So which is it?

Alive-Kaleidoscope63 · 2023-08-28T15:18:53+00:00

Recently I found out my gf has fucked half of our friend group. I don't know how else to put it, but it makes me uncomfortable. I think partly because I feel like the butt end of a joke being the last to know. Partly because I now know that half the guys I hang out with have had their dick sucked by her.

What it really comes down to for me is devaluation of intimacy. I think people, none of this men vs women shit, want to feel special in intimacy. It's like right there in the word almost. So when sex is given away by anyone as something about as important as like going to the grocery store or something, like it just means nothing anymore. The intimacy I thought I had, that specialness, isn't really there. Because we'll, she had sex with all these other guys, and half of them apparently she wasn't even really attracted to. It's not like she had special sex with all of them, it was just for shits? How am I suppose to feel special here?

RonMexico432 · 2023-08-28T15:34:35+00:00

I always thought it silly that teen boys are slaves to their carnal desires, looking for a girl slooty enough to touch their wiener. Then they hit their mid-20s, decide they want a relationship, and suddenly they want young virgins. But, they're still slaves to their carnal desires at the same time. Happily taking home warthogs from the bar. It's backwards.

SlowEffective8146 · 2023-08-28T13:24:03+00:00

Sluts are good for practice but that's about it

sexualdeskfan · 2023-08-28T04:04:16+00:00

How does this idiotic question keep coming up?

Men want to fuck women. Men don’t want to marry a woman who has fucked everyone else. The end.

TopNYJeweler · 2023-08-28T15:36:45+00:00

Because for women the talent is not having sex.

For men the talent is having sex, as it is hard to get for them.

George69143 · 2023-08-28T04:36:37+00:00

Bc they don’t sleep with us. I don’t even get this question, whores already exist they still just want the top men.

XpHAHAman · 2023-08-28T08:47:38+00:00

The red pill belief is that when women are promiscuous they aren’t promiscuous with the majority of men. They go for the top% of men, and usually able to pull out of their league. This results in women’s standards being increased because they believe the guys they can sleep with also would want a relationship with them. But this isn’t the case. The result of this is the average guys are left with about the same amount of sex as before but with partners that are worse.

obviousredflag · 2023-08-28T11:01:45+00:00

There are multiple things to answer here:

Why are woman ashamed? Hundreds of years of western culture that put an emphasis of not sleeping with many men for various reasons. It still has an impact. Restricting sexuality is often thought of mainly being a thing men exerted over women, but it is the opposite. "slut shaming" is a female on female tool to restrict undercutting each other with availability of sex while competing over the highest value mates. It's like a cartel system where prices are fixed so everyone gets most of what they want.

Wouldn't those women who aren't as picky with who they have sex with be a goldmine for a lot of you guys? They are picky. There is an endless sea of available dicks. No matter how many sex partners a woman wants to have, she can always reach for the top shelf. So the men who have enough sex now would get more and the "you guys" here would still get barely anything.

I’d assume a lot of you would appreciate the service of these so called “whores” or girls that are “ran through” but instead you bash them more than any other group of people.

Of course they would appreciate having sex with women who have lots of sexual partners on average. They bash those women because they are not getting any sex from them while other men do. Men who have lots of casual sex don't bash promiscuous women. They are made responsible for the suffering those men go through. They hand out free sex for everyone, except for this group of men. They feel discriminated against, because they are discriminate against. That provokes a defensive and lashing back reaction. And because those men know about the slut shaming women do to each other, they know that this is the best way to hurt a woman. It's not about getting from women what they want, it's pure striking back with the measure that hurts most.

Most unattractive men will never have lots of casual sex, while still being evolutionarily programmed to want that, strive for that, and feel REALLY awesome for achieving it. It's brutal, just like nature is. There is no way or arguing for women to have sex with them for social justice reasons. There is no outlawing discrimiation in choosing sexual partners. It's a lost cause and it must feel absolutely horrible to deal with the reality of never being able to get what you want, while seeing other men swim in casual sex for nothing else than having had a better genetic and social start in life.

InjectAdrenochrome · 2023-08-28T03:51:08+00:00

They like bashing them in the streets but smashing them in the sheets.

Wide-Illustrator2906 · 2023-08-28T04:12:41+00:00

Because those two things do not correlate. If you woke up tomorrow and 90% of women were promiscuous, they would still still only sleep with the men they find physically attractive, which wouldn't be most guys. Even now, promiscuous women are very selective in who they sleep with( especially casually). So men championing or shaming promiscuous women really has no effect on the sexual choices of promiscuous women.

babazuki · 2023-08-28T08:36:09+00:00

These women you're describing are trying to use sex to get relationships. Men often think they can just do boyfriend type things to get sex. Both are making the same mistakes.

Just like a man cannot just take a woman on a fancy date and give her compliments and gifts and then expect sex, women cannot just offer sex to any guy and expect them to take her seriously.

