Just another year end reminder to NEVER EVER build a man. Focus on yourself and only yourself.

FlockAroundtheClock · 2021-12-27T16:17:06+00:00

Damn! That was a crazy read. She is a badass for taking such quick, thorough action!

GlitteryMoss · 2021-12-27T16:26:14+00:00

Ladies, if you want to build something, get some Lego.

Only accept already built functioning adult men.

End of my Ted Talk.

Edit: that QUEEN's checklist should be saved. It could help so many others. This woman sounds amazing and I do hope she learns from this lesson to never do this for another guy again. She deserves so much better!!

Edit 2: I saw comments saying that the stuff she bought him (suits, tablet, etc.) is considered his property and she can get into trouble for taking that away. Does anyone know if this is true and how can that guy prove he had any of those items?

daisy_0720 · 2021-12-27T16:42:42+00:00

"I will NEVER help a man build himself, EVER."

This was a tough lesson, but it sounds like she's learned it. Someone should link her here.

kettleodumplins · 2021-12-27T16:23:56+00:00

What an incredibly kind, generous, and put together woman she is. I hope that therapy goes well for her and that she is able to find the internal validation that she needs. I am amazed that she handled that situation so well and did not have an interest in seeing the aftermath. Handing over the files that the ex stole was very smart, and I would have kept the phone to hear him complain about coming home to being homeless, unemployed, and having to move in with his likely now unemployed side piece's family.

Men don't respect women that build them up and pay for them. HVM don't and LVM don't. NVM apparently don't to the extent that they will try to get a kind-hearted person to pay for them, their side piece, their family, and the vacation for their side piece's family. So glad she was able to get away from this sicko. Don't pay his bills, don't pay off his debt, don't buy him nice things, and don't get him entwined in your work or start a business for him. It just never works.

BrightIdeaGenerator · 2021-12-27T17:12:22+00:00

Okay, the story is horrible, and that guy is a POS, but I am SOOO PROUD of her!! That was some queen 👑 shit right there! She handled it MASTERFULLY. 👏 👏 👏

The_Cat_Empress · 2021-12-27T19:05:56+00:00

THIS is why you don’t sign a lease with a man. She obviously had the house under her name and this waste of space scrote was just sucking her energy. I hope she gives us an update on her life scrote-free! How exciting!! I love the fact she’s got a “catio”. 🥺💕

rightsun__ · 2021-12-27T17:31:03+00:00

Jesus..... I do want to point out how fortunate it was that she was financially able to do this kind of cut off. I know how expensive moving and shipping things is and so many women in her situation probably haven’t had the fund to be able to escape like this.

I would pay to see his face when he lands and realizes all his cards don’t work and she’s not answering the phone heheh

dee_isabird · 2021-12-27T22:08:14+00:00

The moment someone asks you to get rid of your pets is the moment you get rid of that relationship.

katiekat0214 · 2021-12-27T17:53:17+00:00

So much future faking from him.

ItsFreezen · 2021-12-27T17:04:44+00:00

1Million Upvotes.

OutspokenPerson · 2021-12-27T18:01:14+00:00

That was so hard to read. He took so much from her and offered absolutely nothing in return!

If we all redirected our energies into our own careers and interests and mental health, we will end up SO much better off.

I feel like someone needs to take that entire post and split it into two columns. On the left would be a list of her statements. On the right would be FDS insight to each and every one. It could be a master class in how to step back and understand why each bit of that relationship was just a total waste of time, money and energy. Total waste of time.

Jinxhourglass · 2021-12-27T17:58:35+00:00

Can someone send me the link to the thread I want to keep tabs on anymore updates

WeCaredALot · 2021-12-27T19:41:28+00:00

Wow...that was a lot. It's obvious that Nick was playing both of the women. He sounds like a huge grifter -- first, using the OP of that story for her finances and support, but it also sounds like he was trying to use the 25 year old side piece as well, re: the part about her helping him with his business. Yet another reason it's a red flag for men to go after younger women...

I mean, I'm glad she got away, but yeesh. She should have stopped supporting him a long time ago. And the side piece and her family are stupid for continuing to associate with him too. Did they really think he wouldn't use the side piece the same way he's using the OP? Come on. You lose 'em how you get 'em.

