What did this guy do wrong?

ProtoPill · 2015-10-14T16:10:29+00:00

Dude you're a creep.

This is the main signal you never want to hear. This means you are unattractive. You want to hear: "you're a jerk/asshole" (read: "I hate that I love you so much"); you never want to hear the C word.

He needs to boost his SMV because he's clearly unattractive.

SlashCo80 · 2015-10-14T16:53:52+00:00

There's probably something wrong with either his appearance/physical presence, his personality, or his approach. Without knowing him or seeing him in action, it's impossible to tell.

The people telling him he sounds creepy and desperate are idiots. Based on his posts, he was neither.

Archwinger · 2015-10-14T16:28:39+00:00

This guy's not a "creep" because he asked out 1000 women. He's a creep because he asked out 1000 women and failed. A guy who asks out 1000 women and can't get one is the same thing as a slut who fucks 1000 men but none of them want a second date.

The blue-pill opinion is going to be that this guy had some kind of unconscious signal that he was needy/desperate, and that he wasn't specifically interested in any of these women (e.g., they were just objects), hence the large number and the fact that he tracked it. That if he were just normal, he wouldn't have given off the creep-signal.

The red-pill opinion is going to be the more accurate one. This guy is not attractive, whether it's looks, personality, social aptitude. Something specific about him -- not some unconscious signal, but something real -- is not attractive.

nicethingyoucanthave · 2015-10-14T16:50:21+00:00

A dude asked out 1000 girls

My first reaction is that in order to get numbers that high, he's moving too fast and being too direct with each individual girl. It's a calibration issue, in PUA-speak. You have to approach strangers obliquely. If you meet a girl on the street, rather than asking for a "date" (which is going to scare her off because it sounds too formal) say something like, "you're fun to talk to, we should hang out some time."

So first reaction is: calibration error.

He might also be ugly, awkward, or have any number of other handicaps. Pickup is such a subtle art. There are so many things that you have to get just right. You know what the "uncanny valley" is, right? The reason it exists is that we humans are superbly evolved to pick up on the tiniest details - things we aren't even conscious of, and that therefore artists can't address, and yet we feel them.

So it's entirely possible that he's doing something wrong and honestly has no fucking clue what it is. But he's done it wrong 1000 times - and of course, he's failed every time.

No woman is going to tell him what's wrong - and like the uncanny valley thing, they probably can't articulate it anyway. They just feel it. They call it "creepy" - but that doesn't help him.

What might help him is a male friend that would give him an honest assessment. So my best advice to him is to take a break from pickup and cultivate friendships with single males.

Once he gets a male friend that he can go to a bar or club with, he'll learn a lot.

I agree with your assessment of the responses he's getting. Typical, unhelpful platitudes, and baseless shaming. The blue pill is completely bankrupt philosophy.

TheChemist158 · 2015-10-14T18:01:57+00:00

I can't say. I only read the OP, not any of his comments. He isn't doing anything wrong that I can tell from his perspective, but he did mention he was socially awkward. Maybe he hasn't gotten as graceful as he thinks.

GridReXX · 2015-10-14T18:27:07+00:00

I would need to spend some time with him to properly assess his mannerisms, style, looks, etc...

ManRAh · 2015-10-15T00:39:32+00:00

That thread is a perfect example of why TRP exists. Zero constructive advice. Every single one of them jumps straight to "You must be creepy and reek of desperation / women are psychic and know you asked out 999 girls before them."

"Hey man, you miss 100% of the chances you don't take. :)"

TAKES 1000 CHANCES WHILE ATTEMPTING TO BETTER HIMSELF AND IMPROVE HIS ODDS

"Dude... what are you, some kind of creep? Who does that? Here's some advice, 'Stop being a creep.'"

Epicureanist · 2015-10-14T16:52:16+00:00

Can't expect to get sympathy from the animals you trying to hunt. The game is the game. Play or don't play. But if you do play, go hard.

OP's struggling, but all he can do is push harder or give up. Get more fit, dress better, practice speaking more, and approach women.

As a man, you can never expect sympathy. Especially not from women. Only people who would comfort OP who went through similar shit or have analyzed dating and social relations.

super-commenting · 2015-10-14T21:16:44+00:00

He has to be ugly there's no other way it makes sense

terminator3456 · 2015-10-14T21:24:30+00:00

That post is fake as fuck - there is no way someone just remembers 1000 social interactions unless they're Rain Man.

wtknight · 2015-10-14T17:04:57+00:00

I am not sure since there is no video but there was probably something about his approach that was offputting. Either that or he is very physically unattractive in some way and is only asking out only very attractive women.

