I'm done

EricAllonde · 2018-09-04T17:28:43+00:00

In the past few years several of my male colleagues have started families. They all take paternity leave (usually for around a month, sometimes for longer) and when they come back they often expect to work a bit less. As a case in point, I was recently asked to take on extra project by a colleague who's a new father - he said he needs to spend time with his baby and can't work as much as I do.

Her lack of self-awareness is staggering.

For women in finance, the heavy workload, the high stress and the lack of sleep not only make it difficult to find a partner

Are you saying that men in finance find it equally difficult to find a partner for those reasons? Because feminists assure us that men & women are equally capable in every way, nay identical in fact, so anything that affects women must equally affect men.

but are a recipe for hormonal imbalance and infertility. The longer I work in banking, the more that I feel that I'm being made to make a choice: the ability to conceive, or the opportunity to become an MD.

OK, now you're definitely admitting that men & women are not the same. Watch out, the sisterhood will be round to re-educate you very soon.

ReasonItOut · 2018-09-04T17:52:44+00:00

Nor do any of these men take time to really understand the women they work with or to appreciate the sacrifices they are making for their roles.

Yeah remember how men were demonized as bad fathers for working to support their families? How suddenly working 80 hours a week meant you didn't want to see your kids?

This woman has no idea what it means to be unappreciated. Her disconnect with reality and lack of human empthatu are astounding.

BetterBadIdeas · 2018-09-04T17:41:50+00:00

This has to be satire. It's too perfect.

WoodChucking · 2018-09-04T17:30:57+00:00

The longer I work in banking, the more that I feel that I'm being made to make a choice: the ability to conceive, or the opportunity to become an MD.

She's completely right. This is the choice she has to make.

So make your choice and live with the outcome.

People make choices like this all the damned time for all kinds of things.

fartmitten · 2018-09-04T17:30:52+00:00

The writer clearly thinks that the world revolves around her. Pretty narcisistic. At least the comment section is mostly common sense and calls her out on it.

pteawesome1 · 2018-09-04T18:32:20+00:00

If I picked out ridiculous quotes to make counter points I'd just pick out the whole article. But I'll leave it with this, heavy workloads aren't discrimination, being infertile isn't discrimination, men don't have magic infertility powers, you chose to become a VP, this is how men are almost all the top of every field, they give up everything to do those ridiculous work hours, ridiculous shifts, and never off. Women for generations were calling them bad father's, deadbeats, etc. Now it's women's turn to work and they're revolting over it.

rawbface · 2018-09-04T19:23:45+00:00

This makes me so irrationally angry. I don't get "paternity leave". I'm having my first child this week, and I have to use ALL of my sick time to get a maximum of one week off to bond with my child.

Meanwhile my fiancee has been out of work for the past month at 100% pay, and will continue to get full pay until 6 weeks after the baby is born, after which she'll get 60% pay from the state, and her job is preserved another 12 weeks.

I work in sales, and my metrics are not suspended when I take time off. I could be fired the week I return if my sales numbers are not good enough. This is not an equal system. This system is NOT biased in my favor!

pistmalone · 2018-09-04T18:29:27+00:00

is this article satire? I'm asking in all honesty, that's how ridiculous it reads

Bestoftherest222 · 2018-09-04T17:31:56+00:00

What a classically ironic article.

...in the past few years several of my male colleagues have started families. They all take paternity leave.
...I was recently asked to take on extra project by a colleague who's a new father...I'm stuck in a vicious cycle. The more that my male colleagues have children, the more that I am expected to cover for them and the harder it becomes for me to conceive.
...It's not considered appropriate to push-back when all the new fathers (and there are quite a few of them) expect their still-childless female colleagues to work harder than they do. Nor do any of these men take time to really understand the women they work with or to appreciate the sacrifices they are making for their roles.
...Men in banking need to be more sensitive to this - and to stop crowing about their children and expecting childless female colleagues to pick up the slack when they start dumping work on them and taking extra time off.

It sounds like that work place is doing things right, everyone is being treated equal. If you have kids you work less over time, if you don't have kids you're expected to work more over time. Yet that seems to be unequal for her.

