The Best Dating Advice I've Ever Received

willgo-waggins · 2022-02-25T21:56:20+00:00

[permanently deleted]

EmpRupus · 2022-02-25T21:52:18+00:00

Yes. Flirting and seduction is not some puzzle-solving game where if you click the right buttons, the level will unlock.

It is a form of communication and gauging interest and recognizing YES and NO signals.

Here is what I do -

(i) Start with normal conversation and check response - if she is smiling and talking back, then YES. If she ends the conversation abruptly, or says she is waiting for a friend, or takes out her phone, then NO.

(ii) Make light contact - brushing elbows accidentally, leaning in etc. If she freezes up or recoils, then NO. If she also leans in, and touches elbows or hands, then YES - proceed further.

If a woman signals "NO" to you, some funny joke isn't gonna make you suddenly attractive to her. And 90% of the time, you did not make any mistake, she was just not into you.

goldenhunter55 · 2022-02-25T21:30:06+00:00

I heard a quote before "A highly interested girl will give you the blue print to her pussy".

Global-Bridge-6787 · 2022-02-25T21:00:18+00:00

💯. Signed another brown guy who is 5’6” and turned things around in a similar way.

chamberlain323 · 2022-02-26T01:29:16+00:00

The best advice I’ve ever heard falls in line with this. It was, “If they like you, you will know. If they don’t, you will be confused.”

Hearing this made me reflect back on every girlfriend I’ve had and I realized it was true. Each of them expressed interest early on via body language cues and then said yes when I asked them out. No games, no playing hard to get, no delays in texting back. That shit only occurs when she has no romantic interest in you but is too polite to say no, and I was too dumb to take the hint. Guys just fail to intuit that her disinterest is her answer, and she is not going to change her mind. Move on!

SpookyKG · 2022-02-25T22:04:22+00:00

My way of saying this is 'you can't win a girl over text, but you can lose a girl over text.'

RSNK10 · 2022-02-25T22:07:47+00:00

I think this is good advice but you have to realize that a lot of people on here aren’t getting matches on tinder or getting to dates in general. So saying to only focus on girls who are “interested” is only helpful to a degree. There are guys who may struggle with certain aspects of their self esteem/image/personality that may be preventing girls from being interested at all. So you have to take that into consideration before suggesting that the answer is to only look for a certain type of girl.

cronasminate · 2022-02-26T01:10:37+00:00

That's also what I've learned after nearly hundreds of approaches. All my lays were literally from women who showed interest from the first time we've met. I've never even been with a girl who was lukewarm at first. A girl can be excited to meet and talk with you and show "token resistance" but will keep reaching out without any input from your end.

That being said, I've seen guys end up with girls who didn't like them at first and they look absolutely unhappy. The girl is always naggy and complains about everything. It's not worth the effort at all.

fillfee · 2022-02-25T20:44:24+00:00

This deserves more upvotes. So much desperate guys in this thread like bro, there’s 8 billion people in this world and you trippin over 1?! Move on if she playin games cause thats just a sign of disrespect. Shows she wasnt fwu in the first place.

smokeandfog · 2022-02-25T21:35:22+00:00

if she's down, she's down!

Ray2020K · 2022-02-25T21:19:32+00:00

I totally respect this post. Suspect it's an approach to play the numbers game.

2022-02-26T01:09:12+00:00

As a relatively experienced guy when it comes to dates and relationships I'll just add this applies to all NORMAL girls out there. When they like you they like you and they know how to translate that into normal human interaction; when they don't like you they don't and they show that too.

With toxic ones there are exceptions but they eventually aren't worth it anyway.

SDdude81 · 2022-02-26T07:32:15+00:00

So then it all boils down to, "Keep approaching women till you find somebody who likes you. Few women will be interested, keep trying. Don't chase a woman who is not interested."

Honestly that's pretty much the basics of seduction.

