Why do girls do this?

27spacecow · 2022-07-01T12:34:47+00:00

women will often give you their number with no intention of texting you because it’s easier to ignore a text then reject you in person.

These-Calligrapher · 2022-07-01T12:19:26+00:00

Talk to more girls. Don’t stress over it. Also don’t build your night around them. I like to just invite them to tag along on my night. It’s like I’m already going out and I’m gonna meet more people. Even if I’m going out alone, I’ll still go and game and invite women out who I’ve met before. If they show up cool, if not oh well. I’m busy having fun and meeting more people

Gunic0rn · 2022-07-01T12:23:35+00:00

I wouldn’t say this is normal but definitely may happen. Nowadays it’s very common for a person to quickly lose interest and we can only cope with this, it could have happened the other way around.

It’s definitely better to approach, risk and take an L eventually rather than being too scared of the outcome and doing nothing.

sussykeke · 2022-07-01T12:33:53+00:00

Girls are often afraid to reject a guy to his face (with good reason) and that's why they sometimes give a fake number or flake after giving theirs. Just consider this as a "no thank you, I'm not interested" from the girl in a weird, kind of asocial way.

CompetitionFair7686 · 2022-07-01T13:00:49+00:00

Because cold approach isn’t about getting their number in less than 2 minutes and then walking away. Doing that will get girls to flake even if they give you their number.

they give the number because they know that’s all you want and it’s an easy way to get rid of you without confrontation, then they just ignore you or block you.

Cold approach therefore isn’t about getting a number as soon as possible. It’s about connecting, spending 5-10 minutes talking with her, playing, and seeing if there is chemistry then suggest plans.

putcoolusernamehere · 2022-07-01T13:43:52+00:00

Women, especially ones who are in environments where rejecting you could get really awkward for them (such as their job), will often just give the number rather than reject you. If you can’t accept this, and throw a fit every time it happens to you, you’re probably not cut out for the emotional swings of daygame.

ChaotixEDM · 2022-07-01T14:31:57+00:00

Because women put on the spot like that will rarely straight up say no they’re not feeling you. They don’t want to reject you to your face and honestly, I get it. Some loser guys become enraged when rejected.

My ex use to tell me she had to give ppl fake numbers because she felt scared when guys pressed her for her digits when she was single.

BlueberryObvious · 2022-07-01T12:45:39+00:00

Women are physically weaker than men so they just give their number with no intention of replying. They would rather that than say no to your face and potentially threaten their own safety. That’s the way it is. Move on.

iclap2fap · 2022-07-01T13:49:54+00:00

Lol ur only 20 years old bud, take a chill pill plenty of fish in the sea.

bloontsmooker · 2022-07-01T15:09:35+00:00

I’m going to be real, if someone comes up to me and asks me out, my brain totally freezes. I don’t really know how to respond and I just nervously spit out “sure man.” By that point it’s too late for me to say, “just kidding I’m very socially awkward and consistently fail at communicating in the moment, I have no interest in going out with you.”

So then I end up giving him my number and probably not responding if he texts me.

I definitely need to learn to grow in being able to speak up for myself, but I’m getting better. I mean no harm by being unable to be honest in such an awkward situation, but I feel like a total dick now imagining all the guys I’ve let down.

This is why I think cold approaching is more an exercise than it is a means to an end. Pretty sure you’re going to get ghosted 95% of the time. You also don’t know what’s going on in her life. She may have gotten home and found out her dog died bro, don’t take it personally.

