College was shit for getting laid for me. Is it going to get better?

seduction-ModTeam · 2024-06-13T19:04:07+00:00

This post/comment has been removed because it violates Rule #5: The topic is too broad, has been covered a lot already, or involves the assumption overly limited by race, age, physical limitations/appearance, and/or other inborn external qualities.

Put in some reading & work before asking questions that have been addressed, like: * How do I approach? * How do I get a number? * How do I talk to girls at college? * How/When do I kiss a girl? * Does this really work?

As for the last one, it is an answered question. There have been many posts on physical limitations over the years, including this one. No need to re-ask it.

publicenemyone · 2024-06-11T14:23:43+00:00

I didn’t start having success with women until I was 25, so 3 years after I graduated college. A lot of it just comes down to having an active social life.

I got laid three times in 5 years.

22-year-old me would’ve thought you were a god lol

cozonac_pufos · 2024-06-11T15:41:21+00:00

I got laid three times in 5 years.

3 times more than me

brandonmadeit · 2024-06-11T13:55:45+00:00

You actually have to go outside and be social, but I can attest that things get much better after college..IF you put the work in.

ExpensiveGrave · 2024-06-11T14:23:33+00:00

You have to actively work harder to make your own social group. A lot of jobs are inherently anti-social due to anti-labor movements of management. (Easier to keep your wages low when you won’t collaborate together and it’s every man for himself) Dating apps really only work for the top 10% of men and if you weren’t getting any in college from apps and you’re out there now and haven’t changed much… it won’t be different.

Overall, I’d say it’s worse for the overwhelming majority. It’s why a lot of folks look back on their college days with fondness. If you went to a hyper autistic super competitive grindy college then it might be better after school but that’s a very small percentage of colleges/people… and those folks tend to go into grindy work and lifestyles after college too.

My experience has been better in some sense but that’s because I literally got nothing in my six years of academia and I get non-zero now. I got zero after college for a while too.

-Twyptophan- · 2024-06-11T17:01:14+00:00

I didn't get laid at all in college (minus one bj but that doesn't count)

I had a lot more success after college when I moved away from home

Imjustnot_you · 2024-06-11T14:25:00+00:00

Yeah I know what you’re saying. I never hooked up with any girls from my college. I was pretty nonexistent since I would just show up for class and leave campus.. nothing or no one seemed to care about meeting me, so I just kept to myself. I never understood how to “put yourself out there” actually works.

I did, however, get laid by 20 different girls from out of school (dating apps, other colleges, etc.) all from 2019 until I graduated in 2022. After that I’ve slept with another dozen more until now. It’s definitely getting harder for sure.

I miss the good old days from 2019-2021 when tinder was so easy to fish in. I would have 99+ likes on tinder and 50+ likes on bumble. Now, dating apps are just a scam and this whole ideology about “men vs women” that’s going on right now doesn’t help with getting laid online. I rarely go out and when I do, it’s still the same shit.

Scorpnite · 2024-06-11T14:42:11+00:00

Same bro, I had a girl for the first year, broke up right before covid, got no pussy for a while, but then my last semester when everyone was mostly back in classes I fumbled. As soon as I graduated pussy started flowing. Shit made no sense

WholeMilkElitist · 2024-06-11T13:38:36+00:00

Money != Women (Unless you want a golddigger)

Money however will give you the opportunities to invest in yourself, grow, and meet more women.

mjornir · 2024-06-11T16:12:55+00:00

You did way better than I did in college lol, probably better than most anyway. It absolutely gets better, but you do have to put in more effort. The rewards are greater though.

If you wanna meet people you have to either live in a big city or, if you live in a suburb, go into one regularly. College towns can also be an option but small towns are a non-starter. Plenty of activities-bars and clubbing of course, but also social clubs/meet-ups, trivia, happy hours, sports leagues, museums, concerts, fitness classes, etc etc etc. Build a social circle by doing any selection of these regularly and in the same place, and start by inviting a small crew of friends from these places out to do whatever it is you would enjoy together.