Women don't respect simps the same way men don't respect whores. They'll take what the other is offering, but they're not going to respect or value what they got for free. And the person that freely gives away what is most valuable about them seems desperate and kind of pathetic.

Teflon08191 · 2023-08-28T06:01:33+00:00

Btw I’m not asking this sarcastically

Hmm, I'll take your word for it for now...

Anyway, the answer to your question is simple. Men like to have sex with promiscuous women, but they don't like to marry them. The men bashing promiscuous women are the ones who want more than just sex, and who lament the fact that there are fewer marriageable women now than perhaps ever before at least as far as they're concerned.

Educational_Ad4410 · 2023-08-28T16:12:12+00:00

You can’t compute that dudes might sleep with a hoe and enjoy the service but not wife the hoe? Is that like rocket science to you? I guess men and women are different when it comes to this issue. If I can explain it in women terms it’s an “ick”, most guys don’t want they wife to be a whore.

Durmyyyy · 2023-08-28T20:45:31+00:00

I dont think you can say there is anything morally wrong about it.

Anecdotally I will say the people I have known that have been promiscuous (men and women) have also been way more likely to be cheaters and to show a pattern of cheating.

That said a lot of men just want a relationship with a person he loves and a family and not just "the service" of these woman like you kinda grossly said in OP.

wtknight · 2023-08-28T23:23:10+00:00

Men like promiscuous women. Many just don't want relationships with them.

Nellylocheadbean · 2023-08-28T23:38:28+00:00

Because a lot of men want to be able to have their cake and eat it too. The same thing they complain about women wanting. The only difference is women are more successful at that game and that brings jealousy.

AidsVictim · 2023-08-28T08:16:00+00:00

Prostitutes would be much more popular if it was simply a question of men wanting and getting sex period. The large majority of men want to have sex with women either in a relationship or women with a certain character/personality type.

Women who have sex with multiple partners are much more likely to exhibit behaviours men don't find attractive and are generally more risky in a variety of ways (including health via STDs).

Specialist-Action-33 · 2023-08-28T09:45:57+00:00

I will give one perspective on this.

Men want to have sex regardless. Thing with promiscuous women are those who have slept with every guy out there, sometimes within the same day. But if she meets a guy who she really likes and he wants to have sex in the same amount of time as the other men have, she suddenly has a chasity lock around her vagina because she doesn't want to be seen as "easy". So in a man's mind, its "You will fuck some guy within 2 hrs of meeting him, but because you like me so much as a potential partner you're going to make me wait 3 dates or 90 days before any kind of sex happens." Because of that men will see promiscuous women as women who have that mind set and not want to waste their time with them.

Another is the girl who ignored a guy while letting other men smash, but when those men don't respect her any more or found someone to actually be in a relationship with, she will look at the guy as she ignored as an option for a relationship thinking he is now worthy of her attention. This has happened to me a few times before.

Adding00 · 2023-08-28T04:11:50+00:00

It's a weird dynamic. Best assumption, Goldilocks zone. A woman can't be too hot or cold. She has to be just right.

Women tend to make sex a challenge for men. Expected that not every men has ' passed ' the test. So when he finally does, it's a boost to his ego. Only to find out lots of other men actually ' passed ' too. So he's not special anymore. Men do appreciate the service, but it didn't actually get them anywhere. Now he's just another guy whom has to share. Women like to be chased because it makes them feel good to be desired. Men like to succeed in the chase, because it makes them feel good to be desired too.

Ok_Smile_60 · 2023-08-28T13:45:24+00:00

Hmm, guessing this about marriage only? More partners is a much higher chance of divorce (six alone is 3x more than none) and higher odds of cheating. I’ll have to go look for how previous partners correlates to sex amount in a marriage, but as someone who married some with a lot of partners, while I may mean a lot of sec pre marriage, doesn’t mean it will continue after marriage.

And it goes without saying if there isn’t a lot of sex pre marriage, but she had a lot with other guys, well, that dude is being an idiot

PFgeneral · 2023-08-28T03:56:49+00:00

We love hoes. Any girl that passes that thing around is a God send.

Not going to date her seriously or marry her though.

Stergeary · 2023-08-28T10:25:58+00:00

I don't think the dynamic that is happening is what you think it is. The women that are promiscuous are sleeping around with the men that they think they deserve, but those are the men that won't actually commit to her. So it's the same handful of men sleeping with the women who get around. Which means they're not "gold mines" for average guys, because these promiscuous women think they are better than average guys. Average guys want a non-promiscuous woman who is feminine, loyal, and gives him peace so that he can commit to her without reservation. If they find the right woman, they have no problem with having sex with just her.

