Guy is bullied while on a date skit - thoughts on how it was handled?

starwatcher16253647 · 2024-07-29T19:15:27+00:00

Some women want toxic masculinity, which is one of the reasons it sticks around.

According_Second4222 · 2024-07-29T16:51:01+00:00

If you told me this is how women reacted 10 years ago, I would have never believed it.

However, in addition to plausible evolutionary mechanisms and other men's experiences with this, my own experiences paint the same result. When I dated, there were a couple of girls that had similar responses when I acted aggressively with other men. They seemed to enjoy/get turned on by me being forceful, either in defense or to get something I wanted, especially when using physicality. These were not "ratchet" women either. Most of them were very well mannered and on the higher end of "purity."

ComfortableJeans · 2024-07-29T17:50:29+00:00

So, I grew up hard. A bad area where there was LOTS of violence, drugs, thefts, muggings and so on. Just all around shit. Chav after chav.

I also grew up and spent early life doing bad things. Breaking into places. Drinking and drugs. Getting chased by the police. That sort of thing.

Realistically, he should have done what he had to to leave the situation. He's a guy in his late 40s I think. At emasculating as it is, you just have to leave it alone. There's no reality in which these boys walk off with their heads down after a good telling off. The best you can hope for is that they actually don't have the bollocks to do anything.

There 100% are girls who'll be put off even being friends with boy who backs down from a confrontation, even if it's a sensible thing to do. The vast majority won't say that out loud, but seeing a man get emasculated and bullied by another man is going to be a MASSIVE turn off. And if I had to guess, it's going to be like, 80% of women. A man looking weak isn't ever going to be good for them in the eyes of women.

It's believable in the sense that it's had to be changed for TV. There are lots of boys in groups who'll shout shit at passers by looking to start trouble when they know they outnumber someone. I've seen that, honestly, I wouldn't be surprised it it was at least a 100 times over the years. I've been on the receiving end of having to square up to 4 boys at the same time who tried robbing my stuff while hurling abuse at me for fun. There's been a bunch of times where I just didn't want to fight like, 9 boys at once and just kept walking.

But I'll add this. I don't think that the vast, vast majority of people are worth your time anyway. Any girl who wants her boy risking getting hurt over some stupid shit like this isn't a girl you should put any value in anyway.

I absolutely loved my exe, and I knew she loved me when she lost her shit at me one time. Long story short, there was a guy who was talking shit, I went and dropped my stuff off at home, then went back down to smack the fuck out of him but he wasn't there. I just happened to tell her about it while we were talking on the phone that day and she started going off on me about how stupid it was and what if something had happened to me and so on. I knew then that she loved me too. It was really sweet that she wanted me safe.

As for people talking about defending his woman and so on.

You just know nothing about real world violence.

(Copy Pasted from an old thread.)

I come from one of the roughest areas in my country. Lots of drugs, violence, theft, murders, that kind of thing. I've had guns pointed at me, knives pulled on me, been jumped by groups of people and sucker punched, I've been stuck in the back of police cars for fighting, I've seen people with their faces slashed open and one time I saw a girl biting chunks out of another girls face for talking back to her outside of a bar.

The reality is...

If there's more than one of them, you're fucked.

If they've got a knife, you're fucked.

If they've got a gun, you're fucked.

If they're sufficiently bigger than you, you're fucked.

If they're trained, you're fucked.

If they sucker punch you, you're probably fucked.

If they've got dusties, you're probably also fucked.

And the people attacking and harrassing women in the street, typically aren't super good people, so they're way more likely to press every advantage they have, be it their friends, a knife or so on.

I'm 6'3 and 110kg. None of that means anything against a group of three 5'6 boys, all intent on jumping me at the same time. Or one boy with a knife. Or a gun. Or from behind. Or catching me off guard.

When I was younger I got jumped on a train by like, 4 or 5 boys. I got beaten down and kicked in the face, splitting my lip and leaving me with my bottom canine sticking through my face, so I had to unhook my tooth through my lip again. No one can think clearly and fight when they're beeing hit in the face 4 times a a second.