One thing that really helped me in particular was hosting pregames and parties. I roomed together with some like minded people and then went out of my way to host gatherings for friends, who would bring friends of their own, who I’d then become friends with. Once you get things moving, your social circle will snowball and rapidly branch in many directions

readonlyuser · 2024-06-11T15:20:12+00:00

I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but college is logistically the easiest place to get laid. It will require more effort moving forward.

Necessary_Arm_5824 · 2024-06-11T14:53:00+00:00

I hooked up with girls probably 1-2 times a month in college. It went down afterwards, but a lot of that was due to me quitting alcohol and a series of longer term relationships. Plus the fact that I went to a party school

gr3nade · 2024-06-11T19:15:07+00:00

Yes and no. It generally gets easier as you get older as a man because you have more autonomy, more money, more experience, better social circle. However, it doesn't get easier if you don't try with some consistency.

shecallsmedaddyyy · 2024-06-11T23:00:30+00:00

You’re fine man as long as you focus on bettering yourself physically and financially. I’ve slept with more women since I turned 30 (I’m 33 now) than in my 20s combined lmao

SnooHesitations4922 · 2024-06-11T13:52:45+00:00

Wait 10 years and get a job on campus or take part time continuing education courses. When you go back as the older guy you will see everything is the opposite.

I say that as an example; you don't need to wait that long if u can grasp the concepts.

I was never a full time student but was always involved at campuses in my area through jobs and working adult classes. When I was college aged none of the girls would even acknowledge my presence despite being athletic and outgoing.

When I got into my early 30s I got actively approached more times at the campuses than I could count, nevermind the more subtle and passive choosing signals. The paradox is that I am not in as good of shape and I'm actually less social (more selective with who I hang out with).

I realized this happened because I started behaving towards the younger women the exact same way they treated me in the past. I stopped going out of my way to try to impress strangers. I stopped "double look backs"; I stopped getting excited and "giddy" in the face of beauty and even look at them and talk with slight disdain as if they are objectifying me like im an object. (Even though I want them to)For me this came with age, but u can start now.

ZennedGame · 2024-06-11T17:22:01+00:00

Whether or not "it" will get better depends on whether or not 'you' will get better.

My #1 tip is to become aware of what you did right when you succeeded, what went wrong when you failed, and to become conscious of female nature - the good, the bad, and the ugly. The first two are only possible by experience; the third can at least start with raw knowledge (including others' experiences).

Questions to consider: What behaviors/attitudes led to the 3 lays you DID get? What went right in each of those scenarios? What patterns did you notice? How did you feel when meeting and interacting with those women PRIOR to the sex? Take what works and roll with that...usually.

Conversely, why do you feel women are repelled (not attracted) to you? When you were rejected, what could you have done better? Did you act out of desperation (focus on YOU/what YOU can gain) or legitimate interest (considering HER). Spoiler: Women don't like too much of either, but what they do like is self-aware man who recognizes his own behaviors and '"just gets it" (even if it took years of not knowing shit, but she doesn't need to know that).

If you are not conscious and reflective of what succeeds and fails, you will (theoretically) keep running into the same trap until "enough is enough." The learning curve that would follow probably could've been 2x, 3x, 4x as quick if you had understood the psychology of intersexual dynamics - because we've been lied to by society, particularly about the fickle, often inconvenient, nature of the sex you will be living alongside & dating for the rest of your years. Those who consistently "learn the hard way" often end up frustrated/bitter and blaming women, when in reality their negativity (and many redundant result) could've been prevented if they had the resources & willingness to reflect and adapt.

You've fuckin got this.

epimpstyle · 2024-06-11T21:03:54+00:00

You missed the traditional opportunity to have a social life. Actually, you make friends with your male/female colleagues, then they introduce you to their friends... and so on... well, maybe it will work in your workplace if you have missed that opportunity in college.

How do I start finding women to meet after college?

Women are everywhere, all you have to do is talk to them because they are not going to read your mind and say "oh that guy is single..." that would be too easy, actually you have to initiate the conversation because you neither read minds and you can't say who is single, so you have to talk to them and ask...

If you know a shortcut without talking, let us know.

krustibat · 2024-06-11T15:53:45+00:00

have zero social life.

