Know any guys that have stopped paying for dates?

TheRedPillRipper · 2026-03-01T01:58:58+00:00

ask women to pay for dates

Whilst I never asked for women to pay, my default first date invite was always either a morning coffee date with a walk, or a training ‘date’ and coffee after. Low investment. Low pressure. Worked a charm.

VenusNoire_ · 2026-03-01T02:45:20+00:00

Women generally don’t hire male escorts. A man would need significant social capital and appeal towards women in order to get women to pay for his company. His value would have to be more than physical attractiveness. I find it weird when men fixate on the idea of women paying on dates in the name of “equality”. They’re usually downplaying or ignoring historical and cultural context behind why certain dating etiquette/norms exist in the first place.

84JPG · 2026-03-01T01:52:21+00:00

The most attractive men I know happen to also be well-off. They have zero interest in 50/50 or getting paid even if they theoretically could work - which I don’t think it would, at least at the early stage of dating; even for “Chad”.

Honestly, I think most normal men are just genuinely not wired to be interested in such an arrangement. The few I know who tend to pull stuff like that, tend to be grifters or con artists in the general sense - I have an acquaintance who is good looking but not “Chad” or anything extraordinary either who somehow manages to constantly date very wealthy women who fly him around, buy him expensive stuff, etc.; he’s been unemployed for years and lives off his harem of rich women (who themselves believe he’s a retired investor or whatever lie he cooks for each one) - “Tinder Swindler” stuff.

theminxisback · 2026-03-01T01:46:40+00:00

I honestly prefer to pay for things myself.

Would be interesting to see more women do that.

2026-03-01T04:18:40+00:00

I know several, and they're all lonely single men now. For all the talk of wanting cheap dates, I can safely say most women are not interested in that when it comes to their own personal dating life.

AlmondMilkMaybe · 2026-03-01T03:34:52+00:00

I was on a second date recently and, as is my custom, I insisted on paying. The guy seemed initially very uncomfortable with it, even though neither of us is broke. I suspect this could be because a lot of men understand that they're in competition for quality women, and demonstrating generosity is one of the ways they distinguish themselves.

Essentially, even though we're both comfortable financially, it's still a signal that he wanted to transmit to me. And most wealthy men I've dated are the same way, so I think they enjoy it tbh. They treat. I giggle and swoon. So on and so forth...

Axis_Control · 2026-03-01T11:20:55+00:00

My boyfriend and I are taking turns to make dinners and lunches for dates instead of going to restraunts to save money 🥰

DeciduousLesbian · 2026-03-01T01:44:57+00:00

Seems like it would be an instant turnoff for most women due to gender roles

No one enforces gender roles more strongly than women. Men will literally accept anything.

EmpressJJ · 2026-03-01T02:14:24+00:00

I saw a guy like twice, he was picky over 4,15€. Yes it's wildly unattractive. Cry about equality and gender roles all you want. Being stingy is not attractive. If I dont know you and thats the first impression I get, then thats the first impression I get. ^^ At first I did the bill 50:50 but when I realized that person will literally fight over 4€, it just goes too far dude. And yes I "paid" it back with a round of drinks. But I dont feel like being in a friendship where everything feels transactional to the smallest little thing.

DankuTwo · 2026-03-01T07:22:00+00:00

I’ve had a woman pay substantial sums for dates, weekends away, etc……but she was absolutely loaded. Multi-millionaire (family money, obviously), while I was on a pretty normal salary.

I didn’t mind and neither did she. We both understood the dynamics and it was silly of me to object (although I did pay for plenty things as well, of course).

BrainMarshal · 2026-03-02T23:28:34+00:00

I stopped paying for dates in my early 20s. I didn't stop finding women to date though. I got married to one.

This is a dead horse topic. Men won this war. Can we move on to the next fight?

ladybird_00 · 2026-03-01T02:28:31+00:00

I’ve never paid for a date

RelativeCondition915 · 2026-03-01T06:38:36+00:00

Why would I do that, though? If a man is the prettiest little elf model in the room, I'm not going to impress him by buying his dinner. If an man asks me to pay for him, he isn't attracted to me. (And also clearly chronically online.)

love_in_october · 2026-03-01T08:55:33+00:00

I don't know anyone, male or female, who isn't willing to pay for their own food or activities on dates. Expecting someone else to buy things for you when they haven't even offered yet would be considered incredibly rude. (YMMV if you're from a different culture.)

untitledbydangelo · 2026-03-01T03:21:10+00:00

I don’t know any guy who stopped or would stop paying for dates. I’ve been on a good amount of dates in my life and never paid (as a woman). I just think it’s really engrained into culture and hasn’t really been questioned! I personally would see it as a red flag if a man wanted to do 50/50. I would take it as he isn’t very interested in me romantically lol.

iSellNuds4RedditGold · 2026-03-01T10:35:26+00:00

I don't do restaurant dates. Usually activities, ones I enjoy where I feel like myself, chicks usually dig it and I get to see how she behaves.

