Men are opting out.

ButWhatOfGlen · 2024-01-19T13:57:42+00:00

I have opted out as well. I live in the country now after my wife ghosted me mid cancer treatment and then asked for divorce/money etc. I escaped that but was deeply hurt, I didn't want to live anymore. It's been 2.5 years since then and I haven't dated once. Don't care to. I see women for what they are now. I'm still attracted to them physically but am no longer willing to risk anything on their behalf.

Society? It's a complete shit show these days. It's been getting worse and worse for decades. I'm out.

denisc9918 · 2024-01-19T13:15:04+00:00

You're not alone mate.

This is the mgtow mindset that an ever increasing number of men are adopting.

Mac_McAvery · 2024-01-19T13:05:15+00:00

I went through a divorce in 2020 and I have not dated or been with an another woman since. My main goal is to be able to buy my own house on my own without a woman.

I’ve been living on my own in a one bedroom apartment since and it hasn’t been easily financially.

Rent it high where I’m at and have child support from a three day summer fling that was the result of drunken blacked out night.

Going through what I have with divorce and the child support system has definitely changed me and my outlook on dating.

I definitely will never look at women the same anymore and realize men have No Equality when it comes to divorce and the child support system.

 Sincerely, Paper Abortion Rights supporter

conspirized · 2024-01-19T14:20:09+00:00

I think that we have a system that discriminates against men, family court, and everyone knows it. The risk that a man is undertaking by tying himself to a woman is too high. If he doesn't encounter one that can dissuade those risks and actually earn his trust, he's not going to marry. Couple that with the shifting attitudes of women, like... how many of you have made the mistake of going out on a date with a woman that openly declares herself a Feminist on her dating profile? It only takes one. Anyway, couple it with that kinda shit: and you've got the perfect recipe for "Naw, I'm good."

Doesn't help that we're constantly bombarded with messaging that tells us how awful women think we are, how we all share a collective responsibility for women that are raped, false allegations and the lack of repercussions or reprisals for the women that openly engage in that kind of behavior... it's like, yeah: if you let this shit get to you I can totally see why you're done.

It's not just a "Men" thing, either. Women are backing out, too. We've fostered an environment where it's "Men vs Women" instead of "Men and Women." Men are oppressors, the patriarchy, all we want is to get in girls' pants, men are the boot on the necks of all the women being held back in the world. It's reaching the point where they don't want to have shit to do with us, either.

You've got several decades of people that have been treated poorly by the opposite sex, and then subsequently been told that every member of the opposite sex is like that person. You go online in a rage, and get told by other bitter, rage-filled people that "your feelings are valid, get used to it bro / sis, that's just how women / men are." Social media, including places like this one, is a toxin that exacerbates the existing problem.

There is, undoubtedly, a collective of reasons. I don't date much anymore, either. I probably would if my circumstances better allowed for it, I've always enjoyed dating, but I'm not desperate to get married. I haven't been in an actual relationship that lasted longer than three months in over 15 years. For me, the reasoning is actually very simple: I had a son, I went through the nightmare of family courts, and I decided that I'm never going to allow myself to be vulnerable like that again. The cost is too high, and the attitudes I've observed from the people around me have only reinforced the notion that I made the right decision.

I don't know what the fix is, beyond expanding your social circle. Being a hermit isn't good for anyone. You've gotta find friends with similar values, and stick to them. Preferably a mixed bag, so the gals will bring in more gals and yadda yadda. Fuck the Internet, forget the propaganda, just focus on the people and things that are directly involved in your life and what you can do about them.

fallen4567 · 2024-01-19T22:33:22+00:00

I hate to come in here and be labeled "a passport bro" but I travel alot and work in a field that allows me to live anywhere with extended time off. I dated a kenyan woman for 2 years, unfortunately that didn't work out for various reasons but I just got a place in the dominican republic and am dating a woman here. What I'm trying to say is that once I realized how different women are in other countries, i was really blown away. It really is way better almost anywhere else compared to the United States. Maybe give it a shot if possible. I don't even think about american women in any way whatsoever anymore.

NameIs-Already-Taken · 2024-01-19T14:33:27+00:00

I am with you 100%, Moving out was such a relief. So much less stress. Us guys are simple- we want food, sex, respect and peace for most of us to be happy most of the time... and modern feminism tries to stop all of these, with the result that guys are as happy being single as in a relationship.

9chars · 2024-01-19T18:33:03+00:00

"Give everything receive nothing" describes virtually almost every single relationship with any woman I have ever had.

Illustrious_Bus9486 · 2024-01-19T14:00:11+00:00

Same thing I did 30 years ago.

