What was a Pickme behavior that you've looked back on and regretted?

k20_4 · 2020-04-30T02:47:33+00:00

[deleted]

electroloop · 2020-04-30T02:46:23+00:00

Thanks for sharing and moving past that pick me behaviour! I’m sure a lot of us are guilty of that one.

My pick me behaviour is paying for a man’s meals who made at least 5x the salary I make to show him that “i’M nOt LiKe OtHeR gIrLS!!1”

And yes, I was treated extremely poorly throughout the duration of that situationship. I’m ashamed of my pick me ways.

nurseratchet1212 · 2020-04-30T02:57:13+00:00

Splitting the bill, feeling the need to qualify my opinion, developing one-itis for men that were just not that into me, putting up with problematic/fetishist men.

k20_4 · 2020-04-30T02:57:34+00:00

Oh man, where to start...

I lent him money even though he made almost twice what I did.
I was willing to not "put a label" on things.
The sex was bad. I was definitely a human Fleshlight to him.
I paid on our first date because he was too broke. See number 1.
He smoked pot and Vaped, and neither of them are attractive to me.
His last girlfriend before we dated was 22. He was 39. I ignored it even though I knew it was weird.
We had non-date dates where he'd watch basketball (which I'm not interested in) or YouTube. Or sometimes I got to drive him around while he played Pokemon Go.
He was always correcting me or trying to change things about me. Like dumb shit. He didn't like the thumbs up emoji, or that I said dude when I talked. So I tried not to do these things. 🙄

Wtf past me. When I snapped out of it and broke it off it was such a relief. I was being so nice for what?

pickmieshaexorcist · 2020-04-30T02:48:05+00:00

Ugh, I’d say the most specific pickmeisha thing I did in my youth was actually pretend to be into his interests in a lame attempt to score cool girl points. It’s so embarrassing. And you gotta understand, this wasn’t just normal pretending. My twisted pickme brain would actually delude me into thinking that I was always into this thing the whole time! “No mom, you just don’t get it, I’ve always been into the complete works of Aristotle. I LOVE early 20th century jazz! GEEZ.”

buddingQueenie · 2020-04-30T03:07:40+00:00

When he started losing interest, I kicked it up full-throttle and believed in "maybe he's truly busy" and "just text him first".

Led to me being an absolute pick me to a man when I was fit and young and he was 15 years my senior (and I earned almost double him, still), out of shape, with a huge pubic beard.

I get angry at myself and my dumb past but now that'll NEVER happen again. I learned my fucking worth. The biggest pickmeishas become the biggest queens when they wake up. Don't beat yourself up, girls.

helljess86 · 2020-04-30T02:49:36+00:00

Not leaving after the first sign of abuse.

geologykitty · 2020-04-30T03:34:25+00:00

In between phase 1, total pickmeisha who let men do whatever they wanted, and phase 3, queen who would immediately send these scrotes to the curb, I went through this phase 2, where I THOUGHT I was showing my worth by staying around way too long and demanding that these LVM treat me with respect. Except... They're LVM, so instead of treating me right, they were just typical LVM who treated me like I was a crazy bitch. I honestly think this phase was worse for my mental health than phase 1.

BerryCocoLove · 2020-04-30T04:00:06+00:00

I used my birthday gift money to buy my ex an expensive tie that he never wore.

He later cheated on me with a barely legal girl who he met while on vacation

PossibleCook · 2020-04-30T04:41:35+00:00

Ooof okay, I’m cringing just thinking about it but here it goes:

I spent every second of everyday waiting for his texts thinking we were building a relationship, two months into us “talking” he got a gf which he neglected to tell me about, I found out on the third month. I actually did cut him off and block him when I found out, but sadly I was weak willed and came crawling back within days. This man strung me along for like TWO YEARS. I saw him roughly 5 times in those two years, we live in the same city. He claimed to have been broken up with the gf by the time I started meeting up with him but they were still living together because of the lease.

We never went on a date. One time we met at McDonald’s and he asked me to buy him a coffee and then he left. Three times we hung out at a park, at night. And one time I picked him up from work and drove him to his apartment, where I assumed we were going to hang out (this was a new apartment where he was living with a friend) as soon as we get there he informs me that we’re not gonna hang out and I have to leave because while yes, it was a new apartment and he was living with a friend, his ex was also living there and he didn’t want her to see me there because it would hurt her feelings.