Exotic-Ad515 · 2022-02-25T22:56:30+00:00

Yup, I always just say, "hi" as well. If they reply with some bs, like is that the best you can do. I just block them, they sound like high maintenance.

If, hi, is good enough to talk to women in life, it's just as good online.

chillbill1220 · 2022-02-25T23:08:08+00:00

Whenever it starts to feel like I’m chasing a girl a lightbulb automatically goes off in my head that she’s low interest at best and I have to completely back off. Occasionally they’ll get curious and start hitting me up more but 95% of the time I never hear from them again

shaggy2gay · 2022-02-26T06:52:22+00:00

You're just selecting for the easiest wins. It's like telling guys to only go fishing with their biggest, loudest lure and then saying "If they're gonna bite, they're gonna bite." Yes, you will periodically catch fish and then apparently leap to the conclusion that it's not helpful to carry multiple kinds of lures to match different fish and fishing conditions.

biokaizen · 2022-02-25T21:13:12+00:00

Sometimes we dont know what to say, nothing is flowing and even we leave the interaction, so a routine can be effective.

A lot of girls are not going to reply to an average quiz. Anyway average quiz "how are you, what do you do, what are your hobbies" are other routines.

Is very easy to think in a girl who are very very interested in you for whatever reason and say "seduction science are shit because I know a easy girl with which all works"

willgo-waggins · 2022-02-26T01:44:05+00:00

Honestly this is one of the best posts I have seen in this sub.

And it’s also what I keep trying to get across to guys.

Stop whining and bitching and acting like some quivering little rabbit with the wolf bearing down on you. Just act like you would with anyone and shit or get off the pot as my dad always used to say.

Odins-child · 2022-02-26T02:36:45+00:00

First off, bad ass user name. Second, well said OP. A lot of women now insist on that hard to get bullshit and personally i don’’t like it. If your a guy don’t put up with this bullshit, and don’t put up with it if your a woman. but OP nailed it, be yourselves boys, don’t posture or puff yourselves up because only insecure men and women posture and puff themselves up.

rivetcitymayor · 2022-02-26T14:43:17+00:00

Dating isn’t hard, you just wasting time on women who don’t like you

loofyd · 2022-02-25T22:58:35+00:00

I am a decent-looking short brown guy

Underrated !

more people need to be upfront like this man right here !

thanks bro !

TerminatorReborn · 2022-02-25T22:06:29+00:00

The boom of pick up artists that made desperate men think you can sleep with a women even if she is not interested in you if you say X or touch her in Y.

Big surprise here for people that still don't know: Women are human beings just like you, not magic creatures with weakness like a dark souls boss.

FakeSafeWord · 2022-02-25T21:55:05+00:00

"if you ask someone else how to get her out on a date you've already lost"

lirik89 · 2022-02-26T10:47:07+00:00

I agree with this. You can match with 1000 chicks or meet another 1000. And if she's actually ready as person it'll be effortless. If she's playing games, if she's ghosting. It has almost nothing to do with you. It's because she's not ready. When I say she's not ready, I mean she's truly not ready. She may say to herself she wants to date, she may say she wants to meet people, but inside she's scared, she's not ready, she's immature. There are a million reasons.

biokaizen · 2022-02-26T11:22:16+00:00

You can use routines without becoming obsessed and let normal conversation flow when necessary. You pose a false dichotomy

There are girls interested in you which don´t put too much effort in conversation. You only are highlighting what you want. Actually most of the girls interested in average guys dont put too much effort.

The only problem is how to calibrate.

SaigonNoseBiter · 2022-02-26T16:36:08+00:00

This is a variation of what I have discovered in my own experience: just dont be weird. All those pick up things are being weird. Just talk to girls like you would with any other person. If they like you, you just need to not fuck it up. Its not that hard, but 95% of guys are just so cringe when they talk to girls.

