Been wondering for some time; how many neurodivergent women are here?

CakeDice · 2020-10-17T06:10:21+00:00

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RachelStorm98 · 2020-10-17T05:05:00+00:00

Me! 🙋 I am autistic and have ADHD. Happy to have you here. 💕 Glad you saw your worth. FDS is a great place.

thegypsybean · 2020-10-17T05:04:34+00:00

Fellow ADHDer here who was diagnosed recently after spending years wondering what was wrong with me: I am so SO glad you managed to pull yourself out of a bad situation. From here you can only go up! And if you’re ever feeling like you’re struggling please don’t hesitate to reach out, I know exactly how it feels sis. 💕

RavenAva · 2020-10-17T05:04:25+00:00

I don’t have an official diagnosis yet but am in the process of getting help and likely am not neurotypical. The men in my life growing up and the few men I have dated were LVM, and I have had minimal exposure to HVM in any context. I love reading FDS and have learned a lot, but I am also happily WGTOW.

Edit: for those of you who were recently diagnosed, can you share what the process was like for you and what made you seek help? I’ve been feeling really alone and overwhelmed. Thanks for starting this thread OP!

thirdtoebean · 2020-10-17T06:03:48+00:00

I’m autistic, was diagnosed pretty late. It has been helpful to know, as now I know there’s a reason I can’t read or intuit people’s intentions, so get taken advantage of by LVM because I don’t see the red flags. FDS is good for women like me as it explicitly spells them out, very ASD-friendly.

RavenAva · 2020-10-17T07:20:07+00:00

I have cptsd and honestly I'm not here for the dating advice but the level up mentality and venting. I've found that as I've improved my mental health I just stopped being attracted to the vast majority of men. Probably because higher self esteem means I don't put up with crumbs or draining people anymore. I'm not interested in trying to find someone, if a hvm comes into my life ok, if not its still ok. The more I develop myself the more I realize I don't really have an inner need to have a bf, just feels like that idea was drilled into my head growing up by other people and media.

whiterabbit818 · 2020-10-17T04:58:54+00:00

So glad you released yourself from that! ♥️🙏

Cairenne · 2020-10-17T05:30:47+00:00

Hey, you're out! I'm glad ❤️

ADHD here too, pretty close to being officially diagnosed. Finally. Having wondered why some things were just hard for a while (and realising when my kid showed signs). Me too

Pornruinedsociety · 2020-10-17T08:56:18+00:00

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brina80 · 2020-10-17T05:50:23+00:00

ADHDer and fellow survivor here too ✊❤️ Love you ladies! This album really helped me to get through it - Set It Off - Midnight.

Keep searching ladies, it gets dark, but don’t be afraid, you are courageous and you will get there. ✊

MemberBenefits · 2020-10-17T05:05:34+00:00

Self worth is everything.

Gourmay · 2020-10-17T09:27:42+00:00

Hello! I was “diagnosed” gifted last year.. ironically after a bunch of relationships with LVM narcs. Thank goodness as I’d reached a breaking point..

And yes, I expect there’s many of us here.

hapahunnie · 2020-10-17T05:08:50+00:00

ADHD here! I see a female therapist who practices CBT (and is extremely critical of David Burns and openly admits he’s misogynistic in his approach) and I honestly feel like I’ve added years back onto my life span.

TheFeministFox · 2020-10-17T09:16:29+00:00

I didn't even know you can have both ASD and ADHD at the same time! I always thought they were mutually exclusive and often misdiagnosed as one or the other for some reason, but you never stop learning!

Fellow Aspie here, btw! :)

fim_de_semana · 2020-10-17T11:01:28+00:00

I’m on the autism spectrum. I struggle reading body language and find it hard to pick up some obvious red flags sometimes :(

allergictoscrotes · 2020-10-17T14:16:00+00:00

Omg I didn’t expect there to be so many other women with ADD/ADHD here. I have dealt with PTSD, anxiety, and depression in the past, but now it’s mostly just the ADD. It’s so comforting to know that there are this many other women here who can relate to the struggle 😭❤️

huevos_and_whiskey · 2020-10-17T17:09:34+00:00

ADHD and PTSD. I do think ADHDers are more susceptible to bullying and gaslighting, just due to the distractibility alone. People with all types of mental illnesses, just like other vulnerable segments of the population, are at higher risk to be targeted by abusers.

I wonder how many people are actually neurotypical? How accurate are the published statistics? How many mental illnesses/disorders go undiagnosed?

wolf_town · 2020-10-17T10:38:04+00:00

Same combo and 25 years old 🤍

oneheadlight312 · 2020-10-17T12:46:18+00:00

Bipolar type 1, managing it like a world champ for 31 years and killing the game. (46, F).

dzgata · 2020-10-17T14:24:55+00:00

Almost certain I have inattentive ADHD, I just have never told a medical provider my symptoms yet.

Lamiek · 2020-10-17T14:58:08+00:00

I have Asperger's, and a lot of trouble approaching sex.

2020-10-17T20:56:05+00:00

mild aspergers here. I have some affective disorder as well. am a little awkward and "quirky" and so I meet that type and we often click. And because I don't "click" with many people, I would overlook red flags in favor of our chemistry. I am also very "in my own head" and often kind of let my imagination run with things instead of staying grounded. Emotions really compromise my ability to stay grounded and vet with logic. I have a lot of things I need to work on before I can be in a healthy relationship. This sub helps a lot because the advice is so blunt. In my head I like to think of everyone as having good intentions and interpreting things how I do, but that mindset gets me into trouble.