Sonechko_K · 2021-12-27T18:15:51+00:00

I went from "WTF is this" to "You go girl!" I am proud of her beyond belief! Got even teary for her sweet revenge! I wish her and her cats the bestest life and therapy in this New Year! <3

Mimosa_usagi · 2021-12-27T23:59:53+00:00

That was quite the roller coaster. I was cheering for her once I realized she cut that cancer of a person out.

QueenAlice3 · 2021-12-28T00:38:13+00:00

Can I hire this woman to plan all my breakups? Please?

myheartisfulloflove · 2021-12-28T02:58:55+00:00

The part about her feeling so confused as to why she was getting cheated on when she's done so much for him, tried to look good for him, and was so good to him as a gf really hurt my heart. It really does not matter how much heavy lifting you do in the relationship with a man who ain't shit. You can do everything correct and by the book, but it doesn't take long for a man to decide that you are not the one for him and for him to treat you accordingly. (Read: like absolute dog shit.)

I'm glad you posted this OP. Never fall in love with potential. Either he's got the bag and everything else in his life in order to have a stable relationship or marriage with you, or he's for the streets with his bum ass. There are no shades of grey here, I'm afraid.

AnniaT · 2021-12-27T23:29:24+00:00

I'm getting more and more enraged with the audacity of the scrote the more I read.

naps-seductively · 2021-12-27T17:38:43+00:00

I have to say, this was absolutely delicious to read. What a Queen 👑

Equal-Ear2312 · 2021-12-28T08:19:28+00:00

after all the pain and shit I have been through with men I learned some things:

-never lend money unless I want to lose them

-never lend books unless I want to lose them

-never do free labour for a man unless I want it to be a thankless job

-never pay and give them more than I afford to lose

- treat men the way they are, not the way I wish them to be (this is the hardest part and I can explain if necessary)

cutiebranch · 2021-12-28T05:34:53+00:00

Oof

I see this again and again but I still don’t understand the degree of intertwining some couples do.

If you’re not married, you shouldn’t have a joint account, or card, or give access to your media sites etc

BongSlurper · 2021-12-27T21:39:04+00:00

Wow I was so pissed reading this, but holy hell did she handle this like a freaking boss.

CroneRaisedMaiden · 2021-12-28T03:40:54+00:00

I debated not reading this because it was so long but I’m glad I did.

MsWriteNow07 · 2021-12-27T16:18:01+00:00

Eh. The takedown is absolutely epic, but I really don’t feel any sympathy for this woman. Not only was she playing Barbara the builder to the extreme, it seems like she had fields of red flags that she ignored over time. The revenge she served is definitely one for the history books and I hope she’s stranded her scrote ex abroad and his side chick, too. But we as women have got to stop thinking that we are exceptions to the rules and ignoring men’s horrible behavior. They are not going to change. Block and delete. And I hope she feels better now that she’s finally gotten this guy out of her life

Liu_Su_Mian_Hua · 2021-12-27T17:48:30+00:00

She described his family as choosing beggers and mooches while supporting his unemployed self and she only figured out recently he would continue to cheat and mooch?

🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡

pompommom31 · 2021-12-27T16:42:52+00:00

I couldn’t make it past the first paragraph, it told me everything I needed to know. Power to all here with the patience to read the rest of whatever shitshow occurred.

capresesalad1985 · 2021-12-28T22:39:01+00:00

Holy goddamn hell. That was a ride. Good for her for the execution, but she dealt with his sh*t for way too long. But also sounds like the bf and the ex were in an mlm and she was essentially funding it. I know alot of couples who drink that koolaide together. I know this is a small detail but one thing I read about a lot in posts about train wreck relationships is how does he react/treat your PETS. This starts out with him giving her crap about her cats. I have read stories of woman dating men for 2 months and they start talking about getting rid of her pets. I had men ask me if I would get rid of my 10 plus year old cat if they were to move in. GTFO. Any man who wants me wants all of me and that includes my fur baby.

EveSerpent · 2021-12-29T00:54:50+00:00

I love a happy ending.

SearchLightsInc · 2021-12-28T01:43:14+00:00

TL;DR - can anyone breakdown?

Title	Just another year end reminder to NEVER EVER build a man. Focus on yourself and only yourself.
Author	firegirl110
Upvotes	648
Comments	67
Date	December 27, 2021 3:50 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/rpqcgf/just_another_year_end_reminder_to_never_ever/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/just-another-year-end-reminder-to-never-ever-build.1090408 https://theredarchive.com/post/1090408

Comments