Funnily enough, when a girl I thought cared about me at the time heard about that her first responce wasn't about feeling sorry for me, or upset, or sad. It was to make sure that I fought back. I was left bleeding with holes in my face, eyes like red tennis balls smashed up legs, and her first thought was to bitch check me. To make sure she wasn't getting involved with a pussy.

I wish girls were aware of how horrible that it. You're in a puddle of your own blood somewhere and the first thing on a lot of girls minds is to man check you. And that's not even a rare thing. It's very common.

People have this idea that if they're simply large enough, they will be able to handle any attacker. It's simply not true. Numbers beats everything.

If you want protection, buy a gun. Because anything short of that and you're just HOPING that the other guy doesn't come with friend, a knife, a gun or isn't much bigger than you are.

BUT, to add on to the end of that. I have put myself in situations where I'm defending friends or strangers against shitty people before. But I'm also a loser who understands that I have very little to lose. No one depends on me or counts on me to be around, so it's not a big deal for me to consider things might go wrongly. Even then, I'm just counting on the other guy backing down.

Lots of men have these fantasies in their heads, where they'll some how be able to handle more than one guy at once and disarmed any armed attacker, but they won't.

I spent a lot of time in gyms and with real fucking head case prison time lunatics, and the one thing I hear from every single trained fighter is that if the other guy has a knife, turn around and sprint away. If there's more than one of them, turn around and sprint away.

I can't stress it enough. Want protection? Get a gun. Anything else just hoping the other side doesn't have more of an advantage than you.

Or be like me and live in a country where you'll do 17 years for carrying a firearm or a mandatory 5 for carrying a knife. Then just hope to christ that things go well if something happens.

The Reddit Comment editor is an absolute fucking nightmare. Youd think one of the biggest sites in the world wouldn't have such dog shit system. Sorry for the bullshit spacing, it's all I can manage with this Something Went Wrong prompt constantly bullying me.

Gitsumrestmf · 2024-07-29T17:31:42+00:00

Everyone can sit at home and think of all the cool ways they'd supposedly handle this. But in reality, most guys would probably handle the situation similarly, +- a little charisma.

Some guys would get into a fight possibly, but would it be better? The date is ruined either way, you'll get restaurant property broken, you will possibly get a few things in your body broken too. All of this to impress some woman you took on a date? All for pride.

If these guys attacked the woman, I'd agree with the "rambos" - fight. Even if you lose. Otherwise, you are fighting for your pride and pride alone. And it's unclear if that woman you may or may not impress will even stick around, regardless.

AngeCruelle · 2024-07-29T17:32:19+00:00

I think I saw this clip in the daily threads a while back.

The woman just sitting there and not doing anything while other men harass her date always bugged me. I find that the vast majority of men don't want to hit a woman and/or go to jail, so you can call their bluff a good amount of the time assuming you don't live in an apocalyptic hellhole. I don't go around trying to start fights obviously but I don't cower in fear whenever a dude is trying to act tough or whatever.

Gravel_Roads · 2024-07-29T16:49:04+00:00

If a woman wants you to FIGHT for her entertainment, she is also a bully

Don't date women who want to see you hurt people. Date women who praise you for not.

Particular_Trade6308 · 2024-07-30T05:43:54+00:00

I once went out with some friends who were wrestlers. On the way out the bar, there was a woman standing in the exit on her phone blocking egress. I called to her several times which she ignored/didn’t hear, and I eventually nudged her aside and walked out. It was a crowded bar, I thought nothing of it.

Well turns out she told her boyfriend that I had touched her or pushed her, and he got in my face as I was getting into a taxi and leaving. He was very aggressive and shoved me against the taxi car. I was ready to swing but before I could, my wrestler friend had him in a chokehold and put him to sleep. His buddy who tried to help got tackled and also choked out. We hopped in the taxi and left before the bouncers/cops could get involved.

Women don’t bear the cost of confrontation so they can be real instigatory. That dude had to be resuscitated because his gf wanted to pick a fight. If there’s a fight brewing I am getting out of there, you don’t know who has a knife/gun or nothing to live for. If my girl loses attraction because I backed down that’s ok, she can dump me and I’ll find another woman. Or I can fight and potentially be dead.