This man is straight up no value. Aside from the very obvious fact that he didn’t care about me, he was in love with another girl (probably still is) and I’m not talking about his ex. His best friend was dating the girl for years and as soon as they broke up the POS wrote her a love letter and gave it to her - while his best friend was still grieving the relationship.

Yeah, the point is that I was a total fool and a complete pickmesha.

Mean_Green_Kween · 2020-04-30T06:40:47+00:00

Asking a guy out and triple texting him when he was clearly ghosting me 🤮🤮🤮

myaccountiscool · 2020-04-30T04:15:32+00:00

I did a lot of pick-me things with my ex boyfriend Bullet, like giving him presents for no reason and such, but I’m most ashamed of having been a Pickmeisha with Gru, because while Bullet was low value, Gru was negative value. That’s how bad he was.

I dated Gru about a year ago and he dumped me within two weeks, but he strung me along for the next two or three months.

I booked and paid for an AirBnb for a romantic getaway. What did he do? He brought his video games and just played all day and withheld sex from me only to spite me. At the same time he was refusing to speak to me, all while sitting on his ass in the AirBnb I was paying for and eating the food he had made me buy. I remember back then I refused to buy meat because I don’t eat any for ethical reasons, but he yelled at me which made me give in. I gave in because I was scared, having been abused by a man in the past, but mostly I wanted him to pick me.

Meanwhile, Gru was hung up on his ex girlfriend who had left him two years prior, all while he was swiping through Tinder and telling me that he was refusing to talk about one of his matches because he felt that she was “special” to his heart. Which was insane because he didn’t even know her. I was hurt but I didn’t kick him to the curb because I wanted him to stay with me.

He made me feel so bad about myself and my personality that after we came back from the getaway, I was the one who apologized to him. I gave him a present, telling him I was sorry. He didn’t even say thank you.

Now that I think about these things, I cringe so much, because I wouldn’t even do them for a HVM, let alone Negative Value Man like Gru.

GraveyardH2020 · 2020-04-30T04:46:17+00:00

Taking him back after like 10+ breakups. Honestly every week. While he was living with his soon to be ex wife. I was always so desperate for him to come back. I’d buy groceries to cook him dinner not knowing if he’d show up. I’d given this guy a key to my house. It was sad honestly.

Also, believing every story he fed me about why he called me his ex girlfriends name, why he was texting her, mailing her things while he was married (this was before he knew me, but still a red flag since he was married at the time!). Man I was so naive.

lickyblickyuhh · 2020-04-30T07:55:13+00:00

Rejected gifts because I didn’t believe I deserved them.
Spent the limited government assistance I had on seeing my ex, he didn’t return the favour and got angry when I told him I could barely afford it and he needs to make the effort and come over more. Continued spending my limited money for 3 hour bus trips which he barely returned.
Not leaving multiple times after he took his anger out on me
The first date was a walk around the city 💀 he admitted he refused money from his mother to take me somewhere nicer. I sympathise with financially hard times as I was also there- but I think getting your money on track should be more of a priority than a relationship. I was in the same situation and looking back I think I shouldn’t have been dating him either, as I was struggling hard with finding consistent work.
Same guy from above, in his anger outbursts he would break up with me and then get back together. And I just....allowed it. Not even realising what was happening. I was just on autopilot and not realising the gravity of my situation.
Giving more than getting in return and being genuinely proud of it.
Laughing off sexual harassment and rape threats from boys in high school.
Deliberately dating guys who I deep down knew I wasn’t interested in or attracted to, because I thought that’s what I deserved and I would be unhappy for the rest of my life. This caused me to be in 3 toxic relationships as I would cast aside their bad behaviour towards me. I am so so ashamed of myself.

I know there’s plenty more which will come up in my memory now and then

catsuramen · 2020-04-30T11:43:55+00:00

I spent 7.4 years in a relationship with a LVM. It's a common trope, I was young and didn't know better. After we went official, he moved in and we played house. Although we were in the same uni program, he spent his days playing video games and I was cleaning, cooking, and doing his laundry. He refuses to do the activities I would like to do and even refuses to do his responsibilities in chores. I had to beg him to go grocery shopping (need his help to carry stuff) so then we could eat. I had to clean his laundry and pick up his clothes so the house doesn't smell like piss. I planned a surprise birthday party FOR HIM and he refuses to go because he is too lazy even when everyone was waiting for him there. It was so embarrassing. Did I tell you I paid the bills too?

