Dark romance men and dating.

toasterchild · 2026-03-18T18:26:44+00:00

Just because you read a book doesn't mean you want to live it. Do you also question people who read murder books about why they want people in their lives to murder

icypiee · 2026-03-18T17:56:59+00:00

Hell yeah me and him can have a freak off

Secret_Entry1840 · 2026-03-18T17:55:16+00:00

That’s a hard one. Fantasies are fantasies. I’m not the thought police. Go enjoy your smut. Just don’t think you can go and act of them without enthusiastic consent. Keep them in your spank bank. Unless you have a partner that you can discuss role playing fantasies and have good boundaries and safewords.

AmandaPea · 2026-03-18T19:58:51+00:00

Can we quit with the dark romance moral panic. I swear the discourse is no different than the 80s satanic panic over video games & metal music. JFC.

"The research found that dark romance, a subgenre that does not follow the dominant sexual script, had more instances of verbal consent appearing, especially if the phrases were more vulgar."

Source

pie-mart · 2026-03-18T18:05:26+00:00

I mean men watch porn and the porn involves real people. So, they have their own "dark" fantasy outlet

UnstableHotspot · 2026-03-18T17:55:54+00:00

I prefer fantasy smut to dark romances but I wont yuck anyone’s yum. Reading is fun and everyone has different tastes. I wouldn’t care if my partner read the counterpart.

UnstableHotspot · 2026-03-18T19:41:27+00:00

Tbh I’d be more worried about a man who reads the bible regularly than a man who reads the dark romance.

kmb218 · 2026-03-18T21:26:43+00:00

would you date a men who would read a counterpart to dark romance books but centered to men?

It depends. I googled what this genre is but it seems super broad and vague and there don’t seem to be many popular books. If he reads books where the male main character rapes and tortures his partner for example or gets tortured, I would find that disturbing and would rather not date him. If it’s something milder like some of the characters lie, have trauma, are possesive, a bit morally grey or themes like that, I would not care. Though if it was a consistent pattern where he seems to overfocus on these kinds of books it would be an orange flag.

would you date a men who watches porn with similar themes or reads comics?

Same answer as for the books.

bondepart · 2026-03-18T19:16:08+00:00

You only have to see how many male film directors love to put rape scenes in their movies.

rosesonthefloor · 2026-03-18T19:37:56+00:00

Dark romance really is a catch all term, but still encompasses a wide variety of what that “dark romance” actually looks like.

In some, the MMC would kill anyone but the FMC. Or they’re stalker-obsessed with her, but still treat her pretty well, all things considered. Or they are generally “bad people” to everyone but the FMC. Those are totally fine. And if my husband was into that, then hell yeah, that just gives us more to talk about and/or play around with.

However the ones where the MMC bullies the FMC, or they have a super toxic relationship where they actually physically fight each other, that’s not really my bag and if my husband was into that, I’d question what about that appeals to him to try and understand.

If I were still dating, I would not at all be put off by a man who has CNC or “dark” fantasies or watched porn in those veins as long as he was able to communicate clearly around consent and boundaries outside of playtime. Often “dark romance” may provide the language someone needs to be able to articulate what it is they want exactly, and that’s a good thing.

-Shes-A-Carnival · 2026-03-19T02:29:39+00:00

men watch horror movies about men who slaughter women

ThotismSpeaks · 2026-03-18T18:42:55+00:00

The appeal of dark romance to women is the idea of a man who considers you his entire world, has the power and resources needed to make your life easier, and will do whatever it takes to keep you with him. Pornography that involves real people being abused and exploited isn't really the equivalent and I'm not sure what would be. Fantasies about being victimized aren't the same thing as fantasies about victimizing others.

VenusNoire_ · 2026-03-18T22:34:51+00:00

I’ve already written erotica for a man. I doubt I’d care about it, honestly. I don’t really pay attention to this genre unless I feel like I have to. Not sure why this is downvoted. I’m not making a fuss over what would likely be run of the mill femdom stories written for men…

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ResponsibilityAny217 · 2026-03-18T18:48:22+00:00

It matters on the topic and the content and how into it he is.

If it was like lady centaur romance, lady werewolf and vampire I could tolerate that

Also for men liking dark romance, I think mostly think of it like men liking action movies and I tolerate that fine. If he wants to read a book about being a super spy that turns back time and sleeps with really hot, crazy dangerous women and then joins the darkside. I don’t think I’d care at all. Just good for you, babe.

( or picture ’The Mummy’ but it was written from the point of view of the mummy with - Imhotep who was portrayed by Boris Karloff - That would be a great dark romance, I wouldn’t have a problem with a guy reading something like that) .

