Is dating today worth it?

cx456f · 2021-12-13T14:54:02+00:00

Work, trade crypto, sex robot, repeat until you die

Atlas-B-Shruggin · 2021-12-13T13:36:07+00:00

nope, dont date

NarniaFox · 2021-12-13T13:55:32+00:00

You should figure it out for yourself, there isn't a universal answer for this question.

It's worth for me and my husband. Neither of us had to put some extraordinary efforts into it in the beginning of our relationships though. We were living our lives, getting education and socializing. We met at college, he asked me out a bit later and we started going out. We enjoyed each other's company and gradually fell in love. We both put similar efforts into it, we paid in turns or whoever had money paid as we both were broke students, he didn't have to jump out of his skin to impress me and I didn't have to "doll up" or pretend to be someone I wasn't. Now there isn't anyone closer to me than he is and vice versa. We're married, no one is planning to divorce in any foreseeable future, but even if we do at some point, we have similar income levels, so it's not that one party will lose more financially-wise.

I get that we both had it really easy and fortunate compared to most people. I guess if you have to put far more efforts than you're ready or if you get only negative results out of dating and if you're okay with staying single, opting out is a valid option. Some of my close friends haven't been dating for as long as I know them as they just don't have time/desire/anyone they're interested in and they're doing okay. They're realistic about their future and they aren't bothered by the prospect of being single forever.

343_peaches_and_tea · 2021-12-13T15:01:39+00:00

But on the other hand I want a family. But im really not sure if its worth. So whats your opinion about that?

Having a family is kind of awesome.

I know it's quite popular to not want kids right now. But honestly having two sons is kind of incredible. I love, love, love playing Minecraft with my 4yo son while he sits in my lap.

Being a father is amazing. It's hard work for sure, but it is incredibly rewarding.

-Ivar-TheBoneless · 2021-12-13T18:42:45+00:00

Well yes it's worth it. I just wouldn't recommend spending all your energy on dating. I seen many young guys fall into a trap of working overtime at a shitty job to buy a nice car to impress girls, spend all their free time in the gym, and the rest of their money on funding there dating. They spend so much time and energy on dating that there isn't anything left to invest in their future.

Unfortunately that's just what it takes for the average guy to get laid today. I would say to avoid that trap and focus on building yourself up and date when you can without spending massive amounts of energy.

goatismycopilot · 2021-12-13T13:59:00+00:00

Okay don't date.

JacobMoogberg69 · 2021-12-13T13:57:32+00:00

Read this post as if you were a woman and ask yourself "would I want to date someone who wouldn't want to want to date himself".

Orange_Paisley · 2021-12-13T13:58:35+00:00

Date and marry women who have their own jobs and assets, then you won’t be stupid paranoid about being divorced.

deste_eloise · 2021-12-13T15:14:07+00:00

Yes, dating is worth it. I love meeting new people and learning about them.

I’m not on OLD tho and that sounds really unappealing.

Hegemon1984 · 2021-12-13T15:13:07+00:00

I live in Chicago and the dating scene here is definitely worth it.

At your age, I discovered the RP and PUA community. I'm 29 now. However, if I had to change one thing it's don't focus on theory. No more watching RP YouTube videos, nor reading RP articles. Be pragmatic. Focus on your dating life and take steps to improve that. Learn techniques, inner game strategies, and get out infield in either a day or night setting.

I couldn't tell you how many dudes I met who "weren't ready" and spend years of their life researching theory without putting in the work.

empresa_josefina · 2021-12-13T14:32:25+00:00

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Beginning_Proof_2160 · 2021-12-13T13:53:18+00:00

If you make a lot of money find a sugar baby and guard your semen

Dating is not worth it

TotalTravesty · 2021-12-13T14:02:59+00:00

I don't mind dating but you're answering your own question for yourself. Don't date. Seek one-off sex wherever you can. Adopt or surrogate. Raise the kids as a single father. Boom.

xFallacyx69 · 2021-12-13T14:04:53+00:00

Don’t do OLD… I don’t know why people think paying (if you were born with a penis) to swipe pictures on a phone attached to a short bio is better than 5 seconds with a stranger in a bar.

Only date within your socio-economic class… or get a prenup. Laws are NOT favorable towards men. As long as you make decisions based on how she treats you vs how she SAYS she treats you or how you FEEL about her, you should be fine.

