I'm almost 17 and never had a girlfriend. Sick of the "it'll happen eventually" stuff, so I'm going to make it happen.

norwegiandoggo · 2022-01-05T15:17:03+00:00

Sweet! It's great that you're trying to attack this head on. The only thing that I would advise you is to focus on learning more than outcome.

Making progress towards "learning how to get a girlfriend" is more important than whether you end up with a girlfriend. Learning and improving your skills is 100% within your control. Getting a girlfriend is only partially within your control.

caesarfecit · 2022-01-05T15:38:06+00:00

Read Models. Buy, beg, borrow, or steal a copy of this book.
You're 17. Chill. If I were you, I'd be using your remaining time in high school to practice for college.
If you have social anxiety/poor social skills, then the secret is to be social. Don't put so much pressure on yourself to impress people, and just get to know people.
The harder you try to find a girlfriend, the harder one will be to find. I actually thought I wasn't that popular with the girls in high school, until I realized long after the fact that several cute girls had crushes on me and I was totally oblivious or it just wasn't on my radar.

Key-Quantity-9140 · 2022-01-05T15:33:35+00:00

I'm 23 and iv only had one like 3 years ago for a few months 😂

Chicagoj1563 · 2022-01-05T15:40:00+00:00

I can see how everyone saying it will work itself out eventually is a bit frustrating. Going after what you want is a much better way to go.

What are the places you can go to where you can interact with the types of women you want to meet? You will need to answer this for yourself. It won't magically happen. You will have to seek out those places, go there and socialize.

So, the first question you need to answer is where can you go to meet women. If thats your school, fine then thats your place. Is there anywhere else? There needs to be places where you have multiple opportunities to socialize with women. Figure that out first.

Then just learn the fundamentals of attraction and the pitfalls most guys fall into (too needy, poor eye contact, vocal tonality, etc..). Be willing to take some risks, keep everything fun, and practice socializing. Focus on the social side of things, not just getting the girl. The girls will come when you get the fundamentals down as long as you put yourself out there and socialize.

47756e6e6172 · 2022-01-05T17:19:18+00:00

I will offer you a statement (that you may ignore if you so wish, but it might give you a new perspective) and then some advice.

Statement: I got together with my first girlfriend when I was 16. But, in my class of 30 others, only 1 other guy had a girlfriend. Everyone else in my class were single, the next person from my class to end up in a relationship did so at the age of 19. And mind you, I went to a school with very smart, ambitious, social and charming people, if they had tried they most likely would have ended up in a relationship quite easily. So don't stress it, it is very likely that it will happen sooner or later.

Advice: I would advise you to be more social with girls in general, make friends first, then they either turn into girlfriends or they introduce you to friends of theirs. If they introduce you to someone, it is likely that they have talked of you in a positive way, which improves your chances. You can also ask your female friends for pointers regarding how you interact with them. In the future (if you get close enough with some of them) you can also ask for pointers or help when it comes to sex. Also regarding sex, the first time most likely won't be magical, it will most likely be awkward and not very good.

Girls are "known" to play hard to get, but it works for guys as well, kind of. Flirt, but don't make it obvious, and whatever you do, DON'T SHOW THAT YOU'RE DESPERATE!!!

Something a lot of girls like, is a guy that is confident and knows what he wants. Make eye contact (don't look at their boobs (unless they wear something very revealing and try to show them off, then glance a bit so that they notice that they managed to get your attention)) when you talk to them, but don't stare. Use gestures when you talk, but don't overdo it, it will make you look like a broken helicopter. Make sure to have a good posture, stand/sit up straight, no one likes someone with a bad posture. Tell her about yourself, but let her talk as well, and if she doesn't, ask stuff about her. If she feels comfortable talking about it she will do so, and it will make her feel like you're interested in her and her life. Ask her follow-up questions to what she tells you. Same here, don't overdo it, there needs to be a conversation, a flowing two-sided conversation where both parties are equally involved.

Don't waste your time on trying to flirt with someone that clearly isn't interested, it won't lead anywhere, you might become friends with them instead if you don't chase them away. Which can help you with other people.

I once again want to mention that you should be more social with girls in general, it really does help, both before AND after you get into a relationship, your female friends have insights and perspectives that you don't have, and if you ask them nicely they might be very willing to help you out, just remember to be as willing to help them, should they need it.

Lastly: DON'T BE AN ASSHOLE! No-one likes an asshole.

I can probably give some more advice if you want, but for the moment this is all I can think of. Others are welcome to add stuff to my advice if they have something to contribute with.

aidsjohnson · 2022-01-05T16:42:59+00:00

Dude relax, you got this. You're only 17 and you're working on bettering yourself. I'm 29, never had a long-term girlfriend, and only starting now. Good luck brother.

borderline_autistic1 · 2022-01-05T17:14:50+00:00

Good luck man. I'd focus on laying the foundation and getting some social skills for college. Don't waste your years at college like I did. There will never be a better opportunity for girls than there and I have so many regrets all the time because I missed out on all of it Don't be like me

PaqS18 · 2022-01-05T19:01:48+00:00

Dude I’m 20 and never had a girlfriend. Why worry about it. You can still meet girls and fuck, without committing.