Bubbly-Character3924 · 2024-01-20T01:57:46+00:00

Not a surprise, masculinity is under attack in western society. Women act like men. There is no incentive for men to get married. Divorce laws only favors women. You can’t even look at a woman without being accused of sexual harassment. The cost of living is astronomical. Dads are looked at as the incompetent parent. The cards are stacked against men. I feel for the young men coming up in this day and age.

PeonSupremeReturns · 2024-01-19T14:27:04+00:00

I support your decision. So does Charles Mackay:

Men, it has been well said, think in herds; it will be seen that they go mad in herds, while they only recover their senses slowly, one by one.

https://www.goodreads.com/quotes/289693-men-it-has-been-well-said-think-in-herds-it

Feminism is just another extraordinary popular delusion.

MapleWatch · 2024-01-19T14:30:23+00:00

I took another girlfriend after my divorce. But I made it pretty clear that I have no plans to marry her, since I'm not willing to risk the damage that another divorce would do to my retirement.

Lucky for me, she's in complete agreement. Her ex is somehow even worse then mine.

Fezzaaaaa · 2024-01-19T14:17:06+00:00

Is Scotland super liberal!? My ex wife of three weeks was Scottish! She was accusing me of everything and didn’t like a classical man, prefers a lady grey type man!

Dashing2025 · 2024-01-19T14:57:51+00:00

It's good to opt out of toxic societal expectations, but one can still benefit from participating in the marketplace to enjoy the technological, medical, and hygienic products and services.

Sea2Chi · 2024-01-19T14:58:12+00:00

I worry about people opting out of platonic relationships.

Romantic ones, sure, there's nothing wrong with being happy by yourself.

But people are social animals, so I think not having that support network could be detrimental to your mental wellbeing.

Loud-Mathematician76 · 2024-01-19T17:44:08+00:00

100% ...the game is rigged against us. I don't play rigged games

MrInbetweenn01 · 2024-01-20T04:45:48+00:00

I think the main issue today is a combination of the changing behavior of women as in general they are behaving more and more like men which I can understand as they are equal now in every way.

They often out earn men and that fact is at odds with the hardwired instinct to only respect a man that is better at providing than they are. Sure there are relationships that may work where the woman significantly out earns the husband but they are very rare over the long term.

Becoming a house husband or earning significantly less is the fast track to your wife engaging in tag team activities at the Friday night boardroom meetings because why not, she does not actually respect you and it is fun.

Then we now have the vast information gathered over at least 15 years from places like tinder that tell us exactly how unimportant we actually are in a womans life. If you die or fall off the face of the earth and she is even slightly attractive then you will be quickly replaced.

Couple that with the fact that 90% of divorces involving a degree educated woman will end in divorce and I ask you, would you board that aircraft with that knowledge?

The constant belittling our society continually pushes in our face and the reinforcement that women can never do anything that is not empowering and inspirational meanwhile anything a man does is viewed critically.

The happy wife happy life crap and the complete expectation that a nagging unpleasant wife who is irrational, nasty and will walk all over you is something to be thankful for repulses me.

I have been divorced 10 years now and have not so much as gone on a date. My marriage was actually not too bad and the divorce was very mild (cost $600 which I think she may have paid) but I actually had a pretty good one looking back and what makes me walk away is not my prior experience so much as the wealth of information we now have on the behavior of women and the likelihood of failure.

When I got married it had been to a woman I had been with for 11 years and never once did I consider that it would not be for life. Back then I was not aware of the fact that the chance of that happening was slim to none.

So the main problem is the amount of accurate information we have on the likelihood of a relationship lasting as well as the batshit crazy behaviors you thought were just unique to your own situation turns out to be basically female nature and is universal.

Then there is the risk of losing everything you worked for and if you have kids having them used as a weapon in a process that is extreme in its lack of fairness.

My view is only a moron would consider marriage with all the information we now have. I certainly would not have got married if I had this knowledge when I was younger.

As a side note, I opt back in to society at least a couple times a year when I visit Thailand. I prefer the upfront method of payment, it works out cheaper in the long run and you do not over invest into something and end up feeling hurt.

Just make sure you do not spend more than 3 days with one lady or risk becoming attached.

***The best analogy is that if you had a 1000 foot sheer cliff to climb but could only see ahead 5 feet so you did not know where the top was, you would start climbing not knowing that 90% of climbers fall to their death before getting to the top versus what we have today.

Today we can see the entire cliff face before we start the climb and so most men are going "f*ck that I am going back to bed" so the end result is less men scaling that cliff.

