N-counts?

TheCandyMan25 · 2020-09-09T01:04:41+00:00

N-count is almost entirely dependent on life circumstances, and less about morals. The vast majority of people these days will opt to sleep around in their late teens/early 20s (basically, college) if given the opportunity. It's really not about morals. The perfect virgin christian girl exists for sure, but it's not very common outside of rural areas.

So how does a girl get her n-count? Again, life circumstances.

Girl 1: LTR throughout high school, then another LTR as she enters college. She breaks off the LTR senior year of college and has sex with 7 guys in a year. She now has an n-count of 9 which is fairly average.

Girl 2: LTR in high school, but goes to college single. She fucks 7 guys a year from freshman year to senior year and now has an n-count of ~30. She's now a "slut", even though her morals and sexual discretion are the same as the first girl who isn't.

You also have girls who had an 8 year relationship or something crazy, then fucked four guys in a month before hopping into a new relationship. N-count of 6, but the same "morals" as the slut.

The truth is the vast majority of girls 18-30 are going to sleep around while they're single. The real deciding factor in their n-count is how much time they've spent single.

Trust me I know/met hundreds of girls who've had several casual relationships and they're anyone from the weird anime girl to the pre-med student to the coke head. Some girls won't have casual sex when they're single, but they're few and far between.

Tyler_Gatsby · 2020-09-08T21:46:06+00:00

As a dude with a, "high N" I'd guess real numbers for women are something like:

30+yr olds - 20+ 25-30yr olds - 10+ Less than 25 - 0-5

I've met way more under 25 to teenage virgin/almost virgin women than I did or knew of when I was that young. I think they're rebelling against their more free loving mothers that are more around my age. 40ish

AnarchoNAP · 2020-09-08T21:14:53+00:00

There are a few things going on:

People are much more open/less capable of hiding the casual sex that they have.

There is a small amount of women with triple digit numbers.

Men are going to places where you are likely to find women in the triple digits, fucking around, then acting surprised that the women they are having casual sex with are having casual sex.

Men are waiting to attempt to settle down until their late 20s/early 30s then bitching about how all the women left are old/used up/traumatized/etc. They haven't improved themselves in the interim you see, they just waited and are mad that the women are also older.

This is not all men by any means, its just where the complaining comes from.

GennyX · 2020-09-09T03:34:07+00:00

I definitely think the guys who are bitter inflate it.

ldonnawho · 2020-09-08T21:59:06+00:00

I am not sure how people can get into the three digits, I don't even think there are a 100 men in my city that I would find attractive enough for sex.

I think the hookup culture shows how true some of this stuff is and since a vast majority of women/men have decided sex has no meaning and just do it for "fun"

I am in the 10-15 range depending on how you count it and I am 31

SherbertBacon · 2020-09-08T23:21:31+00:00

So, folks out there in the dating world, is sex really happening as much as some men online are claiming?

No. My own N-count is only borderline "high" by male standards and nearly every woman I've dated has had fewer partners than me. My suspicion is this prediction of unfathomably high N-counts comes from basement dwellers who don't meet women and men who only encounter women in clubs/Spring Break like contexts. It colors their perception.

And if it is projecting from men, why is that happening?

Mate guarding is a natural response. Perceived mate-guarding from very insecure men will amplify this negative projection. It requires self awareness to not wring your hands in anxious quivering from self-created stressors. I'll leave it to you to determine how much self-awareness most people have.

poppy_blu · 2020-09-08T21:51:06+00:00

Its the combination of:

