I know this because I have experienced it in my own life. In my early college I had a group of friends who just... normal college kids. They weren't losers. They weren't even particularly unsuccessful with the opposite sex when they tried. They partied sometimes. They had partners. And so on.

But in retrospect, I realize something - they were conservative. Or to use a less loaded term, inhibited. This is a subtle type of inhibition that even they probably wouldn't recognize. But they were, especially when it came to sex and sexuality (but also socially, in general) . Seeking it, the effort they put in, the places they went to, the men/women they went after etc.

I noticed this, because I wasn't inhibited and I was dissatisfied when none of my friends seemed to want to go out of their way to do things outside their comfort zone. (I clearly remember a Friday when I called up three different friends because I had been given tickets to a burlesque club and thought it would be fun to go. None of them wanted to. This was the last in a long line of rejections).

But not only were they seemingly wired to do the comfortable and familiar over anything new, they also took sex seriously. It's hard to explain. They (male and female) just considered it a Big Deal. That's the conservatism I am talking about. In retrospect, I can clearly see how reserved they were about it even if they'd never ever consider themselves so.

When I moved off campus, my social circle partially changed. I moved into a house with other college students. Same age as my other friends, roughly same looks, but they were what I would call uninhibited. And immediately I noticed that the type of girls who came other were very different from the girls I usually hung out with.

They were (along with the guys) simply... looser... more adventurous. It's not like they were particularly slutty or anything but the vibe was so permissive that even if something did happen no one made a big deal about it. It really was like another world. And remember these were people from the very same college as my friends. They weren't particularly better looking or richer. They just weren't uptight about sex or who they fucked or where they went to look for the opposite sex. Stay in that house long enough and you will get laid if you weren't a complete shut in.

Point being, a lot of you (especially men but women too) are simply around the wrong people at least for certain purposes. I remember thinking in wonder that for so much of my teenage and early twenties I was simply spitting game at the wrong type of woman. Now I can actually tell and a lot of ya'll need to learn.

The world is divided (not cleanly, obviously there are overlaps) into two broad types of people and they usually end up in their appropriate social circles. Some of you are just stuck in relatively conservative ones (especially the younger guys/gals who can't know better) where you don't belong (many people are inhibited and perfectly fine with it and good for them). The hard part is figuring out how to expand your circle to at least be partly among the uninhibited. And it depends on your circumstances so I can't really help but it CAN be done and it usually involves doing new things, going to new places, speaking to new people. Nothing is more important than who you let yourself be around.