Neo_Godslayer · 2024-01-20T06:34:12+00:00

Same here. 39 years old, last date i had was 12 years ago. I have given up. On so many things. Not only women. I dont really care for much anymore. Life is exhausting, cruel and pointless.

Thal-creates · 2024-01-19T13:43:58+00:00

I dont opt out. Keeping storng relationships with other men only.

I guess im lucky I also can be romantic with men

Cowboy71113 · 2024-01-19T15:26:56+00:00

Not alone at all, I’m right there with you, I even found a wife who’s the same way, so now we are both opting out of society. There’s 2 worlds that I see. My world, and society’s world. My world’s pretty chill, lots of snacks and gaming and laughing, and unfortunately I go to work but no world can be perfect. Then there’s society’s world, and that place is just the worst. Do you man, you’re winning as far as I’m concerned 👌🏻

walterwallcarpet · 2024-01-19T14:40:58+00:00

Fellow Scot here. I live in the middle of nowhere, but can see mountains and the sea from my window, both of which make me incredibly happy. This is the story of my father, myself and my sons. Will make it free for a couple of days, starting tomorrow, Sat 20th. There's no catch. https://www.amazon.in/Making-Mundane-Monsters-only-brain-ebook/dp/B0C1GYSCBB/ref=sr_1_1?dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.SJYvMVT2AngGZaviiVo7Vpn2khu1mzDLzlUaahaki9S03LMpzNthpWib9Azm2pmVb2l75BtRYng6Izqpv5RaXw.f44cWGoAjiyf0qt8p5xLEB7FtyodRQf2tQsWwzWB2Uo&dib_tag=se&qid=1705674914&refinements=p_27%3ADan+Murdoch&s=books&sr=1-1

Lucretius · 2024-01-19T16:51:12+00:00

First women are only half of society by the numbers at birth so you would think that toxic femininity would never be sufficient justification or explanation for men opting out of ALL society. However, to a signifigant degree it is. It is worth the time to deconstruct WHY that is the case.

Women live longer than men and thus as one gets older more of your peer-group is dominated by women and a woman's perspective. (There are a few intrinsic biological reasons that contribute to this but tge longer female lifespan can mostly be explained through differences in suicide ratios, dangerous profession ratios, and discressionary preventative healthcare spending ratios between men and women).
In terms of class-room behavior, girls are less disruptive and more tractable than boys from the teacher's perspective, so until one is out of elementary/middle school girls will dominate one's peer group. This is all the more true because women dominate the profession of teaching younger children.
Women gravitate towards social-gate-keeper employment… administrative assistants, HR, teachers, product reps, etc. This gives them outsized power to dictate the rules of engagement, socially, of the systems they administer. This is made more intense by the fact that they live longer. Think about it: how many times, have you found that the social dynamic of the department you work/study in has been dictated by the sensibilities of the semi-petrified 70 year old secretary who has been running the deparmental office for 40 years?

So even though women are only very slightly more than half of all society by the numbers, their perspectives and sensibilities overwhelmingly dominate how it operates.

Understanding this is important because once one looks at the mechanisms that lead to this outcome, one sees that the out-sized social power that women is mostly a consequnce of men CHOOSING to give that power to them. MEN are the ones that choose to not enter fields like, HR. MEN are the ones who don't try to control the structure of education. MEN are the ones who don't go to therapy or get routinely checked by their doctors until they crack and off themselves or die of some preventable condition like heart disease. MEN are the ones who choose to become soldiers and police officers and fire fighters and any number of other heroic jobs that risk an untimely demise.

The solution of this problem of female domination of social systems can only ever come from MEN. And it is NOT a complex solution nor a difficult one nor one that has not worked in the past. The trick is to not become women and make the sorts of employment and lifestyle they would make and thus compete at their own game. No, that's a loser's choice. Rather, men must create and maintain male-only spaces for male socialization on male terms. Historically these have taken many forms from reading rooms in libraries to gentelman's clubs, to professional societies. The modern world is shaped differently, so some of these forms won't do, but the superficial form is irrelevant to the underlying principle. That said two things must be understood from the very beginning if such an enterprise is to succeed:

The Male-Social-Space is NOT a retreat. Actually it is an attack. Men, an male-sensibilities, have given rise to amazing advances in the human condition. Male-social-spaces, whenever they manage to exist, always end of shaping the world. They do so through the output of male social bonds. That output is a streem of inventions, and literature, and conquests, and explorations, and discoveries, and compositions that enrich the entire world, male and female.
Male-Social-Spaces have been under systematic and deliberate attack by the leftist activist elements of feminism. Any such space that one attempted to construct in the modern day would have to be designed from day one and continuously on every subsequent day to resist all four steps of the Leftist Inclusivity Cycle.