ZepperV2 · 2022-02-26T03:03:55+00:00

fr this was especially the case with my 1st gf. I made a bunch of simp moves, mistakes that are big no nos for PUA and whatnot. She's still down after all the cringy shit that I've done.

ld20r · 2022-02-26T10:02:34+00:00

The key word in your text is “Latina”. Exotic and foreign women are much more open and human in general than most and that is the truth.

But I do agree that dating shouldn’t be work and that you shouldn’t have to play games for somebody to be into you.

fetishfairygodmother · 2022-02-26T20:04:59+00:00

If I may add my 3 cents ...

When contacting a girl from an online app... First text should be more than just Hi. Keep it simple comment on something from her profile. Be polite. Ask how she likes to communicate, by text, email, or phone call ? Then ask when she is available to have a conversation. Keep the conversation moving towards an offline meet up. It's been studied and taking online to offline within 7 days for a face to face meetup is ideal. Any longer and the interest started fading or perception starts building that usually doesn't match when you meet on person. If you have pics that are recent and a filled out profile there shouldn't be a surprise when you meet. People who are afraid to meet on person have something to hide. Don't send sexy or dick pics, without first meeting. Even then ask before sending. OP is right, you don't need cheezy gimmicks. If she is interested she'll reply.

JMemptyspace · 2022-02-26T01:55:46+00:00

i believe the ratio to an extent will reflect where you stand as a person of value to outsiders. in my experience there's extremely decent and high value girls out there who are really tight and need some pushing, but obviously not everybody is up to that task. regardless, the trick is like you say not to spend too much energy on figuring them out, it's most likely not worth it. dating should be overall fun, and the less you attach your personal value to your pulling ability it'll be just that to you, a fun to play game. that's an attractive mindset to women.

yeahthatslifedarling · 2022-02-26T07:59:51+00:00

Yeah fuck your advice.

Plenty of time, I had a girl hyped and interested to know me and made it easy, and I fucked it up so there is real ways that you can improve as a person.

I'll give you the benefit that the reverse is true, if she's not into you, there's not much to do about it. If she's into you but if she dislikes you about something you did, or something her friends said you did, I have not seen a healthy come back from that. Girls so ruthless and unforgiving it's crazy. They'll label you, box you, use you. (if you're not who they want, because if you're who they want they'll do what you want, drool in the floor, play the good girl) Isn't there a quote somewhere that says your value is how you treat people who can do nothing for you, a lot of people show that, they'll treat you like dirt if they don't need you

zertsetzung · 2022-02-26T09:54:14+00:00

Not me. I still read girlschase religiously.

This is good advice if you are someone who is in the stage where they need to just focus on learning how to close with the girl. But in all honesty once you get past that hurdle, yes some gaming on the chick may be necessary.

What if she's interested but acting like she isnt? What if she isnt interested, but acting like she is because maybe she feels that by engaging you, you will lead her to hotter men or all the good parties or so on and so forth.

My point is, the whole if she's interested she's interested and not not is black and white thinking in a skillset (seduction of women) which is a very grey area.

It has its place, yes. Black and white thinking is great for breaking analysis paralysis in men who are new to game, and or helping those who are not so great at reading women to avoid wasting time.

But beyond that, seducers need to take a more persistence approach (that is socially calibrated of course); So that (as another redditor put it) those "no's" or "maybe's" can be turned into yes's.

lockkheart · 2022-02-26T04:39:48+00:00

OP, post this in r/dating_advice as well

Practising_Stoic · 2022-02-26T11:30:14+00:00

Couldn't agree more

Mriconicdev · 2022-02-26T11:39:35+00:00

All facts man

Web-splorer · 2022-02-26T13:07:18+00:00

That’s a lot of words to just say, she’s either into you or not. Lol.

