The worst double standard.

zippppp · 2012-05-22T13:54:00+00:00

What am I supposed to do?

What are you supposed to do? Whatever you goddamn please.

If you want to cry out in pain and ask for help when you stub your toe, do it. If you feel like 'sucking it up', do it. If you feel emotional and want to cry, do it. If you feel emotional but want to shrug it off, do it. If you want to pay for a woman on a date, do it. If you would rather split, do it and dont date anyone who will make you do otherwise. Heck, if you want to only date women who will pay for everything, do it.

The fact that people label you negatively for your choices is a problem in regards to sexism towards males, but it DOESN'T mean you cannot conduct yourself exactly how you please anyway. I'd say the same to a woman - yes, it is a problem that society expects them to shave their legs and other hairy body parts to be considered feminine or 'dateable', but it's not a law that they HAVE to. They may get labelled all sorts of things for it if they refuse, maybe they wont get a date, but they still have that basic choice on how to conduct themselves in WHATEVER way makes them feel comfortable.

I know its hard to conduct yourself in your own way when it puts you in the firing line for crazy feminists making horrible comments, and in a way that might make it harder to date (defying the 'men pay for everything' standard) - but then you ask yourself, do you really want their approval anyway? Do you really want to date a girl who wants you to pay for things all the time? Do you really want the approval of that sexist person in your class? If these standards are that far from how you want to conduct yourself, do you really want to please the people who expect you to live up to them?

Spend more time with people who accept you as you are and dont expect you to be one way or the other just because of your genitals. There are a bunch of us right here :) And hopefully, one day, no one will have to deal with this crap.

ToraZalinto · 2012-05-22T12:46:15+00:00

Just not give a shit what others think. Easier said than done. And never able to be done 100%.

ignatiusloyola · 2012-05-22T13:22:54+00:00

Never listen to what a female says about being a man.

What the fuck do they know about it?

ghebert001 · 2012-05-22T13:55:34+00:00

We're expected to be both at the same time...in other words we've been set up to fail in all situations.

2012-05-22T17:00:48+00:00

oh my god, I get that feeling man.

I went through a similar painful situation with a white knight.

So, here it goes... In our place we have share taxis which are of low height. A villager family got out of the taxi at the taxi stand and I was getting in. Since I am tall per our country standards (am only 5'8", but considering the car and people here am above average height) and taxi is in a lower position than ground am standing, I placed my hand on top side of the door frame to get into the car. The stupid old lady who just exited the taxi, shut the car door causing my finger jammed between metal door of the car. Here, no one closes the door after exiting as people immediately gets in to the car after others leave and look after their own business. But the lady was old, new to the place.

My little finger jammed between the door, bone almost bent in the impact. I shouted 'oh god, fuck' in my own language. The white knight sitting nearby me got furious. Here I am in unimaginable pain and he is furious at me because I used foul language near an old lady. I gently explained him I was cussing to myself to relieve myself of pain. The white knight took advantage of the situation that I am in royal pain and cannot respond. He was lecturing how am a migrant to that place, how culture-less I am and all such. By 8-10mins, my finger straightened and I was a bit in my own frame of mind. I tried to convince my side, but he does not understand.

I told him to stop lecturing me, but he will not. Luckily I was almost OK by 8-10min. By the time I reached my place, I cussed him, his mother, daughter, sister, neighbors and everybody in his stupid race. He sat like a worm as I challenged him to get down. He didn't.

Fuck white knights and vermin feminists like these.

English is not my first language, excuse me for bad grammar and sentences.

i_poop_splinters · 2012-05-22T15:55:22+00:00

When a woman stubs her toe, can i tell her to woman up?

DuchessofYanks · 2012-05-22T15:48:31+00:00

It's a no win situation when you're a man. You can't "man up" (fucking hate that term) because you'll be seen as an unfeeling man bot. And you can't show your emotions because then you're gay. Best thing to do is not exist in the first place. Easy right?

No but in all seriousness the ones who seem to be the most against sexism (towards women of course) have no problem being sexist towards men.

justsomeguyudontknow · 2012-05-22T16:42:39+00:00

What pisses me off is how much they abuse and manipulate society's acceptance of them crying. They will fucking bawl their eyes out over some little nonsense, but let men get watery eyes over some legitimate shit. No, we can't show weakness. How about some fucking middleground?

mighteee · 2012-05-22T17:24:51+00:00

Grit your teeth, my son. Show emotion if you need to show it, and those who would call you less of a man for it are no more a man than a 12 year old screaming 'faggot' over the internet. The double standard applied to the phrase 'man up' is one of the biggest pieces of hypocrisy ever uttered by the radical feminist movement.