GermanWineLover · 2024-01-19T17:47:33+00:00

What kind if academic fields are you into?

jessi387 · 2024-01-19T17:56:43+00:00

Ya same. I’m 29 and just trying to figure out how to make a living so I can live go r myself. I wish there weren’t so many women in so many industries cuz it makes it difficult to avoid, but I’m sure eventually I’ll find a way to accomplish my goals.

ConflictedRebl · 2024-01-19T19:13:39+00:00

What I’ve seen is men afraid of women. They seem afraid of every women implicating them in some way or another.

Men seem traumatized. For the most part men seem to be complying to how they believe society wants them to behave.

Every single one I’ve opened a door for seems extremely grateful. I notice men are always waiting for me to go first, they are the only ones in the store who seem to notice when their wife or girlfriend is not paying attention to her surroundings and they do their best to gently usher her out of the way.

Those who have opted out, I don’t blame you, but your absence is not helping men. We need your balance. Men need you out there. They are out numbered.

Mechamiclas · 2024-01-19T22:56:49+00:00

Can't opt out if women I've met never gave me a chance to opt in in the first place. 🙃👍

kochIndustriesRussia · 2024-01-19T23:16:13+00:00

You're not alone. Have a gf tho... she's not the western standard female i.e. doesn't argue much and understands that when I say "thats enough" I'm expressing a boundary, not interested in more riveting academic discourse about how her idea is the better one 😉. Otherwise tho...I was full monk mode before we met and I was already comfortable with the idea of staying single forever. I was actually happy... for the first time in 25 years of adulthood/ relationships with women.

Rutibex · 2024-01-20T02:07:15+00:00

I'm pretty opted out too. There really isn't anything for me in modern society and all I want is as much free time as possible to read.

bizguy4life · 2024-01-20T02:08:32+00:00

Your not the only one brother...🤜🤛

Signal-Quality8961 · 2024-01-20T02:14:06+00:00

I'm with you. Veteran Purple Heart recipient, Master of Science, father of 4 with no criminal background. My ex, who isn't even an American citizen, used 3 different names, changed her race, and contradicted herself numerous times in the filing of said PO. The judge looks at her and looks at me - she has titties, so he grants the PO. Thank these hard-working, law-laying, wreckers of mens' lives. Most judges are spineless cowards, and they side with females by default, like putting men away increases their chance of gaining favor with women. I opted out too. I don't need a woman; they're just not worth the risk. It's gonna be funny when real shit kicks off and these women are left to fend for themselves. Good luck.

Co1dyy1234 · 2024-01-20T02:48:02+00:00

I’ve been single my entire life. I’ve tried very hard to be more attractive to some and o feel like it’s all been for nothing. Women only either Friendzoned me or want nothing to do with me. As of this point, I’ve completely put aside any interest in finding love in exchange for focusing on building a career for myself.

I’ve come to realize that some women prefer men who are financially & emotionally stable; I won’t find love until I’m ready, and when I do, I will choose carefully.

Joneboy39 · 2024-01-20T05:07:24+00:00

funny because their toxicity and man blaming causes men to pull away, now because u wont play their game you are an incel . and the toxic women ask where all the good men went

LeoLittlebook6 · 2024-01-20T06:08:00+00:00

Men do not need women.

Women will learn this the hard way.

gmskking · 2024-01-19T16:02:53+00:00

Same here. I have zero interest in being in a relationship. I realized that I am happy being single and that being in a relationship would jeopardize that. I have friends that have similar views so that definitely helps. I love women don't get me wrong just do not want to be tied to a relationship. I value my freedom to do whatever, whenever I want.

Fofotron_Antoris · 2024-01-19T21:45:40+00:00

Reminds me of the "Tang Ping/Lying Flat" movement among men in China.

The plight of modern men is global.

404Dawg · 2024-01-20T00:25:02+00:00

Are you sure this isn’t quarantine PTSD? I used to be extremely extroverted before covid but after living indoors away from society for 2.5 years, im not sure how to assimilate back into society. Im in therapy for it fyi. But Ive come out the other side of Covid a changed human

Chama-HUH · 2024-01-20T04:57:52+00:00

I just wanna get rich and buy a house with a lot of land. I’ll get a surrogate and have kids.

imhariiguess · 2024-01-20T10:10:20+00:00

The more I browse the internet these days the more I feel like you do. I've turned 20 couple months back, so it's not like I've lived much life, but damn if it doesn't feel depressing seeing the state of society these days

Former-Dragonfly2226 · 2024-01-20T10:28:34+00:00

Very similar here. I had kids with the now ex wife. She, children’s services, and wider society has made me fear to socialise. A poignant time in the last few years was the law against men staring at women (but not women staring at men) and the like. If you’re not celebrated by women you’re now considered a danger to society.

markieboy99 · 2024-01-20T13:00:54+00:00

Dropped out years ago

hardenup12345 · 2024-01-20T13:15:10+00:00

No, you are far from feeling alone, I think a lot of younger men are opting out of marriage and relationshps in general.

