Porn is cheating

Electra_Cute · 2019-01-31T17:31:51+00:00

Whether or not it is cheating can be argued(not sure what your argument is), but there is almost no way to say it is the same as physically cheating on someone.

wekacuck · 2019-01-31T17:31:32+00:00

Is non-porn masturbation also cheating?

Barely-moral · 2019-01-31T17:28:46+00:00

If not looking at porn was something that was talked about and there was an agreement on that... then sure...

rizenphoenix13 · 2019-01-31T18:39:49+00:00

It depends on whether you're being deceptive about it to your partner or not. If your partner doesn't care, it's not cheating.

SelectAirline · 2019-01-31T17:48:03+00:00

Where do you draw the line? Does it need to be full on porn, or is the softcore Cinemax stuff just as bad? Is reading erotica and masturbating also cheating? What about thinking about a past hookup while masturbating? How about an attractive person that you don't have history with?

I'm trying to figure out what it is about porn specifically that makes it so that an activity you practice on your own is somehow cheating.

LobsterOmelette · 2019-01-31T17:28:08+00:00

I'd rather my husband watch porn than physically (and emotionally-in-person) cheat on me.

yasee · 2019-01-31T17:42:50+00:00

cheating isn't some objectively defined thing, it's boundaries that get negotiated within individual couples (though obviously there will be a lot of overlap). if your partner doesn't care if you watch porn, it's not cheating

whichbladeN · 2019-01-31T17:25:29+00:00

Yeah, but we are all just trying to live our life here, so you'd be hard pressed to find a partner who was perfect and didn't watch porn. If there's one situation where sex literally means nothing, it's in the case of porn.

Mr_Smoogs · 2019-01-31T17:41:30+00:00

Is it due to the physical image itself? I can close my eyes and fantasize about past experiences or imagine a naked woman and it is conceptually the same as looking at an image.

So it would seem that to your standard, masturbating in any context without imagining your partner would be "cheating." Also, some porn is narrative driven, not visually driven. Is a woman who gets off reading erotica "cheating?"

PennnyLame · 2019-01-31T18:24:01+00:00

But according to you, of something is not accompanied by sex, it’s non-sexual. https://www.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/alfifx/passionately_kissing_sex_when_it_comes_to/efdm59q/

How does this align? The man in question isn’t having sex with the woman- therefore it’s non-sexual.

v3r1 · 2019-01-31T18:37:32+00:00

This makes no sense. Per the definition of the word it isn't. Cheating is simple, you have an agreement with someone and you break it. Saying that watching porn is cheating is dumb the reason why is, if the woman/men you are with doesn't mind you being with other people then not even fucking someone else is cheating.

It's subjective to everyone and every different relationship.

Anyone who agrees with this is so insecure they are not ready for a relationship in the first place.

This much taboo with sex comes from religion and it's time we put it past us. Sexuality is complicated and can't be judged with a black and white view of the world.

Drippyskippy · 2019-01-31T20:46:06+00:00

So if that is cheating I assume reading romance novels and fantasizing about the men in those novels is cheating as well? Just testing your congnative dissonance.

blackedoutfast · 2019-01-31T21:06:22+00:00

if a man has a wet dream, does that mean he was sexually assaulted by his subconscious?

blackedoutfast · 2019-01-31T21:07:18+00:00

if an incel jerks off to porn, does that mean he lost his virginity?

peterlongc · 2019-01-31T17:48:27+00:00

"ultimately faithful".. yeah you're right. but a lot of people (vast majority) have to settle for a lot lower degrees of faithfulness, if they can manage to secure any at all. only a saint deserves a saint.

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hshsvdhsiabs · 2019-01-31T18:55:55+00:00

Cheating is defined differently to other people. My boyfriend knows I don’t care if he looks at porn, so he’s not cheating when he does. However in other relationships it might be established that that’s not okay. But in my opinion, we can’t help our minds. We all are attracted to multiple people, not just our partners. It’s doesn’t matter what you think about as long as you care enough to control those urges. I don’t see the point in policing what my boyfriend looks at online so long as I’m the only girl he is intimate with. And I don’t worry much about being compared to porn stars because I have an emotional connection to him that he doesn’t have with them.

Sodium100mg · 2019-01-31T20:06:48+00:00

"I've looked on a lot of women with lust. I've committed adultery in my heart many times." ~ Jimmy Carter

By this standard, porn has little to do with it. If married man masturbates or even looks at a woman with lust in his eyes, he has cheated. Porn is probably better to think about porn, than thinking of your wife's sister, the girl at work or a neighbor.

i_have_a_semicolon · 2019-02-01T00:01:49+00:00

Not if you define faithfulness by ones ability to remain committed to you as an individual, not as masturbation fodder.

donttoleratebullshit · 2019-02-01T02:21:14+00:00

I kinda agree, it’s up to you to set. I think in a perfect world I might agree, true love, soul mates etc.

So much of what society designates as acceptable is half baked logically

lbspredh · 2019-02-01T07:07:37+00:00

cheating requires dishonesty, if you are open about the fact you intend to bang everyone you want during the relationship it's not cheating, so similar for looking at naughty videos on the interwebs it would only be cheating if you lied about it.

