not being desired by women becuase I can't fill extreme standards by them isn't a bad thing at all.

Jakes1967 · 2021-06-25T15:02:49+00:00

What have you learned from PPD that has actually improved your life?

Two things:

The average FDS subscriber, makes pig shit look mensan.

Most PPD women have the same outlook and debate skills, as coffeehouse feminists.

Most women online, just like IRL, are hypocrites.

HDF_ · 2021-06-26T19:20:59+00:00

Absolutely nothing. I just browse this sub to "challenge what I believe."

I have yet to see anything particularly encouraging.

Whisper · 2021-06-24T01:19:09+00:00

How to phrase TRP ideas so that people who aren't very intelligent will understand them.

godandgoddess · 2021-06-24T01:36:11+00:00

Mate guarding and how a lot of men gauge women’s celibacy to be more successful with it I guess. That was not something I was aware of. A lot of things make more sense now. I haven’t dated much and the little dating I did was always with guys I saw as serious so I didn’t get much opportunity to see how the different sexual dynamics played out. It gave me a different perspective on things.

Title	What have you learned from PPD that has actually improved your life?
Author	leveling-up-everyday
Upvotes	22
Comments	227
Date	June 23, 2021 3:48 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/o6fj15/what_have_you_learned_from_ppd_that_has_actually/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/what-have-you-learned-from-ppd-that-has-actually.786010 https://theredarchive.com/post/786010

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