From what I've seen relationships are often like jobs. You both put your best foot forward and start out on your best behavior. Then there is a honeymoon period where everything is great and rosy, and you are both completely into each other. Then over time the novelty wears off and you start to accumulate grievances. I've lost count of the number of women I have seen who started off in the 'love phase', and listened to them over the years as the relationship eventually devolved in complaints about a chore not being done, or having some spat with the mother-in-law, or some insensitive comment, or how their partner is a big child.

I watched a video some time back about prognostic indicators for long-lasting relationships, and one major indicator was seeing the best in your partner and giving them the benefit of the doubt. Unfortunately I think this is hard for a lot of women to do in regards to men, since commonly consumed media portrays men in a bad light.

3DFutureman7 · 2024-01-20T13:21:10+00:00

No you are NOT alone!

Welcome to MGTOW Monkmode. It can last for as long as you need especially as it did for me after therapy too. Then shortly afterwards I got my passport in 2014 and travelled. I recommend Thailand or Philippines (they are Catholic there).

gre2704 · 2024-01-20T13:42:00+00:00

You are not alone and it is not only due to your beliefs or political leaning.

I am an atheist and politically fairly liberal (not that shitshow that is called liberal nowadays but real liberalism), also well read and educated and in a healthy relationship.

I started out as a depressed introvert, got over my depressions by myself (don't do that by the way, get professional help if you suffer - it's way less painful that way) and am now slightly extroverted.

Once I wanted to better society, argued over and over again and didn't understand why nobody could see the world and its problems for what it is. Now I work a decent job that pays decent money for me to have a comfortable life and retirement. I have checked out of the race to the top. Why should I sacrifice my time, mental health and health just to earn more money and status if I have enough now? To impress women? Fuck that! If my relationship fails, I'm never dating again. I just don't have the stomach for it anymore.

And why should I try to better society? I am nobody to anyone in power. The laws of society are against me and politicians avoid changing that like the plague.

Fuck society, let it burn! I'll roast marshmallows over the flames. Ihave no more stake in it.

Lonewolf_087 · 2024-01-20T15:43:49+00:00

I’m not opting out of society just kind of soft quitting on dating. I don’t see many redeeming qualities in being in a romantic relationship. I don’t want to be someone’s checkbook or another set of hands for them to use I refuse for it to become that. I refuse to be looking over my shoulder every 10 minutes wondering who else is in her little dm inbox. I’m not going to fall ill of health then get yelled at for not doing the laundry or dishes. It’s not how it was supposed to be. Relationships were never made to be one sided yet most all of them end up being that way these days. I’ll participate in society for myself and to help other people who will appreciate my assistance. I’ll hold to my faith and know that someday things will be the way they should.

ComparisonClean7249 · 2024-01-20T16:11:37+00:00

Nope you are not alone

MilitantMayonaise · 2024-01-20T16:22:35+00:00

Reject society, embrace Christ

Agile_Potato9088 · 2024-01-20T18:59:59+00:00

I'm opting out because I am happier being single and I enjoy being alone. Alone, not lonely.

I also have no faith in the Law. Until the Law starts protecting me and I see positive action and dialogue towards Men's Rights, I completely disregard and want nothing to do with any Woman.

tartankimono · 2024-01-20T21:22:31+00:00

I live in Japan. I feel sorry for the men back home (Scotland). My wife and the women I dated before are such a refreshing difference to the toxic women back home. I heartedly recommend Asian countries like Thailand or Japan for a different experience all together. Keep going brothers.

DaJosuave · 2024-01-20T23:38:30+00:00

Take your time, but if your still young jaut keep an eye out for a good woman.

I feel like your post is posing the question of whether or not you should continue to find friends or not.

Friends are great, have them.

Wheekie · 2024-01-19T15:36:16+00:00

Nope, not alone at all. I have no interest in dating/marriage/parenthood. Add that to my sexual orientation (ace) and it's quite amusing seeing a virtual loading icon appear above the average person's head as I completely do not follow societies expectations while I myself go on my own journey of self-refinement.

neveragoodtime · 2024-01-19T16:15:03+00:00

We still need you in society. I understand the desire and need to take a break, but keep yourself open to chances to re-engage, with your church, gym, friends, whoever. You’ll find a path in time. There are men out there who don’t care what you look like, how much money you make, or what degrees you have. Find them and help them build bridges to other men who are quietly disappearing. No man is an island and we need help building boats.