Work on that first

Foxito_007 · 2024-06-11T20:35:39+00:00

Focus on self-improvement by investing in regular haircare, updating your wardrobe, expanding your knowledge of psychology, understanding the distinctions between a simp and a sigma man, and being cautious about being overly nice to avoid being friendzoned. These are complimentary insights from someone recognized as a highly successful in seducing and banging.

You can find chicks on bars, on the street , or in dating apps : tinder , bumble etc .

Atriev · 2024-06-11T21:02:27+00:00

Statistically, no. College is where most people peak. Some people improve and make post-college incredible but statistically, college is the peak.

RandomRedditName200 · 2024-06-12T02:06:26+00:00

I am not a complete player since I still fumble chances and am pretty shy. But after getting in shape and being in a good spot in life, I have had a lot more opportunities open up for me

AnonAngel777 · 2024-06-12T08:35:45+00:00

If you are fit, independent and make decent money then the world is your fucking oyster brethren. You are the prize. If you see someone that catches your eye, approach and introduce yourself. It’s that easy.

Designer_Media_NW · 2024-06-12T17:07:44+00:00

Yeah dude - got to be more social. Easier said than done, but it doesn't mean having to maintain a large group of friends and being busy all the time. Getting friendly with a handful of people that you vibe with can be enough to make 'friend of a friend' connections - which usually lead to romantic engagements.

But you must overcome the anti-social mindset. For me, it was a lot of travelling alone, which I forced myself to talk to people or simmer in my own misery. Most people don't mind a chat, if you engagement in a friendly way. I've witnessed countless conversations and friendships being developed from a simple - 'Hey, could you spare a cigarette' or 'hey, is this seat empty' - knowing how to just small talk is crazy powerful.

OriginalMandem · 2024-06-12T20:19:13+00:00

I lost my virginity whilst I was there but generally speaking it wasn't as great for me as some people experience. But in fairness I had a few things going against me at the time. I didn't start going through puberty til I was nearly 20 so I looked easily 5 years younger than other people my age. This was obviously shit when I was younger (who wants to get with someone as developed as their kid brother?), this had a pretty profound effect on my confidence and self-esteem; it took me til I was 30 or so to get past that. Plus I was also kinda chubby, and grew up in a pretty sex-negative household, I was actually 'banned' from girlfriends until I'd "passed my studies". Which never happened as my dad died early on in year 1, I ended up restarting, then getting kicked out for passing but not showing up enough etc etc. So anyway my student life got pretty badly de-railed because of that so I ended up not getting the same experience. I just wish I could go back in time and redo it with the 'improved' personality of my 30s and 40s. Because now I kinda feel like I'm still in that phase of life, just a couple of decades too old to live it properly.

Boddicker06 · 2024-06-12T20:57:09+00:00

That’s up to you. If you’re counting on strangers on the internet to do it for you, not likely to get better.

GG_Sebastian · 2024-06-11T14:51:07+00:00

It only gets better if you make a conscious decision to improve your current circumstances. Are you in good physical shape? Are you growing your income? Are you practicing cold approach as much as you can? These are all things within your control to improve on.

You can literally meet women almost anywhere. Coffee shops, parks, bars, clubs, hobbies, list is endless.

Broofturker71 · 2024-06-11T18:17:03+00:00

Uh oh. That's pretty prime getting-laid environment.

BasicDesignAdvice · 2024-06-11T23:52:52+00:00

have zero social life. How do I start finding women to meet after college?

Get a social life.

Money has nothing to do with getting laid (but it does factor into the long term). Lots of broke ass dudes get laid even with rich ladies.

chineke14 · 2024-06-12T03:39:55+00:00

Yes man. I wish I had realized it earlier but other things were going on so I stayed in school longer. But yes, it does get better. College is what 50k people at most. Bigger cities give you more chances.

false_dreams · 2024-06-12T07:33:25+00:00

I wouldn't say it get easier especially if your working all the time but it just depends on how socially active you are, get some active hobbies and meet girls that way, or just go to a bar and get whatever.

TripleDigitNomad · 2024-06-12T11:01:15+00:00

My best year was at the age of 29, slept with 79 different women that year alone. One more month until I turn 31 and I'm currently at 78 this year, making it likely that I will surpass my previous record.

