Young Marine Must Continue To Pay Child Support for a Child That Is Not His: Court called mother's actions "deliberately lying to Brandon about being the father of the child “despicable.”", then finan

BAXterBEDford · 2013-02-15T14:20:31+00:00

This is what happens when "the best interest of the child" is the trump card. And this isn't the first time it's happened. I've read of numerous accounts over the years. I would go so far as to say it is a strategy used by certain low-lifes where they trick some guy into being the financial support for a child that the mother wanted, but had no intention of having a father in the picture. Personally, would like to see the child, especially if young enough like an infant, be taken from the mother and given to responsible parents.

PerniciousOne · 2013-02-15T16:33:50+00:00

He should seek full custody of the child.

Then the hypocrisy of the situation will be made more public. "Since fatherhood is not genetic" then there should be no legal roadblocks to him obtaining custody.

Canadian4Paul · 2013-02-15T15:55:48+00:00

Men do not have any reproductive rights, and have no say when a woman is pregnant.
In some countries (such as Germany and France), men do not have the right to a paternity test. Other countries have been pushing to follow suit.
Even if it is later found out that you are not the father, you are still liable for child support for the best interest of the child.

If these all hold firm, then you may be responsible to pay child support to any woman you have sex with who subsequently becomes pregnant, regardless of whether or not the kid is yours.

No reproductive right, no right to paternity test, and an obligation to take care of the child that isn't yours. Not exactly a fair mix, is it?

l337sponge · 2013-02-15T17:46:56+00:00

wtf. The cards are so stacked and even more so against military. When I was in Iraq one of my soldiers wives took all his money and bounced with some other man. He was on suicide watch for a couple of months, best part was that he could prove she had committed adultery and JAG still forced him to keep paying her money because she had no job and needed a way to support herself. he couldn't finalize the divorce until he got back to the states, basically spent a year on a deployment to come home broke.

Nomenimion · 2013-02-15T15:30:28+00:00

What a wonderful way to reward a young man for serving his country.

Bobsutan · 2013-02-15T17:14:37+00:00

To paraphrase Chris Rock, if she ends up with a bullet in her head I wouldn't agree with it, but I'd understand it.

prussianiron · 2013-02-15T16:18:42+00:00

I hate people like that so much. Financially fucking someone for 20 years when they did nothing wrong is acceptable, but having a man hit on you is so bad that it warrants a knife and pepper spray?

Raguel9000 · 2013-02-15T15:42:47+00:00

Worst part is he is pretty much going to have to do a full 20 years to pay for the kid. If he gets out and becomes an unemployed vet like many of us are he is going to get fucked in the ass even more.

redgreenapple · 2013-02-15T16:59:10+00:00

The lesson here, gentlemen, is until the laws change just spend the $70 it takes to test your newborn. No matter how in love you are, it's $70 to ensure 18 years of financial freedom if you've been wronged.

Bobsutan · 2013-02-15T17:39:59+00:00

It'd be nice if the military or his command in some way could refuse to garnish his wages and tell that court to pound sand.

dungone · 2013-02-15T18:24:22+00:00

I'm just going to cut to the chase. The real solution here is to stop paying benefits out to spouses altogether. Even if paternity tests were allowed with no statutory limitations, as they should be, it still wouldn't be fair that men in general, but especially Marines, are viewed by society as a perfectly acceptable way for women to hitch a free ride. And it only gives them that extra incentive to behave in such disgusting ways. "This is why we can't have nice things."

I'm a former Marine and Marines get really screwed by this for a number of reasons. There's a lot of incentive for guys to have unprotected sex and get married right before a deployment, some of it is probably just human nature, but some of it are extra pay allowances and the desire to move out of the barracks, which tend to be a hellhole of life-sapping micromanagement. It's actually unfair to single guys who choose not getting married - you shouldn't have to get paid less and live worse off just because you refuse to risk the sort of nonsense that's on display here. It always pissed me off, anyway.