Edit: I’m from a southern state with open carry and a lot of hot heads. I know guys in high school who got into fights over women and pistols came out. Ladies don’t write checks that your boyfriend’s jaw/bones are gonna have to cash.

Quirrelwasachad · 2024-07-29T17:54:08+00:00

"My chemistry is telling me you're a loser".

Bitch thinks men are terminators. Even arnold would get himself killed against a gang of athletes. Any woman who wants the man to fight in this situation is too animepilled to understand reality.

throwaway000102030 · 2024-07-29T17:25:23+00:00

I think he handled the situation as best as he could. He’s like 40. He couldn’t have beaten up a group of high school bullies and like he said, he has kids and can’t risk their livelihoods. I think she handled the situation as fine as she could as well. She told him exactly what it was that gave her the ick and acknowledged he couldn’t have won either way, so now they can part ways and find other people.

I wouldn’t have gotten the ick and don’t think it’s fair she did though. The guy had no other option but to put down his pride for peace sake and even then, did so with confidence and understanding of his limitations and masculinity. He made a rational decision. Good job, dad. I’d get the ick if my date fought 18 year olds to make himself feel more masculine and I’m only in my 20s. I wouldn’t have quietly sat there judging him in a dangerous situation though. That’s fucked up.

Proudvow · 2024-07-29T17:44:38+00:00

Do you think he handled the situation well? Is it believable?

I can't imagine any dude actually saying "please don't kick my ass." By the point where he was threatening it I'd be daring him to try with various slurs.

But then again I wouldn't have told his group to quiet down to begin with, since that was never going to go well lol.

ThatLeval · 2024-07-29T20:18:56+00:00

Do you think he handled the situation well? Is it believable?

No, he shouldn't have said anything to begin with

How do you think she handled things? Realistic?

It's realistic for a significant number of women up to the part of the date ending there and then. I'd say it'd be more realistic if she never saw him the same, cancelled the next date a few days later or it just fizzled out shortly after

Bully believable? What other thoughts do you have about masculinity, maturity, attraction, etc.

A group of guys around that age being yelled at to be quiet by a guy that looks like Louie? Yes it's believable that it could turn into what it turned into. Men socialise differently to Women and so a significant number of Women don't understand how close to physical violence every confrontation is. That's why I cringe every time I see a woman yelling at a guy. She saw guys yelling at each other and copied without fully understanding what was going on

DerpaDerpaDooDinkle · 2024-07-29T21:35:05+00:00

1) No, he didn't handle the situation very well. Also, not very believable, IMO. Anyone who'd yell at a group of knobs for being rowdy would also start throwing punches if one of them came up and got in his face. He should have asked if she wanted to go somewhere else or if she'd rather he complain to the manager. He's not the donut shop police, just because someone's being loud doesn't mean you get to set the rules, the store manager does.

2) I don't think most women would be that upfront or self aware about the situation. She would have just internalized that he was a loser and found some excuse to leave.

3) The douche that approached the table was not a typical bully - too much exposition. In my experience, the number of seconds between talking and throwing punches isn't that long.... but then again, I've never been a deer in headlights either.

Zabadoodude · 2024-07-29T17:14:18+00:00

He tried to flex by confronting a group of guys that were clearly itching for a fight. The "bully" then called his bluff. He handled the situation poorly by starting a confrontation he couldn't win, then being put in his place. Some of the writing is a bit unrealistic for comedic effect, but the general scenario is common enough.

Most women will get the "ick" from that. Not because they expect their man to take on 4 guys in a fight, but because the sight of a man starting a confrontation, then being forced to submit is very unattractive.

If the other guys were acting that loud and aggressive he could have just paid and taken his woman somewhere else. If he framed it as looking out for her comfort and safety, he would have exited the situation seeming more masculine while not having to get his ass beat. Most women wouldn't want you to pick a fight with 4 rowdy guys anyway.

sprckets21 · 2024-07-29T17:05:54+00:00

You have to better casually blow him off, the way he acted would make every girl cringe so hard. He ends up begging him not to fight, makes you look pathetic and weak to women. How’s she supposed to feel protected when that’s how you handle confrontation.