CocoBabeNYC · 2022-07-01T14:20:13+00:00

Women have been raised to be people pleasers and as such they try their darnest to never dissappoint people to their face. It is preferable that they act nice and just ghost you when they won't have to face your disappointment.

nevertextgoodnight · 2022-07-01T13:43:55+00:00

Set the date in person

100% chance this girl would've flaked when you asked her when she's free and then you don't even have to waste your time texting and waiting

But at the same time, never lose your cool in a situation like this because I had a girl once reject my offer, then she in turn asked me out like a month later. This is a rare situation but it taught me to "always leave the door open" because you never know after you show interest if a girl will circle back around to you despite initial rejection

This is not to say you spend your days picking petals off a flower over a certain girl. Just simply leave your invitations always open and move along

RoseNoire12 · 2022-07-01T14:25:45+00:00

You come off as desperate and needy for a relationship, and I can’t help but assume you do irl too and she didn’t vibe with your intensity over a casual situation. Deleting someone’s number after only 24 hours? Lost your patience? You need to simmer down. You’re young as fuck still, and there are many women out there. Also, your self worth does not depend on who messages you back. You will never be everyone’s cup of tea.

nelsne · 2022-07-01T14:47:10+00:00

Something could have come up. Don't burn up her phone or it would come off as creepy or desperate. It's a major turn off for a lot of women.
A lot of guys just won't stop hitting on a girl until she gives him her number. So a lot of times they'll give you their number just to get you off their backs. That also may be the reason why she ghosted you

Spazzly0ne · 2022-07-01T15:30:53+00:00

Its kinda a soft rule to leave women who are working alone. They are working, not socializing. And most people don't want to date co-workers.

GimmeAllDaWorld · 2022-07-01T16:35:55+00:00

It was only 24 hours? Dude you weren't ghosted. Even I sometimes take 3 days to respond to my closest friends. Some people really are busy 🤷🏾

innergamedude · 2022-07-01T14:53:29+00:00

Fucking YEARS of gaming and one of the lessons I'd give you is: randos are UNBELIEVABLY flaky, basically as much as dating app girls. Don't sweat it. It's nothing you did or didn't do; she's just got things going on that are more interesting to her than some random dude she can't guarantee would be an enjoyable experience.

Also, yes, women in our culture have been definitely trained to politely deceive a guy, rather than risk the obnoxious argument that comes from openly telling them, "I'm not interested".

Save your energy, hopes, and motivations for women that will at least put in the 10% of the effort required to text you and meet up with you. Interested women will make it EASY for you to chase them, so fucking easy that you might have been so entrained by rejection to not even trust it. Maybe you're thinking, "But, I'm an unattractive chump! Women have never made it easy for me. I have to use tricks to get any interest!" Trust me, the older I've gotten and fewer shits I've given, the more women just randomly have become attracted to me for no fucking reason, for no special tricks. It's not all that often, but often enough. I'm 5'3" and some women will just randomly like my energy, which I'd also internalized as being annoying and needy. PLEASE do not hold your self-confidence hostage to some random-ass women whose type you weren't anyway.

peduxe · 2022-07-01T15:13:52+00:00

I adopted the stance that I will not really care much about the girl until it’s reciprocated and you should too. If the girl is into you it will be clearly shown.

Move on and don’t beat yourself over it. Flakes will still happen when the girl is the first to show interest.

This is a matter of having many options and one or some of them taking that next step.

Least-Recording-2073 · 2022-07-01T16:48:26+00:00

I feel your pain bro! I asked a girl on her last day at work for her number; this was someone who I was very interested in and so was she in me; or so I thought.

Anyway, I remember texting her at least once a week about meeting up; just to give her time and not come off needy, and i remember she was responding every time. She said she was down, but didn't know when due to her having tests for school, so each time I was like "Cool, just let me know." After the third week of texting her, I didnt get a response. So, I figured "Maybe, I should just call her." So, one night around 8pm, I called maybe three times and left one voicemail. No response. It had been about a week since then and no reply from her. So, I deleted her number and assumed she wasn't interested.

It did hurt a lot, but I think the lesson I took from this was to always be proud that you tried. Anything could've happened, but If you can tell yourself you gave her time and put effort in to reach out and got no response, then delete her number and move on. Wish the best for them and forget them.

pretty_dead_grrl · 2022-07-01T17:16:11+00:00

First of all, a cold approach is weird. If you have no rapport with her, why would think she’d want to spend time with you on a date. She’s a coworker. Second, some ppl are busy. Or maybe she gave you a wrong number because she didn’t want to say no outright?

