Don’t be Bob the Builder for a man.

yegerska · 2020-09-23T14:49:18+00:00

I kinda doubt that LVM could actually be changed unless they want to become better. They could look better or learn a couple of new manipulation tricks but they still a shitty men at their core. Bancroft says that abusive men are abusive because it works for them

tamarindoseco · 2020-09-23T14:37:13+00:00

You know the statement is just weird when you can easily replace "my boyfriend" with "my child"

eveninghope · 2020-09-23T13:57:05+00:00

Yes, @ the women who are married to my exbfs, you're welcome.

youdipthong · 2020-09-23T14:00:20+00:00

sis this isn’t build-a-boo. i cackled at @BongoMuffing’s response

ello-motto · 2020-09-23T15:17:48+00:00

There was a female comedian who also addressed sex in a relationship, how men benefit from our teaching them to actually give orgasms. Her punch line was that when they break up, she's always like "I want my moves back!!!" Lol.

SayNad · 2020-09-23T16:36:01+00:00

If you want a project so damn much, go adopt a child sis. What the f**k with this "make BOYFRIEND a better person" shit, he has a brain - he can think for his damn self.

CuriousBubbleMilkTea · 2020-09-23T15:23:37+00:00

I had to teach my ex a simple "say sorry when you have made a mistake" because he never thought it's necessary to apologize apparently 🙄

Tell-Me-Whyy · 2020-09-23T14:23:40+00:00

He's just gonna move on and be a better boyfriend to some other woman

michelle27519 · 2020-09-23T13:58:48+00:00

I’ve done this soooo many times

kaitybubbly · 2020-09-23T17:18:47+00:00

Lmaoo harsh but necessary. I learned my lesson, its not my job to parent my significant other into becoming a better person. Either they show up a decent human being from the get go or I'll go find another one.

thedutchqueen · 2020-09-23T17:32:26+00:00

every break up i’ve ever gone through has taught me these lessons. but it wasn’t BECAUSE of the other party helping me become a better person, it was because they treated me so badly that i was forced to grow internally.

i can’t even imagine what it would feel like for someone to help me grow by being an actually good and responsive partner.

mscristalconnors · 2020-09-23T17:46:07+00:00

I never help men for this reason. My ex wouldn’t go to therapy so I said bye bye. Not my problem. Now I only meet men who are already where I’m at.

uglygalthrow · 2020-09-23T13:53:40+00:00

Not sure if I chose the right flair, there are so many.

breadandbunny · 2020-09-23T17:54:18+00:00

I don't consider a male a man if he has not already done those things himself. It should NOT take a woman dealing with his fuckery shitcraft for this to happen.

2020-09-23T18:45:12+00:00

Important: Don’t be a free therapist to any man. Shit I learned the hard way

SupremeCanadian · 2020-09-23T18:28:16+00:00

I ain't Build a Bastard.

CloacaDiddler · 2020-09-23T19:50:37+00:00

I can’t think of many times when the boyfriend makes his girlfriend a better woman (except for stronger, take-less-bullshit) but fuck yeah women that get a guy three girlfriends later probably have the best version of him he’ll ever be. Not saying it’s even good, but maybe by that point he’s picked up how to wash his face, change a sheet, and rub near the clit area.

Pahapan · 2020-09-23T21:07:10+00:00

LVM rarely change though, not even by being in a relationship with a HVW. They just sometimes land with the right PickMe sucker who'll tolerate them longer.

I'm not the first woman my abusive ex tried to trap with a baby. He thinks there must be something chromosomally wrong with his sperm or something because two previous girlfriends of his "miscarried". I'm pretty sure they did the same thing I did, got an abortion and passed it off as a miscarriage to escape him because he's psychotic.

RavenWudgieRose · 2020-09-23T15:17:19+00:00

There's even a song of this similar scenario that I jam to, cause it's catchy as fuck. It's about asking to give her "Credit" for being Barbara the Builder from the new woman, but she wanna make it clear that her not loving him anymore is the reason why they broke up. It's silly but charming in its own pickme-that-can-hopefully-be-saved type of way.

-pop-fizz-clink · 2020-09-23T20:19:31+00:00

Translation " my goal in my relationship is to be my boyfriends mom. I do all the emotional labor so I can post thinly veiled bitter memes on Facebook about how men are lazy and dumb!"

This is nothing to be proud of. I'm embarrassed for this person.

Im_feminist_bite_me · 2020-09-24T02:16:23+00:00

A long time ago someone said to me that when a couple gets married, the woman expects the man to change (he doesn't) and the man expects the woman to stay the same (she doesn't). That really stuck with me, for good or bad.

fim_de_semana · 2020-09-23T17:58:52+00:00

I can only hope my ex isn’t a shitbag to his next girlfriend.

randomgirlimok · 2020-09-23T23:31:30+00:00

I started dating him when we were 22. He said stuff like he didn’t care if he only made $30k for the rest of his life working in a machine shop, didn’t want to go to college, and refused to work any overtime even though the option was there. I thought he was just young and stupid so I built him up by making him go to college (he never finished though), writing his resume, LinkedIn etc. I was able to help him get a job making 90k of which the new girl is enjoying I’m sure.

ceramicunicorn · 2020-09-23T22:53:41+00:00

I’ve been Woman 1. I’ve been her so many times. I remember I used to refer to myself as The Training Ground, because I kept seeing men turn it around for later partners. Not that any woman should have to do that work, but nonetheless, I really think it’s time a man comes into my life that is already good to go, because he’s had the training.

And that is why I don’t get jealous of exes. As long as she doesn’t stir up trouble, I really don’t mind them. In fact, because I know it’s a rare thing for ex-partners to have had no hand in a man’s development, I’d be grateful for what she did, just as I hope that the current partners of my exes who are profiting off my work now would be grateful towards me.

CapeCod_KwassaKwassa · 2020-09-23T23:54:55+00:00

when your 2nd date requires a hard hat...

honeybeeroll · 2020-09-23T20:05:48+00:00

LMFAO the response 😂 slam dunked lol

waddamelone · 2020-09-23T21:42:42+00:00

Barbara the buildress 😂💀

Singngkiltmygrandma · 2020-09-23T17:44:03+00:00

Wow lol

bitchjustsniffthiss · 2020-09-23T21:29:43+00:00

This actually made me laugh out loud!

Itiswhatitizzzz272 · 2020-09-23T21:38:14+00:00

Story of my life 😂

Moloi-Jimai · 2020-10-07T19:26:28+00:00

My husband occasionally attributes his habits to his ex, “Jazzie,” like - he sorts colors before washing clothes, oh Jazzie got me doing that. He polishes the wood furniture without me asking, “Jazzie kinda trained me haha.”

Jazzie wherever you are I want to buy you a drink.

Equal-Ear2312 · 2020-10-14T11:52:06+00:00

my goal in a relationship is to make my boyfriend a better person

semnatic analysis: your goal is to make him...

just no!

You are not his parole officer, girl!

sashazulu · 2020-10-21T13:57:55+00:00

I have an acquaintance, the times I met him when he was attracted to me gave me the whole story of his damage and ex 😒I was like nope this ends here . I am not here to fix shit go to therapy.

Title	Don’t be Bob the Builder for a man.
Author	uglygalthrow
Upvotes	3349
Comments	89
Date	September 23, 2020 1:53 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/iyaj6k/dont_be_bob_the_builder_for_a_man/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/dont-be-bob-the-builder-for-a-man.273533 https://theredarchive.com/post/273533

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