DreaminInChocolate · 2024-07-29T17:14:23+00:00

Why is he yelling at a group of teens to begin with in the situation? I wouldn't call that being bullied.

SaBahRub · 2024-07-29T17:59:58+00:00

My opinion is that men can choose not to date employers looking for a bodyguard

My idea of a fun date involves neither an emergency room nor a police report. Those take hours

My_House_on_Mars · 2024-07-29T18:19:39+00:00

He started it

That's my main ick

DopeAFjknotreally · 2024-07-29T18:57:47+00:00

If you can’t stand up for yourself, you can’t protect your woman or your children. That’s how her primal brain is reacting here.

You don’t have to kick their asses, but you have to show that you’re not being victimized. Even if it means you just confidently say “fuck off or I’m calling the police” without looking like you’re scared or fearful of confrontation.

TallFoundation7635 · 2024-07-29T20:52:19+00:00

He handled the situation terribly, he should have scoped the place out as soon as he walked in and noped out immediately.
She handled things well I think and realistically.
The bully was believable too I think. A lot of losers I knew in highschool were like that, skipping classes to go out and getting into stupid fights.

Large_Wishbone4652 · 2024-07-29T23:33:42+00:00

I think the best thing would be to just move places. No need for talking with them in the first place. Just say "it's getting loud here how about we go elsewhere"

Now in a universe where I don't stutter. I could try to talk with them just ask them if they are celebrating something. Tell them that you have a date there and ask for consideration. This will get you some laugh from them as they are teenagers but will do it's job.

Best case scenario will be to just beat the crap out of that brat in front of all of his friends but I don't live in a John Wick universe where I am nearly invincible and don't need to bother with law enforcement.

ShinyTentaquil · 2024-07-30T00:09:19+00:00

Why didn't they just move somewhere else when the dudes were being noisy ?

kvakerok_v2 · 2024-07-31T20:41:23+00:00

The only right way out of that situation is the proper answer to the question "when is the last time you got your ass kicked?" The right answer is not looking around. The right answer is "not today" with a kick to the shin, arm sweep, and pull it down to help gravity reshape Sean's face with the table. Then you call the other little shits and tell them to take Sean's stupid ass home, then you sit down and finish your coffee.

But most western men are pussies 🤷🏽‍♂️

More importantly, what actually escalated the situation was not Sean, it was the scream "Keep it down!" The right way to deal with the rowdy situation was to approach the boys and ask them if they're celebrating anything since they're so happy and loud. Once they share, say "awesome, I'm really happy for you! I got my date with me here, we're celebrating too! Hey, could you guys dial it back on the volume so I can score tonight? I would really appreciate it."

beautyloser · 2024-07-29T17:06:10+00:00

the stereotype of guys they’re using are stupid, short tempered dickheads. being aggressive and attempting to show dominance is both futile and a waste of time. disengage, distance, silence. violence should always be an absolute last resort. i’m turned off by men who don’t share my values around using your head before your fists, “divine masculine” energy be damned

_blue_midnight_ · 2024-07-29T17:30:53+00:00

I absolutely would've taken the punk up on his offer, but I've also never backed out of a fight. Fuck the woman, I don't give a fuck what she'd think of me, but no one talks to me like that. I am aware I'll die a violent death one day, and I'm okay with that.

KayRay1994 · 2024-07-29T17:53:48+00:00

He did make himself look pretty damn pathetic. Thing is, he’s a ring on the thought that this will get physical, the majority of the time that’s all talk, and say the bully did strike first, then it becomes self defense and what he’s doing becomes assault.

Certainly try to deesclate, there are tons of ways to do so without debasing yourself but when you go to “please don’t kick my ass” you’re basically begging, and nobody likes a spineless beggar - and this ain’t about the woman too, this is about you maintaining your own spine and self respect. You do shit like that, yeah, you don’t respect yourself.

M3taBuster · 2024-07-29T20:05:56+00:00

Do you think he handled the situation well? Is it believable?

No. That was pathetic. I don't even blame his date for getting the "ick". I got it myself watching that lol. Not saying he should've gone out of his way to fight the guy, but he should've stood up for himself verbally, and if a fight happened, it happened. I'd rather lose a fight than be made to look like a bitch.