I think a lot of guys don’t realize the manner in which you approach a woman you’ve never spoken to is almost always a threat.

Also, if you live in the states, you have to understand the political climate has taken a huge emotional toll on a lot of us and she might have just taken an easy out. Regardless, a cold approach involves no effort and that says a whole lot.

epimpstyle · 2022-07-01T14:06:16+00:00

Deleting her number after a day because she hasn't texted you back... is a sign of weakness because you are acting emotionally.

What if her dog is sick? What if she has an emergency? You are not the single guy on her phone, maybe you still have to wait a day until she will see your message... anyways, you will never know the reason... it is easier to say that is her fault :-)

echan00 · 2022-07-01T12:59:49+00:00

maybe its a fake number

montanalombardy · 2022-07-01T14:01:45+00:00

Cause she does not like you.

Women will often give out their number because it's easy to ignore or block guys. Easier than rejecting them when they ask.

Evening-Cry9330 · 2022-07-01T15:34:11+00:00

Welcome to the world of dating. Toughen up. Don’t let it make you cold

Flesh_Pillow5 · 2022-07-01T15:35:50+00:00

Why are you approaching women in your workplace? Is your job worth losing or not? Never fish off the company pier.

Boomslangalang · 2022-07-01T15:41:09+00:00

You deleted her number after 24 hrs, that’s silly

jamminamon · 2022-07-01T15:20:14+00:00

You need to build more of a connection for her to WANT to text you.

You cold approaching her and asking for her number is not giving her really any interaction. Think about first impressions. Why would she want to text you? Were you funny? Have a good conversation? Similarly interests?

Fluffy_Risk9955 · 2022-07-01T15:14:52+00:00

Don’t chase girls. Chase excellence.

azjon333 · 2022-07-01T13:15:50+00:00

adhdaniel · 2022-07-01T15:25:47+00:00

There are girls who like attention and the feeling of being chased. If she doesn't respond just move on

thebigfishstick17 · 2022-07-01T15:30:22+00:00

Well this one did you a favor. Imagine you take her out for drinks and you spend your hard earned money on her then she Ghosts you after. You have to have an abundance mindset. It’s apart of being a man. Dust yourself off and get back out there. There’s a new beautiful girl turning 21 everyday! Pat yourself on the back that you cold approached and practiced your social skills.

jamminamon · 2022-07-01T17:23:50+00:00

Another tip would be to offer your number instead of asking for her's.

"Can I give you my number and you text me later? We can catch up on our conversation and maybe we can go grab a coffee or drink?"

This takes the pressure off of her to give you her number and leaves the ball in her court if she wants to get back with you. Also sets up the invite for later and that you don't have to initiate the next interaction.

Joy_Boy96 · 2022-07-01T13:55:17+00:00

Get out of America, apparently guys are doing better in other countries compared to the west.

Ambitious-Ice2357 · 2022-07-01T14:33:53+00:00

She had a chance to think about it and she decided no. Happens a lot.

AXLE_BLACKWELL · 2022-07-01T14:41:16+00:00

Maybe she was in a car accident or something. Perhaps she lost her phone. She could’ve OD’d on hydrocodone and is recovering in a hospital.

ittybittyme4u85 · 2022-07-01T15:59:54+00:00

Never get your honey where you make your money. This is a great rule to go by. It complicates things and may cause you or the girl to lose the job. Also can ruin a relationship all together. But to answer your question, she is either not interested in you that way and panicked when you cold approached her. Also after you ask a girl out we try to find out everything we can about that person. So she may have found out some unsavory things about you that turned her off and does not feel comfortable letting you know.

lovelyleah · 2022-07-01T16:27:00+00:00

Wait a week, then invite her out again. The key is to be aloof, and not be needy. After three weeks of she hasn't replied, she's not interested. The pressure of rejecting someone is a real thing. It could be that she's in the fence or really busy. Just be patient and aloof.