I was living in Mommy 2.0.

My pick-me behavior was believing that he would change and he would be too lazy to cheat anyways. He is always at home waiting to be fed, cleaned, and housed. Because I wanted a family life and take care of loved ones so bad, BECAUSE I WANTED A HOME, I endured all these abusive behavior.

He later cheated on me with his co-worker (and lied to me in the face even though I caught them red-handed), knocked her up, broke up with me on Valentine's day, and then have his rich parents buy them a house to have this baby.

Honestly, I still have PTSD over it 4 years later. I accepted this will haunt me for the rest of my life, but I won't let this, this anger of betrayal, to overcome my goals. I now live my life for myself...and I will not disappoint myself and live my life to the fullest.

I am graduating with a PhD in genetic engineering and in the forefront bringing COVID19 testing to hospitals and clinics. This is my revenge.

flandersmustash · 2020-04-30T09:08:10+00:00

MANY.

I’ve probably done every pick me ever. But one that still gives me embarrassment is I gave him my card to pay for dinner, clothes whatever so he could look like he was paying. He told me he felt emasculated that he couldn’t pay for things and apparently that was my problem to fix? Dear Jesus. What was wrong with me.

lonelybones1 · 2020-04-30T07:31:45+00:00

I was being a pickme to ome of my coworkers. I asked for his number, asked him out. We set up a "date". The day before that date he invited me to his home for a "cooking date". Basically a booty call but I thought it was romantic. Well, he used me for sex. He was so fucking bad in bed. Next day, he camcels the date saying he's "ill" and we rescedule to next day. Later it comes out that he wasn't really ill, because he watched game of thrones and "studied". I was hurt by that but that didn't stop me from being a pickme. So we go to a pub for our meeting, have some food, drink, play billiards. He paid, doesn't mean anything though. He pretends to be romantically interested in me, kissed e, hugged me, had long talks. Afterwards at the bus stop, he asks me for sex (surprise surprise bitch). I decline. We sit on the bus and he says he wants to see me again the next day. Haha well, he never texted me again.

Later I confront him about it and he says he knows what I want but he can't commit because abusive ex bla bla bla depression bla bla bla.

Basically a sick fuck who strung me along but I was too dumb to realise it. He did weed and LSD. Video games. Netflix, shit diet and monster energy drinks (seriously, what is it with fuckboys and energy drinks?!), hanging out with his "bros" (the word bro is a red flag in itself)

Never again. It's almost like that experience makes not want to return to Ireland again (that's where it happened) because it was traumatising. He even told me that he stared at my ass at work a lot (creepy) and objectified me. That caused self esteem issues within me and i'm still healing.

topumasum · 2020-04-30T09:07:50+00:00

Being nice to him even after him leaving me alone in the middle of the road, cold at night, crying to myself...on my birthday. I knew it was over, but I still was polite, dropped in messages and hoped for him to reply.

Still gives me anxiety thinking about it.

Lily_padd · 2020-04-30T11:04:33+00:00

There are sooo many, I want to go back in time and slap myself across the room.

I'll just give some highlights for your cringing pleasure...

• Texting a guy 8 years older who stood me up and then insulted me for calling it out.

• Ranting about basic girls and feeling superior for being a metalhead tomboy.

• Trying to watch every favorite show of my ex even though I hated most of them. He was crushing on his classmate, repeatedly coerced me into acts I didn't want to do, tried to keep our relationship secret and only told me he loved me after I broke up with him. I kept dating him because of romanticizing my own loyalty and hoping for the better. (It never gets better.)

• Rejecting an invitation for a lunch date because I didn't have any money. Instead I slept with him the first time we ever met. He ended up breadcrumbing me in a fwb relationshit.

• Gave head every time I visited this other ex while he only reciprocated when I asked (almost never). Let him push my head down and do weird kink stuff without asking. Reposted nudes on a private blog but didn't let me post my own. He had erectile dysfunction lol.

• Went over to guys places for hooking up... even brought snacks sometimes.