But if it was like watching the Joker movie and being really into a joker and trying to imitate joker or crazy American psycho guy, yeah That one would bother me, that one I might break up with him.

edit : For me when I think about dark romances, the strongest theme of dark romance, to me, seems to be that the people fall in love and become worse with each other on the dark side. So instead of like a mafia man, falling in love, leaving the mafia and go living a white picket fence family guy life, which will be a regular romance, a regular woman or weak woman and the mafia man falls in love and she joins the mafia and they rule the mafia together.

so like in twilight, Normal/awkward woman falls in love with a vampire man, and she becomes a vampire.

Fifty Shades of Grey, a normal regular plain woman falls in love with a dangerous rich bdsm loving man, then they try bdsm on each other.

etc

I would have a problem if he watched a large amount of like stepbrother and stepsister porn, bestiality, blood etc.

P1anth0 · 2026-03-18T21:40:51+00:00

I’m not into dark romance or men interested in that.

Novadina · 2026-03-19T00:16:38+00:00

Yes, all the men I have dated watched porn and many had some strange kink they were into. I don’t care how a man wants to masturbate. It’s his private time.

One guy asked me if I would suck his dick while he was shitting on the toilet! No, that’s disgusting, I asked where on earth he got that idea, he said he saw it in a porn. He kept it to his own fantasies and didn’t ask again and that was fine by me, most likely he kept watching his weird porn. Porn is worse than books, this means some real girl was video taped doing this, at least in books it’s just ink on a page.

RelativeCondition915 · 2026-03-19T09:40:11+00:00

Would date a person of any gender who reads dark literary erotica. Dark romance is slop. Porn is also slop. Hentai is fine as long as the art is good.

Literary erotica and hentai will help your chances, dark romance and porn won't hurt them unless you're really annoying about it, or routinely read/watch violent acts performed on women. (And no, I don't mean BDSM, I mean generic sexual violence.)

Theawkwardmochi · 2026-03-19T12:50:56+00:00

I find "dark romance" deeply disturbing, and if someone likes it, I assume they ARE into this sort of thing, or have a very repressed sexuality. Either way, thanks but no thanks.

I'm not saying people aren't allowed to have their thing. Absolutely, have your thing, you really don't need anyone's approval. All I'm saying is, if their thing is that thing, they're not my thing.

jorts-enthusiast · 2026-03-18T18:11:46+00:00

I don’t read dark romance. I wouldn’t want to date someone that watched the kind of porn that is depicted in some dark romance. I actually prefer not to date men who watch porn at all.

KayRay1994 · 2026-03-18T19:16:53+00:00

Eh, it isn’t a deal breaker for me regardless of gender even though I, myself, aren’t an enjoyer of dark romance (although I love my campy macabre, psychosocial horror, death metal and gory slashers)

What I’m more interested in is how they interact with the world outside of their media. I don’t have to enjoy the media they consume, and as far as I’m concerned its all fiction - but if one behaves the same way or expects others to treat them in such a way then that becomes a deal breaker. The reason why I bring what I’m interested in up is because despite my enjoyment of dark, gory, horror coded stuff I, in fact, don’t base my outer views on the media I consume and it is the same for many others

P1anth0 · 2026-03-18T21:35:09+00:00

I don’t enjoy books/media like fifty shades. I enjoy romance books like pride and prejudice..

I remember some chick in college presented a paper to the class (and presenting was not part of our grade it was optional) and she wrote about BDSM.. I forget which class but we were all CJ majors. I remember thinking her topic was weird for that class and about how she didn’t even try to tie the topic to our class.. After that everyone made fun of her behind her back so I cannot imagine it is really that common.

love_in_october · 2026-03-18T18:16:35+00:00

It's unclear what you think the counterpart would be, but dating someone who read dark romance books as they are would be fine I guess. There are also lots of different reasons to read a book and wishing you were in that exact situation isn't one of them - dark romance is popular because it describes an exciting, dramatic situation that people don't want to encounter in real life so find it fun to experience in fiction. Nobody wants to read a book about the actual life they were aiming for as that would be super boring.

I wouldn't date someone who watched porn and wasn't actively trying to quit.

Title	Dark romance men and dating.
Author	Ok_Cook_3098
Upvotes	0
Comments	140
Date	March 18, 2026 5:45 PM UTC (4 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1rxaref/dark_romance_men_and_dating/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/dark-romance-men-and-dating.1575823 https://theredarchive.com/post/1575823

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