Miracle_Fruit · 2013-02-15T17:35:43+00:00

Two years? Because he waited two years he'll have to continue paying for another twelve years for someone else's child? What a fucking joke.

Archammes · 2013-02-15T20:49:53+00:00

See, this right here is why I'm not completely against slut-shaming. Women like this should be ashamed of who and what they are.

Roddy0608 · 2013-02-15T17:59:47+00:00

Meanwhile, the child's actual father is out there somewhere. The child's mother should be expected to point him out.

shedload · 2013-02-15T17:57:58+00:00

Remind me never to move to America. Land of the free my ass.

griffindj · 2013-02-15T18:06:12+00:00

I've been a reader of that newsletter for a while now and I'm embarrassed that I glanced over the article thinking "just another poor guy", "glad it's not me", "maybe there's more to the story".

Fact is I've just become so familiar with the oppression that I'm numb to it. Seeing this on the front page reminded me that this has to stop and I urge everyone to follow the newsletter. Fathersandfamilies.org does some useful lobbying and organized protests in addition to raising awareness of the situation.

akakaze · 2013-02-15T17:12:08+00:00

If I lived in France or Germany, or if America ever hits that point, there's the Atlas Shrugged method of protesting being taken advantage of by society. See how feminists like it when men rise up and disappear en masse.

french_toste · 2013-02-15T23:37:10+00:00

From the Marine's statement:

When they came into the waiting room Ashton came over to me and was talking to me when Crystal’s mother came and grabbed him and pulled him away telling him not to talk to me because I was a stranger now. She also began calling me names. I asked her to please stop cursing at me before the child. This made her really angry and she looked right in my eyes and told me that I should have died in Iraq like I was supposed to do.

WHAT THE FUCK.

Good job, judicial system.

2013-02-15T17:49:46+00:00

This is why prostitution should be legalized.

Bum_Left_Knee · 2013-02-15T18:19:36+00:00

Best interest of the child, while victimizing an innocent person.

So glad I'm single and alone, least I have my little bit of money and freedom.

Electroverted · 2013-02-15T19:51:39+00:00

It's not "in the best interests for the child." Here's the deal: When the state is weighed with having to financially support a mother and child vs making some guy doing it instead, regardless of his liability, it becomes dollar signs versus zero civil rights. The state can and will take advantage of men, who have no rights, to save some money, so pay up, citizen!

notapotamus · 2013-02-15T17:44:28+00:00

Whoever said "violence isn't the answer" was woefully inexperienced at life.

Seand0r · 2013-02-15T19:00:51+00:00

This is fucking sickening. This doesn't even have to be a male/female issue. Someone deliberately lied, the court acknowledges this, yet is somehow unable to rectify the issue. INSANITY!

ConfirmedCynic · 2013-02-15T19:29:58+00:00

We seem to be moving toward a society in which men don't have a right to father their own children. The woman does what she wants and he pays.

Even more so in France.

2013-02-15T21:25:06+00:00

Man would I love to hear the feminist defense of this woman's actions and the applicable laws. Not holding my breath.

Hypersapien · 2013-02-15T18:13:29+00:00

The law in California doesn't allow the judge to end the payments. Can anyone provide information about exactly what the law says and who was pushing for that law?

pwnedkiller · 2013-02-15T18:21:44+00:00

What a fucking cunt, I have no idea how worse of a person you can get doing this to someone! It is so disgusting beyond words can't describe and women get away with this type of shit all the time. What makes it even more disgusting is this is all probably well orchestrated by her and all or most of the money will not even go to the poor child.

Shes a cunt and a whore that does not deserve to repopulate ever again.

P.S. I know I am probably talking like a child with my foul words but this just hits me to the core.

Whisper · 2013-02-15T21:56:05+00:00

Sometimes I wonder if I make too big a deal of this "men's rights" thing. If I spend too much thought and time and energy on it.

And then I see news stories like this.

junk2sa · 2013-02-16T00:29:31+00:00

Omg he was defrauded and is being made a part time slave! He is being forced to labor for over a decade because a fraud perpetrated on him!