• Travelled 2 hours to bf every weekend for months. Put up with manipulation and abuse.

Yeah it fkin ends now.

villagefunambulist · 2020-04-30T06:39:20+00:00

Apologizing for things that were not my fault, splitting the bill, laughing off neg-type jokes, getting him nice Christmas & birthday presents when he would always forget mine, letting him blur the lines of respect, falling for "potential" and thoughts of how I could help him "build" himself, crying when he yelled at me instead of standing up for myself, agreeing to not use a condom earlier than I felt safe, tolerating being gaslighted and feeling like I have to walk on eggshells, not putting myself first..

SarcasmSlide · 2020-04-30T15:13:14+00:00

I was in a brief flirtation/situationship in my early 20’s with a musician. He was going through a divorce at the time and refused to have penetrative sex with me for “religious reasons” because he was still legally married, but he “allowed” me to give him a blowjobs after weeks of making out. He literally never called me again after that, and when I ran into him in public he pretended he didn’t know me.

I let some trash guitarist in a mediocre local metal band ejaculate in my mouth, and I told myself I was respecting his spirituality.

2020-04-30T07:54:09+00:00

When my ex would insult me and it really hurt, I pushed down any feelings of being insulted and just keep repeating to myself "if I didn't want to be called x, then maybe I shouldn't be x"

Also being under the belief that I owe men depraved sex on their terms if they be my "friend", I owe them AT LEAST that because they put so much "effort" into being such a "good friend"

Also insisting on paying for a lot of things, feelings of great discomfort if anyone did anything for me or paid for anything for me, I felt like they'd use it later to demand something in return. "ie, I can't let them buy me coffee 9therwise they'll make me owe them sex"

Also believing I wasn't good enough /pretty enough for boundaries

Wanting to cook, bake, hand make gifts, listen attentively to their emotional needs, pamper them then spoil them rotten for their birthday... When I'd wonder what I'd want for my birthday.. I just wanted 1 DAY of the same treatment back, not even spoiling me for my birthday

.... Its getting better

DallasOMalley · 2020-04-30T14:02:21+00:00

Spending several years with a man who had a bad case of ED, and believed mutual masturbation was an acceptable substitute. (Yes, I was expected to get myself off.) When I attempted to gently ask that he see a doctor, he gaslit me and acted like THERE WASN'T A PROBLEM. I tolerated this unsatisfying bullshit because I thought I was being "supportive". I minimized my own wants and needs in order to avoid hurting his feelings (in retrospect, he didn't deserve that kind of courtesy). Never doing that again.

If the tables had been turned, and I'd expected HIM to live with only jerking himself off, I imagine he would've left me.

laeriel_c · 2020-04-30T10:42:21+00:00

My worst one was definitely when one of my exes would want to come to my place mid-week and after agreeing to meet at 7 or 8 would turn up at 10 because he had things to do supposedly and then would expect me to give him food lmao. I didn't cook for him but I did accept his low effort behaviour for way too long and enthusiastically had sex with him even when he turned up just to sleep over. He also would arrange to meet and then just "forget". So humiliating to be texting him asking where he is and it turns out he wasn't even thinking about it... Eventually I called him out and rather than him offering to change things for the better we both agreed it was best to break up.

Davina33 · 2020-04-30T07:50:44+00:00

An older man tale here. When I was 18 I dated this older man. I went for a diabetes test at his pharmacy and he pursued me. Despite this I put up with him telling me not to get heavy. He was a single father with 2 young children and he used to say nasty things about his ex. We never had sex. Once we were kissing in his car and he came in his trousers! Unbelievable! Once I didn't hear from him for 2 weeks. That's when I wised up and finished things. I can't believe I let that slimy 40 year old anywhere near me.

I'm half Indian and I once had this black Jamaican boyfriend who became obsessed with Indian women after dating me. Apparently he then got it in his head that all Indian women must have tight vaginas. He lived on his own and I would stay with him. He never took me about but he dud love bomb me with loads of gifts. He tried it on with an Indian colleague of mine and she told me so I dumped him. A year later he came in my shop with his wife! He had a wife in Jamaica the whole time! I had no idea!

ldid · 2020-04-30T13:36:47+00:00

Putting up with his substance abuse issues and passing it off as "he doesn't get to go out much because he works out of town so when he's in town he just wants to have a good time."

