Should extramarital affairs be destigmatised?

KayRay1994 · 2024-02-15T14:19:13+00:00

If both partners agree that it’s okay to sleep with others and are fine with it, then it is no longer an affair.

Open relationships have a history of not working out, mostly cause one partner feels pressured to it when it isn’t what they want. If both partners truly want it and nobody is pressured to it, I see no issues

But it sounds like you’re saying “if someone cheats, get over it” and to that I say, no.

TheGreatBeefSupreme · 2024-02-15T14:33:19+00:00

I’m going to go with

N O

Few-Laugh-6508 · 2024-02-15T14:36:02+00:00

Then don't enter on monogamous relationship. See, problem solved.

Feisty-Saturn · 2024-02-15T15:51:42+00:00

Affairs are not the majority. Cheating in both men and women in heterosexual relationships is less than 30 percent.

Open relationships are already destigmatized. If people don’t want monogamy, they don’t have to choose that.

Safinated · 2024-02-15T16:11:06+00:00

They already are. They’re called swinging, open marriage/relationships, nonmonogamy and polyamory

Acaciduh · 2024-02-15T14:06:19+00:00

toasterchild · 2024-02-15T14:32:28+00:00

Why do you get to determine that the hurt partners are overreacting? There are lots of poly people out there, if you are into that go find one?

januaryphilosopher · 2024-02-15T15:05:08+00:00

No. It's never going to be okay to betray someone, if you want to sleep with others without guilt should ask for an open marriage not go behind their back. Equally it's not okay to sleep with certain people if this goes against a promise they made and will cause great pain, yes even if you think they're hot. It is good and fine that we judge people negatively for hurting others and betraying their trust.

GoldenHornyChicken · 2024-02-15T16:42:10+00:00

"In France, affairs are considered a private matter."

What do you mean ? You think it's considered somehow ok or acceptable in a relationship ?

Dry_Personality7194 · 2024-02-15T14:10:41+00:00

Is your solution for single men not getting anything that we should destroy the marriage for another man thus creating more single men?

Tbh affairs should almost be criminalized.

fiftypoundpuppy · 2024-02-15T16:55:17+00:00

In France, affairs are considered a private matter. Maybe we should just accept affairs are apart of modern relationships considering how common it is instead of living in a make believe world of forever monogamy? And that it isn't the end of a relationship, but just an inevitable bump on the road? With all this tech and social media, having an affair is easier than it has ever been and its only going to get worse. It's far more better to destigmatise affairs, than overeact and breakup the family that will lead to poverty because of a shallow fling that more than half of all people will have but will keep secret.

I'm curious if this also applies to women having affairs and getting pregnant with another man's child.

The man shouldn't consider this a big deal. Correct?

John_Oakman · 2024-02-15T14:59:02+00:00

Most people in the US are overweight (with a minority to plurality of the population being obese), should unhealthy body weight (and all the health problems associated with it) be accepted simply because it's going to happen regardless?

The problems with that line of reasoning is that it is not inevitable and it is not a good thing.

harmonica2 · 2024-02-15T16:54:27+00:00

I say absolutely not. Cheating needs to be stigmatized because if it was not then no one would get married and relationships wouldn't be special and families and children would not prosper, etc.

People couldn't trust each other if there was no stigma.

Shoddy-Cherry-490 · 2024-02-15T16:10:23+00:00

It’s worth noting that extramarital affairs are particularly stigmatized in the US, a legacy of American‘s puritanical ways that is evident in the responses to this thread.

In Europe, for example, extramarital transgression at least seem to be talked about more openly and in places like southern Europe and other parts of the world, there is almost a tacit acceptance that men will eventually sway from their marital vows.

For example I recall the opinion that an extramarital make-out session really wasn’t such a big deal, an opinion I heard often in some parts of Europe but that’d seems somewhat unimaginable on this side of the Atlantic. Likewise, I have noticed that many European societies don’t demonize their political leaders or celebrities nearly with as much fervor as they do here (or in the UK for that matter) over these types of affairs.