How do you think she handled things? Realistic?

I think she handled it fine. It wasn't her fight. The bully was targeting him, so it was his decision whether to escalate or de-escalate. The best thing for her to do was not get involved to avoid making it worse, and let him handle it how he wanted to.

Was it realistic? No. I think most women would've either mouthed off at the bully and made their date pay the price for it, or inserted themselves as peacekeeper and desperately tried to keep their date from getting into a fight (and humiliate him in the process by demonstrating lack of confidence in his ability to win). She actually handled it better than most women by not getting involved.

Bully believable? What other thoughts do you have about masculinity, maturity, attraction, etc.

No. I think the acting for the bullies was over the top and unrealistic. I've met plenty of people in my life who could be considered "bullies", but nobody acts like that.

And their behavior had nothing to do with masculinity. They were just assholes who don't know how to behave in public. It's not "toxic masculinity" it's just toxicity. And I don't think their behavior would be attractive to most women either. Both the bullies and Louis were unattractive in this exchange. What's attractive and masculine is not seeking fights but being willing to fight to stand up for yourself and others.

serpensmercurialis · 2024-07-30T07:54:50+00:00

Do you think he handled the situation well? Is it believable?

No, yes.

How do you think she handled things? Realistic?

I mean I personally wouldn’t have sat there mute the entire time but idk how well she knows louis in the movie. I probably wouldn’t stick up for a random date that instigated and then didn’t de-escalate unless the situation was actually dire, but I would intervene if I thought someone I’m actually in a relationship with was getting too hot under the collar. I do think it was realistic and reasonable if she wasn’t really attached to him.

Bully believable?

I think so?

What other thoughts do you have about masculinity, maturity, attraction, etc.

The ick is the bully having better social skills than louis while being facetious. You have to have conflict de-escalation skills regardless of whether or not you have the ability to physically resist the threat.

Top_Entertainment979 · 2024-07-29T19:12:33+00:00

I don't think it's wise to go around provoking strangers. Maybe that makes me a bitch, but you never know what kind of psycho you're gonna run into. There's no shortage of people willing to throw their whole life away just because they don't want to feel like they got punked.

I think most women would have the reaction she did. It's a primal thing. What's maybe the one thing basically all women can agree they want to feel with their partner? Safe and protected. This is evidence he either isn't willing to or won't be able to protect you.

Idk if the "bully" is believable. I think it's most of the time the psycho kid walks up behind him and cracks him over the head right away rather than stands there and talks to him. In my experience people like that just don't have that kind of composure.

TallFoundation7635 · 2024-07-29T20:46:35+00:00

He handled the situation terribly he could have just called security or walked away from the confrontation but not getting into a fight over a girl that you barely know is a good idea.
She handled things poorly and not realistically, I don't think most women would do that.
No the bully was not believable at all lmfao, sounded like an amateur skit. No one goes up to a random person while sober and tells him that he's going to kick that man's ass.

SeveralSadEvenings · 2024-07-29T17:32:27+00:00

When my husband and I started dating, he was frequently the target of Af_______ Am______ bullies; he a scrawny white guy, me a pretty mixed girl. There was a lot of verbal harassment centered around "taking one of the good ones".

But my husband never let it get under his skin, he'd always diffuse the situation with mockery, humor, and wit. He'd clown on the dude, enough so that the bros would start laughing, and the aggressor would either double down (and get called out by his bros), or, start laughing along with everyone else.

To this day I'm amazed and in awe of such social finesse.

Had my husband decided to throw hands I would have felt the ick, for sure. My husband knows his limitations, but he also knows that physically fighting isn't the only tool available when it comes to confrontations.

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Crimson-Pilled · 2024-07-29T16:45:04+00:00

If you can't defend yourself, how will you defend her?

Title	Guy is bullied while on a date skit - thoughts on how it was handled?
Author	Windmill_flowers
Upvotes	9
Comments	145
Date	July 29, 2024 4:37 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1ef44j4/guy_is_bullied_while_on_a_date_skit_thoughts_on/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/guy-is-bullied-while-on-a-date-skit-thoughts-on.1525691 https://theredarchive.com/post/1525691

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