Going 50/50 when he made 3x as much as I did.

Staying with him after he kissed his dog at midnight on new years eve instead of me, and I had to sit there with my jaw on the floor like a reject in front of his friends.

Him saying that he only gives oral sex for special occasions.... He went down on me twice in 8 months. What a joke.

StayAtHomeOverlord · 2020-04-30T05:35:15+00:00

Settled for a situationship even though I wanted a real relationship.

2020-04-30T15:58:57+00:00

Confusing love with lust man, nowadays I barely feel like I "love" a guy it's amazing to not be clouded by lust and see a man for who they really are. I used to always find a excuse that there a good person down there in himself. But I realize a good man doesn't disrespect people for no reason. Now I realize if anyone disrespects me without any reason they ain't worth shit. Also, I finally realize I have this habit for some reason to settle for less attractive men even when I don't find them attractive. I snap out of that behavior but now especially men on reddit call me shallow. Lmao it's shallow to want to be sexual attractive to someone if I am going to spend years with? okay then

lukewarm_at_best · 2020-04-30T14:21:23+00:00

When I look back on my relationship I'm completely unsure of who I even was. Within my three year relationship with my ex I

- Allowed 7+ months to pass before getting commitment from him.

- Took him back after a argument (over text, nonetheless) where he thought I was with someone else.

- Moved into an apartment HE wanted which was almost out of my means, not the one I wanted.

- Did not fight him when he told me he was leaving for an internship in a city 6+ hours away, a month after we moved in together, because I didn't want to create the fight of him accusing me of not being supportive of his career.

- Convinced myself it was okay he didn't visit me for my birthday because it was "too expensive". That SAME weekend he went on a trip to the most expensive city in my country. (We were LDR for a while, armed forces, never again) .

- Followed his want me for me to cut ties with one of my closets friends because he didn't like their lifestyle.

- Constantly had to defend myself against accusations of cheating, to the point where I became 'that girl' who was exceptionally rude to any male for no reason, just to deter them.

- Allowed myself to be emotionally manipulated/abused by him constantly threatening to break up over trivial things: not having full blown arguments/conversations over text while at WORK, getting a tattoo, not doing something he wanted to do.

- Did not put up a fight when he chose to go out with friends (who he was going to see the next day) instead of meeting my family that came in from out of state who I only get to see every 2 years or so, if I'm lucky.

This is just the tip of the iceberg. But that relationship ended 5 years ago because I realized that I am entitled to happiness. I have been single since then because I knew what it was like being in an unhappy relationship and I would be damned if I let it happen again. When I think back on it now I'm not embarrassed because it was such a learning experience for me, and got me to where I am today. WHEW that was cathartic. Thanks for coming to my TED Talk

cherrypepsilvr · 2020-04-30T17:32:35+00:00

I wish when I was younger (maybe aged up to about 22) I didn't chase any guy who complimented me. I confused "he's nice" and "he's temporarily being nice to me so he can fuck me and dump me like a jizz rag".

Now when anyone tells me I'm beautiful and we're not dating, I see that as kind of an awkward and overly-personal thing to say. Like, not if it's a friend saying "You look beautiful in this picture", but if a man or even woman just says it to me out of nowhere, I view that as them trying to get something, or at least judging my appearance as if it's any of their business. Now I just go, "Yeah, thanks." And a LOT of these people will go off at you for being "arrogant" if you don't go, "Who me? I'm beautiful, you really think so?"

Nah bro, nah.

insertrandomname1993 · 2020-04-30T03:58:51+00:00

Stayed in an on again off again situationship with my ex from college. During this erratic ride, he:

*Banned me from traveling with my friends *Called me out of my name several times *Cut me off once because I went out and had a drink with friends *Continuously rubbed his friend (male) in my face that he knew I disliked...idk what his reasoning for this was *Told me I must abort the baby or else he’s never talking to me again (during a pregnancy scare)

Why I stayed as long as I did is BEYOND ME. I will NEVER tolerate that again. I definitely don’t want him back. I’m forever turned off so he better not try.

hilariouslystated · 2020-04-30T17:56:28+00:00

I don't think the comment box even has enough space for me to write out all my pickmeisha moments but here are some notable ones:

-Getting a phone call from a guy at 4am in the morning telling me to come over, just a few hours before I had to be at work. I actually went! Today I do not accept calls from males after about 6 or 7pm. I reject the phone call and return it the next day. And I will never allow them to take away from my sleep for any reason, especially if there's been no commitment. So that means no late night phone calls or meeting them in the middle of the night for sexual activities.