paranoia. This is a very risk averse crowd. Risk averse people who don’t really want to engage in the risk activity (cause lets be honest, there is always some level of risk involved) tend to exaggerate the risk as a justification for avoiding the risk.
lack of experience. Yes, I said it. Too many are forming their beliefs from stories shared online instead of real life experience. It becomes a vacuum of confirmation bias. And I honestly think some are literally basing it on porn.
projection. Some cannot get their heads around the fact that women are not men with vaginas. They’ve convinced themselves that women are “privileged” because there is an infinite number of men willing to stick their dicks in her, and they think, well if I was a woman, I’d be fucking left and right because I could.
FOMO. This is related to the last one. Many had/have limited experience with the social circles germane to young people. They imagine that life for “normies” is one big 15 year orgy and glorify it, which tends to result in one of two thought processes: I am oppressed because it didn’t get to play in the magical land of casual sex like chad did, or I am better than those morally bankrupt people who threw their lives away having casual sex.
Non westerners. Yes sorry to say, this seems to be particularly pertinent to men who live in or are from non western countries. There has been a low key but growing base of users from places like the Middle East who seem preoccupied with proving western culture is “degenerate,” especially western women. And they’re likely to believe and repeat the worst of everything said about women.

I’m old too but at some point common sense should tell anyone that a woman in her 20s with a triple digit count is going to have some lifestyle and personality tells that are fairly obvious.

But then that assumes that they actually want to date and have relationships with women, and more and more I have my doubts. I think many are stuck in a very unhealthy mindset where they are conflicted by what they believe western society tells young men they should be (conquering women) and what they want (traditional low risk courtship) — hence all the BS about being “shamed.” Some frankly have the emotional baggage of fear of women and social situations.

Just MO. I know this hurts for a lot of men to read and I don’t mean it to be insulting but the obsession with this stuff gets to a level that it is just not healthy. If they really find the vast majority of women so disgusting and off putting, and they can’t get past it, maybe they really are better off opting out.

throwaway91078 · 2020-09-08T23:46:45+00:00

I think you are giving way too much emphasis on this. The N count is just a selection metric not the ultimate source of truth men use to screen for commitment. You don't judge a woman because of her N count, you judge a woman because of her behaviours/intentions. Her N count is just one of the many things that can give her true self away more easily.

Simply put, I can ask a woman what her N count is (pointless as other men have stated), but let's assume I do and she replies that it is three men. I cannot know in advance but you can be sure by the end of the first date, or the second, I'll know whether she lied or not. How? Her behaviours. It's not hard, a promiscuous girl with a "modern upbringing" is never gonna be able to fake it enough to look like a non promiscuous woman. That's why all the FDS strategy is non sense, likewise the TRP where any smart girl can figure it out in the first couple of hours (if she wants to).

About the reality or high N count, yes it is true but only in the top half of female attractiveness (6+) and obviously there is gonna be a minority of girls that do that to a lesser extent. It's not even high N count per se, it's "higher" N count than the men's one since the only men that can keep a highish count are very attractive men. If for women the doors of casual sex are open from 6+, for men it's at least 8+ (some would say even 9+).

That's where the problem is since it means the average girl has had 2-3 times the number of sexual partner the average non attractive man has had. As a man I guarantee 100% that if men had the same kind of casual sex access there would be no discussion whatsoever about this, or if it would it would be carried by those excluded (5s and below).

There is no solution. The old patriarchy model was bad because in most cases it indirectly forced women to enter relationships with men they weren't attracted to or be society outcasts with no family prospects. The current model solved that but it doesn't scale since there are only so many attractive men around and in a casual sex market they have no incentive to settle down; which in turn forces women to give up or go for men they are not attracted to but are tolerable. And obviously the number of very attractive men is limited.

The more I read this subreddit the more I start to believe we can only accept the sad reality of families being formed only by the top range of attractive people. Many average men who in the past would have been considered "a catch" are often living in loneliness (nobody wants to be the second choice), same for many average women who would have been considered "wife material".

MasterTeacher123 · 2020-09-08T21:19:58+00:00

Women turn down the vast majority of men who try to sleep with them though. Let’s say a woman over the course of her 80 years on this planet sleeps with 10 guys. She’s turned down hundreds between in person approaches and Online messages, either apps or things like IG/Snap/Facebook.