This is a god damn outrage. Why isn't this on the national news? How do we fix this? Can we have the judge disbarred and recalled?

If anyone wants to collect money for a billboard or tv ad calling for Judge Gregory Pollack's recall or impeechment, I will donate.

Aavagadrro · 2013-02-16T01:05:10+00:00

From my experience with the family court system, if you are military and your wife leaves you, she gets whatever she wants and they take most of your pay and give it to her. You have near zero chance of getting custody, and it does not matter what she has done, if she is abusive, mentally unstable, or completely unmotivated to earn her way through life. You end up paying for her and the kids.

It really doesnt matter if the kids are yours or not. What matters is you are military, she is female and has kids. You are simply fucked.They dont give two fucks and a shit if you are left homeless and completely destitute while serving the country.

TheBauhausCure · 2013-02-16T02:12:09+00:00

I just posted this to a group of military wives I'm a member of on Facebook. They all got really upset at my opinion, saying it is his fault and that he deserves to be punished for his mistake. When I brought up the monetary factors they had an "oh well, he's an idiot" attitude about it.

I've never felt so alone.

Nomenimion · 2013-02-16T03:57:37+00:00

Terror of the child

So, basically, the pyramid of human rights looks like:

women kids men

I guess that is great. I mean, why should we consider fraud and financial slavery a 'thing' when it's done against a man? Men aren't people. Think of the child, think about the woman. It's not fair! Christ it's not fair!

The idea the mother is responsible for all the harm done is just too grownup, right? That a human being who lied and conspired should have to bear the brunt of responsibility? Fuck him right?

This might seem callous, and it is, but this man has no obligation to make this child's life better. He has every right to walk away and never look back. He also has the right to finally decide if he wants to be a father. But I guess men aren't allowed to have those.

No, we have to have courts and laws to beat men down and force them to accept cucking because it's simply too much to treat women like people, they have to be child-gods, brides of eternal immaturity.

Piroko · 2013-02-15T17:30:50+00:00

Keep pushing for an unconstitutional law ruling.

rs181602 · 2013-02-15T19:55:15+00:00

i hope she dies. i really mean it. i hope its painful too.

2013-02-15T19:59:23+00:00

This is one of the really sucky things about being in the military your recruiter won't tell you about. The military is very capable of easily taking large junks of the money you earn as a soldier and distributing it however they see fit.

WhiteThrone · 2013-02-15T21:14:22+00:00

I think it would be in the best interest of the child to be removed from the care of this manipulative conniving 'mother' and placed in the custody of the Marine ... and have the woman pay him child support equal to a third of her income ~and~ pay him restitution for every penny he ever spent on her. Ever.

But that would be a reversal of the situation ... and that would be 'misogynistic' ... so it will never happen. Even though it ought to.

oOLynxOo · 2013-02-16T00:42:50+00:00

About a decade and a half ago, my step dad's ex wife forged checks in his name, lied about her adult daughter's employment to receive child support after she was 18, made my stepdad foot the bill for every hospital bill (including her own), and basically ran my mom and him into financial ruin. Not to mention any and all attempts to gain custody of his kids ended in her bullying them before court appearances so they didn't testify against their tyrant of a mother.

I barely got to see my step brother and sister as a kid, because their mother didn't want them around kids that were conceived outside of marriage.

The courts didn't punish her for ANYTHING, because it was in the "best interest of the children".

french_toste · 2013-02-16T10:56:07+00:00

From the Marine's statement:

When they came into the waiting room Ashton came over to me and was talking to me when Crystal’s mother came and grabbed him and pulled him away telling him not to talk to me because I was a stranger now. She also began calling me names. I asked her to please stop cursing at me before the child. This made her really angry and she looked right in my eyes and told me that I should have died in Iraq like I was supposed to do.

WHAT THE FUCK.

Good job, judicial system.

herbandmargie · 2013-02-15T18:37:38+00:00

At the end of the article.... why aren't they bringing it to the supreme court now? Is it not enough injustice?