DMmeClownPics · 2026-03-01T04:19:37+00:00

I like paying for dates. Maybe it’s because I’m bisexual. Maybe it’s because I have a thing for submissive men. I have no idea. But it’s so rare that a man will just let me pay without argument. Especially for a first date. And even if he does he starts feeling weird about me paying for everything and insists on paying about half the time for stuff.

MarioWilson122 · 2026-03-01T02:48:25+00:00

Seems like it would be an instant turnoff for most women due to gender roles, but… maybe not.

No maybe to it, lol. They definitely will be turned off, if most men decided to do that. Only really top tier guys can get away with that with most women. I suppose if men lowered their standards to the floor, it could be more possible. Thing is most men don't really want to do that.

Zabadoodude · 2026-03-01T03:16:18+00:00

My brother's gf pays for most of their dates. He's in college and she's a few years older working full time. He's 6'3 and really into fitness

Don't know any other examples of this happening

SecondEldenLord · 2026-03-01T14:10:03+00:00

Asking women to pay for dates is a sure way to get slapped by them, insulted or even accused of God knows what.

EugeneCezanne · 2026-03-01T01:51:07+00:00

Nope, cant think of one.

Ive been 50/50 for most of my career. Ive definitely had more early dates where the woman paid for everything than ones where I have, at least in the past decade or so. But neither is actually common.

After the early dates, it has tended to be whoever makes significantly more money pays most of the time.

Derfelkardan · 2026-03-01T03:16:17+00:00

Since I like younger men, when I go out with them I most often pay for my part. I would be willing to pay for them if we’re going to a cheap place (I’m a cheapskate myself and I’m ok with the guy being like that as well, as long as he’s not abusing the situation or trying to leach off me for a long time)… I am not doing well financially, and when I go out with older men that I know have a good salary, then I let them pay for my part of the dinner as well

icypiee · 2026-03-01T10:27:00+00:00

The second the man wants me to pay I immediately move on to the next

Throwawaypmme2 · 2026-03-01T02:31:11+00:00

Ive only paid for two. Women have always been more than to hop on wherever and whenever.

Dates mean nothing in the grand scheme of things. And women who insist that you pay probably aren't going to reciprocate very well in my experience. The women who pony up and put skin in the game, cash or whatever are the ones that are actually invested in a good outcome.

Maybe im extremely good looking. Ive never had trouble hitting on ANY woman. Most guys always kept their girlfriends and wives away from me. Ive been told by a bunch of women and men that I'm really good looking, and many other compliments when I shave and get a haircut.

Dont take my experience as gospel, but you just need to fail a lot, get out there, and be willing to do what I do. Which is go after what you want. If you want to get laid, get off reddit. Go out, stop bitching. The same goes for any woman. What are you doing to change your situation, you need to constantly be moving towards a goal otherwise you're falling behind

AutoModerator · 2026-02-28T20:05:28+00:00

Attention!

You can post off topic/jokes/puns as a comment to this Automoderator message.
For "Debate" and "Question for X" Threads: Parent comments that aren't from the target group will be removed, along with their child replies.
If you want to agree with OP instead of challenging their view or if the question is not targeted at you, post it as an answer to this comment.
OP you can choose your own flair according to these guidelines., just press Flair under your post!

Thanks for your cooperation and enjoy the discussion!

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

2026-03-01T01:57:02+00:00

I never did circa 2015 when I went on dates

9guyKguy9 · 2026-03-01T02:04:45+00:00

One physically attractive and charismatic. He hasn't stop in all cases now he has a serious relationship but in the past for many women they were 50-50 or they paid. He is the outlier

mandoa_sky · 2026-03-01T02:56:20+00:00

depends how long you've been together? at one point me and my boyfriend started taking turns footing bills because we kept accidentally picking restaurants that didn't let us split bills.

we were exclusive though

thinkB4WeSpeak · 2026-03-01T03:25:54+00:00

I mean the majority of my dates with people I do 50/50 or they'll pay, I'll pay, back and forth. Never have wanted someone to fully pay for my stuff but I think it's happened once, made me feel weird. However I'm a low love language of acts of service or gifts.