So the success rate is like less than 10%. Even the “sluts” are turning down like 85% of the guys who try.

lacyvulture · 2020-09-08T21:17:43+00:00

No. That’s crazy. I have a very low amount of partners because I am picky. Most women I know have a low amount of partners. Far less than 20. I have been on dates with men that have said they have a N count with over a hundred and I couldn’t be with them bc of it. I think it is projecting. Either bc they don’t get laid or bc they just hate women. Perhaps they go thru women so quickly they feel better if they call them sluts to dehumanize them, makes them feel better about using and discarding them. I don’t know any girl that was with 20 guys before she was done with high school, just one and they were long term bf/gf. Yes there are some women that are very promiscuous and have hundreds of men in their lives but I have never known one, it is not a common thing.

TheBookOfSeil · 2020-09-08T22:07:37+00:00

Which makes me ask, in good faith, no shaming, are women (especially younger ones) actually having that much sex, or is it something men tell themselves then they want to make a woman seem like more of a "slut"?

It really depends on the person, but a lot of younger people are engaging in casual dating these days, which causes these concerns or skepticism about how much sex people are having. Guys might see or hear about young women being loose and sleeping with guys at parties and then think that they and a lot of other women are doing that constantly, while it's likely that a minority of women are sleeping with men like this year is the end of the world.

It's uncertain as to whether, if asked, women would divulge their actual numbers anyway because anyone is capable of lying, downplaying or writing off some people to lower their numbers, if at least to make themselves feel better about it.

"Oh, rebounds don't count."

"All of the guys that I slept with before I turned _____ don't count."

"I never climaxed so it doesn't count."

"I became a born-again virgin 5 years ago."

Anybody that goes asking just has to take the other person's word as the truth because unless they were there, it's impossible to know.

Guys that are more secure and more concerned about their happiness in a relationship and their compatibility with their partner won't care how much sex a woman has had as long as it doesn't start to become a problem for them (risk of cheating rises with higher n-count).

upalse · 2020-09-09T16:38:40+00:00

actually having that much sex

No, just that many past partners. High n isn't necessarily indicator of promiscuity, usually it's one of unstable attachment style. New boyfriend every 6-24 months still racks up N compared to average guy who had 3 relationships at most, and maybe one or two flings by 30, while women float somewhere at the double of that.

trueorfalsedmitry · 2020-09-08T21:53:02+00:00

These n-count estimates and claims are always relative to the people involved. People with high sociosexuality are gonna have higher n-counts, both men and women. People with lower sociosexuality will have lower n-counts.

I have some observations of n-counts through my life (I am also quite old and was married for many years.). These include knowing my own body count, knowing the body count of the women I have been in LTRs with (some of these I know to high precision, some I only know a lower bound), and knowing the n-counts of very close friends, either through literally knowing them all my post-kindergarten life, or by having talks with them. All of those observations share a single common trait. In every case where you can match up two people (e.g. they're in or have been in an LTR with each other, or somebody might consider fixing them up), the woman's n-count will be roughly 2x the male's. Every single time.

Women fuck more than their male counterparts.

wtknight · 2020-09-08T22:41:36+00:00

Manosphere men just project the high N count women that they know of or have heard of to all women. There are plenty of women having lots of casual sex, but there are also plenty of women who have only had LTR relationship sex and have a very low N. Pessimistic men like to assume the worst of all women, though.

The median woman, though, has probably had a small number of casual sex encounters, a small number of FWBs and a small number of relationships which adds up to the high-single digit number that one reads about as being the typical female N count for this generation of young women.

DangZagnut · 2020-09-08T22:03:02+00:00

Men who care about n-counts are trad-cucks and political right wingers that pretend to give a shit. They're either political shills or they're religious nutmegs.

The rest of the guys don't care, because who gives a fuck? Guys want to feel special and that he's just not another notch. Mainly guys who don't fuck a lot.

A woman's n-count is meaningless except in nonsense surveys the religious lickers think is science.

xFallacyx69 · 2020-09-08T21:18:17+00:00

Why don't you look up what people self-report? Random redditors answering here isn't going to give you a real idea if your question is to figure out what the average woman's count is.

But anyway:

35/f and 23

I thought they were all gonna be my bf bc before FDS I was delusional/sheltered and thought men were nice and honest lmao.