SithLordJediMaster · 2022-01-05T21:00:58+00:00

"Yesterday you said tomorrow. What are you waiting for?! Don't let your dreams be dreams. JUST...DO...IT!!!!" - Shia LaBeouf

WheelIntelligent1354 · 2022-01-05T17:38:53+00:00

it'll happen eventually

Unless it's gonna be an arranged marriage you're right in believing it won't just happen.

music_guy_in_sweden · 2022-01-05T19:14:05+00:00

Yeah maybe it's not what you wanted to hear but it really doesn't matter if you have had a gf at this age or not.

I got my first 'real' gf at 20.

It's not a race. Nobody worth it is gonna tell you they won't be friends/date you because you're 17 and haven't got a gf. Don't rush into a relationship just for the sake of it.

With that said: if you find someone you really want to date/be around, make it happen, but your life won't depend on it.

And finally: most people, including yourself, are somewhat 'normal'. That means most people, or at least many of them, are/will be/have been in a similar situation - even though you might not have seen or paid attention to it. This is what helped me when I was younger: realizing life as I live it is valid and normal regardless of the norm.

Dakessian · 2022-01-05T21:26:17+00:00

That’s a great goal but don’t make it your purpose in life. I would treat it as some sort of hobby. Talk to as many girls/women as you can, have fun and enjoy it.

NreoDarknight21 · 2022-01-05T21:27:19+00:00

That's good that you are going to work on yourself, but take my advice: DON'T DATE ANYONE JUST TO DATE AND BE DONE WITH IT. It's disrespectful to not just you but the other person as well if you don't have any real intentions of dating the person. I wish you well.

Significant_Pea9619 · 2022-01-06T00:53:34+00:00

Here's the thing. I'm only in my early 20s and I still remember being in your shoes. I never dated anyone in high school and since then, I've only had one semi-serious girlfriend. As far as socializing went, I only had about 2 or 3 close ones and that was it. I loathed the canned "it'll happen eventually" advice that I got from people who never had issues dating growing up, and I still do to an extent. But over time I realized something that changed by entire worldview: Not everyone is for me, and I'm not for everyone.

I couldn't wrap my mind around that when I was your age. I thought I did because it sounds obvious, but I still wanted to make myself more "likeable" as if there was something wrong with me. It is completely true that everyone moves at their own pace, and what that really means is that growth happens naturally. It's good to have a positive mindset towards being more social, but ultimately growth isn't something that can be forced.

I promise you that, in my experience, placing a goal on something completely out of your hands is only going to exacerbate the negative feelings you're experiencing now. Setting goals like "I want to be better at maintaining eye contact," or "I want to improve my small talk" is perfectly fine and gives you something actionable to work towards that is fully within your own hands, but making your goal to get a girlfriend before you graduate will put a ton of pressure on you and make you question what's wrong with you the closer you get to graduating.

At the end of the day, I don't know you, so there could be some issues that you need to work out within yourself. But the most important thing you can do is learn to love yourself. Loving myself helped me to overcome my social anxiety better than any reddit seduction forum or dating guru ever could. It's not something that I or anyone else can teach you how to do, but it starts with 2 things:

Realize that you are you. Most things that people say is "normal" as it pertains to dating (e.g., getting your first girlfriend in high school) might not apply to you. Don't force yourself to do something uncomfortable for the sake of "normality" (i.e., cold approaching). Do things at your own pace
Positive self-talk. Telling myself that I look good when I see myself in the mirror and accepting compliments and internalizing them helped me to see myself as a person worth loving. Now, even though I don't have a girlfriend I'm okay with that, knowing that it's not because I'm not worth it, but because I like to move at a slower pace.

I know it's an earful, but I hope that maybe this will help you as much as it's helped me.

babajisbro · 2022-01-06T03:46:20+00:00

Your instincts are right. It doesn't "eventually happen" to everyone. Many guys stay virgins deep into their 40s and 50s...maybe even till death, unintentionally.

However, if you focus on building up your social network and social skills...your confidence will come and women will respond to you favorably when you approach them.

Get some hobbies, friends you like and find a meaningful goal to work towards (a goal that has nothing to do with women).. look clean and practice good hygiene....then approaching women and getting a gf will no longer be a problem.

toxic_turtle2 · 2022-01-06T04:17:26+00:00

your best bet is to learn the thing called "game" bro as a person who is 18, just graduated high school recently, and got a girlfriend using the same mindset you have now, honestly just focus on game. find out what girls like and don't be such a simp. you have to be on top of your looks and outfits (don't go over the top with outfits just something simple that looks good and makes you sorta stand out from everyone else) and hygiene and that's just the first part. next is learning how to talk to girls and how to flirt without being too forward or clingy I guess. the best way to practice is with people in public. literally anywhere just make sure the time and place isnt inconvenient to the person you're talking to.