I wonder who was picking up the slack as women were taking maternity leave? Heck only until recently was paternity leave a thing, incidentally it was pushed by people wanted true equality. Which seems like the writer of the article despises. She seems to be blaming fathers for her having to work longer and those hours are taking a toll on her ever decreasing fertility window.

The writer of the article just needs to admit she valued money above having children and now she is turning into an old spinster. She has no one else to blame but herself.

Hankflax · 2018-09-04T17:24:48+00:00

Maybe... Quit your job??

kushpatel3410 · 2018-09-04T17:46:02+00:00

MeN ShoUlD NoT TakE pATernItY LeaVe aS iT INCreaSeS tHe WorKlOaD oF WymAn,WyMan CaN TaKe MAteRnItY LeaVe aS MeN CaN WOrK MoRe tHaN WyMAn

Lethn · 2018-09-04T19:05:14+00:00

For women in finance, the heavy workload, the high stress and the lack of sleep not only make it difficult to find a partner, but are a recipe for hormonal imbalance and infertility.

My male colleagues don't have this dilemma. Not only are they able to have children easily (often with women who work outside banking) but their ability to start families is making it even harder for female bankers like me to do the same.

Translation: The biological realities of being a woman in a demanding career and competing with men are catching up with me but rather than accept that and find a way to deal with the stress like men do I'm just going to blame the men around me instead.

It really is no fucking wonder so many women drop out of these jobs if that is the attitude they genuinely have and like others it's such a stupid opinion that yes I'm wondering if this is satire too.

t's time that this dynamic is openly discussed. Plenty of women my age in finance have the same problem. It's not considered appropriate to push-back when all the new fathers (and there are quite a few of them) expect their still-childless female colleagues to work harder than they do.

Oh how dare those filthy misogynist men treat you like an equal and expect you to work harder than them if you want to get more out of your position! She is in fact complaining about being treated equally in the workplace, every time a feminist gives their version of events it just screams of bullshit, yes, if you want to move up and further your career, you have to work hard holy shit.

It really does seem that feminists are nothing more than naive children who have been sold a total lie that they can quite literally do anything even the biologically impossible and they're quickly discovering when they hit the workplace they crave reality is completely different. After that they then start doing everything they can to undermine the people around them and lash out at men especially who have been making sacrifices for years to get where they are which feminists just aren't willing to do.

I mean for fuck's sake, I'm having a rant but does she not realise the fact that yes even if fathers get to have children they don't always get to see them precisely because they work so much? Does she think she's somehow unique in that way? When you devote yourself to your work you miss out on a lot of opportunities to meet people and find a partner.

This is precisely why so many women prefer to get married in their twenties or get into a long term relationship, now she's realised how fucked she is and she doesn't like it so she's gone and made a stupid blog post on the internet trying to attack men.

I've said it before and I'll say it again, feminists are the very incels they love to mock and attack and are far more dangerous because they have genuine political power.

TheStumblingWolf · 2018-09-04T19:26:42+00:00

I believe that my banking career is making it difficult for me to conceive

She just disqualified any point she'd be making past that sentence. She just wants to be able to point her finger and shift the blame for her poor life choices because it's too tough for her to face herself.

p3ngwin · 2018-09-04T20:31:04+00:00

"working 80 hours a week makes it difficult to make a family, be part of it, and still have a career with lots of money and personal achievement..."

Welcome to equality fuck-face, you've been missed.

TigerRaiders · 2018-09-04T19:52:06+00:00

Same website has this article called “kiss of death ” for men who take paternity leave.

This is a major problem for both men and women, especially in the US, where any kind of leave for new moms or dads, can be a career killer. It’s bad for our society, bad for our education, bad for our health...it’s just bad all around. People need time to be present for their families, both men and women.

Anyone interested, some Canadian companies have some pretty progressive paternity and maternity leave polices. They know that parents that are present are happier, healthier and more productive. Plus, population growth is one of the key factors to their GDP growth, that’s one of the reasons they have such a robust immigration policy.

aerovado · 2018-09-04T18:52:48+00:00

They've come full circle.