Anthony-waltzs · 2020-09-08T22:04:36+00:00

Yes they are having a lot of sex, a lot IRL. On the internet women will try to down play it and act like their celibate nuns. It’s just you need to understand women are mainly having sex with the top most good looking men, with birth control and hook up culture that makes it easy for a lot of women to have casual sex which is called the cock carousel. So that should explain why their number is very high. And no it’s not men projecting, it’s a collective of experiences and stories that men have it’s just women don’t like to acknowledge it’s real.

TheFakestMoFo · 2020-09-08T21:22:56+00:00

I think while women are openly having more sex, the average is nowhere near that high. I work with almost all women in our 20s and early 30s, and while dating apps and hooking up is definitely popular among the single women, most of them are meeting with the same men more than once as casual relationships or situations they maybe hope will develop into more than that. But the majority are actually in long term relationships, engaged, married, or seeking that type of relationship. These are all professional young women so that may skew my view compared to the college crowd for example, but even the most promiscuous people I've known have come nowhere near "hundreds" of partners!

Workaholiconew · 2020-09-09T00:16:08+00:00

are women (especially younger ones) actually having that much sex, or is it something men tell themselves then they want to make a woman seem like more of a "slut"?

There probably was a increase from when you were still in the market. But not as much as some say.

Way too many 'anger phase' men are saying women are in the triple digits on average. Which is just false. But again, believing in polls where women say they have less sexual partners than they had romantic partners is just as absurd. I am of the opinion that the average n count is around 10-30 in the west. With only 1-2% of women going into the hundreds.

Men are in fact having less sex, both in quantity and in number of partners. Example, 29% of young men, were completely sexless last year (compared to 18% of women) but the few who are having sex, are actually having a lot more, so much that the mean just decreased by a slight amount.

The correct interpretation is that the sexual market is becoming more inequal, particularly for men. Those who previously got sex, are getting even more, and those who had few experiences are having even less. A similar but smaller effect happens to women.

BROWN-TOILET-PAPER · 2020-09-09T01:09:33+00:00

They are using a few chicks they've known as examples, plus projecting what they would do if they were as attractive as the women they desire, which in their mind, the woman MUST be having sex with endless men, because that's what they would do, as a man, but can't.

c_dolly · 2020-09-09T05:17:46+00:00

Most people I know are under an n-count of 25.

N-count was never something I discussed with anyone but I recently "counted" my girl friends n-count from what I knew of them, they're all under 15-20. Maybe 25 for one. The lowest n-count I know is my best friend (2) who married his college girlfriend.

I know one person who could possibly have an n-count in the triple digits and it's a man. I don't know how someone has the time, energy, to sleep with 100 people.

I don't think there are enough triple digits women going around for them to be the only women manospherians encounter, so there must be either some selection or confirmation bias or some intense projection happening.

Prismatic_Symphony · 2020-09-09T07:00:00+00:00

Probably both. Women are getting more "liberated" and trying to take the sting out of the word 'slut.' And at the same time, men who are resentful/jealous can over-exaggerate.

It is certainly easier for any random woman to rack up huge numbers than it is for any random man - if she wants to. But probably in both genders it's a minority of people who have sex like rabbits, attaining those numbers.

SteveSan82 · 2020-09-09T09:25:45+00:00

Women generally lie about the number to not sound like a slut. I’ve had women lie that they are virgins

Skadi793 · 2020-09-09T14:16:16+00:00

I am in my 40s, and I've known a lot of women over the years. For many of them, I know quite a bit about their sexual histories as well, including N counts.

So I did a little exercise and record their names and numbers. There were a couple extreme cases (one chick had at least 30 partners, another had only 1), but out of the 12 women I could record, the average N count was 11.

Now that is what I *knew* about. The number is likely higher.

I was reading some studies and surveys this morning, and they showed that younger women (under 25) had a lot more one-night-stands (46% of them had at least one), a much higher incidence of STDs (like triple that of older women), and higher average sex-partners per-year.

Now keep in mind that most of these studies were in the UK. The US numbers are a bit lower. I have no idea what it looks like in other countries.

Now for me, the fact that almost 50% of young women these days are having one-night-stands is a huge problem. I am not down with that at all, and thankful that I am married.