BaadKitteh · 2015-10-14T18:34:28+00:00

Far more information would be needed to make any kind of valid judgement on the situation. We have no idea how he went about asking people out, who he asked, or a multitude of other details that are essential. On the surface, 1000 rejections sounds like the guy is doing something very off-putting, because statistically speaking that's not a likely result.

On top of all that, who even knows if this ever really happened?

alreadyredschool · 2015-10-14T17:57:41+00:00

Rules 1 and 2. He probably failed BOTH of them.

What did this guy do wrong?

He didn't learn anything from the first 100 rejections.

dr_warlock · 2015-10-14T17:02:06+00:00

Women are specifically designed to sniff out weakness, social status, mental fortitude, and lack of confidence. They can smell it from a mile away. This is the purpose of a shit test. It's a way of weeding out the undesirables in a discreet manner. They don't tell you they're doing this because they want to see how you 'naturally' are.

VermiciousKnidzz · 2015-10-14T18:48:30+00:00

we can't know unless we were to actually see a video of him asking someone out. i feel like you cant take someone's word that they themselves aren't socially awkward.

asking people out is so weird to me personally. i've never asked someone out and never will. i just meet people, become friends, and if a relationship happens with someone it happens.

this weird "may i court you" tradition is so old-fashioned and not modeled after the fact that, in reality, every relationship starts from friendship. falling in love without being friends is risky risky business.

17b29a · 2015-10-14T16:35:34+00:00

Not a lot of information to go off there!

FirionDarklight · 2015-10-14T16:20:33+00:00

Maybe he needs to lift, lose weight, take care of his personal hygiene, improve his social skills or a combination of the above. I wouldn't know. I don't have enough info. What he shouldn't do is listen to the bullshit most up-voted advice that is along the lines "stop chasing and it will come to you. be yourself. fate something blah blah blah i am an idiot blah blah". The easiest way to avoid coming off as "desperate", is to not give a shit really. Maybe, despite the 1000 times he has asked, he still places too much value on this so it comes off as desperate. Again, not enough info to be frank. If he is that worried about getting laid he should just go to a prostitute a bunch of times. The moment you know that you can pay for what an annoying girl offers, is the moment that you stop caring that much about her approval and therefore come off as more carefree/cocky/whatever. But yes, the creep word usually means unattractive/socially awkward. Still, placed between the choice of being called a creep and not getting laid ever, a practical man would choose the first one.

Whisper · 2015-10-14T21:52:48+00:00

Anything times zero is zero.

If he approaches in a way that has zero chance of success, he will achieve zero successes no matter how many times he approaches.

His attempt to play the numbers game is a result of swallowing the blue pill, buying into the notion that mating is about compatibility and individual taste. Under this model, mating is simply the act of talking to different people until you find a good fit.

But compatibility doesn't matter. Attraction matters.

He needs to learn how to present himself in a manner that makes him attractive. Then 10 approaches will be enough. If he doesn't do that, 10,000 won't.

redmachines · 2015-10-14T17:35:59+00:00

Sub 8 men are not allowed to cold approach women. People want to point out behavioral garbage as the reason for failure but if a woman likes you physically, she will give you positive feedback for your actions and thus giving you more than enough "confidence" to ask her out.

ThisWontDo · 2015-10-14T18:08:46+00:00

What did this guy do wrong?

I have no idea. I don't know what he looks like, what he acts like, what he says when he meets girls, how he reacts when he is told no, etc. But if you have been rejected 1000 times and have had ZERO success, why would you keep doing the same fucking thing?

Obviously he's not a bad person or a creep. Maybe he's ugly, who knows. The only information he provided as to what he does is this:

I talk to a girl for 10 minutes, get to know her a bit and if I like her I will ask her for her number. That's such a horrible act?

Well, firstly, if it didn't work for you the first 100 times, why would you keep doing it? Look, if some random person talks to me for 10 minutes(which is actually double what he said in an earlier comment. Before he said 4-5 minutes, which is probably more likely), our conversation is "meh", and then they ask me for my number? I'm only going to say yes if I feel like I have something to gain from this person, we had a genuine conversation or seemed to hit it off beyond,"hey girl what are you doing, nice weather, hey you're pretty can I have your number?"

If we don't actually have a good reasonable discussion, and it's clear you're just talking to me in hopes of getting my digits (and if you only talk to me for 5 minutes before asking, I'll especially get annoyed), you're getting nothing.