Bumgurgle · 2018-09-04T19:18:31+00:00

This is a great article. I’m saving it to bring up as a topic over thanksgiving with my feminazi mother.

corezon · 2018-09-04T19:14:05+00:00

It's amazing how these men find time outside of their 80 hour work weeks to conceive children. Perhaps she should get her fucking priorities straight?

staticsnake · 2018-09-05T00:04:44+00:00

When men work 80 hours a week they're terrible father's and husbands who hate their families. When women work 80 hours a week it's the men's fault.

quesito4 · 2018-09-04T19:22:22+00:00

https://news.efinancialcareers.com/us-en/322194/taking-paternity-leave-kiss-death-bankers

This article disagrees with her. Seems like she had employers nice enough to let people take that leave. There's nothing stopping her from having babies.

DunbarsPhoneNumber · 2018-09-04T19:23:57+00:00

Those comments are encouraging, at least

BellaLiberty · 2018-09-04T19:28:12+00:00

Someone should research how "some people" seem to be either unable or unwilling to own their own shit.

5th_Law_of_Robotics · 2018-09-04T20:21:25+00:00

Yes because clearly it's men who get all this generous leave and who slack off after they have kids....

Kartoffee · 2018-09-04T22:58:56+00:00

The only thing that really bugs me about this is that she blames her male colleagues, not her job. Bitch they did nothing to you!

TibsKirk · 2018-09-05T00:54:46+00:00

" My male colleagues don't have this dilemma. " It's so incredible that the entire article is about how working long hours has negative effects on her health and well-being, while not even pausing to consider the effects on men when they are slaves to a job.

FlatTire2005 · 2018-09-04T17:40:58+00:00

I am surprised people in banking work 80 hours a week (apparently). That is quite a few hours.

But everything else.... wow.

Splatriarchy · 2018-09-04T19:51:36+00:00

"Women can and will work as hard as men, but doing so often comes at a tangible physical cost." So go back to cooking and making babies so we don't have to hear you complain about how hard it is to work like a man. It is articles like this that support the term Wahmen.

MaxStout808 · 2018-09-04T19:15:57+00:00

Just a positive note: scrolling through the comments section on the article, almost everyone is totally unmoved by this ridiculous story. That at least, gives me hope.

harleypig · 2018-09-04T19:20:54+00:00

Isn't this how we got the wage gap? I wonder if the wage gap in her company (field?) is reversed.

I mean, if more men are working less then she is to be with their children, then they're probably making less than she is, right?

nelsonblaha · 2018-09-04T20:58:51+00:00

As a man I get no opportunity to be pregnant at all and it's NOT FAIR

elebrin · 2018-09-04T21:48:06+00:00

Laura McDonald is the pseudonym of a VP level banker in London

boo fuckin hoo. she's probably making upper six figures in that position. YOU chose that career. Take what you have and quit. Then get married and have a kid. In three or four years, take a new position. It will be hard, but most things in life that are worth doing are difficult.

FuckAllLibs · 2018-09-04T18:58:53+00:00

I hear a bunch of crying and whining...that's all I hear

thewonderdo · 2018-09-04T19:39:41+00:00

I'm really astounded by this article, like properly stunned. I genuinely don't know how to articulate my feelings. Someone help me....

thrway_1000 · 2018-09-04T23:35:00+00:00

Archive -- https://archive.is/E4jQy

SupremeIsMe · 2018-09-04T23:49:16+00:00

Men and women are not the same.

Glad we can agree on something

Supernumiphone · 2018-09-05T01:21:07+00:00

There's another important element she seems to have missed. There's a reason her body is unable to conceive. It is too stressed out and unhealthy from her lifestyle. She could not physically support growing a child in her body, so it refuses to allow her to do so. Her body is telling her this and she complains about everything except her own chosen lifestyle.

If she were to conceive and try to carry that pregnancy while continuing with her high-pressure lifestyle, which seems to clearly be her intention, it would likely have very negative health consequences for the baby. She doesn't think about this, doesn't seem to care. Why? Well it seems like it's all about her and what she wants. She wants a baby, and if that baby ends up being unhealthy too bad. Suck it up, baby, she's got work to do.

Her body is telling her to slow down if she wants a baby. I know, she's complaining that she can't slow down because of the pressure of the job, which is everyone else's fault. If only she could get the stress to let up just enough to conceive, then she could carry on as before. Don't you dare try to tell her that her lifestyle is completely wrong for raising a healthy baby.