Unforgiven_639 · 2024-01-19T15:54:36+00:00

Yeah. I'm certainly stepping back and have accepted that there's a good chance that there's no future relationship for me. I don't have the time, energy, or mental capacity to deal with that right now. I want to get myself a motorcycle and call it a day. Much more attainable and will bring lots of joy.

kkkan2020 · 2024-01-19T17:14:29+00:00

I think the issue is we were sold a script and unfortunately there was no guarantee that you would actually have the script play out for you ... I mean imagine a world where everything was guaranteed to you. Income, spouse, children, housing, friends..... See what a big difference that would be.😐

permiecandy · 2024-01-19T16:55:19+00:00

I'm a woman and I see this a lot, but I can't blame any man for opting out when he's faced with things as they are. I would opt out, too. I genuinely feel bad for modern men. If I was a man and still actually wanted to date, I'd be very cautious and really look out for myself. Things are ridiculous these days. It's sad that you even have to be that way, but it's the truth. And, YES, there absolutely IS toxic feminism.

amazorman · 2024-01-19T17:12:07+00:00

I think its ok. I haven't quite opted out all my coworkers are females luckily I work remote. I try to be cordial with them they don't really bother me either. That said relationship wise it sucks I kind of realize I won't be able to date anyone who is the same attractive level as me. When I do its a nightmare on how annoying or entitled they are. Dating down on the looks department women are less annoying but oof. Its just rough right now.

DJ-K-Money · 2024-01-19T17:23:47+00:00

I really like that term “opting out”. I’d say I’m opting out of relationships with women currently. I was hurt in a long term relationship and forced to sell my home.

I’ve since recovered, with the help of therapy, but have no desire to pursue the modern woman. My believe that feminism plays a part in that, but it’s more of the overall mentality of women today where they feel entitled to everything but accept little to no accountability for their own actions.

But above all, I’m not interested in dating the modern woman, because the modern woman is mostly unhappy with herself. She’ll attempt to fool you with social media, but the modern woman is just generally unhappy. And I don’t want to be responsible for someone else’s happiness.

SmartPriceCola · 2024-01-19T17:36:08+00:00

Another person in Scotland!🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿

I’m still open to a long term relationship but I’m never going to be married. I’ve learned reality of marriage ahead of time thankfully!

DMFan79 · 2024-01-19T17:40:06+00:00

I'll be 45 in less than a month, I leave behind a divorce and a series of failed relationships.

I've spent most of my life alone, so, to me, the choice of opting out came pretty naturally.

But at my age it gets easier, for several reasons. It's been a few decades now that men have been self sufficient and don't need someone else to cook for them, wash and iron their clothes or start up the dishwasher.

I've grown up in the 80s and I remember watching a lot of "coming of age" movies, a genre that was common back then. I spent my youth wishing for the kind of stories you saw in those movies, you may say I was a romantic fool.

But the years passed and that story never got reality. I was good looking, practiced sport, but I was naive and picky. Being a romantic never really pays off, despite what people think.

By the time I realized this, I was already falling behind my peers: they had a girlfriend while I was still looking for the right one.

You can work on yourself to change a lot of things, but if you try changing your dreams you end up empty handed, or worse.

In the end, what I got was a good amount of bad matches and bad experiences until I met what is now my ex wife, that gave me a son and a lot of grief.

Now I look around me and I only see a lot of sadness.

I refuse to generalize, I know there are a lot of good women out there, but I'm sick of selling myself. It's not worth it.

My goal now is to give my son all the tools he needs to start his own life. I hope he'll be able to find his happiness, despite everything.

As I said, being alone gets easier with age and time and if you find yourself in a place where you see a relationship as a burden, then the best option is to accept the fact you can be fine, even without a partner.

As long as we don't lie to ourselves, we can find happiness or at least serenity. Nobody deserves being with someone who makes you miserable.

So, I wish you all to find your own dimension and to let go of any negativity. This is the best answer that men can give the world.

Maverick-_1 · 2024-01-19T20:21:18+00:00

I've totally opted out of society with the exception of mandatory needs and filings, etc..