You got a long road ahead of you bro and honestly i agree with everyone saying to focus on school and to chill out but the earlier you learn stuff like this, the better because it might helo you in the future. being social is VERY important and knowing how to talk to people.

prfrmnceart · 2022-01-05T20:24:42+00:00

You’re only 16. Don’t worry, it’ll happen eventually

ThatGuy_Nick9 · 2022-01-05T16:47:38+00:00

Lol go get en tiger

great_account · 2022-01-05T19:37:50+00:00

Bro you're 17. Girls at your age have no idea what's going on. Neither do you. Most of them will just be excited that you were confidently giving them attention. Just go for it.

CarlSchulenburg · 2022-01-05T20:12:07+00:00

Dude I was in the same situation when I was your age. Be confident in yourself and you’ll will meet someone I promise you that. I started working out and that definitely help boost my confidence. You might wanna try that. Best of luck my friend

SpinCity07 · 2022-01-05T23:02:56+00:00

I would try drama class to help get over people’s opinion affecting you. Also, I would start a work out routine. Don’t worry if you feel like you don’t belong, you do belong in the gym. I would also get good grades and do after school stuff, like join basketball team, football etc…, if you like music, practice an instrument you like. Just by doing these things, some girls will find you attractive because your a person with a future ahead of them. Ignore dumb sluts and asshole types. Don’t get dragged into their bullshit. Just focus on improving yourself. Don’t start drinking till college. Practice being funny and witty with people. If you can do it on girls, even better. Girls want to experience fun, if you can do that, your in. Get your drivers license. Don’t waste time gaming unless you think you have a future in it. Like you’re parents are rich and you have connections.

Finally, girls are in the same boat and never dated anyone or very few and want to get experience because they crave the social stuff. So even if you don’t think you’re good enough, they probably won’t mind since they want that experience more than anything. If you get rejected, that’s fine, shows you have balls. It hurts but you can always recover from pain and do it again.

bayouboeuf · 2022-01-05T23:22:16+00:00

Do not make “dating” a “goal”.
Your social life will depend upon a lot of factors.

a. How big is your school? b. How big is your town? c. Is your town big enough to have other schools or do you live in a very rural area? d. What are things to do in your town/city? e. Do you have a driver’s license? f. What are your personal interests at this point in your life?

Read about self confidence, codependency, and stoicism. All 3 have a variety of books out about those topics but you will find lots of articles online and also here on Reddit.
Work on your personal resumé. Not a work resumé that lists where you worked, because you are young. But you can build a personal resumé by tracking personal accomplishments. For instance: go run 1 mile, go run that mile in a faster time, or go run 2 miles instead. If you are not athletic, join a local gym and exercise, or if you live in a big enough city, join a gym that can train you in judo or jiujitsu. Those things will help build you up not only physically and in strength but also in discipline and focus of your mind.

Can you join another type of club, or start one? Do you like technology? Start a computer club. Have your club record and make it’s own podcast. Are you a gamer? Go that route, and podcast about games.

If you can, learn stuff that young people today do not want to learn (not saying ALL young people) like start a garden. That’s a lifelong thing that is ever changing. Start learning how to be a beekeeper. Hang out with and search out older people to be mentors.

Do those things above for you. The right person will notice you becoming a well rounded individual and the best version of yourself. And the amazing thing is, there is no timetable for a “girlfriend”. I know people who are in their 30’s and 40’s and 50’s who are single, and HAPPILY single. Learn to love your own company. Learn the emotional skills so that when other people let you down that you don’t blame them and your feelings don’t get caught in a rollercoaster ride.

Write me if you have questions.

average_hight_midget · 2022-01-05T23:54:14+00:00

Bruh not having a girlfriend until I was in Uni was something I was almost proud of.

kingbris · 2022-01-06T04:53:19+00:00

work on bettering yourself

player89283517 · 2022-01-06T05:59:05+00:00

Just be careful and don’t put too much pressure on yourself to get a girlfriend. I’ve been in your shoes before and became depressed about the number of times I was getting rejected before I realized it wasn’t necessarily my fault.

ChildhoodFun726 · 2022-01-06T08:55:53+00:00

Dude forget all the theory and reading books about how to get better socially, I'll give you the secret to bypass all that crap. all you need to do is go out and start talking to people. Get desensitised to the anxiety. If you live in a big city then great if not then this can still work. Go to the centre or wherever there is a lot of people/footfall and talk to people. You don't need to attract people or seduces them. Just go up to them and talk to them. Have a 5 minute conversation with them, or longer if you can manage it. The aim is to get over your anxiety and have the ability to talk to people that you like/find interesting. And if your serious about this then talk to 5 people every day for 30 days. Then tell me if you have anxiety about talking to people. It will be a breeze, you'll be able to talk to anyone.

Backheelfields · 2022-01-05T17:51:34+00:00

Yes please dont listen to the people who said " it ll happen eventually" type shit. Trust me as guys we dont have the luxury of potential gf/ bf's constantly approaching us. Youre going to have to put a lot of effort in to make things happen but it will be worth it bro. I just see a lot of buddies of mine ( im 27) in there 30's and late twenties have this mentality and they are not people you want to be lolol

Dazzling-Importance1 · 2022-01-05T16:28:20+00:00

Workout and get a good job don't be needy focus on yourself

Paradox_Blobfish · 2022-01-05T19:15:58+00:00

You're a child. A lot of people never had gf/bf at 17.