(my wife may have had some back in the day--I have no idea, and I doubt I would get an honest answer on that)

And here is the other big issue: couples are NOT using condoms these days. When I was a teenager, HIV was still a big issue, and we worried about knocking up our girlfriends. Me and my guy friends always used condoms.

Then I find out that by the time the 90s rolled around, chicks were using diaphrams and the pill, and ditching the condoms. I have female friends who have HPV as a result, and a couple of them got knocked up. My wife admitted not using them when she was younger, and I was like "well that was fu**ing stupid".

So today's women have higher N counts, more ONS, and higher instances of STDs.

Not a good situation

hnug2 · 2020-09-08T22:28:44+00:00

[deleted]

Mimoxs · 2020-09-08T21:54:14+00:00

It could be both I guess

I have only ever known 1 girl in my life who genuinely was really sleeping around with lots of dudes, she was about n-12 and at the time was in her second year of college. The overwhelming majority of girls I know are somewhere between n-0 to n-4. So while some girls really are, most aren't.

I guess it happens bc of insecurity (they assume girls are lying), general misogyny, or they've just been really deeply indoctrinated.

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gronk4198 · 2020-09-08T22:48:29+00:00

If you live in a big metro then yeah the numbers will be surprisingly high, but on average probably what most are saying 30+ for avg girls over their lifetime. The numbers are crazy high between the teens and late 20s then tails off and picks up again later on - this is from my personal observations but most likely also selection bias as I live in a big metro and don't date conservative church girls!

pork_tato · 2020-09-09T01:53:16+00:00

I feel like n count depends much on the temperament of the person. Back when I did meetups for gaming (mostly college students) I found that there are people, both men and women, who will fuck everything under the sun and have a few hookups a week... which definitely put them into the zone of hundreds. On the other side there are men and women who don't screw until they're seriously dating someone, they might as well have 1 every few years. Then you have everyone who's in between- tends to hook up with people they know then ass an relationship out of it, maybe 3-4 a year?

The main difference is with the distribution. Women largely fell within that mid range, with not many at the ends. The majority of men fell into the end of "no fucking until seriously dating" with a few at the range of "fuck everything" and then a large minority portion in the middle.

WilliamWyattD · 2020-09-09T09:05:56+00:00

If you look at across the country stats, there still hasn't been a massive increase in N count for men or women.

However, among a certain class of people--particularly those more likely to be on Reddit--there has been a massive rise. And this may be the beginning of a trend that will affect the nation more widely. Or it may not.

rosmaskinen · 2020-09-09T10:34:40+00:00

Some people have really fallen down a rabbit hole and have an agressive panic reaction as soon as a woman's sexual partners is mentioned.

2020-09-09T12:46:39+00:00

Men are brainwashed and ruined by online porn culture. Reddit is predominantly a porn site visited by socially inept, male porn addicts.

I’m one of many single women who is in her late 20s/early 30s and has an extremely low n count. We also dislike promiscuous men.

Yes, there are women who sleep around a lot, but it’s not the vast majority.

The more men whore around and worship porn, the more women will allow themselves at least a slutty phase.

mistresswhat · 2020-09-10T00:20:12+00:00

My number is astronomical, and even my slutty friends have mostly slept with less people than me. I've had a ton of casual sex but nothing like what I've seen claimed here as "average."

Lmao @ the way they talk about group sex, especially. As someone who likes group se and has had a lot of it, I don't think they understand what a logistical nightmare that can be to arrange.

_Neon_Shadow_ · 2020-09-10T16:25:18+00:00

Which makes me ask, in good faith, no shaming, are women (especially younger ones) actually having that much sex, or is it something men tell themselves then they want to make a woman seem like more of a "slut"?

The girls I grew up with were having sex in middle school. By high school a lot of them were known for fucking your entire friend group. So by high school, a lot of girls had a 10+ body count. College was worse because being a slut (no slut shaming!) had become normalized. Plus OLD was taking off. So yes... women are having A LOT of sex. Nowadays sex work is becoming normalized. As a man, I just expect every woman I meet to be ran through.