SampleHistorical9352 · 2024-01-19T20:40:00+00:00

Do you really blame them? They are constantly told by society that everything is their fault and that their problems mean nothing. So yeah why would they want to be part of a society that hates them?

mylazybutt · 2024-01-19T20:41:06+00:00

I've been through false accusations, unfair court system, unfair schools and jobs that promote women to fill quotas while men do most of the work. I was pretty depressed for a long time by the obvious injustice. Then I chanced upon the old saying that 'rigged games are the easiest to win'. After scamming and cheating for a while I was doing well materially, but it took a toll mentally. Unless you are a sociopath or otherwise lacking in empathy it is big strain to cheat and lie, even in a rigged system. I eventually opted out and now just try to avoid getting hurt, the mental framework I adopted is of walking through a jungle where every leaf and rock is masking a hidden danger. Its not fun, but it is tolerable. In the long run there will eventually be a war or natural disaster and then men will be shamed for not stepping up and sacrificing to protect society and women. I hope I live long so I can say a big 'F U' to all who ask for my help. (except men, I do go out of my way to help my brothers and always will)

SeaZone8 · 2024-01-19T20:55:38+00:00

Men are opting out because they get gaslit over everything. We aren't allowed to acknowledge or observe out loud. So we're in our heads all the time exasperated because we know we aren't crazy.

Sure_Estimate8140 · 2024-01-20T02:00:03+00:00

It's rather recent where I found that the world leaders of elitists want to control the world population. It's these greedy top 5% that view the world in this way. The ones that have a reason to be scared of the rest of the world population. destroying the nuclear family unit by putting money into liberal or progressive politics. I've heard of George Soros putting money into left leaning politics and in academia in 2013. to receive the outcome we have today , though it's evident that this has been going on for decades before that. Women are are , the most part, happy the way things are. they bought into this ideology lock stock and barrel. They get government subsidies for birth control. they have their version of affirmative action in the workforce and in academia and most of them are so lazy. Looking for some simp to take the load off. all you man out there have to pay attention and take a good look around and not participate. Don't be their Superman. They do manipulation very well. They barley have to try. Use that time for yourself and get off your asses. Men are waking up, yes but , but it's not enough. still to many guys out there that still believe in this Disney fairytale that we're sold at a young age. It's bullshit. It ain't happening. You'll be stuck paying alimony and child support. This is how women will be elevated in society ,and men in the poor house, so to speak.

lexpython · 2024-01-19T15:56:46+00:00

I broke up with my last girlfriend in 2020 when she refused to mask, get a vaccine, or take any precautions to prevent Covid. I work IT, and most of my clients are elderly, so I have to be extra careful and she just wasn't interested in doing that.

Since then, I haven't really been very interested in dating in my small town. I have a small group of friends, and I realized the other day: all of my friends read books, and are some of the only people i know that do. In my country, very few people read books, and are generally retarded.

I am also not interested in meeting a woman through an app. You either have chemistry or you don't and an app doesn't detect that. There aren't a lot of really good-looking women in my town, and each of them has a entourage of men around them.

I don't think Feminism has anything do with it, but perhaps that could be a factor as well. I'm firmly pro-equality of the genders, but not interested in emasculation ans misandry.

In my town, polyamory is very popular as well, and I'm not even slightly interested in that lifestyle.

Fortunately, I am good company and don't mind being alone at all. I do a radio show and listen to music a whole lot. I am lucky to live in a beautiful place with access to nature so I hike and exercise outside whenever I can. And I do have friends, just not romantic ones, and I don't see them often.

I guess I realized I don't really like the game, especially the modern version. I'm glad to hear other people are experiencing similar disinterest.

asianfoodtofulover · 2024-01-19T13:53:53+00:00

What does emotional terrorist mean?

walterwallcarpet · 2024-01-19T17:19:37+00:00

Religion (for all its pitfalls) is a bit of a moral exoskeleton - a shared set of beliefs which once helped us relate to our neighbours. Its disintegration causes anomie - societies with no shared moral order. Women always held the dominant moral authority on the domestic scene, and, as the proxies of their children, evolutionary forces allows them to demand resources from the male (and now the state) on the child's behalf. Religion, and its influence on society, was a male-led counterbalance, contributing cultural and social optimisation factors, much more liable to be undermined by attack on the culture. Out of the Abrahamic religions, Christianity has proven least resistant to the birth control pill, the ensuing sexual revolution, rationality, science, and the determined march of feminism, aided and abetted by powerful, almost insuperable forces. https://www.un.org/en/conferences/women/beijing1995 Unfortunately, this has allowed evolutionary female morals (teleological, naturalistic, utilitarian, materialistic) to be imposed on the wider world, displacing the male morals (deontic, idealistic) on which civilisations were built. The work of Denise D Cummins indicates that the deontic advantage of civilisation was founded on male behaviours. https://link.springer.com/referenceworkentry/10.1007/978-3-319-19650-3_2620