_stmt · 2022-07-01T16:40:34+00:00

You are not wrong. The first text and she leaves you on read. Like the opening text.

Unreasonableguy · 2022-07-01T16:54:49+00:00

That sucks. I have been there. Doesn't get any better. I hope that I get used to rejection more so that I don't fear approaching woman that much anymore.

ArjunVermaReddit · 2022-07-01T17:03:42+00:00

Patience is important. Also give her a call. Takes more balls, moves you to the front of the line and puts a little more pressure on her to not entertain the counter thought

Fryhtan69 · 2022-07-01T17:16:01+00:00

This is why cold approaching doesn't work a lot and why a lot of guys don't make the first move anymore. Why make a move when the odds of getting ghosted are more realistic than the infinitesimal chance you don't?

I think this is why guys also don't say more than "Hi" or "Hello" on OLD apps. I've sent countless personal messages even when their profile said "If you only say "hi" or "hello" don't expect a response" and still never get a response 99% of the time.

SuperSoakerGuyx · 2022-07-01T17:18:15+00:00

This is a real thing I have gotten fake numbers too!

grindforthegold · 2022-07-01T17:20:24+00:00

why cold approach at work? why not just warm approach, ask some questions about the building introduce yourself etc

Kokadison · 2022-07-01T17:22:15+00:00

Also, not saying this is definitely what you did but are you SURE she was also interested in you? Or did you just go “wow this girls pretty I’m going to ask for her number”. If a dude came up and asked for my number without ever talking to him, I give him a fake number because women have literally been killed for rejecting men. She could’ve possibly not felt comfortable enough to go on a date or whatever and tbf I don’t know the entire situation so maybe she did seem interested but I’m willing to bet she probably just gave you her number so you would leave her alone at work.

I wouldn’t ask for a coworkers number unless you’re 1000% sure that they’re also interested in you, otherwise you risk them doing something like this or reporting you to higher ups.

waresmarufy · 2022-07-01T17:25:30+00:00

At least you got a number bro that's half the battle and most won't attempt it.

Joy_Boy96 · 2022-07-01T17:43:51+00:00

Your in a place where your not wanted and it’s affecting your self esteem, go to where your wanted and I promise you that things will get better, you will feel happier overall.

knueverl17 · 2022-07-01T17:45:02+00:00

I mean this respectfully, but I think if you’re so upset that you have to delete her number and post about it, you’re caring far too much and it may make you sound desperate. If girls are going to be flakey, let them be flakey, don’t let it bring you down, king.

Competitive-Cuddling · 2022-07-01T17:49:50+00:00

Look at this way.

You’re sudden approach… is on par with a random salesperson trying to sell you a Bible or Timeshare while you’re trying to watch your favorite show or game, and have 5 salespeople a day pitch you.

At the bare minimum, unless you take even 5 minutes (within a semi appropriate context) to start and maintain a halfway stimulating conversation for her, you’re just bugging the shit out of her, and putting her in the awkward position of telling you to fuck off without hurting your feelings.

Think_History_5682 · 2022-07-01T17:53:36+00:00

How much and what exactly did you text her? Women are really skittish and flighty, if you send her with tons of texts, pictures memes or gifs , they get an anxiety attack.. I kind of would too.

You deleted her number after one day?

PmMeYourNiceBehind · 2022-07-01T18:38:03+00:00

Well the more you ask girls out, the higher chance you’ll get one to text back and actually go out with. Don’t let it get to you

Title	Why do girls do this?
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	119
Comments	168
Date	July 1, 2022 12:12 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/vozcyv/why_do_girls_do_this/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/why-do-girls-do-this.1255583 https://theredarchive.com/post/1255583

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