Finally, it seems that with progressivism, wokeism and the metoo movement, America has somehow become even more puritanical.

This is a long way of saying, yes I think extramarital affairs can and probably should be destigmatized, but we should probably also reframe expectations for coupling and marriage, which are still incredibly unrealistic and archaic!

MistyMaisel · 2024-02-15T20:03:08+00:00

No.

Unless you didn't know they were married, you're a bad person to be sleeping with a married person. It's vile. Don't do it. I don't care if you're struggling to date, don't fuck people who are taken.

shockingly_bored · 2024-02-15T14:21:00+00:00

What will happen is that they'll sleep with the men the desire, not the men they don't.

Nothing will change mate.

PerfumedPornoVampire · 2024-02-15T14:32:56+00:00

As long as marriage exists as a legal construct then affairs will always be stigmatized. It’s essentially someone reneging on their contract.

I think on a personal level most people do understand and accept that affairs happen, and don’t care about what happens to other people, but of course no one wants it to happen to them. You just want your partner to breach your contract? Of course not! At the end of the day, it’s up to the individual if they want to accept their partner’s affair or not, and if they want to leave their partner over it I do think that’s completely within their rights.

Pajama_Strangler · 2024-02-15T14:50:45+00:00

Nope

Numerous1 · 2024-02-15T16:18:43+00:00

No.

GlobeUnited · 2024-02-15T16:42:10+00:00

Affairs are stigmatised for some pretty good reasons -- diseases, pregnancies, paternity issues, jealousy leading to violence and social discord, sexual harrasment in the workplace, etc. That said, it might also be the case that the stigma around affairs causes more harm than the affairs themselves, it's hard to say.

MiddleZealousideal89 · 2024-02-15T17:26:10+00:00

If both partners are okay with one or both people seeing other people on the side, go off. If one partner wants that but the other doesn't, those people aren't compatible and should probably look for the type of relationship they want elsewhere. But let's say those people decide to date after all. If you've agreed to a poly relationship, you can't bitch and moan about it being poly, and you shouldn't try to guilt your partner into not seeing other people. If you've agreed to a monogamous relationship, you can't bitch and moan about not being able to sleep around, and you shouldn't try to guilt your partner into letting you see other people. If the relationship dynamic doesn't work for you, leave, but don't try to twist the other person's arm into giving you what you want.

It's far more better to destigmatise affairs, than overeact and breakup the family that will lead to poverty because of a shallow fling that more than half of all people will have but will keep secret.

If it was so shallow and meaningless, they could have simply not done it if they knew there's a chance that they'll break their family up. And they are the ones breaking up the family, the other person is reacting to their betrayal. This is like when some dudes complain about women leaving them after they finally get tired of being a maid, and whine about how sad it is that those bitches left over something so small and insignificant as chores. If they were so small and insignificant, you could have gotten off your asses and done them then. ''It's not a big deal'' is the go-to excuse for someone who thinks their actions should be excused regardless of how they affected others but we all know damn well they'd lose their shit if the roles were reversed.

MisterFunnyShoes · 2024-02-15T18:59:20+00:00

Why does everything have to be a movement now? If people want to be pieces of garbage, they are free to do so. Everyone else is free to judge them accordingly.

SupposedlySapiens · 2024-02-15T19:04:26+00:00

Commitment used to mean something. Loyalty used to mean something. People used to swear solemn oaths over the graves of their ancestors.

Fuck this modern BS where everyone is encouraged to be a selfish narcissist whose only goal in life is the pursuit of short-term pleasure. Fuck that. We need more stigmatization, not less. We need more consequences for disloyalty, not less.

wtknight · 2024-02-15T21:31:20+00:00

No. Cheating shouldn’t be destigmatized. Consensual polyamory should be, even if most people choose not to participate in it.

ICU8a8 · 2024-02-15T22:58:55+00:00

HELL no.