Edit: i am basically michael bluth from arrested development

heliodrome · 2020-10-17T11:44:12+00:00

ADHD from trauma here. Medicated and well on my way in trauma healing.

throwmefaraway85 · 2020-10-17T14:06:51+00:00

ADHD here! 🙋🏼‍♀️

notochord · 2020-10-18T06:07:53+00:00

I got my adhd dx a year ago at age 31! Now I’m working with a therapist to unpack some trauma which will hopefully help in future management of symptoms. I really wish I had my diagnosis back when I was in school, and mourn for the decades of my life that I “lost”. It’s a journey and some days are better than others. Getting rid of my gaslighting and abusive ex and getting sober have done wonders for my mental state. Still, I feel like I’m years behind other women and haven’t made peace with my past.

Hugs to all of you in this thread and take care!

veruscka · 2020-10-17T15:40:28+00:00

I’m not sure. If I am, it’s mild – I’ve taken multiple online tests that are supposed to be accurate and they all indicate high probability of being on the spectrum. I don’t know if getting an official diagnosis would help me at this point in my life (I’m in my mid 30s) so I haven’t pursued it. However I do get a lot out of the r/autism sub. It’s worth noting that women with autism tend to get diagnosed much later in life since the symptoms/behaviors can be different for women. And we can “mask” easier in a lot of ways. I also have OCD/panic disorder which I take meds for and that makes a big difference.

Optimal_Grapefruit_5 · 2020-10-17T23:48:55+00:00

In the process of getting an autism diagnosis. I do think being neurodivergent might have contributed to certain misadventures with LVM in the past, although I'm definitely still 100% accountable for how good or bad I handled them.

I'm very happy you finally got out of that awful relationship! I hope you can only continue to thrive from here and that this community can always be there to help you <3

hnycrsp · 2020-10-17T10:35:30+00:00

I have OCD so my thoughts and feelings, especially after a breakup, are obsessive and intrusive. It makes me feel completely out of control and I tend to make stupid decisions. This has helped me immensely.

Innanaspeaks · 2020-10-17T13:40:35+00:00

Edited

penandfeather · 2020-10-17T15:15:45+00:00

ADHD here! Diagnosed in my 40’s.

I’m medicated, but still trying to figure out how to deal

thedevinefemme · 2020-10-17T15:53:32+00:00

ADHD, both types!

geekyspacegirl420 · 2020-10-17T16:03:44+00:00

I’m adhd! I was a bad pick me in my 20’s and am 40 now. Been single almost my entire 30’s and will continue to be since I’m pretty happy on my own! Unless the perfect guy comes around, I’ll be pretty content being single for the rest of my life 😊

teaandcoffee717 · 2020-10-17T16:31:16+00:00

I have ADHD. Diagnosed at 20 but I knew about it since 14 years old. I have never been medicated for it but instead took more of a natural route to treat it with meditation/mindfulness, breathework, yoga and much more. My symptoms are not noticible anyone these days, it just takes a lot of maneuvering and self awareness to work around it so that it doesn't affect daily life. Luckily its not been an issue for me in my dating life- but I also have generalized anxiety disorder which I definitely think did. However I haven't had a panic attack since 2018, so i've made some drastic improvements.

manwatheil_undomiel · 2020-10-17T21:11:45+00:00

I'm ADD and bipolar!

Austenma · 2020-10-18T04:14:17+00:00

I am adhd as well. love learning about neurodivergence!

gibgerbabymummy · 2020-10-19T11:44:12+00:00

Pretty sure I am Bi-Polar, but have three SN kids so never had to time to get myself diagnosed! I'm married so not sure for dating help but love the community and advice.

sisibunnyxo · 2020-11-05T23:29:54+00:00

I have ASD, ADHD, generalised anxiety, quite possibly depression although that shows itself in bouts rather than being constant and hasn't been properly diagnosed and I guess OCD which still manifests itself in my tendency to overthink situations such as break ups and go around in circles. (I used to have things I'd do as a kid like avoiding cracks in the pavement, I believed the number 14 would bring me bad luck, walking down the stairs in a certain way etc and I was diagnosed so yeah.) I just searched to see if there were any other ladies on here whose minds operate differently. I'm glad I'm not alone. Dating, asserting ourselves (in my experience.) and attracting the right guys isn't easy - it's why I'm on a break from it all myself.

My second eldest sister deals with mental illness and one of my other sisters is dyspraxic and had to take herself out of an abusive relationship and move out of our area in order to make a fresh start with my niece and nephews and keep them safe.

Being autistic and quite introverted, it's harder for me to make friends and so I tend to be dependent on the people I do have or meet - it's why I feel this page is good for me so I can see the red flags, set stronger boundaries, find happiness in being alone until I do find someone who is high value and a good fit for me and not compromising for the wrong people etc.

Well done though for removing yourself from a toxic situation that wasn't right for you. x

discochicken87 · 2020-10-17T06:17:33+00:00

Autistic with ADHD/add in the process of getting diagnosed. My low self esteem due to always being "odd" led me to latch onto the first lvm that thought I was fuck able.

nitrozade222 · 2020-10-17T23:02:57+00:00

I have ASD :)

SpicyScroteRoastery · 2020-10-18T02:38:31+00:00

ADHD/ASD combo here as well! Two of the biggest changes in my life have been getting diagnosed and finding FDS this year!

gl1ttercake · 2020-10-18T04:57:08+00:00

Yes, ASD and ADHD-C.

tiredaligator19 · 2020-10-18T04:59:44+00:00

I have ADHD.

skyerippa · 2020-10-19T23:52:57+00:00

I have multiple mental illnesses haha woooo

Title	Been wondering for some time; how many neurodivergent women are here?
Author	CakeDice
Upvotes	128
Comments	67
Date	October 17, 2020 4:37 AM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/jcoynr/been_wondering_for_some_time_how_many/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/been-wondering-for-some-time-how-many.319477 https://theredarchive.com/post/319477

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