JMoon33 · 2026-03-01T13:21:57+00:00

I live in a very leftist city where feminism is very strong (I'm not in the US) and when I went on dates we always each paid for our own things. Now that I'm in a serious relationship we just alternate who pays.

J-MAMA · 2026-03-01T13:52:18+00:00

I haven't paid for "dates" in years.

We agree to a mutually enjoyable experience, if you're looking for someone to pay for that then go ask yo dad

duhthrowawey · 2026-03-01T22:55:54+00:00

Well if I can be crude...the hood rat method (not a real method just a name I came up with) is an easy way but you have to be good looking or basically be a plug to fun for women.

Its just casually being in thier circle making sexual tension and hanging out with them at some point it may be one on one or a good excuse to start dating if shes intruiged.

Makesmewantoholla · 2026-03-02T14:28:38+00:00

It really sounds like you don't have a lot of disposable income. If that is the case date once a month so you can afford it or not date at all. You can't change the game women are traditional in that regard. I am a woman and I can say for sure it would change the dynamics. It would probably end any possibility of a second date.

Our thinking is if we have to pay for a date we might as well go out with our girlfriends and skip the dating all together.

Logical_Breadfruit49 · 2026-03-04T20:48:38+00:00

The most optimal strategy for men looking to leech off of women is to pay for the first date, get her emotionally invested in the man, and then get her to pay for things by exploiting her sunk cost fallacy.

It's not really viable to get women to pay for the first date, even if the man is attractive, because then there is no sunk cost fallacy that the woman is operating on.

Artistic_Bumblebee17 · 2026-03-11T06:41:32+00:00

In my experience they will never directly ask. They give you a short time frame to give it up - no dinner lol

Head-Language-2977 · 2026-03-01T02:20:57+00:00

(45M) I don’t personally know men who can get away with not paying for dates, but I personally have gone on dates with several decent looking women in their 40s (legitimate 5s and 6s) who thanked me for the dinner date and mentioned they’ve been on Tinder and/or Bumble years and mentioned I was the first dinner date they had off of the app. I immediately felt like a giant sucker and a foodie call victim. Needless to say, I never got a second date with any of these women. These women were probably going straight to other guys houses after getting the 🍆 emoji.

Throwaway0-285 · 2026-03-01T02:49:28+00:00

I mean sometimes we take turns. I know that once I graduate college I’ll be the one paying for all the dates lol

Top-Spring9697 · 2026-03-01T05:48:44+00:00

No; because men paying for dates is seen as a symbolic thing that can't be reversed entirely without a woman feeling devalued.

What for the most part happens instead is more subtle; attractive men get away with paying for somewhat less expensive presents and meals and receive more sexual and other favours earlier in the relationship, women are themselves somewhat more generous in the care and sympathy they offer the man, etc.

Attractive men don't get to become the woman in the relationship - they rather get more womanly care from the woman.

Junior-Campaign-6326 · 2026-03-01T02:16:27+00:00

Nope, I make sure the man pays if its a date. If its colleagues then we split. I had men try the coffee and walk date on me and I politely declined them. I did one of each- its stupid and only low quality men offer them. Dinner dates seem to have more serious men.

ThatBitchA · 2026-03-01T02:00:50+00:00

I've fully paid for dates.

Not first dates but I've paid for 2nd or 3rd or 61st dates.

Winter-Item4335 · 2026-03-01T22:36:58+00:00

We never stop paying for everything! First comes dating then comes marriage then comes the baby carriage then it gets really expensive. Daughters are their expensive cars and insurance their 10 yrs of travel softball and god forbid they go to the same colleges that I pay for dopey boyfriends are on my tit too. If I never married King Steve would be sitting on my pile of money and gold in my CLEAN long paid for home where I had a chef and cleaning person instead of checking the couch cushions for my lunch money for myself if a messy house that I still owe 7 for years on. It never fucking ends

Title	Know any guys that have stopped paying for dates?
Author	mnt68
Upvotes	14
Comments	143
Date	February 28, 2026 8:05 PM UTC (5 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1rhcijl/know_any_guys_that_have_stopped_paying_for_dates/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/know-any-guys-that-have-stopped-paying-for-dates.1574464 https://theredarchive.com/post/1574464

Comments