It's not like men must unilaterally man-whore their way through women when they say they want sex in their lives. Men will still sleep with women in the course of getting to know her, but the problem is that men have lower standards for who they will sleep with versus who they will commit to, and women have higher standards than men for who they will sleep with, so the men that would commit to a woman are also men that she thinks are beneath her, and the whole while she is sleeping with men for whom she meets his standards for sex, but not his standards for commitment. This isn't always the case but it's enough of the time that it's observable.

UpbeatInsurance5358 · 2023-08-28T08:22:25+00:00

I honestly think that most straight men don't like women. They like to look at them, touch them, smell them and fuck them. But they don't like them, and they certainly don't like them having autonomy.

Uglypostwall · 2023-08-28T13:11:03+00:00

There is pleasure in making fun of woman especially who did wrong things as they are emotional beings,we want to enjoy hurting her and telling story about it to friends.

Women also shame them.Deep inside,everyone want to watch them suffer,getting ugly and crazy and most importantly death.

Atonon3189 · 2023-08-28T10:08:13+00:00

[permanently deleted]

MarBitt · 2023-08-28T07:58:58+00:00

Men generally want more sex than women.
Men have lower certainty of paternity.

Even if women all act strongly sexually promiscuous, their demand for sex will be satisfied by perhaps 30 - 50% of the most attractive men. Thus, 50% of the less attractive men gain nothing from encouraging such behavior.

Men have reason to fear that the children they will raise will not be theirs. It is in a woman's interest to have a child with the man who has the best genetic predisposition as long as she can provide the resources (including time and care) for her child. So even narrower percentage of men will have children, because when a woman ovulates she will naturally choose the most sexually attractive and masculine men.

So not only will the 50% less attractive men gain nothing much by supporting female promiscuity, but they will lose by investing in children that are not biologically theirs and thus increasing the risk that they will die out biologically. Also if men and women were to have long-term relationships and families with freedom in sex, but with joint finances and significant time investments for both, then again, women will mainly benefit. Because it will be easier for them to get sex without any additional time or financial investment.

That's why such behavior has not evolved in men as mainstream and cuckolding is marginal and highly shamed.

SmilesRHere · 2023-08-28T21:22:41+00:00

Depends on the self esteem/security, and socio cultural compliance need of the guy in most cases.

Meaning someone who is comfortable with who they are, and their choices, who doesn’t need societal approval, is a lot more likely to not care about how many people the person he wants to be with, that he loves, has had sex with prior to him.

Meaning someone who needs approval from friends, family, colleagues, society at large, thus very likely some form of inferiority complex, low self esteem (usually unconsciously and in denial -> the “alpha male” lot is a very typical example), will not be able to overcome his insecurities and make it an issue.

_weedkiller_ · 2023-08-28T14:16:17+00:00

You can’t make it make sense. They want a woman who will have no sex drive prior to marriage, then fuck them whenever they want once married.

It’s all bs. They’re just so insecure they’re worried they can live up to past partner’s standards.

Safinated · 2023-08-28T17:37:19+00:00

The male sexual ideal is a harem

In other words, I want to have sex with every woman I am attracted to and they should have sex with only me

operation-spot · 2023-08-28T11:54:59+00:00

It’s because men want to feel like the exception even if it makes absolutely no logical sense. They want to control of limit female sexuality while also benefiting from its freedom.

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OrdinaryFarmer · 2023-08-28T18:33:05+00:00

You must believe in trickle down economics then right? Except in that case you could argue that the rich would invest in businesses or hire more people. But a promiscuous woman has zero reason or want to sleep with a below average male. More promiscuous woman would just mean more action for Chads. Heck maybe Brad would see a small increase in opportunity but no one below him.

Proudvow · 2023-08-28T23:56:09+00:00

Promiscuous women aren't sleeping with everyone. They're sleeping with physically attractive and/or charismatic men.

these girls who aren’t as picky

In effect they're more picky. Women who want relationships are more likely to settle for men who may not be as sexy but are willing to commit to them. While a woman only looking for sex never has to compromise, she can just go for the hottest guy in the room.

I’d assume a lot of you would appreciate the service of these so called “whores” or girls that are “ran through”

Much of the time a mediocre man only has a chance with these women after they're already done having wild sex and want to settle down. At which point he's expected to take seriously a woman a dozen other guys simply used for fun.

"Ran through" is a past-tense term; the guys actually running through her aren't mad about her being ran through, it's the guy at the end who can't do anything with her before providing the full girlfriend treatment who's annoyed that he has to do all this extra stuff her previous partners didn't.

LiveYour_BestLife · 2023-09-04T13:49:32+00:00

Men complain when women don’t have sex for years. Damn if you do damn if you don’t.

Title	So which is it?
Author	Atonon3189
Upvotes	11
Comments	227
Date	August 28, 2023 3:46 AM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/163bbi0/so_which_is_it/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/so-which-is-it.1230667 https://theredarchive.com/post/1230667

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