AquaChip · 2021-12-13T13:58:26+00:00

That’s for you to decide. Don’t date if you don’t think it’s worth it.

heyitsjeape · 2021-12-13T14:30:52+00:00

In my experience, there was no one on there that was even looking to meet someone. I wouldn’t be so concerned about getting married.

anon_likes_tendies · 2021-12-13T15:00:26+00:00

Nope.

Jamless_universe · 2021-12-13T15:07:31+00:00

If you think dating isn't worth it,then simply don't date lol

Dating isn't compulsory part of life and nobody will force you to date.

insertcredit2 · 2021-12-13T15:09:51+00:00

If you have money then don't get married.

undersupervixen · 2021-12-13T15:34:35+00:00

You don't have to marry every woman you date. One step at a time lol.

abaxeron · 2021-12-13T15:59:46+00:00

Don't be desperate, don't chase, don't waste your energy. If you meet a worthy woman, good. If not, still okay. If you're struggling with a relationship instead of having fun in it, something is not right.

healththrow345 · 2021-12-13T17:59:48+00:00

Engineers habe it hardest in dating according to okcupid study. It's not a sexy profession like Doctor, Lawyer or Firefighter. GL.

The_LSD_Fairy · 2021-12-13T22:34:15+00:00

It's completely worth it, and that's from someone who met his fiancee though OLD. It's great. Without a doubt the best thing thats ever happened to me. Someone to love and to love me back. And God damn the cuddles might be better then the sex. Just to have someone to scratch your back for you 👌. And it took TWO years of OLD to find her, so worth it. I would have looked for a decade to find her. And in hindsight I definitely don't care that OK Cupid cost $12/month.

figuringMylife · 2021-12-13T23:01:02+00:00

dating is cool. the way i see it is, 3 ways. marry someone who makes money & doesn’t care about yours marry someone who will love you and get a prenup never get divorced “many matches” is better than none so you must be at least average. maybe hit some public places to confidently ask girls out or something instead of OLD sometimes

Teflon08191 · 2021-12-14T05:07:20+00:00

I'd say casual dating is worth it. Dating with the intent of marriage though? Not so much. Too many interesting people out there to be chained to just one of them.

But that's just my opinion.

VanVahlen · 2021-12-18T20:19:56+00:00

Lol no, stay Single its the better way nowdays

aquamanouttawater · 2021-12-13T13:55:03+00:00

Honestly, no. If you want sex, just look for hookups, but everyone has already had their fair share of shitty experiences and everyone has their guards up. No real connections can be made when everyone is hyperfocusing on your flaws.

te357 · 2021-12-13T13:57:21+00:00

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No_Exercise_8670 · 2021-12-13T14:11:19+00:00

Get fit, get on tinder, get at least some sex. If you earn good money and you are fit you will have success. If you don't want or don't like to do that, then yeah not worth it.

jeroy-aba-1975 · 2021-12-13T14:14:15+00:00

Online dating isn’t worth it. The best thing is social circle, the second best thing is cold-approaching everywhere, i.e. street, public transport, etc.

Your peak attractiveness is around 30-40 and this is the age where you should look for long-term relationship (if you want kids).

To be attractive: hit gym and pump iron, learn to be confident, learn to be funny, dress better and have decent professional career.

If you mix confidence, good career and fitness, you are golden. Once you have experience you will know which girls are ltr-worthy.

Next-Possession612 · 2021-12-13T14:23:16+00:00

Just be honest with yourself and the person you date. Clarify the stakes with your girlfriend.

Beginning_Proof_2160 · 2021-12-13T13:42:09+00:00

dating yes, marriage Hell no, You don't gain anything as a man from marriage

That__EST · 2021-12-13T14:57:59+00:00

Life has risk. Something people are really really bad about dealing with lately.

I found it worth the risk, and were I single I'd date.

I didnt work so hard to lose half of my assets through divorce

Do you plan to die and have it buried with you in a borrow?

D4sthian · 2021-12-13T13:55:06+00:00

Nope, save yourself time and headaches and don’t do it. Be free, get a tight group of friends with which you share passions, hobbies and travel together.

Keep things casual with women. Remember, once you commit, you’re basically handing her your freedom.

KirthWGersen · 2021-12-13T14:35:43+00:00

I find online dating great fun. It is a good way to find FWB, friends, lovers, etc. Meet new people and have fun.

