Why are you still single?

Custard-Gyal · 2022-10-06T22:53:57+00:00

I'm exhausted and too busy in med school. Also, dating is a lot of work and takes a lot out of you, mentally, physically, and emotionally and unfortunately my career does that too. I'm still pretty sensitive to rejection. I have to be in the right (happy) mindset to be able to date and not have it ruin my life.

For now, I'd rather use my free time for some much-needed exercise or me time.

2022-10-06T23:17:39+00:00

Been single all my life don’t know anything else. There are other reasons but, I think this one is the big one.

LadyofTheGreyPath · 2022-10-07T00:58:30+00:00

I'll just out and say it; I'm off mentally, not in the weepy or easily angered way, I'm just off and so that means interest is limited. Please don't call it quirky either it's off, no point in sugarcoating this. Other factors include a slight failure to launch, I'm nothing particularly remarkable to look at and my hobbies are mostly very niche, and I rarely go out.

Professional_Cold463 · 2022-10-06T23:42:46+00:00

I don't even try

lewdakuma · 2022-10-06T23:39:02+00:00

three main reasons:

1) i'm unattracted/uninterested in most men, and i'm really bad at feigning interest

2) to attract the hypothetical man of my dreams, i also need to improve. i'm in the gym, working on my skin, finishing my second degree and job searching- all of which takes time and energy that i could be using to meet someone

3) i fail to realize what benefit being in a relationship would bring me. i've never been in one, and i'm a virgin. i'm introverted and very selfish with my alone time. i have a great system of friends that i get my social interaction from, and a really awesome immediate family that i spend a decent amount of time with. i don't plan on being financially dependent, and don't have a desire for kids. i just can't find the point in seeking out dating (something i don't enjoy) when i'm very content and singledom is all ive ever known.

not saying there aren't good, attractive men out there. i just don't feel like i need one.

wintergreen233 · 2022-10-06T22:49:09+00:00

A combination of four main factors.

I have very specific tastes in what I am attracted to, in terms of both looks and personality, that I’m not interested in changing because that wouldn’t be fair to anyone involved.

Similarly, while I’ve done a nice glow-up since my last relationship ended and I’ve been getting a lot more guys asking me out than ever before, my personality and lifestyle preferences really aren’t compatible with what most guys are looking for (that said, there’s probably a near 1-1 overlap of “type of guy who would like me” with “type of guy I like” so I’m not sure this actually matters).

I live for the time being in a non-ideal region to meet the type of guys that are compatible with numbers one and two above. I do WAY better when I travel to certain places and am suddenly surrounded by guys with much more similar personalities and interests.

And last, honestly I just haven’t been trying that hard, or at all. Quit the apps, letting life take me where it will, meeting a lot of amazing people and content to see what evolves from there.

fiftypoundpuppy · 2022-10-06T23:26:50+00:00

Specific compatibility requirements that are very uncommon. Easy to filter for online, very hard to filter for in person.

Unwillingness to use online dating apps due to poor previous experience. Men are far too likely to treat you like shit when there's no mutual friend group accountability/reputation to risk.

GlamSunCrybabyMoon · 2022-10-07T01:35:38+00:00

I don’t think I’m capable of raising a kid and being in a relationship at the same time. I put my energy into making sure I’m raising a good well adjusted person and I can’t have any one else draining me right now. I already have needy parents, I can’t handle one more person that needs me.

goats-egg · 2022-10-07T15:56:53+00:00

men are scary and I try to keep my interactions as neutral as possible with them; leave no room for flirting

DiamondLilyD · 2022-10-07T01:04:00+00:00

I don't think relationships with men are worth it.

The9thElement · 2022-10-07T00:40:43+00:00

Im really shy

hungrychick404 · 2022-10-07T01:03:52+00:00

I want to wait to find someone who I have stuff in common with. I would be down to have a relationship if I found someone who was worth it, but it isn’t a priority. The person also has to like me back too, which doesn’t always happen lol

Also my personality could be more attractive in some ways. I’m pretty, but I’m not really bubbly and extroverted like a lot of guys like.

ClaraBow01 · 2022-10-07T08:17:56+00:00

I’m going to finish my education first (20 month program), before dating. I am conventionally attractive and thin, but I also have really bad social anxiety.

KingOnixTheThird · 2022-10-07T01:09:56+00:00

I wanted to date but I have aspergers so even finding someone to date was incredibly difficult. I'm also significantly shorter than average which also makes finding someone to date problematic at times as well. Finally, I don't have the natural outgoing and extroverted personality, and I pretty much have to "mask" every time I want to talk to people which can be draining when doing it long term.

I dabbed a little bit in international dating sites, specifically women from The Philippines with promising results. I got a 50% match rate on Tinder compared to a 0.5% match rate in my hometown, and talked to many women from there as well. So I think that if I fail to find someone here, i'm going to go to SE Asia in my 30s specifically for the purpose of getting laid or finding a gf.