JFC. There are physical differences between men and women and all of our technology is not enough to eliminate them. Equality can only go so far. At some point you have to acknowledge and respect your limitations and make hard choices. It's not everyone else's fault.

TylerDurden1983 · 2018-09-05T02:30:39+00:00

Women can and will work as hard as men, but doing so often comes at a tangible physical cost.

Guess all my broken bones, torn ligaments, scars, and mental stress issues have nothing to do with me having raising a family and working my ass off because men don't have that problem. Oh well. Guess I'll go apologize to the nearest female co-worker for fucking her life goals up simply by existing.

Oh. I look great too btw. Fuck you bitch.

kobyok · 2018-09-04T19:16:13+00:00

fuckin bank ladies, man. always them

1976103053776 · 2018-09-04T21:15:20+00:00

Lol that sounds like just a normal life except gender swapped. Odd.

FiveMagicBeans · 2018-09-04T23:59:20+00:00

My cousin's the chief cardio pulmonary surgeon for a regional hospital, she has one of the most demanding, time sensitive and stressful jobs possible.

Throughout her practicum she managed to find time to have FOUR gorgeous children that her husband cares for while she's busy at work.

This lady's anecdotal bullshit neither proves not disproves my own anecdotal bullshit. Until some sort of medical study is done to prove clinically that the stress of a high powered job somehow makes women infertile (rather than making them a raving bitch), there's simply no validity to this crap.

belly_bell · 2018-09-05T01:06:20+00:00

To be fair, she's doing a bang up job of pigeon-holing all the women outside of banking as stay at home mothers to support the families of these men.

proteios1 · 2018-09-05T01:45:53+00:00

I am just glad that: a) sh found a way to blame men for her choices b) that feminism realized means a woman behaves like (what she thinks is) a man. c) feminism version of a man is wrong and now realizing the feminist dream has destroyed the female. Ironic? I guess. Sad for both men and women? Definitely.

CountVonVague · 2018-09-04T19:28:38+00:00

Whoa now suddenly men taking time off work to be with their family is female oppression?! imagine my shock

ShepardHeartsCreed · 2018-09-04T21:01:24+00:00

I'm at my bar and I just dropped my phone in actual shock. I just don't know what's happening this generation. It's kinda scary honestly

Mythandros · 2018-09-04T21:24:57+00:00

This must be satire. I had a good laugh at her whining.

It was her choice to choose career over family. She is the only one responsible for that choice. If she wants a family, it's clear she will need to work less. This is normal.

What I found hilarious was her blaming men for her not being able to conceive. Then again, I probably wouldn't want to have kids with her either, she's too much of a whiner and not willing to accept responsibility for choices SHE made. Not exactly a good choice for a partner.

Typical.

Opuz · 2018-09-04T23:36:40+00:00

I haven't laughed out loud for a long time. This article lol

R_Discussion · 2018-09-05T00:15:54+00:00

I'm stuck in a vicious cycle. The more that my male colleagues have children, the more that I am expected to cover for them and the harder it becomes for me to conceive. You can see why I'm annoyed.

Now you know how men feel , stupid cunt. Oh and btw Maternity leave usually lasts ALOT longer.

Wsing1974 · 2018-09-05T11:33:14+00:00

She's absolutely right about banking hours causing infertility. I don't know a single male banker who has been able to get pregnant.

ThePolarisWarrior · 2018-09-05T12:11:21+00:00

This is actually kinda funny, seems like being a good father or bad father, men will always get the blame…

CaseyDafuq · 2018-09-04T22:20:34+00:00

UGH STEALING BILLIONS OF DOLLARS IS SO EXHAUSTING, PITY MY LIFE CHOICES

gnomeChomskii · 2018-09-04T21:32:39+00:00

I wasn't exactly floored by this. I think she actually took a nice step in recognizing that men and women are not the same, and that creates issues.

hatefulreason · 2018-09-04T21:43:02+00:00

"it's sometimes forced upon them" (having children) oh no, if only they could do something about that...

jeff_the_nurse · 2018-09-05T00:38:45+00:00

A TRUE incel!

Revoran · 2018-09-05T02:37:36+00:00

Lmao this is why she is a banker and not a biologist or reproductive scientist.

What a load of hooey.