Edit:If you're missing 100% of your shots, you don't just keep throwing the fucking ball at the hoop like "maybe this time it will go in!". You think about WHY it went wrong change your strategy. It's better to spend more time investing in being genuine and getting to know a girl, than to just run around and talk to random girls for 5 minutes.

schnappdragon · 2015-10-14T16:38:56+00:00

He's not a bad person, he just wants a relationship like any other man.

If he's been rejected by 1000 different girls, his face is probably a 2. At the 1000 girl mark he's probably asked out everyone ranging from 5s-10s so you know he's seriously unattractive.

rulenumber303 · 2015-10-14T16:44:39+00:00

Maybe he should organise to do some of his asking out with a friend surreptitiously recording the process for later analysis. My guess is he's doing stuff he knows not to do but he's got no idea he is doing... bad body language, lack of good assessment of her body language, poor awareness of what is appropriate etc.

desire2become · 2015-10-14T19:44:40+00:00

Deconstruct it. What are women basing their attraction on?

Looks obviously, then we have status signals like body language, tone, attitude...

then we have the connection - from mirroring (this person gets me) to attaching feelings (fun or sexual) to being together.

then escalation (with push-pull dynamics for the tension), swipe any shit tests along the way and then you're balls deep.

So looks like he failed at the first hurdle (looks and status signals).

Hackey23 · 2015-10-15T04:06:20+00:00

FUUUUCCCKKK This thread is depressing. Bolting out of here, sends a shiver down my spine, won't even bother reading too much but if I had to guess, the guy kept asking out girls without really improving himself, his looks, his game, his confidence, etc.

Fuck, enough internet for tonight, night.

mc0079 · 2015-10-15T14:35:36+00:00

I don't think just relying on a numbers game is right if your going to be doing something wrong each time. If I punch a a concrete wall 100 times, it's not going to break through. Give me a sledgehammer and I would make it.

adrixshadow · 2015-10-15T17:16:50+00:00

If he really manged 1000 rejections I really got to admire that guy.

He has the right stuff, he just need a little guidance.

chloe1204 · 2015-10-16T14:30:47+00:00

He was probably going for women who have higher SMV than himself. I am sure if he was approaching HB5s and HB4s he would have had plenty of yeses. He mentioned being short and unattractive. The women who he was approaching were probably way out of his league.

TheEgregore · 2015-10-16T15:52:34+00:00

Where did he ask these girls out? If you just ask a girl out of the blue on a train you'll creep them out.

Also, as mentioned by himself, he is unattractive. He needs to make himself more attractive.

Xemnas81 · 2015-10-14T16:39:41+00:00

He's low SMV. He needs Monk Mkde+abundance mentality to fight off the neediness

goatismycopilot · 2015-10-14T17:11:10+00:00

I don't know, my guess is either he does not communicate nearly as well as he thinks, he gives off something non verbal that turns off the women, his word game is not as great as he thinks, and as a result he is not seeing himself in a critical way. He should have had a friend watch him talk to these women and give feedback. People have a tendency to over estimate themselves, inflate their percieved abilities and under play their weaknesses.

DStoo · 2015-10-14T17:35:17+00:00

A dude asked out 1000 girls and got rejected by every one of them.

He cold approached 1000 girls. I can honestly think of one relationship I've had that has followed the cliche.

Ask out on date.
Go on date.
Go on more dates.
Relationships.

thereddespair · 2015-10-14T17:12:17+00:00

From the radio yesterday. They were talking of this guy who looked 15 years younger for his age. And the woman said if youd put him on a line up and ask which is probably a criminal, youd have to pick him. Just looks dude is enough to make you be considered as a creep or even imaginary crimes and character flaws attached to you.

This is the society we live in.

[deleted] · 2015-10-14T18:19:55+00:00

1000 times? Probably tries to score with women out of his league. Or he's just really terrible at recognizing interested women. Giving off wrong vibes or whatever just can't explain 1000 failures, in one of these instances he would have ran into a woman who didn't feel these vibes by chance.

pakleader · 2015-10-15T02:44:15+00:00

What did this guy do wrong?

He didn't ask out enough girls

taiboworks · 2015-10-14T18:09:51+00:00

if 1000 girls said no, how could the cc be real, where is this evidence of uncontrolled female promiscuity?

Title	What did this guy do wrong?
Author	fizolof
Upvotes	8
Comments	96
Date	October 14, 2015 4:08 PM UTC (10 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/3oqkyo/what_did_this_guy_do_wrong/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/what-did-this-guy-do-wrong.279061 https://theredarchive.com/post/279061

Comments