Siukslinis_acc · 2022-10-07T03:05:05+00:00

Because i might be on the asexual/aromantic spectrum and don't feel the yearning for a romantic relationship?

Oli_love90 · 2022-10-07T06:54:16+00:00

I don’t like going places, I don’t want to go out on dates, I see relationships and it just looks like a lot of work and I don’t have the energy to keep some guy interested. I also really don’t want to have some guys kids. All this to say I don’t put myself out there and never did.

literaryhogwartian · 2022-10-07T12:10:05+00:00

I'm not now but I was single for a long time. It was due to not meeting anyone who i liked and found interesting enough, I preferred to stay single than to spend time with a man who I did not click with on every level.

RocinanteCoffee · 2022-10-07T12:59:32+00:00

My personality isn't for everyone but it is very attractive to plenty. My face isn't for everyone but is attractive to plenty. Same with my body. Same with my work. My standards for dating are similar to if I wanted a long term relationship. The fact of the matter is, I prefer being single.

I am not seeking out a "serious, long-term relationship". I never want to marry and am never having children. I am deliberately choosing to keep my 'single' status.

localmicrodosechamp · 2022-10-07T16:31:03+00:00

I am a sensitive woman driven by finding meaning.

aka i am entirely not compatible with modern men.

TheMedsPeds · 2022-10-07T02:28:06+00:00

I’m legally single because my husband died. But I have a boyfriend, so I’m not really single.

Props to all you ladies who can be happy single. I absolutely fucking hated it.

My best friend hated it so much he only made it two months after his boyfriend dumped him and then he killed himself. I wonder how long I’d make it lol. Maybe if I had a large loving family or a good strong social life it might be more tolerable but I don’t really like my family all too much and all my friends (male, female, gay and straight) are all in relationships, so when we do hang (the maybe once or twice a month) I’d be a 3rd wheel. So yeah, life is pretty miserable like that. I also don’t have a lot of passion from my job, so without a relationship I don’t really have much to enjoy about life.

erunzzz · 2022-10-07T03:46:37+00:00

Guys just aren’t interested in me, plain and simple. Maybe it’s my looks, maybe it’s my awkwardness, I don’t know. I’m a college student and you’d think this is the easiest time to find a guy, but for me it’s seemingly impossible.

NegotiationNo717 · 2022-10-07T00:32:44+00:00

I looooovvvvveee being single. I am happier single than I ever have been attached. I don’t want marriage or an LTR and I’ve known since I was 11 I don’t want kids.

I have a fantastic job, great condo, tons of friends and come from a huge family that is incredibly close. I have a great social network. I like being out and about and live in a pretty good city to go out and have fun. I go on dates because I like meeting new people and trying new things, but I do let them know it’s just fun. I won’t be wanting anything long term or anything that resembles a commitment.

I do not crave companionship but I do crave solitude. I have a high sex drive so I keep a few FWB.

That’s why when men on here bemoan being single like it’s a disease I just don’t understand wtf they’re talking about (unless of course they admit they just want easier access to sex). But they talk about it like it’s the worst thing in the world, and the world is going to blow up because men are single. Like being single is fun as hell. Not to mention peaceful.

gofigure62 · 2022-10-07T13:40:20+00:00

I don't want to get married, cohabitate, or have children.

At my age most people are dating with the intention to settle down and start a family.

I don't have an issue with dating people, the issue is my general life incompatibility with most people. Most people want to live together and start a family at minimum.

Even men who claim that they don't want children, still want to cohabitate and get married.

Not too many people out there that are interested in the apart together life style.

I'm not interested in wasting anyone one's time. Plenty of men want to date me, but also believe that they can change my mind on all of my dealbreakers. I don't see the point in dating someone that you're not compatible with in the hopes that they'll "come around".

HeartCatchHana · 2022-10-07T14:01:00+00:00

I haven't tried putting myself out there. I need good photos to upload to dating sites.

Unhappy-Slice-5098 · 2022-10-08T05:12:33+00:00

Probably all of those things. Also, living at home and not going out much? People who live at home with family tend to be single which describes me pretty well. I am getting my own place but I don't know if/when I would pursue a relationship.

After hanging out here and in other subs, I'm thinking it's too much work/not worth the effort to find a boyfriend. I also can't imagine myself with one because I've been single all my life with 0 male attention. I am not particularly attractive. It's worth noting that I'm non-white living in a city with a diverse population (many Asians and South Asians) so it's not surprising that people here aren't actively pursuing relationships. They're gonna meet people through their families, religious or cultural communities and/or get arranged marriages. I am not part of these circles so it's on me to set myself up.

2022-10-08T18:41:10+00:00

By choice, and standards.

I by far prefer being single. Never dated and don’t want to because all I see in having a man would be trouble.

Edit: Oh yeah, and most men don’t meet the standard I have. And yes, I meet the standard myself.