Chin up, little brother. We can only do so much at once before we're yelled at for being too macho.

the_pin · 2012-05-22T15:19:53+00:00

What I find funny about the feminist movement is that they are so vastly self-interested. People give celebrities a hard time often for promoting certain causes (George Clooney, Chris Martin etc.), but at least there is some nobility for these persons as they do not actively pursue causes that directly benefit themselves; this is in stark contrast to the current (and most annoying/bellicose) North American feminist.

Proof positive of their self interest is the inherent misrepresentation in their cause; it is a misnomer in the greatest sense to have a label "feminism" that imports with it the idea of creating equality for all women. Feminists care about making things better for themselves; women in the middle east are being burned and raped and treated sub-human, yet I rarely hear any NA femmes harping on that.

Not only do women know nothing about being a man, they know nothing about being a woman in a larger sense. These feminists have necks that only function in a single direction...up. They look up at men with more and want what they have. They never look at the men with part time work for barely any pay, or the women who actually have no rights in other countries. They don't want equality, they want a role reversal. Equality doesn't mean "equal" to them, it simply means at least equal, but if it slides over toward their side (I.e. 60% of admitted to medical school being women) then they are fine with that.

They should just be happy they have someone to complain to, unlike men. When things are unfair...we just deal with it.

shannontara · 2012-05-22T15:07:26+00:00

I read something somewhere that the reason why its so difficult for men and women to communicate sometimes is because our culture tells men to "be a man" and not express their feelings. Makes sense.

I dated a man from Mexico and you can tell by their music. Lots of sad sad love songs. Men are allowed to express their emotions.

Bjoirdian · 2012-05-22T16:55:16+00:00

fightclub.jpg

Jahonay · 2012-05-22T17:22:19+00:00

She doesn't seem like she's in it for the argument, she seems like she has some inner hatred for men, she needs counselling probably.

flip69 · 2012-05-23T01:15:22+00:00

This is nothing more than their way to destabilize and debase males. You're taught to listen to people and to play nice growing into adulthood by (mostly female teachers)

The problem is that people like this are not properly taught how to be decent people ( haven't been for a decades) "Educated" in dishing out a self serving double standard based on gender. She's internalized that meme.... to put men down at every turn.

What she said was fucked up. You were in pain... she told you basically that nobody cared and worse than that... that you're weren't a adult male for expressing it.

Fuck her. She needed to be put into her place. Too bad you couldn't have punched her.... as "fare game".

The best you could have done is shame her for being a uncaring and cold hearted bitch. Tell her that you "Feel very sorry for any children that she may have in the future... they'll all grow up dysfunctional with her as a mother and perhaps even worse than she is as a human being..."

[edited for grammar]

rightsbot · 2012-05-22T12:24:17+00:00

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Avery17 · 2012-05-22T15:28:33+00:00

Tell that bitch to fuck off. You are who YOU are, regardless of your gender. If you just happen to be a guy who loves football or some shit, then so be it. If you're a guy who prefers painting or something artistic, so be it. And if you are a guy who was shockingly born with a nervous system that experiences pain when you stub your toe, then so be it.

Dranosh · 2012-05-22T16:56:25+00:00

Well, the obvious solution is that you should cut off your toe, especially that pinky toe and its affinity for everything heavy and hard. I mean it would reduce the chance of getting an infection should you ever stub your toe and rip the nail off, and it just looks cleaner, plus you would have one less toe to get athlete's foot.

Your parents should have cut off your toe when you were a new born /s

2012-05-22T17:11:24+00:00

What am I supposed to do?

Film it, put it on youtube. That shit will follow that feminist cunt around for the rest of her life.

The one thing feminists hate to see is their own words read back to them. What better way than to video the hate speech for future generations to see?

CokeZeroPepsiOne · 2012-05-22T22:11:00+00:00

I think the correct course of action would have been to address the feminist to "woman up" because shes destroying the foundation of female equality.

JesseJaymz · 2012-05-22T22:22:19+00:00

Next time she hurts herself you should tell her to woman up

filo4000 · 2012-05-22T13:30:09+00:00

seriously how much help do you need for a stubbed toe

cat-astrophe · 2012-05-22T14:37:49+00:00

Just out of curiosity, how do you know she's a radical feminist? Are you in a gender studies class? Claiming that men have no emotions and feelings doesn't sound very feminist to me. It sounds really ignorant.

tddanceWR77 · 2012-05-22T14:11:58+00:00

What did you say to her?

Thuren · 2012-05-22T15:29:00+00:00

Women (and men) often express what they Want in a way that sounds like "what would be fair". Many women want men who are stoic but are sensitive and vulnerable to them. They want control over you but they don't want the pain receptors in your toe to have control over you.