GlitterSnatchCyTex · 2022-01-05T17:39:11+00:00

Wrong mindset. There’s a very zen practice to getting a girlfriend. In order to get a girlfriend, you have to stop looking for one. You sound as if you are looking for a possession. A girlfriend is a companion.

the-rhythm · 2022-01-05T21:31:43+00:00

Lol. I'm nearly 30 and never had a girlfriend. Life still goes on...

greenteaslime · 2022-01-06T03:39:58+00:00

U don’t need a girlfriend at 17 my guy😹trust me

-Rixi · 2022-01-06T07:59:14+00:00

Take a shower 🚿

leelbeach · 2022-01-05T23:09:39+00:00

Fuck me, your 17! I'm 25 and I've never had one.

lovesbane · 2022-01-05T15:12:34+00:00

This is absolutely the worst reason to start dating someone. Please don't use someone else for your own misguided social goals. Imagine just finding any girl remotely attractive to you and convincing her to date you because.... what... Because you're sick of being single.

That's incredibly selfish and self-centered which is the exact opposite of being ready for a relationship.

You need good influences who will show you how to practice self-love more than you need someone to date.

Go ahead and overcome your social anxiety. And go ahead and have the social life you want (although, covid and what not). But for real, nobody deserves to be some box checked off on a to-do list.

TreeCommercial44 · 2022-01-05T17:40:20+00:00

You're only 17 dude most 17 year olds are virgins single or never kissed anyone lol

DominatePressure · 2022-01-06T06:19:27+00:00

Im totally with you but on one thing. You are not wasting your time alone. Being single or in a couple does not define your worth.

Marinaraplease · 2022-01-05T21:52:28+00:00

I would reccommend starting with some ugly girls

syracuseda9 · 2022-01-05T23:39:23+00:00

Getting a therapist might be a good idea too. The quicker you solve this problem the happier i think u will be

GTQ521 · 2022-01-06T05:00:34+00:00

Is this some kind of New Year's resolution? Not sure what your plan is. One way to overcome your social anxiety might be getting a job, volunteer somewhere, or join a club that puts you in contact/interactions with people. That might help you gain more confidence. You are also more likely to meet a girl that way.

Deep-Room6932 · 2022-01-05T20:34:44+00:00

Ive never driven a ducati 998, but oneday

syracuseda9 · 2022-01-05T23:38:34+00:00

This has to be the mentality or youll end up like me, having graduated college and never having done anything with a girl.

Best of luck kid

LowFiGuy7 · 2022-01-06T00:49:02+00:00

Wait until your old enough to use tinder and it becomes much easier to meet up with women.

It's much harder to meet new people in person then on tinder and also with covid people play it safe.

EstablishmentIll67 · 2022-01-06T05:06:25+00:00

Dammmmmm when I was 17 I was having shit🤷🏾‍♂️. Maybe bc I’m tall asf or funny or no cap handsome and built different

mondayortampa · 2022-01-05T18:06:43+00:00

Good for you. I would say don’t obsess over it if it becomes hard as time goes by. because you are young and what you fear can became a reality.

But with that being said congrats on stepping up and attempting control and focus. Not a lot of people can even get to this point mentally.

Good luck 👍🏽

douglawhitegirl · 2022-01-05T19:36:07+00:00

I'm a girl, and I didn't have my first boyfriend until I was 18 and already done with school. I think for a LOT of people not dating during school is quite common. Anyway, I'd recommend doing something quite drastic to build your self-confidence and force yourself to be social (and not just to "get game" or pick up girls, I mean general good social skills). Not sure what that'll mean to you but for me it was solo travel.

CharlieVGoldberg · 2022-01-05T19:57:05+00:00

Do online dating.

Raffinert · 2022-01-05T20:47:16+00:00

Focus on you, and what you want to become (what you wanna achieve) dont have to be big things, but do what YOU want to do. Its cliché, but so fucking true. And when you comfortable with what you do for a living you can explore other things, and achieve new things in your life.

Also. Body and healt.

All sums down to you.

A little tip can also be, see what make other people trustful and good humans. Look for small thing that in the end will make you a good human. But just small things.

It make take time, but don't stress it, it will be alright.

Good luck!

Ok-Ad-7247 · 2022-01-05T21:50:36+00:00

Have a go mate. It will happen. Just gotta give it a try. You'll learn a lot.

DryAdhesiveness6579 · 2022-01-05T21:52:08+00:00

I went through high school with dating, or getting kissed, lost virginity in college but no gf.

serious gf after college

now at 31 i only gave a rough idea of what my body count is and it’s high.

It will happen but you can’t focus on it, focus on other things that make you happy.

yhw0 · 2022-01-05T21:52:23+00:00

Same position at 19

kingofmylunchtime · 2022-01-05T21:52:42+00:00

Get in the gym.

Have a look at your wardrobe

Incorporate a routine where it enhances your looks. Regular haircuts, regular sleep etc.