JumboJetz · 2022-10-08T21:44:03+00:00

I was single for a long time due to being cautious about covid. I am now single because I have fuck buddies and that works for me.

bbbeenn32 · 2022-10-06T23:17:12+00:00

Well the mirror shatters when i see my reflection so that's probably why.

vindictaisracist123 · 2022-10-07T00:15:47+00:00

It's complicated and too personal to share

hydrogen_sulfate · 2022-10-06T23:53:55+00:00

I’m ugly and I’m a male

AstronautLoveShack · 2022-10-07T00:15:16+00:00

I’m not single. I’m on my 2nd marriage, roughly 25 years apart.

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2022-10-06T22:48:46+00:00

I’m not

cowfishAreReal · 2022-10-06T23:01:31+00:00

I'm not. When I was single it was because I wanted to, I wasn't looking for a relationship, and I do have standards that the vast majority of men don't fit. But I met someone who's awesome and I'm not single for over 2 years

Ok-Cupcake-2854 · 2022-10-06T22:45:28+00:00

its my personality and standards lol rip

EventSea8621 · 2022-10-06T23:05:08+00:00

ugly face, always look tired, bald at 26, lack of social skills, loner, introvert hobbies, virgin.

spongeboymebob321 · 2022-10-07T05:03:28+00:00

because im a dude and am straight

villarconstante · 2022-10-07T05:12:47+00:00

I am poor , wierd and ugly.

I seem to attract single mothers and postwall (40+) woman who want kids . I know I sound like a choosing beggar but nope, not going down that road on either

lectrohS_naisA · 2022-10-07T11:58:08+00:00

I have Aspergers and a very small penis which makes me have low self esteem

Cisra_returned · 2022-10-07T13:48:54+00:00

As a single guy in my 30s:

I focused too much on studying and work, did not invest in my social life when I was surrounded by people.
I never had close friends and never cared about keeping friends close, women do not like men that are not very social. Probably autism.
I'm not very tall nor good looking, and only recently I'm doing the best to look physically well.
I have porn, and that is enough to stop thinking about sex for a few hours. It is a tradeoff... I do not need the real thing but also it does not help me to get the real thing.
Women I meet are single mothers, old trying to find a guy to get them pregnant, mentally ill, entitled, etc. I really do not interact with single women that requires too many resources for bad sex.
I can do good alone.

Rare_Assignment_965 · 2022-10-07T14:29:12+00:00

lack of relative status in general and being introverted plus having a physical ailment after leaving the gym for health reasons.

I'm in electrical engineering so there isn't much free time left even though I take a few subjects for internships, there are almost no women in STEM that I see as possible partners, almost all of them I see as friends.

Extracurricular activities are basically stem clubs, so there are almost no women there, I like to cook but I wouldn't go to a cooking club, although I know that there would be more women open there, it's a third world country and it's already a lot to have my parents telling me that It's unmanly to cook even if I only cook for myself so you can imagine what it would be like to be the only man in a cooking class or club.

Regarding status, I go to an upper-class university, barely bordering on the middle class, so that is consistent with being an introvert and not being able to go to the gym, being ugly in the first place, that is having everything that kills a woman's interest for so even see you as a potential partner.

I have realized that the standards that women on reddit or the English-speaking internet apply only to those they see as potential partners, not the other way around.

in 2 years I will have time to go to places where more women go and money to solve certain health problems and return to the gym safely, but it feels like shit to know that they do not accept you as a partner but as a friend for things that are not should supposedly matter if you feel love for someone.

Hellsteelz · 2022-10-07T20:45:03+00:00

Girls are generally not interested in me, and never have been. Attracting a girl has always been difficult for me.
This has made me somewhat indifferent towards girls
Which has lead me to maximize on career, body, hobbies and social life = no time for dating now that I think of it.

MassageGymnist · 2022-10-08T08:06:40+00:00

Cause i make 25k a year. 🤡

dottywine · 2022-10-08T18:26:14+00:00

When I was single, it was because I simply didn’t find a guy I liked and respected yet. Literally that simple.

I dunno, maybe you can complicate it. Maybe say I was an introvert so I met less people, I wasn’t in spaces where I was seen as the hottest person so less people approached me, etc etc. who knows and who cares lol

The point is, my life is about me being happy so why disturb a good thing (being single) unless it’s for something better (meeting the man of my dreams)

Qhoul424 · 2022-10-10T17:53:10+00:00

My horrible personality and habits.

Additional_Speech164 · 2022-10-22T19:54:31+00:00

The last one. I find men ti meet my standards for sex and friendship but not dating wise. It’s ok. I’m happier on my own than in a bad relationship . Or one that’s old or involves unpleasantness.

Title	Why are you still single?
Author	Antonija_Blagorodna
Upvotes	16
Comments	148
Date	October 6, 2022 10:26 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/xxi7qz/why_are_you_still_single/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/why-are-you-still-single.1208566 https://theredarchive.com/post/1208566

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