If you do it right, it takes up a minimal amount of time (15 mins max.) to set up a meet.

Dating in any form is wonderful: you get sex, companionship, affection, fun and great experiences.

If it is not working for you, you know the answer: focus on what you need to improve about yourself. Then try and try again until good social skills become second nature.

You can have a family without marriage more easily today than in any recent era.

Thinking things aren't possible is self-limiting. Use your imagination, design a strategy, and follow it to get what you want.

Watson_USA · 2021-12-13T15:16:40+00:00

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te357 · 2021-12-13T13:50:39+00:00

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Laytheblameonluck · 2021-12-13T15:02:02+00:00

You need to learn game.

NoMarriageNoKids · 2021-12-13T15:50:26+00:00

Honestly, I'm going to agree that it's just not really worth it for me at this point. If I meet someone organically then great. But, I'm not actively looking. I use OLD for fun and casual connections. But, not for serious relationships anymore even though that's how I found my last one. OLD is just so polluted now over the past 5 years. I used to enjoy it but now after being on an app for 5 minutes and swiping 15-20 profiles (90% left) I'm just over it for a week or two.

Your fear of divorce is valid. It's even worse if you have children and get divorced. Men often get royally screwed in divorces with kids because courts still favor mothers for custody which means you get to pay all of your income to your ex-wife for 18 years for the privilege of not seeing your kids very often. It's emotionally and financially devastating. And, if your wife is a special kind of evil it can even land you in legal trouble with criminal charges of false domestic violence allegations.

Come read some stories over at r/Marriageisntworthit

2021-12-13T19:12:45+00:00

You won't lose half your assets if she make the same or more than you. You will have to split the assets you two acquired together while married.

DontwantaFairOne · 2021-12-13T15:11:38+00:00

Lol, I guess it depends on your options

midwestufohunter · 2021-12-13T15:15:29+00:00

sarkington · 2021-12-13T15:29:39+00:00

If you have to ask, it’s not

michael1962-01 · 2021-12-13T15:34:44+00:00

Have fun. Live the world like it is...

evanstown21 · 2021-12-13T15:38:05+00:00

If you can’t trust the woman you’re dating, might as well not date at all

ruboyuri · 2021-12-13T16:36:54+00:00

Stop asking us to live your life for you. All the info is already out there

sushiii2020 · 2021-12-13T16:45:27+00:00

If you feel like this, don’t date. Spare a poor naive woman the headache.

cccccclairee · 2021-12-13T16:50:03+00:00

I’m not sure why men that are so worried about losing half their assets don’t set a standard with partners that things are 50/50 contribution. Ya if you want a kept woman you purchase then you risk having to support her after the relationship ends. So don’t have a relationship like that. Find an equal partner.

IcarusKiki · 2021-12-13T18:18:55+00:00

Nope socializing isnt worth it. Just live in the pod, eat the bugs, and work until you die.

DXBrigade · 2021-12-13T19:43:28+00:00

The average guy need to get off dating apps to increase his dating chances.

You should try speed dating or a marriage agency.

Valuable_Passion4938 · 2021-12-13T20:16:05+00:00

ZealousidealAd7191 · 2021-12-13T20:44:05+00:00

If a family is what you want then dating is worth it, just take it slow and be sure to vet the women you associate with adequately and proceed with caution eyes open. Don’t get lost in the “fun” of the relationship. Date with intention and purpose, and don’t let a woman convince you that she is ever doing you a favor by dating you. You’re the one who stands to lose the most if shit goes sour, so it’s on HER to prove to YOU that she is worthy, not the other way around.

It sounds like you have or are getting your shit together so you’ve already decided YOU are worthy. Don’t ever be afraid to ask questions that YOU think are important, and don’t be afraid to walk away. This is your life after all and you have a right to protect it how you see fit. A woman is not entitled to your protection, attention, your time, or your money. They have to earn it. It is a privilege NOT a right and privileges can and should be revoked if abused. Never forget you have a purpose, trust your gut and don’t let ANY woman steer you away from your purpose.

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Playful_Art_5364 · 2021-12-13T16:06:54+00:00

It’s better to have loved and lost then to never had loved at all.

Title	Is dating today worth it?
Author	te357
Upvotes	20
Comments	158
Date	December 13, 2021 1:30 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/rffrpt/is_dating_today_worth_it/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/is-dating-today-worth-it.1092695 https://theredarchive.com/post/1092695

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