-Dropping whatever I was doing and whoever I was with the second I received a call or request to hang out from a guy. If he is worth it then he can wait for me to finish my work, finish my night with my friends, or whatever I am doing. He can speak to me or see me at a different time when I am not already occupied.

-Begging a guy to PLEASE DATE ME after he repeatedly said he didn't want to date me. I had naively thought that since he had hooked up, we were that much closer to an official relationship. I no longer sleep with men who have not committed to me. "Casual" sex does not make potential mates see you in a better light, if anything, it does the opposite.

-Thinking that I could change a verbally and mentally abusive man by just showing him how nice and kind I am...while allowing myself to be a human doormat in the process...only to be dumped anyways (not that that that relationship was healthy anyways). An abusive man will always be an abusive man. It is not your responsibility to change him. You just need to leave as soon as possible and don't look back.

-Trying to be the "cool girl", "one of the guys", and "not like the other girls" up until I was about 24 or 25. There is nothing wrong with having a strong group of female friends. I have learned so much about life and womanhood through my female friends. It's actually pretty cool.

DivineHag · 2020-04-30T03:04:40+00:00

Initiating. In any form in the early stages.

Eg Texting. Calling. Suggesting dates. Making moves. Introducing friends and family before he has.

I learnt to sit back and let them prove themselves to me.

2020-04-30T16:07:38+00:00

Omg so much, but mostly living in my head re the person and not seeing them for who they truly are. I love fantasy and have succumbed many times to imagining what someone is like/could be like.

Cutiepatootiehere · 2020-04-30T15:24:57+00:00

Asked a guy out on a date after inviting him to a dance where he ignored me and avoided me all night (even though many other guys were hitting on me!!) then cried all night and into public brunch in the dining hall the next morning.

2020-04-30T17:29:02+00:00

Giving them money, doing sexual things under pressure because they threatened to leave me (though they cheated anyways LOL) and still they would criticize me by saying "your sexual efforts are low..........", comparing myself to their exes who were brillant women while I was nothing but à disabled and jobless flop lol.

galian84 · 2020-04-30T20:40:36+00:00

Ugh, where to start...I was an awful pickme for 8 years, throughout 2 relationships and one weird situationship, and random OLD dates in between. Mostly it just involved my chasing after men who either were not interested in a relationship or marriage, even sometimes after they explicitly told me so. I thought I could make them fall for me and want to marry me if I just acted a certain way ("LoOk I cAn Be A cOoL gIrl!!!") and constantly did things for them and went out of my way for them (ughhhhh).

Worst part was, I couldn't even stand up for myself because I had zero boundaries at that point and just went along with whatever they wanted, whether it suited me or not. My worst days was when I knew a guy didn't even want to date me properly but just wanted sex or to cheat on his SO, and I still hit him up to hang out.

Looking back at all that makes me cringe hard.

warinmymind94 · 2020-05-01T06:36:03+00:00

Things I hate about my pickme past: 1. Staying "nice" and "civil" to exes and rapey pervs because of mutual friends 2. I was pressured into "give him a 2and chance just communicate" from a former friend when my ex was clearly cheating 3. Thinking that staying with my cheating ex was "love" and being proud I was his "main" (I was so young) 4. Feeling like I had to prove myself to a crush (in high school) I cared about him, I suggested we all get a get well soon card, and take it over with a care package fo surprise him in the hospital... another chick heard me planning it out and quick did it and said it was her idea. I then felt like I had to do more and tell him so he would choose me over her. 5. Sitting on reddit posting in the relationship advice and asking old pickme friends for advice... like "he hasnt texted me back in a week, should I reach out for the 5th time or block him?"... or "he doesnt want to plan dates how can I communicate?" Ugh why 6. Being friends with pickmes 7. Being told I was too nice and my standards were too high 8. Going along with LVM, pretending to be interested in what they say, ignoring their insults to my new car, and not telling them off and walking out 9. Not blocking and cutting off people sooner. 10. Crying listening to iann dior and juiceworld over clowns, wondering why I'm not good enough ... when the clowns really werent good enough for me

Gallifryer · 2020-04-30T23:36:06+00:00

I’ve slept with boys that I had crushes on when I knew that they weren’t interested in a relationship. I thought if I’d fuck them they’d end up falling for me.