In comparison, in 5 years of college (including one year abroad), I only slept with 20 different women. So basically, yes, it will get better, provided you're doing the right things to maximize your attractiveness, find and approach women, get good at texting, have great dates, and successfully physically escalate.

Barniculos · 2024-06-12T11:44:01+00:00

Don’t do anything because a woman likes it, because women are into anything

It’s so corny but honestly work on yourself. Find a softball league or something during the week you look forward to participating in- when you are comfortable and your authentic self- people find that attractive. My brother in law has been struggling for a few years and just got into a run club. His confidence sky rocketed because he was accomplishing and setting new goals in an area he’s never tried hard before. He found a long term gf within 6 months and 8 months later they are talking about moving in together

MWYPHMP · 2024-06-12T16:15:18+00:00

I'm 37 and I've slept with 10 women in the past 4-5 months. It definitely can get better if you work on yourself.

Theboynextdoor09 · 2024-06-12T16:45:03+00:00

Tons of places to meet women after college but the platmys similar to that of what college was

AssistTemporary8422 · 2024-06-11T17:04:15+00:00

Getting laid three times in college isn't bad. After college you will have to put real effort to socialize because its no longer landed to you on a silver platter. You can start by browsing meetup.com.

_PPPOP_ · 2024-06-11T18:02:07+00:00

I went to a commuter school so getting laid was almost impossible (to be fair I missed a couple of chances). Anyways, went almost 2.5 years without getting laid until my senior year.

It got a lot better after graduating and it will get better in your late 20s because you will be more confident and older women will start turning their eye to you as well - they like to skip the bs.

I heard things better in your early 30s. I ended up getting into a relationship so I may not find out, but go on and live for those of us that can’t.

hothotelnights · 2024-06-11T21:57:24+00:00

Probably not

MasterRaheem · 2024-06-12T02:24:04+00:00

It’s worse after college lol

Icy-Salt-5886 · 2024-06-12T02:45:49+00:00

if u have a bbc yes

ZenoGeno · 2024-06-12T08:19:03+00:00

For me it didn't, working meant less time and at work all people are outside my age group.

ZenoGeno · 2024-06-12T08:55:46+00:00

The more I read comments the more I realize I made a huge mistake, although the university life is not the same here as in America.

Capital_Pollution192 · 2024-06-12T09:04:37+00:00

Veryzoned · 2024-06-12T17:17:51+00:00

Money

TRTGymBro1 · 2024-06-11T16:51:59+00:00

Start by getting your ass off of your couch.

TomsXXL · 2024-06-11T20:22:21+00:00

It can definitely get better. I didn’t get much play at all those years but at 23 things completely changed. I got into the gym and studied some game, stated going to clubs

rustoof · 2024-06-11T20:09:34+00:00

Its not going to get better. Your natural motivation to get laid is strongest between 16 and 22. You wasted it, and youre not going to magically have the energy to work your grown up job and go out partying until 3 am 4 times a week like you should have done in college.

I would focus on finding one good girl and marrying her. The odds of you ever being a "player" are basically non existent.

Eljay1989 · 2024-06-11T17:22:08+00:00

It depends on what you do and not your age. I first had sex at 18, which I considered as late, but since the girl was hot, it boosted my confidence and within the next 2-3 years I slept with about 30 women, but then I had a few years with nothing going on.

I had a few o these periods of meeting many women and dry spells. Looking back there was no secret. At 18 I was constantly going to parties, and at parties I met girls but also people who'd invite me to other parties. That made me hang out with a group of people and you'd always get introduced to women. At around 21 I focused more on my diet, exercise, work, and not drinking booze nor going out, so it's not rocket science.

Dating apps might work(never used them), but nothing works more than being in a group among lots of women in a location where you casually get to meet them.

Kagenikakushiteru · 2024-06-11T18:36:06+00:00

Title	College was shit for getting laid for me. Is it going to get better?
Author	Dependent_One_8131
Upvotes	169
Comments	99
Date	June 11, 2024 1:34 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1dde91f/college_was_shit_for_getting_laid_for_me_is_it/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/college-was-shit-for-getting-laid-for-me-is-it.1521237 https://theredarchive.com/post/1521237

Comments