Side Note: I used to use Tinder a lot. But not anymore because its cancer and I'm in a relationship. But contrary to what the women here say -- young women were THE MOST AGGRESSIVE when they matched with me. They made it abundantly clear they just wanted their guts rearranged and maybe some tacos.

A different thread that said 'never believe' a woman and her ncount because they all lie, and all women have had dozens if not hundreds of partners. And that they have slept with "at least 20 guys" byt the time she gets out of high school.

Women lie about their n-count all the time, which is why we say don't trust them. If I had a nickel for every woman I've met who lied about her body count, I'd be a millionaire. Sssooo many women "don't count" having sex for stupid reasons:

"Oh, I was drunk and it was a one night stand, so it doesn't count."

"We only had anal sex so it doesn't count."

"We weren't in a relationship so it doesn't count."

"I only gave oral sex so it doesn't count."

And on, and on, and on.... A wise man once said: don't trust these hoes.

So, folks out there in the dating world, is sex really happening as much as some men online are claiming?

Yes.

Duckduckfu just tells me young people are having less sex, not more.

True. Can you blame them? Look at the state of the world.

Grave_Heresy · 2020-09-11T01:32:45+00:00

Are you kidding me? Of course women are having "that much sex"

At a minimum a 30 year old woman has an n-count of 100, AT A MINIMUM!

If she has gone to college, then the number is closer to 150.

What people don't seem to realize is that this is an easy feat for women as they are having multiple partners in a single day. Sometimes this is at the same time.

They are having trains run on them and getting gangbanged by sports teams. If she is from the hood then the local Crip (or Bloods) chapter has run a train on her...Multiple times.

Now you may be wondering about the religious females who seem to be virginal with their purity rings. Many of the "good girls" who say that they are saving themselves for marriage claim that they are virgins because they don't have penile-vaginal intercourse. However, they have ALL performed oral sex, given hand jobs and done anal.

Finally, after getting into a relationship or married, about 30%-50% of women continue to sleep with other men so marriage doesn't stop the n-count from growing.

This is why something like 70% of divorces are filed by women. Think about it, if someone has had 15 to 30 years of sex with the best and the brightest men on the market it's going to be very difficult to be satisfied with some average Joe just because he helps pay the bills and gives you foot rubs.

red_matrix · 2020-09-12T18:02:11+00:00

Women age 18-30 are having more sex than men of the same age:

For most of the past three decades, 20-something men and women reported similar rates of sexlessness. But that has changed in recent years. Since 2008, the share of men younger than 30 reporting no sex has nearly tripled, to 28 percent. That’s a much steeper increase than the 8 percentage point increase reported among their female peers.

https://www.washingtonpost.com/business/2019/03/29/share-americans-not-having-sex-has-reached-record-high/

jackandjill22 · 2020-09-14T12:47:21+00:00

They are. It's literally inexplicable how much things have changed old timer.

xFallacyx69 · 2020-09-08T21:23:53+00:00

Nah man... only girls I know with actual high body counts are the ones you don’t want

astrobrah · 2020-09-09T00:49:42+00:00

Blackpilled men pretend modern women on average fuck 20+ guys by age 25. this is false. BUT, promiscuity is rising, the average sex partners a generation ago was 8 for lifetime. Now it's almost certainly higher.

nik6979 · 2020-09-09T05:00:13+00:00

When you look closer you'll see the RP encourages young dudes to excel not settle , then so the old dudes can still get the young girls. Its kinda creepy in some aspects . These older men are getting angry cause the younger generations don't cling to them or see them as the potentials like generations ago cause Young girls are no longer wanting to have babies right out of school . They'd rather be financially independent . There are so many aspects that are creepy about RP O_o

irllylike-spiders · 2020-09-09T04:47:43+00:00

20f and N-count of 10

fiancé(e?) is a 29 yr old divorcee with an N-count of (i’m assuming??) 25-30. (could just be hyping himself up who knows)

Title	N-counts?
Author	janearcade
Upvotes	32
Comments	204
Date	September 8, 2020 9:08 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/ip28l0/ncounts/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/n-counts.279173 https://theredarchive.com/post/279173

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