[deleted] · 2019-02-01T14:20:37+00:00

Surprised to see this, I agree with you on almost everything. I'd go as far as to say real porn is cheating, but literature and anything drawn shouldn't be. Pretty hard line here...

rxbDJ · 2019-02-02T03:11:44+00:00

Hmm. Idk, when I cheated I felt way worse than when watching porn and I'm not tryna defend porn I hate the shit it just teases me

Freethetreees · 2019-02-02T05:05:27+00:00

Socially accepted cheating that women are forced to comply with and pretend to be ok with. But it’s not going anywhere.

oftheinfinite · 2019-01-31T17:47:43+00:00

Most women masturbate to imaginations of themselves having sex with other women or a small number of men. Why would it be worse because a man watches porn? Porn is an aid to the imagination. Masturbating to porn is way better and more enjoyable than without.

oftheinfinite · 2019-01-31T17:27:18+00:00

Maybe. But one thing is for sure, a woman that doesn't accept my porn usage is not a woman I want to be with.

PMmeareasontolive · 2019-01-31T17:48:33+00:00

I disagree because you are not interacting with the person depicted in the porn, emotionally or physically or in any way. It really is only a fantasy illustrated.

Given that, erotic art (including romance novels) would also be cheating.

whatyoucallaflip · 2019-01-31T17:55:17+00:00

For comparison's sake, is grind dancing with someone other than your SO (and, accordingly, rubbing naughty parts together, in real life, with a real person) more cheaty or less cheaty?

Tedesche · 2019-01-31T18:00:33+00:00

By this logic, imagining a real person and masturbating to that mental image is cheating.

I think your definition of cheating here is a bit ridiculous.

PuleaSpataru69 · 2019-01-31T18:33:30+00:00

I watch POV amateur porn. So there's no face of body. Just a dick in a pussy. Is that cheating?

BadgerwithaPickaxe · 2019-01-31T18:52:22+00:00

What if your partner knows you watch/have watched porn and they also do it themselves?

LowCreddit · 2019-01-31T18:58:52+00:00

No, making your husband beg for sex for so long that he makes Excel sheets detailing his (lack of) sex life while you bang your personal trainer is cheating. Starting another family in a another state/country causing your wife to distrust all men and teach that to her daughters is cheating. I am not a fan of porn, but there is a difference here.

KikiYuyu · 2019-01-31T19:06:24+00:00

This is straight up thought crime stuff

ilovemywife100 · 2019-01-31T19:32:12+00:00

It’s something worth discussing with your partner for sure, you never want to assume they’re ok with something and find out the hard way. I don’t know if it’s on the same level as physically cheating but it’s definitely something that people set boundaries with for good reason.

woolleybear · 2019-01-31T19:42:35+00:00

What about hentai? Seriously.

MyrganGyrgan · 2019-01-31T20:39:15+00:00

People have urges and sometimes their partners aren't always willing or able to fulfill them. Unless you're either constantly open to sex or otherwise open to getting your husband off with either your hand or by providing pornographic images of yourself to his exact specifications, you're going to have to accept reality and suck it up.

diffdedbed · 2019-01-31T21:14:46+00:00

I can't change your view on porn and cheating because cheating is 100% defined by the relationship rules set up.

For example its not cheating in my relationship to have sex with other women as long as my wife is ok with it. Porn is definitely not cheating, hell we've made it. This would be 100% not OK in most relationships and would be cheating.

So porn is cheating to you, its not to me. Porn isn't the real issue though its just the rule set. A relationship could be set where cheating is you took off your burka where a man saw you without it. That would be cheating in that relationship even if it seems stupid to others.

meomeowmeoww · 2019-01-31T21:27:57+00:00

Its not cheating. its cuckoldry.

hurupu · 2019-01-31T22:42:13+00:00

I have no one to cheat on so it's not either way.

wobbleelbbow · 2019-01-31T23:33:54+00:00

Does imagination count as cheating too in your book?

-OpportunityCost · 2019-02-01T00:02:14+00:00

lol it's really just an opinion so I can't change your mind. But you better be a very high value person if this is going to be a big deal for you.

ALFOND · 2019-01-31T18:03:34+00:00

Nope, not cheating! Fantasies are not cheating

Cheating is only when you touch another person's skin.

EmpoweredGirl · 2019-01-31T18:23:40+00:00

Maybe if you're ultra religious, however if you are pragmatic about it, no not really. This wishy washyness doesn't jive well with me, what makes love and relationships work is the active choice to maintain them. Things such as above shouldn't call someones dedication into question.

poopidydoopscoop · 2019-01-31T19:48:16+00:00

That's a bold statement. Why do you feel that way?

There is no chance of reproduction, physical contact, or STDs. It's purely imaginatory. A personal release to subdue the natural urge to spread seed. You should be encouraging it in your partner if they are attractive enough to have options and/or don't want to be a controlling C yourself.

Unless you truly are with a beta male who will disobey his own natural urges in order to not upset you with something that doesn't matter. Chances are he probably just does it and lies in that case.

Ordinate1 · 2019-01-31T20:49:58+00:00

Ultimately, fidelity is about expectations, and expecting a man to never look at porn... well, good luck with that.

mrp_awakening · 2019-01-31T21:13:03+00:00

Does jacking off to porn make you not a virgin?

Is a woman who constantly rejects her husband's sexual advances cheating him?

A man has a biological need to get off, and if that need ain't being met, he's perfectly justified looking at porn to do it. If his wife doesn't like that scenario, she should be willing to do the job herself.

ScootsScoots · 2019-01-31T21:59:41+00:00

Considering there really isn't a good definition for porn in the first place; nope.

But go ahead, break up with someone because they jacked it to a video. See where your life goes with that level of insecurity.

Porn is cheating

Comments

YOUR ARGUMENT IS MUTE

Title	Porn is cheating
Author	hammerhaunts
Upvotes	0
Comments	395
Date	January 31, 2019 5:23 PM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/alrsrq/porn_is_cheating/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/porn-is-cheating.257524 https://theredarchive.com/post/257524