Mycroft033 · 2024-01-19T20:29:08+00:00

Maybe a few pets might help stave off the inevitable loneliness that social isolation produces

himariiii · 2024-01-19T15:51:39+00:00

The juice ain't worth the squeeze.

rippierippo · 2024-01-20T02:51:44+00:00

I opted out of society as well. My marriage taught me never to deal with women again. Yes, good women out there but they are needle in the haystack. My wife is a bully. She abused me mentally throughout marriage leading to my brain damage. Little sex in 8 years of marriage. I lost my drive too. How many times will you beg? I stopped. In my country, marriage is lifetime. No sex, no intimacy, no affection at all. All my dreams and hopes evaporated after seeing my wife's behavior. It is just insane that men opt to marry even after so much abuse done on them. Adding insult to the wound, you have to pay substantial money on divorce and on top of that you get fake accusations. Something is terribly wrong with the system or myself for getting this very bad experience.

Recording_Important · 2024-01-19T15:33:04+00:00

Nope

granadilla-sky · 2024-01-19T19:00:22+00:00

No, I don't think they are, and I don't see why they would. So you had a relationship that went sour, what so special about that?

BetSuspicious6989 · 2024-01-19T20:01:54+00:00

I understand all the points here and agree with most all of them. My question is why can’t yall still date? I’ve got boundaries that I will absolutely not break for anyone. I’ve had to break it off with women I absolutely effing adored and it suuuuucccckkkkeeeed. But because I know the game and how to play it I moved on. She can only do what you allow her to do. Don’t let her move in don’t get married don’t get exclusive. Find a group of men to hang out with. Start a weekly poker game or anything similar. Again I’ll say it she only has access to what you allow her to have access to. Having the ability to walk away is amazing. Having the freedom and knowing you made the right choice is a feeling of nirvana. Yall know the truth now just play it to your advantage. The anger stage sucks but you have the cheat codes now. Stop living this i have to be this virtuous man life. It’s a scheme to get you to produce.

Beelzeboss3DG · 2024-01-19T15:56:45+00:00

Ive been alone for years (my last relationship of 5y ended 4y ago, Im 36) but I do miss having a partner. Sure, there are tons of women out there who hate men, but there are also TONS of good women. Is it a huge risk to trust a woman again? sure. But its worth it.

STylerMLmusic · 2024-01-19T17:15:55+00:00

You should speak to a therapist about your feelings instead of blaming half of the population of the world for the crimes of the few women you've interacted with in your life.

Brandknockout · 2024-01-19T20:14:20+00:00

notallwomen

ZestyFreshh · 2024-01-19T13:02:50+00:00

I think a lot of men that are angry at women are choosing not to deal with them. This is great for men and women since men don’t have to deal with women they don’t like. And women don’t have to deal with men that don’t like them.

Plus it leaves more women for the men that aren’t angry at them.

Everyone wins.

Alternative_Poem445 · 2024-01-20T03:42:39+00:00

men are opting out for more reasons then just toxic feminism. toxic capitalism is a good reason at least here in the US

Azbastus_Bombastus · 2024-01-20T04:16:01+00:00

I dont need women im pan i can just be with cute man.

redsky36122 · 2024-01-21T23:19:02+00:00

In my case, it's as much about the feminization of men as it is feminist women.

To borrow from a recent post I read: Most "normie".....make that low information pop culture sheep..... men and women approach relationships as a fact and fault-finding mission, with a degree of arrogance that can only come from a profound absence of self-awareness. They have no idea what their role is in the encounter or how to properly support their partners. They act as saboteurs rather than facilitators. Most reasonable men (but few women) have tired of this.

mejakola · 2024-01-22T07:37:48+00:00

Agreed

loldave87 · 2024-01-22T23:52:00+00:00

Is dating even worth it anymore? I don’t plan to ever marry in the west. I’m straight, but honestly I feel like modern dating is dead. I make above the median income but still progressing my career. When I browse tinder I see so many women with either a bachelor or master degree. So they are probably either making what I’m making or more. By many women standards my income is considered low. The game of online dating like tinder is rigged. I don’t go to bars honestly don’t enjoy it. I gotta admit I might be a little awkward that women don’t find attractive. I’m an introvert. I’ve worked on my social skills the past two years and it’s gotten a lot better.

I’m starting to think I’m going to be a forever alone cat dad.

Title	Men are opting out.
Author	skivi1690
Upvotes	516
Comments	232
Date	January 19, 2024 12:53 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/19aif7j/men_are_opting_out/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/men-are-opting-out.1243349 https://theredarchive.com/post/1243349

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