Find a hobby to, when you concentrate on something else you’ll be surprised how easy it is to seduce women. When your mind is on other things you won’t be as urgent to meet someone and it’ll happen more organically because you have your hobby feeding your happiness to a degree.

I was the same as you at your age and then I began to play rugby again.

Not long after I met my first love. Granted, things didn’t work out but that’s neither here or there.

Also you are still young. Try not to put pressure on yourself and enjoy. If I was talking to my younger self this is what I will say. Put yourself first.

Good luck.

KaleWeekly · 2022-01-05T22:07:14+00:00

I was in your shoes when I was in highshool. Unfortunately for me, the pandemic hit when I just turned 18 and pretty much eliminated senior year of HS and freshman year of college for me. I pretty much just focused on myself and working to improve myself in the big picture.

When I finally got on campus this year, I originally had your same mindset, which caused me to try to hard. I then took a step back and realized I didn't need a relationship. Guess what happened? I got into a relationship, albeit way too fast and it failed. Now I'm back to square one, but the most important thing is for you to love yourself before you get into a relationship or you will end up going into a relationship for a wrong reason. But still be proactive and create opportunities for yourself. My seemingless friendly casual date with a girl turned into a relationship. You can do it too.

Laie_Boy_THP_808 · 2022-01-05T22:40:09+00:00

Bro just focus on getting into a decent college. Everyone EVERYONE gets laid in college.

Billieclide · 2022-01-05T23:07:31+00:00

17 is still really young. Keep ur chin up and keep trying

Yousrn_me · 2022-01-05T23:17:34+00:00

Good on you for attacking this in high school. Figuring out social anxiety becomes more difficult when you're no longer in school and surrounded by an abundance of girls everyday. Best advice I'd give is take your group of close friends and convince them all to go to social gatherings/events/parties as much as possible and use those opportunities to make more friends. Simply having that social proof will definitely help with catching girls' attention. After that it's all about building a connection with girls that you like. Ask them open ended questions and lead the conversation by getting to know them and letting them talk about themselves.

AnthdieSoos · 2022-01-05T23:23:55+00:00

Bam! That's the spirit!

I (19) started authentically approaching girls and women in everyday life around a year ago and f.e. tell them a compliment and introduce myself. Most of them react positively whether single or taken.

I can recommend to try it out by yourself

Interesting-Look-873 · 2022-01-05T23:36:32+00:00

Dude in all fairness I haven’t had one ever and I’m 18 enjoy single life while it lasts cus I see a lot of my mates who got in a relationship not cus they liked a a girl just cus they were feeling left out plus all teenagers aren’t really the best people to date from what I’ve experienced be 1% better every day and if u like some ask them out if they say no except it and move on have some self respect and please don’t beg or or it around someone in the hope they might say yes and be decently picky cus u don’t want to end up in a rocky relationship.

DMNC87 · 2022-01-05T23:45:36+00:00

Focus on your general appearance. Do not fixate on physical flaws or whatever. Just the basic dress well (do research and get feedback), be well groomed (nice haircut) and good posture. This sub doesn’t stress “outergame” a lot but it’s an absolute necessity with the young generation and it’s generally the place of concern for people who haven’t gotten a gf before

Second thing is social skills and attitude. You need to learn how to win over people and make friends. Maintain a positive attitude and be political with people. Do not make problems with people; don’t gossip at all, like at all; don’t fight etc just be friendly and happy/chill and non judge mental. But also be mindful of who you hang out with, don’t hang out with losers or bums or assholes. Your main crew is part of outer game so pick your friends wisely

Another thing is don’t go straight to flirting with women. Try to just be friendly with them and avoid slipping up and saying something flirty. When people say “it just happened”…. It seriously just happens. So don’t think of it like a game per se. You might think this is being a nice guy and you’ll end up friend zoned. Dude if you end up friendzoned Or you’re too nice it’s just girl talk of saying you’re physically unattractive to them. When your appearance is on point you won’t get friendzoned trust me

Lastly if you’re on social media, make sure to have a cool feed. If you have a fun IG with cool/good photos of yourself it helps so much. The place to really be “active” in is your stories. You’ll get attention from there but make sure your IG has a good presentation. One thing though do not be trashy with it. Don’t post like beer pong photos or an ugly plate of Kraft Mac and cheese. Just post photos that your mom would approve of.

Oh and also, a general rule of thumb, women love winners. Do not be a loser toward any degree. Still get great grades and try to get into a very very good college. A friend of mine ended up going to a top 5 university (globally) and he gets so much pussy despite being short ugly boring etc it’s strange

When you have these 4 things in lock. You’ll have so many opportunities presented to you and you’ll feel like you’re “good” with women.

LandscapeClear1630 · 2022-01-06T00:17:03+00:00

That's exactly what you should do.

Remember the most important thing is to have a fun/challenging vibe girls want to engage with.

Have fun and go tiger.

Ineedanswers6789 · 2022-01-06T00:26:40+00:00

23 and never had one🤦🏽‍♂️

Awaken_MR · 2022-01-06T00:45:43+00:00

I was in your exact same place. 17, no girlfriend. Social pressure from everyone, feeling like I was the only virgin in the world.