CigarFrog · 2022-02-26T18:48:10+00:00

It's actually more like in Sales. You have your Yes and No(s) but there is a significant part of the no(s) that are actually Maybe(s). All that PUA materials and advice on here is for those cases. - ZenMachine

Phrase_Turner · 2022-02-26T20:18:38+00:00

I want to say as a woman who dates men: we have to learn this too. Almost everyone has been caught up in trying to decode signals and get with someone who simply isn’t interested. Whenever I’m interested in someone who’s interest I am unsure about, I perform what I call the Dorothy Parker Ultimatum, using her poem that brilliantly describes this phenomenon, I determine if “they do or they don’t”

“Ultimatum” by Dorthy Parker

I'm wearied of wearying love, my friend, Of worry and strain and doubt; Before we begin, let us view the end, And maybe I'll do without. There's never the pang that was worth the tear, And toss in the night I won't- So either you do or you don't, my dear, Either you do or you don't!

The table is ready, so lay your cards And if they should augur pain, I'll tender you ever my kind regards And run for the fastest train. I haven't the will to be spent and sad; My heart's to be gay and true- Then either you don't or you do, my lad, Either you don't or you do!

Poem with correct formatting

kurtcobain911 · 2022-03-03T02:44:19+00:00

It's crazy how simple this is. I feel something that gets in the way of making it easy for yourself is the whole "It was easy with my ex and those other girls because I was just lucky", so we put all this pressure on ourselves (or at least I do) when it's not working out with a girl. Even now, I'm recently out of a relationship and, even though I got my ex with ZERO effort, I still feel as if I'm in for a world of pain to talk to other girls because I have this weird sense that it's supposed to be hard to get laid so I get hung on up on the fear and the failure. It's like I NEED it to be difficult in order for it to be real. Do you have any idea how to snap out of this mentality once it creeps up? Or should I just start messaging/approaching without feeling the need to watch a PUA video in-between interactions?

BerkshireWizard · 2022-03-10T04:28:21+00:00

This advice is 100% correct, especially for online dating. Just send 2 messages. 1st is introduction, compliment, and say you would like to chat further. 2nd is asking her out and asking for her number. Attraction is not a choice, if she is in she is in, if she is out she is out. You guys matched for a reason, so you know if she is wasting your time by her response if she wants attention or down to meet up. All you can do by talking is talk your way out of a date. 😃

LilBleeder · 2022-03-12T17:38:30+00:00

Definitely. PUA is a scam.

BV_Matters · 2022-07-13T15:35:25+00:00

The best dating advice I've ever received "If she's down, she's down. Otherwise, she's not"

this is not the best advice you ever received. Persistence wins a lot. Women have their moods change a lot.

PUA has morphed into such a weak state. sad.

StaticNocturne · 2022-02-26T02:54:22+00:00

But you need to build that interest.

Sometime you need to put in a fair amount of effort to actually differentiate yourself from the pack and prove that you're someone worth getting to know.

Especially if you're going with online dating - why would a girl be THAT into you just based on a few pictures of you and some cheesy bio?

Shintaigou · 2022-02-26T08:01:09+00:00

“Don’t lie to her, just be honest because she will lie to herself about you” A woman knows when a man is lying, but if he’s honest about his bullshit, she will accept that and move on knowing she loves him.

MeteoraRed · 2022-02-26T10:16:28+00:00

It's pretty valid however, things are not that simple, pretty ladies have lots of options in dating apps and things going on, to capture their attention you have to play the game to check the polarity ->Fuck yes r damn no, the game allows it to do it in a faster efficient way.

A7Xnikko · 2022-02-27T04:00:09+00:00

I can not believe you wasted time on this person posting this. Shes not worth it, move on plenty of better options out there!

FormingStar · 2022-02-26T07:02:15+00:00

Also lower your standards a little bit, generally woman date up while men date down. If you're at the same level in the scale of attractiveness, then she most likely thinks that she deserves better. This is how it is currently.

rockstargainz · 2022-03-14T16:21:19+00:00

While i agree, this sub is called seduction, literally any brain dead monkey can pick up a girl that wants him.