On a side note. I would not pay her 1 dime and they wouldn't take me alive.

occupythekitchen · 2013-02-15T23:18:52+00:00

I really wonder how they justify that, what if he has his own kid with a woman he loves. His family will be handicapped financially by a leeching succubus. How do they justify that? I'd sue the state for every penny they're trying to make me pay for the next 18 years.

7wap · 2013-02-15T23:42:17+00:00

The court acted within the requirements of the law. From the quotes, I think the Judge would have sided with the poor guy if he could find a way.

I'm glad we still have some good Judges, but the laws need to change!

Swift3lade · 2013-02-15T23:54:56+00:00

Un fucking believable. Why are the payments so fucking high?

tomigentec · 2013-02-15T23:55:44+00:00

Unfortunately this type of incident happens quite a bit with Service Members. I think that they way that the woman acted is not only disrespectful but those types of actions make her an unfit to a competent mother. I hope there is some other way for this Marine to not have to deal with this.

kittysue804 · 2013-02-16T00:28:16+00:00

I wish there was a petition to sign...or we could scarlet letter the girl like in the old days.

sfacets · 2013-02-16T02:40:00+00:00

/r/iwantout

Gadflyii · 2013-02-16T04:52:57+00:00

normally I wouldn't recommend this, but as soon as he is out of the Marines, he needs to return to his home state, and re-file.

If that does not work, he needs to leave the country.

LePure · 2013-02-16T06:06:42+00:00

Are there not opportunities to appeal this decision by the courts?

warmpudgy · 2013-02-24T20:41:26+00:00

i didnt read all 324+ comments on this, so i wouldnt be surprised if the following hasnt already been said

but when i came across this earlier today i asked a lawyer friend of mine to put the article into layman's terms for me and this is what he said:

"The child was legally his, because it was born during the marriage. All children born during marriage are presumed to be the child of the husband. He further agreed the kid was his in the 2009 divorce. 3 years passed. He learned this child was not ...See More about an hour ago · Like

And, to be fair, this isn't necessarily a crack. The guy signed the waiver of tolling, which is basically a paper saying, "I am 100% sure this child is mine, and she did not lie to me. If she did lie to me, I give up any right to test for paternity."

spatchbo · 2013-06-17T05:44:26+00:00

Same thing is happening to an air forve buddy in San Diego. The bitch left him on deployment. Found an new guy and still takes half his pay checks and all because he didnt buy her, her own car to use. Besides his Supra. Shes from my home town. Wont sign the divorce papers until the checks stop. She lives with the douche.

geodebug · 2013-02-15T17:06:00+00:00

He was targeted by Crystal Parsons because she was pregnant and had no money to cover the medical expenses associated with the birth of the child

I'm not excusing what she did by any means but it is another example of why the American health care system is such a bad joke.

Having a stripper name probably should have been one clue not to trust her....

HoundDogs · 2013-02-16T04:17:06+00:00

There should be no limit on when paternity tests are admissible, and Paternity fraud cases should be able to be taken to court until the child is 18. Otherwise, go after the biological father. This is just despicable. I am ashamed that my legal system is this poor.

themanifoldcuriosity · 2013-02-15T20:56:05+00:00

This appears not to be as clear cut as the article suggests. The court ruling indicates that he only became suspicious when the child was 4½ years old. That's four and a half years in which he was a father to the child and they bonded with each other.

Although I concede it must be very upsetting to find out that your wife slept with and was impregnated by another man, this does not absolve him of his fatherly duties to his child. After all, it's essentially the same situation as adopting a child, or having your wife use a sperm donor, or being a stepfather from birth - in all of these situations it would not be disputed that he is the father of the child (in the sense of nuture, not nature.)

Therefore the judge made the correct ruling. He needs to man up and face his fatherly duties of continuing to look after his child. Ideally that should be by visitation and direct upbringing, but if not this, then at least a financial contribution to the child's welfare. He owes it to the child as they have already bonded and as such he is, in practice, the father.

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