I ended up developing deep feelings for the first girl I fucked. 4 years of deep pain in a toxic relationship. It may not be your case, but try to love yourself before trying to experience something so deep as a first sexual experience.

Most people say years later that it doesn't matter. It matters, a lot, it can shape your life because you probably will have new feelings and experiences you never had. If I guess you may not be the kind of guy who doesn't give a fuck completely about this, or by now you would probably have just fucked any girl you could without giving it any thought.

Take your time bro, spend more time sharpening your axe instead of trying to cut the tree with a rusty weapon. I know you want to fuck, you want to know how it is, and it's unbearable. But believe me, as funny as it is, the more you try to focus on other things, and accept the idea that YOU ARE ENOUGH AND DESERVE IT, eventually someone you consider worthy will come. Just believe in yourself, because without self-love, after all, your experience may be worthless otherwise.

And if you really can't imagine another way of keep going. Just fuck a prostitute in a place you can not return easily, but not a girl you could develop feelings for, or just keep waiting, knowing that you deserve it and it will eventually come.

Either way, I hope you find the path to peace and a healthy experience. Good luck.

edit: mistakes while writing.

ProfitisAlethia · 2022-01-06T00:49:30+00:00

You're 16 dude. Good on you for having ambition, but don't beat yourself up.

At 16 I thought I had no future and would never have a family, a good job, money, or success with women. Now I have everything I want and that was only 10 years ago.

You're gonna be okay.

WestwardAlien · 2022-01-06T00:56:41+00:00

As a fellow 17 year old. It really is the best to just chill. Better to just focus on school, friends, and college plans. Most high school relationships are a mess anyways and people are way too immature (in my honest opinion). Your opinions are pretty limited too until you do turn 18.

Best advice is to just practice, pick up skills and strategies and just improve yourself so when you do get out of high school you'll be on your A game!

danielguzman497 · 2022-01-06T01:02:21+00:00

My advice fail at it and keep failing until you don’t.

baddog992 · 2022-01-06T01:04:54+00:00

Do things that build up confidence in yourself. Write down what you think might happen at an event and then go do that event. Later on review your notes on the event. My second point is embrace rejection. Your going to get rejected. That's a fact on going out on dates and trying to get dates. Accept it and learn from it if possible. Your not gonna be everyone's cup of tea.

However do not get discouraged by rejection. Its a trap a lot of guys fall into. One girl rejects your offer of a date so you think every girl is going to reject you so why try? The reason why assholes get dates? They could care less. They have the confidence to ask and can brush it off without a care in the world if they get rejected. You dont have to be a dick but confidence goes a long way. Also read books or watch videos anyone suggests. Like Models for an example. Do not overthink things just do them.

didsomebodysaymyname · 2022-01-06T01:13:15+00:00

Dude, good, I didn't have a gf until senior year of high school and I know people who didn't date until college. Then I meant a guy in college who didn't lose his virginity until 23. (He was 25 getting his phd) I just dated a woman who didn't lose it until 25. It's a process.

Like seriously go for it, enjoy dating and sex as soon as you want, but you're fine at 17.

smbdcry2 · 2022-01-06T01:27:44+00:00

I’m 31 now, never had one relationship. I came to realize That’s how cruelty of life it is.

Shushukid1 · 2022-01-06T01:29:32+00:00

as someone who is a senior and going through the same issue, it's definitely annoying. I'm not ugly, I'm confident, etc. but still no girl. I know it's obnoxious to hear but just work on yourself. I know this is also obnoxious to hear but it's all in your head, as soon as you focus on other things it's not as big of an issue as you think it is. Work on yourself, and even if you don't get one for a while or years it's all in your head. be comfortable with yourself and your friends and you won't be as lonely. I want you to listen to this cause I'm going through the same thing and I'm like a year older than you. if u ever wanna talk about this hmu

cormacru999 · 2022-01-06T02:13:38+00:00

I didn't have my first gf until I was almost 17. I'm amazed that you think you are entitled to one before that AND that you think children dating is somehow so amazing that its upsetting you haven't done it yet. Kids that date are filled with drama kid. Grow up, become a person, life spans are long now, why are you in such a rush & why do you think your self worth is dependant on this?

originalgainster · 2022-01-06T02:17:56+00:00

start with saying hi to the people you wanna talk to :)

Physicist_Dinosaur · 2022-01-06T02:45:16+00:00

Yes. Learn game. Everything you find about seduction on the PUA community. Learn everything you can, then UNLEARN what isn't of good use to you (like things not your style, and some manipulative stuff you'll eventually find an learn).

Check this site:

girlschase.com/

I found it like 7 years ago, and almost stopped searching everywhere else. Look for the articles written by Chase, he is the one, the mastermind, and he has a lot of interesting and, I may dare to say, revolutionary stuff going on in his mind.

Also, take into account that the writters there have different takes on morality. I don't like the way of thinking of like... one of them, I guess. Like one or two, I tolerate, and Chase is very fair and ethical. He usually takes the morally right path.