The real game is seducing a sexy chick whos not even interested

lordprettytaco · 2022-02-25T22:03:43+00:00

Via the book Models, “it’s either fuck yes or no”

krispykreme01 · 2022-02-25T22:20:48+00:00

I gotta change my oil soon smh.

ymoushkz · 2022-02-25T22:51:02+00:00

How short are you exactly?

its_whot_it_is · 2022-02-26T03:56:40+00:00

I read dancing advice and started reading, then I realized I should re-read the title

its_shawn9 · 2022-02-26T05:53:47+00:00

!remind me 2 days

jjboy91 · 2022-02-26T06:02:06+00:00

Now how attractive are you ?

DaJosuave · 2022-02-26T06:19:15+00:00

The thing is, most guys on here always get those responses....they would never get a greenlight.....so they have yo try something else.

decred_sia · 2022-02-26T06:49:24+00:00

It iz wut it izzzz

zhateme · 2022-02-26T14:05:13+00:00

What’s some signals to look out for if she’s interested?

Like talking or body language?

DR01D2774 · 2022-03-05T06:36:21+00:00

‘ = foot/feet “ = inch/inches ‘Not a 6” athlete…’ Nor are you an action figure. Men seem to get this wrong consistently, please guys, try not to embarrass us as a whole🙏

Simonzez0 · 2022-03-07T12:26:11+00:00

Excellent observation, I have been doing the same thing for a while because I got bored of looking for girls puzzling over what to say or do to attract attention. I can say that you live more peacefully. even if there is always a bit of anxiety in knowing and trying with girls, not everyone is intrepid and courageous in taking the first step 😂

CryptowTheLine · 2022-03-08T21:39:50+00:00

The issue with this logic while mostly correct is that it doesn’t account for shit tests or the basic concept that if she puts up resistance she is invested in some capacity.

I’m not saying to go force a square peg through a round hole or to overstay your welcome or be creepy, I’m saying that a girl who is truly uninterested will not even acknowledge you.

In business this is often used in the concept called getting the first no, where people need to feel agency before you can arrive at at a deal. Getting the no out of the way first is important.

This is obviously a higher level understanding, the quick and dirty way is to play a numbers game an not give any fucks about anyone who doesn’t respond immediately positively, but the next level is being comfortable enough in your frame that you can make it through shit tests in life, business and seduction.

Aliresaa · 2022-03-10T06:36:02+00:00

Guys, what do y’all think about the location? I’m a 24 years old 6’1 athletic Middle Eastern Hispanic guy. I’m also an Engineer and social media influencer .I’m pretty confident and outgoing. I could easily get a random girl number on bars or park by walking up to them and make them laugh. I live in Charlotte, NC and surrounded by white yuppie skinny girls from Ohio, Kentucky, Alabama, South Carolina and these kinds states. I see them at the gym, dating apps, bars, parks, and etc. Tbh, I haven’t had a good experience in dating and getting female attention here. I don’t wanna project everything but racism but I could feel it. Any guidance would be appreciated

PurpleEnjoyer · 2022-03-11T14:37:45+00:00

exactly, tbh this sub is very redundant and most people just want that dopamine while reading and "learning tricks" and "hidden secrets". Dating is not a puzzle.

Pleasant_Voice5468 · 2022-03-13T16:04:07+00:00

So basically it took you this long to figure out the 1st and most obvious things ever?

Alphachadbeard · 2022-09-21T08:55:24+00:00

Eh nah....this is wrong my g sorry I appreciate you're enlightened now but that's not the point of the subreddit

Title	The Best Dating Advice I've Ever Received
Author	the-sensual-beast
Upvotes	1371
Comments	149
Date	February 25, 2022 7:58 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/t1cxou/the_best_dating_advice_ive_ever_received/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/the-best-dating-advice-ive-ever-received.1265910 https://theredarchive.com/post/1265910

Comments

truth