FYI it didn’t work

Pinsandballoons · 2020-05-01T19:43:26+00:00

My ex basically just used me for sex for almost 5 years. Weird to think about how long we were "together", of course "together" depended on whether or not he had anyone else to have sex with. He was a pathological liar and cheat, and I even gave him $200 which he refused to pay back. That wasn't even the final straw. What broke the camel's back was that he asked me to come over one time while I was out with a friend. I told him I might just go home, but at the last minute I changed my mind and made my way to his place. Of course, he wasn't responding to any of my texts about this change of plan because he was punishing me for not agreeing immediately. When I got there, I knocked on the door until his roommate had to answer. His roommate looked confused and let me in, only to see the ex sitting right there playing video games. As soon as he saw I was in the apartment he started berating me for "coming over unnanounced", "crazy", "you can't just barge into people's apartments". Right in front of his roommate and his roommates gf. I left. I sent him a text that basically said I don't care if you die, I never want to see you again. I've been with my new bf for a year and haven't seen his sorry pathetic ass since, despite him trying to get me to go "out to dinner" with him so we could "discuss the miscommunication" when he found out I was finally seeing someone else.

bootybootybootymeow · 2020-05-01T06:12:48+00:00

My ex had a penchant for adding random girls on instagram (not models, just regular attractive girls, which made it way worse). I used to spend hours AND I MEAN HOURS with my heart in my throat checking the activity log back when that was visible (actually grateful that got taken away) waiting for my ex to like pics so I could see what he was looking at when he wasn't responding to my messages. I even had a few girls' profiles I was particularly hatefully jealous of bc he would comment on their photos as well so I had a little "rotation" I would check. I would check to make sure new follows weren't local and if they were... well that made everything 1000 times worse.

I always felt that those were the girls he would be with if he could. Which is stupid because he is maybe a 5. It makes me absolutely sick to my stomach to remember these times, it was such a stressful and toxic time in my life. I was always available for him, even turning down or blowing off the few friends I had and my life revolved around the next time I would see him even while I tried to pretend I was independent and had something going on. He'd ask me to hang out last minute all the time and I knew I should say no but I never did bc it hurt too much.

I started to realize I was literally torturing myself and ruining my mood multiple times a day. It started pushing me toward FDS before I had even heard of it. I was tired of being a doormat and a "stop" on some dude's roadtrip to his dream girl. I wanted someone who would appreciate and be sure of me. I'm grateful for the relationship we had because it gave me the kick in the ass I needed to come out of my shell and actually start actively living my life. Fast forward and I'm a completely different person. Still outgrowing pickme behavior but it's a journey.

starsandpanties · 2020-04-30T04:26:28+00:00

Ogod my peak pickmeisha behavior was during my first relationship. He was my first boyfriend and looking back holy shit do i regret it.

-When I asked him about his body count, he told me he doesnt keep count or there's too many. WTF I SHOULD'VE SEEN THAT RED FLAG but since he's my boyfriend i should just accept it as that's how boys are huhu.

He was into PUA 🤮
our sex life was horrible. He was my first partner and i completely hate the sex we had together. Everytime we would do it I was dry and in pain. It's not uncommon that i would bleed after sex. There was one time we tried lube and while we were doing it i would reapply and he asked me if it's okay to forgo the lube since he couldnt feel anything. And of course I, being a pickmeisha, told him no worries anything for you. 🙄

hyaluronicwhomst · 2020-05-01T11:49:07+00:00

My Pickmeisha behavior was letting a boy convince me to be in an open relationship, live with him and take on almost all of the domestic duties, work while going to school and on top of that pay half of rent.

For two and a half years.

A joke.

Title	What was a Pickme behavior that you've looked back on and regretted?
Author	k20_4
Upvotes	148
Comments	78
Date	April 30, 2020 2:32 AM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/gan9yf/what_was_a_pickme_behavior_that_youve_looked_back/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/what-was-a-pickme-behavior-that-youve-looked-back.677276 https://theredarchive.com/post/677276

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