The sites limits you to read like 8 articles a month, and warns you of its count, but I've never paid for it. Perhaps I will when I can afford it, to support the great knowledge they have passed me. But, for now, I read just a few per month, and if I need to get over the limit, I use my phone, tablet, and PC, as they seemingly have individual counts, and even use free VPNs or proxies.

Edit: PMme, if you want. I wish I had someone who taught me 10 years ago everything I know now. I can do that for you.

ItsFreedomTime_5 · 2022-01-06T03:04:10+00:00

I would stop stressing about this immediately. It will serve you no purpose in life and you will spiral downward. You are fine. Focus on yourself. You need to be able to stand on your own two feet before a relationship. Just enjoy life as it comes. Please.

shaggy2gay · 2022-01-06T03:12:39+00:00

This advice is probably going to get downvoted into oblivion. I encourage you to still listen to it.

Are you a virgin? If you are, lose your virginity at the first legal opportunity you have, if you find the person desirable. "The First Time" gets the fairytale treatment, which does more harm than good. The sooner you start having sex, the more comfortable you will be as a sexual person, and the more success you are likely to get with women in the long term. Wanting the first time to be "special" for me meant I waited way too long and passed on a bunch of valuable-for-growth and potentially meaningful experiences.
Skip to the head of the class and learn cold approach pickup. Go talk to girls you've never met (not at your school). I've tried every possible avenue that people recommend for meeting women and there is no better option. If you start early and really apply yourself, and are smart (don't do anything fucked up or weird that could get you in trouble), you will live a life of sexual choice. Look up a guy on youtube named James Marshall. Don't tell anyone about your hobby until they notice the results you're getting and ask you about it, and even then, maybe keep it secret. Everyone in the universe will trip over their own dick to wag their finger at you. But there's no quicker, easier, more repeatable, and disproportionately effective way to meet great women.

MoStuntin · 2022-01-06T03:49:12+00:00

Gym gym gym and watch them come running i believe in you

ChurchofCaboose1 · 2022-01-06T03:52:22+00:00

Lol bruh you're 17. You're barely alive mate haha. It'll happen. If you force you'll end up marrying this first girl to touch you and end up with a high chance of a divorce

boowebaba · 2022-01-06T04:00:40+00:00

Im 22 and I havent dated anyone over 6 years or so. It feels like I have no expertise in this, but lets get it this head on and move ahead positively in 2022. I think making small progress ensuring we gain confidence is the real key to get more friends and leading somewhere with the partner we desire.

NoNameAnonUser · 2022-01-06T04:25:50+00:00

Honestly, you should try to get as many girls as possible BEFORE you get into a serious relationship. When I first met my first (and only) long term girlfriend (now ex) I was 24 years old. It lasted 9 years and I wish I had met more girls before her. I would've been a much more experienced man.

You're still so young. Enjoy your youth!

Prestigious_Pause_45 · 2022-01-06T04:42:48+00:00

Didn't have my first GF until I was 17. Nothing wrong with it man. Now I'm 34. You're fine. norwegiandoggo's advice is pretty good.

Respectfully,

gmilfmoneymilk · 2022-01-06T04:52:06+00:00

Practical advice: 1. Assess why you have never had a girlfriend. Lack of time? Interest? Effort? Something else? 2. Assess what kind of girl you want to date. What are your values? What are your preferences? 3. Assess what you'd like to get out of this relationship. 4. Assess your boundaries. When do you walk away? When do you say no? What are you uncomfortable with?

After you do that, you should take that info and figure out where you'd likely run into the girlfriend you want to meet. Clubs, organizations, sports, and other similar activities that you have an interest in are good place to start.

When you make your assessments and find that girl, it is as important that you like her as it is that she likes you. Most relationships fail due to being one sided. How does she treat you? Do her actions align with her words?

And this is a seduction subreddit, it's purpose is to help men get one night stands, not girlfriends. Totally different thing. Totally different intentions. This place is for fucking and moving on, not falling in love. This may not be the subreddit you were looking for.

r/socialskills may be of better help to you for this particular question.

TempAcc64 · 2022-01-06T06:16:16+00:00

You're 17 chill, get a job and some spending money and you'll get a gf easy. You want dates? Go start asking for them, expect nothing.

excentrik-art · 2022-01-06T07:01:12+00:00

You can waste your time alone or in relationship. Set a goal for YOU, career, sports, in anything. Become best version of yourself, join improv, run, jog, excercise, pick a hobby. Be awesome, have life you love, hobby and a goal and girls will beg you to allow them to be with you

NovaLachs · 2022-01-06T07:06:19+00:00

My advice? Go fuck some fat chicks brah

starneybinsonthegod · 2022-01-06T07:46:30+00:00

Bro I am sorry to say but your life is done;)

No jk i am almost 19 never had a girlfriend (had some fun, but nothing serious) and am so happy with my life as it is. I have achieved so much that wouldn‘t have happened with a girlfriend. Use your time and a girlfriend will come eventually.