Similarly, many men (I'm not one of them) want women who are vulnerable to the world so that they can feel protective of them (again, control.)

About the money issue, Sweden, where I'm from, seems to have gone further than the US in terms of dating equality, I rarely pay for anything except my own stuff on dates, and the women who expect the man to pay are usually those who prefer to live a bit submissively, which you could argue "evens things out".

Either way, live like you want to, but be prepared to accept the consequences.

Unenjoyed · 2012-05-22T15:41:35+00:00

What am I supposed to do?

It comes in two parts: Do what feels right, and stop listening to the feeble minded.

midnightreign · 2012-05-22T17:45:35+00:00

After the first date we either trade off on paying or go dutch.

This is not the 19th century, I will pay for the first date, but I expect the same treatment from time to time. Otherwise I am only paying for your time and attention, which sounds a lot like a hooker to me.

Kronik_NinjaLo · 2012-05-22T17:46:36+00:00

One thing I hate is the fight for "equality" and when you mention having women register for the army when they turn 18, they refuse.

RJNDesigner · 2012-05-22T19:13:56+00:00

This is why I love this subreddit. It's so easy vent and actually have people relate to you. I feel you, just ignore her.

Piss_Marks_MY_Spot · 2012-05-22T19:17:43+00:00

Timing is everything. You're supposed to be caring and sensitive when a girl needs you to be, then callous when you need support. /sarcasm. Do what you wish.

contrarianism · 2012-05-22T20:56:04+00:00

Don't let somebody else define you.

emoprairiedog · 2012-05-22T21:25:14+00:00

Typical manipulation tactict, they want to feel us inadequate and insecure of our gender roles. The only correct way to act, is what they tell us to do, and it changes all the time so we are never sure on what pleases them. You are never strong enough, you are never sensitive enough, you are just simply in the wrong gender.

Solution: don't define yourself according to their views. You be and do whatever you wanna do as long as you don't screw anybody's life, and it's gonna be OK.

2012-05-22T21:43:17+00:00

Well I don't listen to women like that. I tell them to mind their own business and move on.

2012-05-22T22:04:42+00:00

what am I supposed to do?

Do what you feel is right.

However, as for the no-win situation that has been constructed by radical feminists - damned if you do, damned if you don't - that is exactly their intention. They don't want you to win. They don't care if you suffer, either by not expressing your pain or by expressing it. Their aim is to disempower men as much as possible, as a means to "deconstruct patriarchy". You are not meant to win, only to lose. That is their intention - so ignore their rules.

celibacy4life · 2012-05-22T22:18:54+00:00

I believe Dr Doom says it best in Marvel Vs Capcom 3. "I do as I please and I answer to no one." Who cares what the radical feminist thinks about you stubbing your toe? She can choke on it if she has an issue with a knee jerk reaction. Let her go bitch to the womyn and be miserable about it.

Phototoxin · 2012-05-22T22:40:45+00:00

I'd should 'F**K YOU BIATCH' that way you are i) expressing emotion and ii) manning up by telling her off!

j/k

gnimsh · 2012-05-22T22:52:01+00:00

Today at the bus stop there were 14-16 year old girls with the little brother of one of them. Apparently he tried to hit one girl so she smacked him right in the face and he cried. She said "Men don't cry, are you a man?" And he said "Not yet." So sad.

ThePigman · 2012-05-23T01:34:18+00:00

As soon as she opened her misandrist yap you should have snarled "Shut the fuck up, you stupid piece of shit!"

I mean that in all seriousness, if it happened more often these women might get it through their heads that there is something wrong with their attitudes.

ENTP · 2012-05-23T03:44:42+00:00

The very first words out of my mouth after she told me to "man up" would have been:

"Way to reinforce patriarchal gender norms. What the fuck kind of feminist are you?"

J__Man · 2012-05-23T10:07:13+00:00

what am i supposed to do?

say "idiot" and walk away ignoring all futile attempts at them trying to rustle your jimmies

TrashAudio · 2012-05-23T11:52:11+00:00

Ah, yes "Be a man"; apparently a completely valid and non-sexist thing to say!

Imagine telling a female "Be a woman", everytime they showed any masculine emotions or values!

iLoginToComment · 2012-05-22T15:12:14+00:00

The proper response would have been: "You came out of the kitchen to tell me this?"

carchamp1 · 2012-05-22T13:10:57+00:00

Yes, this is a double standard. You're right. I think though that women have their own double standards and societal expectations as well. I'm going back and forth with someone on r/feminisms now about how women need to shave their body hair. Really, I'm glad I don't have to do that, but I basically told her to woman-up and deal with it. Reading your post now makes me think I have some work to do in this area.