Camcamcam753 · 2018-09-05T02:38:26+00:00

The comments are very split lol

pjay321 · 2018-09-05T03:46:09+00:00

Whiny narcissistic female.

SOwED · 2018-09-05T05:13:57+00:00

I really want a puppy, but I'm single and work full time and don't have a place that could accommodate a dog.

So I'm not getting a puppy until I'm in a situation conducive to doing so.

StretchTheBubble · 2018-09-05T05:57:44+00:00

Why do they never consider just getting a stay at home husband?

Trumpetfan · 2018-09-05T06:10:32+00:00

Banker working 80 hr weeks. In Europe.

Get the fuck out.

There's a reason people say "banker's hours".

ppanthero · 2018-09-05T06:37:16+00:00

I see - its perfectly fine for men to work hard and rarely see their kids, but whymen are different. They have a right to see their kids while also have a carreer catered to them. I hope she never reproduces.

ademoss3480 · 2018-09-05T07:17:18+00:00

This is possibly the dumbest thing I have ever read.

RezaWasTaken · 2018-09-05T14:16:23+00:00

"For women in finance, the heavy workload, the high stress and the lack of sleep not only make it difficult to find a partner, but are a recipe for hormonal imbalance and infertility."

She says this like Finance is the only job this occurs in.

It's total bull, if she wanted a child so much go make one. She's put herself in this position, there are women out there who aren't able to have children and there are women like this who blame others for a regret they themselves caused.

what an absolute nut job.

1LegendaryWombat · 2018-09-07T03:36:10+00:00

Yeah...no. Men are making you do nothing, you choose to, instead of bringing up this shit, you piss and moan and ultimately don't want to take responsibility.

If you work 80 hours a week, thats your choice, and you're fucking insane for doing it. If you feel like you're having issues with extra work because the boys are being adults, THEN SAY SOMETHING. If you just spend your time writing out internet articles instead of actually working toward your goal of a kid, guess whats not going to happen?

You want special treatment, so fuck you woman. Be a fucking adult.

Pseudonymble · 2018-09-07T20:56:01+00:00

HA!

Hahahahahahaahahahaha ha.

FrattyMcBeaver2 · 2018-09-04T20:49:34+00:00

Good for her, working hard to close the wage gap.

goodmod · 2018-09-04T23:12:46+00:00

This is a good link, but the title of your post does not say enough about its subject. This forces people to click and read before they can decide whether they are interested. It also makes searching impossible.

If everyone did this, the subreddit would become unusable.

So please don't do it. Take the time to describe your link, and save the time of hundreds of other people.

When making a title, it's best to assume the reader doesn't know what you're talking about - but don't go overboard with every detail. Then check if there are any words you can cut out without losing any important information.

viper12a1a · 2018-09-04T23:32:10+00:00

I wonder what ISN'T men's fault.

I wonder when these women will take ANY responsibility for themselves.

donkeyponkey · 2018-09-05T04:59:18+00:00

Insightful title.

chambertlo · 2018-09-05T02:07:03+00:00

This is a good thing. Women like this shouldn’t be reproducing anyway.

gambit87 · 2018-09-05T02:22:12+00:00

I agree with most of the threads in this subreddit but I don't really like most of the replies in this thread. This is a serious problem. I worked in high finance and women do age in dog years working there. I'd meet up with girls I graduated college with and my jaw would drop thinking WTF happened. They used to be hot. Men in this case do have it a bit easier. Women that are like this want someone of similar stature and have a hard time finding it. If they take too much time off they will get cut. Men can usually find someone to take the brunt of the housework though it will destroy families. Most people burn out 2 - 6 years on this "track". It's not meant to be a lifelong career - you make your money and get out.

cwswill · 2018-09-05T01:01:32+00:00

I'm a huge men's rights activist, and I support many things that are in this sub. But this article has a very misleading title, and if you do read the article it does make sense.

Surtysurt · 2018-09-04T21:12:42+00:00

80 hours at a bank? Is it open 24/7 and doesn't have ATMs? As far as banking goes... the fuck is so stressful? Most of it, if not all, should be automated.

Title	I'm done
Author	caelum52
Upvotes	1044
Comments	238
Date	September 4, 2018 5:15 PM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/9cxp2x/im_done/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/im-done.1185341 https://theredarchive.com/post/1185341

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