Does TRP exaggerate beta orbiting?

drok007 · 2017-06-27T14:45:05+00:00

That's not what beta orbiting is even though it can be something that happens as a result. I've certainly seen it. Beta orbiting is just giving them the validation and emotional support if they want it.

GroovyEFS · 2017-06-27T14:54:03+00:00

Maybe not in the term of gifts and shit. But in term of attention and validation, it is super common.

Look at teen men, 70% are orbiters.

Then there are the worst case where the dude will spend time and money on a woman that isn't going to give it back in any sort of shape.

bala-key · 2017-06-27T15:27:39+00:00

Beta orbiting is common enough to be a cliche

And it's not as much about the gifts, but more about the validation and being an emotional tampon.

But IME it's more common among students.

roseria97 · 2017-06-27T15:28:43+00:00

Honestly, I've seen a lot a guys buy their crushes a lot of shit just to impress them, they are the biggest cucks of all

Butt-Factory · 2017-06-27T16:01:55+00:00

Exaggerated. Given my career and hobbies, most of my friends are men. In my adult life, I've never had a friend try to woo me with gifts and over the top favors, or be a doormat. My friendships with men are the same as my friendships with women. Sometimes, my friends will treat me to a beer or buy me a ticket to a concert, just as I would let them borrow my car or babysit their dog for free. We all offer each other emotional support. That's just how friendships work.

despisedlove2 · 2017-06-27T16:13:33+00:00

Fortunately, it isn't as common outside of the younger age group.

GroovyEFS · 2017-06-27T15:08:17+00:00

Yes they massively overestimate this, I've never seen it happen outside of secondary school and even there it was mocked and solely the realm of guys who were less "beta" more "omega."

I was basically a standard beta when I was a teenager and even I didn't hover around girls giving them free shit just in the hope they'd notice me... that's sad af. You gotta be pretty thirsty to do that.

I don't doubt it's a real phenomenon but it's far from a common one and it requires some extreme thirst.

DarkLord0chinChin · 2017-06-27T15:10:33+00:00

All male friends are beta orbiters

theiamsamurai · 2017-06-27T15:01:29+00:00

I think a beta orbiter's primary use is to be an emotional tampon, not buy them free shit. They can get free shit from guys at the bar or dates off tinder (without word getting out that they use guys for free shit), so an emotional tampon who knows how they are is more valuable to them. If they used someone in their social circle for free shit, word can more easily get out, and they can get shamed.

Sunhappy_DC · 2017-06-27T14:42:34+00:00

its super common. i've seen it.

its mostly ExFJ types with beta orbiters though.

LSTW1234 · 2017-06-27T14:56:53+00:00

Of course. TRP exaggerates most things.

In my experience beta orbiters exist but not to the extent that they provide gifts or do endless favors. The closest I've seen are men who will buy a woman a concert ticket or something, and he thinks it's a date but she doesn't. But these guys don't stick around and keep offering gifts like desperate little house-elves. I literally picture Dobby from Harry Potter (RIP) whenever I hear the term "beta orbiter."

I also notice that wealthy people - especially insecure ones - tend to pay for shit for their friends, regardless of gender.

madude2016 · 2017-06-27T15:06:23+00:00

Orbiters are used more for attention, validation and companionship, a shoulder to cry on. A woman who takes money without giving anything is worse than a prostitute.

Unabummer80 · 2017-06-27T15:42:24+00:00

Beta orbiting means when women use betas to buy them gifts and give them free shit, while the women never have sex with them, right? Is that even that common?

Not so much this as they use them to lean on emotionally. They start a close freindship, leading on the guy a little bit and let them get nice n close to them. The guy (usually he is foolish yes) gets his hopes up, and the girl has new best friend to lean on for support.

It's common with young people, say 16 - 22. After that, aint nobody got time for that. And guys realise what is going on.