Let’s bring shame back into the world. It’s been missing for far too long

We_Are_From_Stars · 2024-02-16T01:50:41+00:00

In France, affairs are considered a private matter. Maybe we should just accept affairs are apart of modern relationships considering how common it is instead of living in a make believe world of forever monogamy? And that it isn't the end of a relationship, but just an inevitable bump on the road? With all this tech and social media, having an affair is easier than it has ever been and its only going to get worse. It's far more better to destigmatise affairs, than overeact and breakup the family that will lead to poverty because of a shallow fling that more than half of all people will have but will keep secret.

Stop. What we should do instead is make marital infidelity apart of a fault divorce regime. Whoever commits infidelity loses a higher property assets in a divorce. Easy.

Tokimonatakanimekat · 2024-02-15T16:34:05+00:00

No, and you should report any woman who approaches you this way to her husband for a beating.

Academic-Map3827 · 2024-02-15T14:28:43+00:00

No. What would be the upside of it? Look how divorce has become de-stigmatized and lead to so many children growing up messed up from that broken home.

apresonly · 2024-02-15T20:19:01+00:00

if it was destigmatized commitment would be meaningless

its also like a known philosophical impossibility for a culture to not value truth telling since no one in that culture would be able to do anything as there is no assumption that what people are saying is true. we all agree to value truth telling so that we can survive as a community. its the same reason we all agree to not murder each other so that we dont have to constantly watch our back 24/7.

soontobesolo · 2024-02-15T14:54:04+00:00

Absolutely. Extramarital sex should be much more normalized and less stigmatized. Especially in cases where one of the partners is unwilling to meet the sexual needs of the other. They can't demand strict monogamy while also not putting out enthusiastically. It's just cruel.

XXXblackrabbit · 2024-02-15T20:29:57+00:00

Cheating is normal in 2024, the moral grandstanding on Internet forums doesn’t really capture the “true normal” of the real world. I say just go with the flow

wardenferry419 · 2024-02-16T00:01:20+00:00

The only stigma that exists is on cheating husbands; none exists for cheating wives. Society blames the husbands of cheating wives for not providing what was needed.

TheRedPillRipper · 2024-02-15T19:51:34+00:00

affairs are considered a private matter.

One thing I learned from my father, is Discretion is paramount. Thus the destigmatisation is irrelevant. For example I used to socialise with a ton of pro athletes. It’s very common when teams travel, that what happens on tour, stays on tour. All the wives, and girlfriends aren’t stupid. They presumably just don’t make a big deal about it. They use their discretion.

Godspeed and good luck!

FromAuntToNiece · 2024-02-15T18:27:02+00:00

I have argued that late bloomer men are entitled to have sex outside of committed relationships while within committed relationships, up to and including extramarital sex. Unironically.

While I'm uncomfortable with cheating (i.e., outright adultery / infidelity), I am of the opinion that late bloomer men are definitely entitled to bully their SOs into accepting one-sided "ethical non-monogamy" arrangements, especially those that are short of open relationships. Unironically.

Such bullying should definitely be destigmatized!

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Celebrate_the_Fact · 2024-02-15T14:45:41+00:00

Sure but ya know you can only go so MGTOW.

DumbWordsmith · 2024-02-15T15:28:22+00:00

Do I think we should all accept extramarital affairs? No. I wouldn't be able to stand looking into the eyes of a person I can't trust, so I'd just GTFO in that situation.

That said, modern marriage is already a joke IMO, so if you're gullible enough to get married, I don't care what you choose to do.

Mr_Chad_Thunderpenis · 2024-02-16T08:00:00+00:00

Fastest way to kill committed relationships and marriage. But to be honest, those are already going downhill anyways, so a swift death to those institutons might do more good than harm.

chillywilly3142 · 2024-02-16T16:34:43+00:00

Lying and betraying is wrong and should not be tolerated just because sex is hot and cheating is common

throwingawaynextweek · 2024-02-17T04:25:10+00:00

You “people” are a fucking disgrace

Title	Should extramarital affairs be destigmatised?
Author	PiastriPs3
Upvotes	0
Comments	108
Date	February 15, 2024 1:59 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1arg17d/should_extramarital_affairs_be_destigmatised/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/should-extramarital-affairs-be-destigmatised.1245478 https://theredarchive.com/post/1245478

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