Revoran · 2012-05-22T16:21:34+00:00

instead of helping me

How is someone supposed to help you? All you did was stub your toe. I get that it's painful but it's not usually the kind of thing that requires someone else to help.

That being said, there is no need for her to be a bitch about it and your point is very valid.

joedude · 2012-05-22T17:43:43+00:00

Heres the thing chief, Society is a mass of writhing ignorance, you need to wiggle yourself the FUCK OUTTA THAT SHIT. I just ignore morons, you can tell right away when comments stem from a lack of introspection, wisdom, respect,honesty, and knowledge just ignore idiots because they don't even know what feeling and being human truly are yet.

Quazz · 2012-05-22T18:55:24+00:00

You're supposed to ignore everyone else and just be yourself.

Who cares what anyone else has to say about who or what you should be.

2012-05-22T19:11:21+00:00

I was imagining you walking around outside aimlessly.

geodebug · 2012-05-22T22:04:01+00:00

Instead of 'man up' how about 'grow up'?

Being mentally mature means not giving a fuck about other people's labels.

The only MR problems I care about are unjust laws. Socially, you're treated as well as you demand by the people you interact with.

If some person told me to man up when I was hurt my response would be a loud and justified "fuck you, asshole", and then I'd go about my business of hurting not giving a shit about that person's label.

If a person is preaching bullshit against you then you don't 'man up' you 'grow up' and call them on it. You can't change everybody's minds but you can definitely confront an idiot publicly on their bullshit.

I'm sick of MR worrying about being called gay. So the fuck what? Gays are generally pretty awesome dudes to know and, face-palm, they're also men and deserve MR respect; gay men have had to eat more shit than most of us hetero-men can conceive of so maybe we should take a page from their struggle for equal treatment.

Sorry, but if being teased by some bitch and being called gay are your worst case scenarios for double standards then you are living a golden-bubble life and don't even appreciate it.

gnimsh · 2012-05-22T22:53:07+00:00

Question to OP: do you really expect though that anyone would stop to help you if you stubbed your toe? Damage done, now much you can do for it. So it happened in class enough for everyone to notice, which I guess means you showed some signs of pain, and then the feminist just jumped up and said you should man up?

Just trying to understand how this all came up.

nycjohndoe · 2012-05-22T14:28:20+00:00

So we are supposed to be sensitive, heartfelt people yet not show our emotions?

stubbing your toe an wincing to pain is not showing emotion. if you broke down afterwards because 'it feels like the world is out to get you" and revealing your emotional pain & insecurities, would probably qualify.

UnoriginalMike · 2012-05-22T16:23:32+00:00

Damned I you do, damned if you don't.

The message here is that it is not ok to be a man, as any action is wrong. How dare you show emotion you pussy ass faggot. How dare you not be upset you cold hearted asshole pig. You have no option save to not have anything happen to you, essentially non existence.

Especially now with such blurred gender roles, a man doesn't have any single good role model to go off of. This would be ok, provided that whatever a man chose to be was accepted. These days it seems the plan is to hate and destroy a man no matter what he is for not being something else. Or maybe it's just me.

Side note: I have seen some of the most hard core and manly men bawl their eyes out. I have seen some of the softest men I have ever known grit their teeth and suffer silently through worse than I can imagine. It's all part of being human.

2012-05-22T13:26:22+00:00

Hand her an apron and tell her "Turkey and cheese on wheat, please."

2012-05-22T14:45:13+00:00

Man Up.

Woundedkneecap3 · 2012-05-22T13:08:56+00:00

Call her a feminist cunt and tell her to stop, drop, and go fuck herself!

Or ignore her conflicting statement...

Even better, let her know of her hypocritical views and ask her what she would want you to do, prehaps you could talk to her and try to show her your plight. Revert to option number 1 if she calls you a pussy or something for wanting to talk.

ZimbaZumba · 2012-05-22T16:21:50+00:00

Anyone have the URL for that I'd like to cut and past.

ShetlandJames · 2012-05-22T13:06:12+00:00

[permanently deleted]

canadiankorean · 2012-05-23T05:13:29+00:00

lol crying gay boy

Skylocke · 2012-05-22T14:50:30+00:00

a radical feminist would never use the term "man up"
if she claims to be a feminist, she is lying

Eryemil · 2012-05-22T13:47:00+00:00

[permanently deleted]

aleppocone · 2012-05-22T18:57:13+00:00

You are supposed to cry about the injustice in your life on the mensrights subreddit

Title	The worst double standard.
Author	tddanceWR77
Upvotes	352
Comments	221
Date	May 22, 2012 12:23 PM UTC (14 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/tz58i/the_worst_double_standard/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/the-worst-double-standard.1021329 https://theredarchive.com/post/1021329

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