You say youve never seen it. Youre in Greece no? Isnt that quite the macho culture? Im interested in Greek dating culture.

squidracer · 2017-06-27T17:45:24+00:00

I've seen it happen several times. Best case was my buddy's gf had a beta. This loser would take her out, but her things, then get mad that she wouldn't fuck him. Everyone else in the group made fun of him to his face and he still never got a clue

blackedoutfast · 2017-06-27T21:11:12+00:00

it's extremely common, but the girl has to be at least moderately attractive.

shoup88 · 2017-06-27T14:47:01+00:00

I can only speak to my personal experience, but no, I do not think beta orbiters are common. I have a lot of male friends who will do me favours or occasionally pay when we go out, but it goes both ways - I do the same for them. And these are not men who secretly want to fuck me and are using friendship as an ulterior motive. These are sexually successful, popular guys, sometimes in relationships of their own.

When a person is predisposed to believe in the prevalence of something, they will find evidence of it everywhere. I'm sure some users would see me at the movies with a friend and see him buy my ticket and make assumptions, but they don't see that I drove him there and back and shared my popcorn.

Some friendships really are a 2 way street, and you can't tell that from a quick glance.

GinSmokeLies · 2017-06-27T14:43:33+00:00

I've seen it. I don't think it's that common.

RockinSocksII · 2017-06-27T14:50:55+00:00

Yuck. I don't think I could stand this. I hate when people hang around for alternative reasons other than enjoying my company.

Daniel_Bryan_Fan · 2017-06-27T15:02:26+00:00

The red pill exaggerates beta orbiters because they themselves were what they call beta orbiters or what most people would call "nice guys", they hung out with pretty girls pretending they wanted to be friends when they really had romantic/sexual feelings, it's essentially confirmation bias.

flyingwaterlilly · 2017-06-27T16:15:17+00:00

Using someone as an emotional tampon is as disgraceful as (ab)using a friendship to get laid. Both sides deserve to fail.

Love8Death · 2017-06-27T16:34:16+00:00

Nope, they don't. I've seen it so many times, regardless of age.

I respect a woman's ability to make men orbit her and occasionally beam her down gifts and fruit.

It's a sign of a well developed woman.

Men can have orbiters too, but they have to be hot, or rich with game.

Temperfuelmma · 2017-06-27T16:49:37+00:00

Beta's are very real. Beta orbiting is very very real. If anything I would say it is underrepresented in TRP. Every woman I know has Beta Orbiters. Some women actively try to get beta orbiters, it's easy to spot for me but most men fall for it and go after her in the hopes of something happenin.

Ascimator · 2017-06-27T17:03:29+00:00

I wouldn't know, I don't keep tabs on guys who hang with women I know. Any orbiting I've noticed is really just friendship with a bit of chivalry/flirting.

Five_Decades · 2017-06-27T17:30:16+00:00

It is much more common in school, it doesn't seem to happen much after high school or college.

exit_sandman · 2017-06-27T22:30:09+00:00

Does TRP exaggerate beta orbiting?

You're asking about friendzoning. And yeah, friendzoning is common enough to have memes, stories, its own term and long-ass articles and satire pieces written about it.

[deleted] · 2017-06-28T03:28:38+00:00

Yup. They're jealous of actual friendships.

DebatesNotBans · 2017-06-29T02:39:38+00:00

Does TRP exaggerate beta orbiting?

No. Find me one female social media profile that doesnt have males liking her pictures and commenting "OMG UR SO PRETTY" or similar bombardments of compliments and attention. Find me just one. Literally one.

AllRolledUp · 2017-06-27T14:56:01+00:00

I've used orbiters for validation and entertainment. It's more of a student age thing, so not many opportunities for people to buy shit for you. If it continues past that it's because people text and spend so much time on social media. I've had maybe 3 male friends in my adult life who reached out me frequently and clearly liked me. But, unless I was really hard up for something to do I wasn't going out of my way to see them or anything.

IamTheWalkingMenu · 2017-06-27T16:59:26+00:00

No never!!! In fact I'm currently surrounded by my own little admiring planetary system as I sit here in the waiting room at the dentist! "Your teeth will be so sparkly.... I'll pay! No! Let me!" they're saying as they spin....

Srsly tho, yes they exist but not to the extent you'd think by being on redditt.

ManSentHisOwnWay · 2017-06-27T15:43:23+00:00

I'd be real surprised if this was some common occurrence. I mean, I've seen really popular and attractive people with a bunch of followers but I doubt most women have to deal with that.