ImmediateInitiative4 · 2022-01-06T07:47:09+00:00

I’m almost 23 and I have never had a gf either. Welcome to the club

jeongmidani · 2022-01-06T08:15:15+00:00

I’ve never had a boyfriend in my life. I’m turning 22 in 2 weeks. I will say however, what’s helped me not focus on this lack is to (very cliche) but is to really prioritize yourself first. Focus on being your best self in terms of personality and looks wise. Please trust me when I say that once you are out of high school, your dating pool tremendously widens. I have talked to and “dated” men who I’d never thought I’d even had a chance with. But it all comes down to what you feel like you can offer to a relationship which sounds shitty, but it doesn’t have to be looked at in that way. Any relationships in your life can mostly be seen as transactional (ex. Ranting to your friends in need of some emotional release and perhaps them seeing the interaction as a good way to feel closer to you).

In general, making friends and getting into relationships is all about being true to yourself and having a likable charisma and confidence in your character that makes you magnetic and easy to talk to. It seems overwhelming, but take it one step at a time.

Back to what I was saying first, really try to get to know yourself and what might be some of the issues you might have (not saying you have any, but idk you so I’m just being general) and focusing on things you want to work on and become better at. Read self help books (they have changed my life), watch youtubers that you connect with and make videos about being more charismatic or attractive and blah blah blah.

Tldr; put yourself first, king

Angus_Bangus · 2022-01-06T08:26:10+00:00

keep trying and keep putting yourself out there. I was just like you 2 years ago. I never ended up dating in highschool (i partially blame the pandemic for fucking things up in my junior/senior year but it is what it is). I worked on it and kept putting myself out there with some success and a shit ton of failures (I’d say like 1/20). I didn’t even have my first kiss in highschool. Within a month of being in college I had a girlfriend. Don’t be phased if you never end up finding someone in highschool. Keep trying and see what works. It took me a while to find my groove and hone how I flirt but all it is is trial and error. Don’t be afraid to fuck up. As long as you’re not a creep or a dick about it you’ll be fine. Also the answer to the question “would i date myself” should always be “yes.” if you wouldn’t want to date yourself who would want to date you? Finally as everyone always says, work on yourself too blah blah blah.

Handsome_Claptrap · 2022-01-06T08:29:46+00:00

I don't know how much your masturbate, but i still advice you to reduce how much you jerk off and quit porn altogether.

The issue with porn is that it makes your body used to go straight from a mild arousement to an orgasm in a short time and what's worst, it's that it always happens.

So when you see a girl that you like, if you just get a bit aroused by her, your body goes "well buckle up, we are in for a ride!"... but it doesn't happen. And your body CRAVES that pleasure bomb.

Then your body starts basically acting like a child during a long car trip, asking "ARE WE THERE YET?" every 10 seconds. Your brain knows it will be a long car trip, full of hurdles and it knows that if something stops you, that noisy kid will complain even harder. So you start to fear failure even more than normal and you get stressed out and insecure.

With this, i don't mean you should never masturbate, being overly horny can be detrimental as well: sometimes you just need that post-nut clarity. But it's important you don't turn masturbating into a habit and that you can handle having a hard on, having the chance to get off and resisting the urge.

filipvajdik · 2022-01-06T08:50:41+00:00

If you have social anxiety, you will miss the opportunity even if it came. So yeah work on yourself. I think "it'll happen" is an advice for women, because they attract males with their beauty and they don't have to do anything. You should get attracted and do something. We can't all passively wait until someone starts being active.

boringlecturedude · 2022-01-06T09:53:21+00:00

You'll need this Preparation only. All the best.

H8beingmale · 2022-01-06T10:39:30+00:00

tons of guys go well into their 20s and are still single like this, and yup, the burden of making things happen is one the guys shoulders, and i hate how us guys are supposed to embrace that, because thats like saying we as guys, men, can get results with women literally anytime we want

goatserpent424 · 2022-01-06T11:51:42+00:00

I really want to say”you’re only 16, this is totally normal”, but you want advice, so here it is: try to give less of a shit. Strangely enough, girls are very attracted to guys who just don’t care as much. I don’t mean this sarcastically, just focus yourself on something else and the rest will just happen.

papadregon · 2022-01-06T12:23:01+00:00

fortune favours the brave. stop sulking, chin up, man up, go for it. girls dig up effort. and dont forget to smile when talking.

wear perfume btw

Disturbed_Aidan · 2022-01-06T12:25:18+00:00

Talk to girls regularly. Arrange to hang out with them. Hang out with them. Ask them to be your girlfriend.

Altruistic_Flow_9253 · 2022-01-07T03:56:27+00:00

Bro I ain’t had a girlfriend in 4 years now, learn to enjoy being single. Have fun with women but you don’t need to date. Just live your life man, don’t be so worried about that. There’s many great women to meet out there without even dating. Besides the fact that there’s also a lot of shady dynamics in relationships these days and it might just do you more harm then good

Title	I'm almost 17 and never had a girlfriend. Sick of the "it'll happen eventually" stuff, so I'm going to make it happen.
Author	BallPro101
Upvotes	251
Comments	149
Date	January 5, 2022 3:03 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/rwowkp/im_almost_17_and_never_had_a_girlfriend_sick_of/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/im-almost-17-and-never-had-a-girlfriend-sick-of.1269618 https://theredarchive.com/post/1269618

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