BPremium · 2017-06-27T15:59:27+00:00

its very common in HS and college

Mr_Smoogs · 2017-06-27T16:05:09+00:00

Very common in quality women and even more common with the rise in social media. A text my girlfriend received this week: "Happy Sunday."

I don't blame the women though. The sense of validation from having beta orbiters is too great for single women to not outright encourage it. You can have girl orbiters too if you're a guy. Be attractive (10% of the male population) and have a career. So pretty much be in the top 5% of men and you'll be able to spin plates with ease.

snailypop · 2017-06-27T16:21:09+00:00

Beta orbiter is just a male friend that has a crush on you.

[deleted] · 2017-06-27T20:26:09+00:00

They exist, but I think it's uncommon for women to accept all kinds of free shit from them. But, there's plenty of "orbiters" out there. I have a bartender friend of mine that just became single. Every time she posts, there are 30 comments from these guys vying for her attention. She deleted Messenger because of all the dick pics and dirty messages. I won't even comment or Snap her anymore in fear of looking like these assholes.

ThatGreekLady · 2017-06-27T22:38:26+00:00

some RPillers were saying that with sex bots, women would lose their "beta orbiters" and would therefore be miserable (!).

I might have missed that. Can you quote them claiming women would be "miserable (!)"?

ThatGreekLady · 2017-06-28T00:23:50+00:00

Maybe RPs are just using "hyperbolic tone" when talking about beta orbiters?

victxriarose · 2017-06-28T07:33:35+00:00

I thought friends are supposed to be emotional tampons for each other. Isnt that how friendship works?

pinkgoldrose · 2017-07-01T22:10:37+00:00

I've never seen the men paying for stuff, but I've seen situations where the men are hoping they might get sex for just... being there at the right time. But hey, if each guy is orbiting several girls then I don't see the difference between this and a normal group of friends.

Relax_ItsJustAPhase · 2017-07-05T14:57:33+00:00

From what I've encountered most RPers or NiceGuys are embittered with their relationships or lack of relationships and can't fathom that a man and a woman could just be friends.

It's sort of like what a hungry dog might think about a supermarket; why aren't you eating all that food in there? It's there, it's edible -> you eat it. It lacks the capacity to understand that you may not want to eat unhealthy things, be fulfilled or have different preferences.

AllRolledUp · 2017-06-27T14:46:08+00:00

It's common in women who don't have (or don't know there can be) other sources of validation, whether internal or external. Also some women are just unabashedly selfish and only look for short term benefits.

Hairbrainer · 2017-06-27T15:20:49+00:00

I've seen it only in the sense that there is a guy who does that with everyone. He essentially tries to buy favor by paying for meals/extra rounds of beer. He's more likely to do it with women, but he does it for everyone because I think he knows deep down his personality sucks.

I've seen men try and do this with women I know, but most all of them refuse these gifts or don't let it last long (a few beers here and there is no big deal, but if it's persistent she lets him know that she's not interested and he needs to stop).

So yes, I'd say it's exaggerated for sure.

questioningwoman · 2017-06-27T18:15:46+00:00

Boo hoo. Women are supposedly valueless and worth nothing after 35 to society so they have every right to cash in their chips before they hit 35. Screw your moralism.

TheOneTrueMagnet · 2017-06-28T22:18:33+00:00

I have beta orbited and so has almost every other male I have known. It is part of being male. The most common version of orbiting is basically doing everything a boyfriend does without the sex. Gifting can be a part of that but is less common and is usually enticed by women who know exactly what they are doing.

Humans form covert contracts all the time. Beta orbiting is one version. Their logic is essentially that if they act like a boyfriend long enough, then they will eventually become one. Girls do the same thing but differently. Girls act like girlfriends hoping to turn into one. They only difference is that men will offer resources while the girls will offer sex.

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Title	Does TRP exaggerate beta orbiting?
Author	ThatGreekLady
Upvotes	14
Comments	284
Date	June 27, 2017 2:39 PM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/6jt3ls/does_trp_exaggerate_beta_orbiting/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/does-trp-exaggerate-beta-orbiting.267322 https://theredarchive.com/post/267322

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