/r/AskMen asks "Men that opened up to the girlfriend/wife when they asked you to open up and be more vulnerable, how did it work out for you?" and gets the wrong answer...

redpillschool · 2022-02-11T18:43:04+00:00

Top replies:

Ever see that episode of Curb Your Enthusiasm where Larry walks into a glass door and afterwards Lucy Liu can no longer stand the thought of fucking him? Was kinda like that.

Or that clip in Louis where he refuses to fight a teenage and his date loses all interest.

She broke up with me two days later

Same dude. Barely even gave me a reason. Said we had a great connection but she was looking for more. Then she ghosted me

Despite my now ex-girlfriend pleading with me to open up to her on my personal issues, she did a complete 180 regarding how she treated me afterward. I could tell there was just a complete loss of respect and attraction after that moment. She would even go as far as to bring it up in heat-of-the-moment arguments as ammunition.

Never again.

filli1aj · 2022-02-11T21:40:11+00:00

[permanently deleted]

jmoincali · 2022-02-11T18:55:13+00:00

The only time I’ve “opened up” if you could call it that was when my mother unexpectedly died and I got emotional after the call.

Before this things were going great and then 2 weeks after the “we have a connection just not now” talk came.

I’m not mad about it, it was a lesson I needed to be taught but it’s a mistake I’ll never repeat again showing any form of vulnerability.

red_philosopher · 2022-02-11T20:21:58+00:00

People are stupid. It's like the line "You deserve to be loved for who you are." It's a phrase spoken by women for women, because guess what, women get to be loved for who they are. Female solipsism. It's not for men. You don't "deserve" to be loved for who you are, you could be an alcoholic porn addict, nobody is going to "love" you for that. Men get to be loved for being the best possible versions of themselves.

Women say they want "an emotionally vulnerable man." That's similar nonsensical female solipsism. Women get to be "emotionally vulnerable," so that's what they communicate. Vulnerability means weakness full stop. You need to be an emotionally "capable" man. IE: you recognize your issues, you can talk about it openly and reasonably like it's no big deal, and it doesn't matter because you've already fixed them and/or don't need her help to do so.

Women don't want a man-child who is going to use her as an emotional tampon, that's what his mother is for. Guaranteed 99% of these dudes were begging to have their hand held instead of just doing what they needed to do to be better.

mysteryelyts · 2022-02-11T22:58:31+00:00

I had a really shit experience with this

previous night she almost broke down and expressed her vulnerability. I accepted them and told her I would support her all the way through. Her past was sad & dark and I could relate and understand.
few days later she asked if I could express vulnerability, ‘I regret every part of it’ as I expressed heartfelt truths and facts.
the next day, she called it off as she wasn’t interested.

FFS. Yeah I’m not being vulnerable to anyone again. I’ll take it to the grave.

PatternEast7185 · 2022-02-11T22:43:42+00:00

women literally prefer that i act like a psychopath.. they'll bitch about it, call me weird names, but they don't leave

the second that i show that i actually do have human emotions and concerns about things, they split or get antsy

quijote3000 · 2022-02-11T23:13:25+00:00

I opened up. I did what I was "supposed" to do. She absolutely lost all respect towards me. Ten years down the drain.

Tzar_93 · 2022-02-11T21:39:19+00:00

Gonna be honest here,

I’ve opened up on a rare occasion and my girls been very supportive.

I have given myself permission to do what I want when I want.

If I can’t be myself around my girl then I’ll just get rid of her.

PiperBigBell · 2022-02-11T20:24:54+00:00

You know how you avoid getting hurt when opening up? Have an actual vetting process. Stop opening up to women who haven't earned it. Test them thoroughly with little things to trust them with, rather than just giving up your ass to them bent over a kitchen island. Next, open up because YOU want to, not because you felt bullied into it. This shit isn't complicated.

drakehfh · 2022-02-11T19:55:05+00:00

That's some red pilling over there

omega_dawg93 · 2022-02-12T00:45:27+00:00

3 things:

never ask a deer how to hunt deer... they will lead you down the wrong path. any woman saying, "i want a man who's in-touch with his emotions... is vulnerable... can cry when he needs to," is simply telling you that you better NOT do any of that shit.
you ARE ALLOWED to open-up emotionally to a woman... you can even whine like a little bitch and cry on her shoulder. that ONE & ONLY woman is your mom, and you need to do that in total privacy and for damn good reason. for all other women, NEVER... EVER do that shit.
if you need to vent, express yourself emotionally, or even cry, you call your best MALE friend, take a ride to the park, sit on the bench where no one is around, and let it all out. then, ya'll go snag a beer a/o chase some pussy.

FarFromAverage7866 · 2022-02-11T18:48:15+00:00

Haha, that thread is Gold.

The worst thing a man can ever do is "open up" to a woman. Women have this idea ingrained in them that men are strong, stoic and non emotional beings. Just imagine a Lion for a second. We have this idea naturally ingrained in us that a Lion is the King of the jungle, and a strong animal that can kick ass. But say, this Lion was to show weakness and "open up" what would happen? You would shit test the hell out of the Lion like it's nothing because you now know that it was all talk, and you would think to yourself as a fool that you ever taught this Lion was so "strong."

In just matter of seconds, all this "respect" you had for the lion as the "King of the jungle" would go down the drain and you would now look at the same lion as "weak." Same exact way women see men, once they open up and show any weakness. That's why being emotionally stoic and strong and showing no emotion infront of a women is very necessary.

Remember, "Don't listen to what they say, watch what they do." If a woman is like, she wants her man to open up and all that, always do the opposite.

dingleburry_joe · 2022-02-11T23:25:21+00:00

Imo it just shows the more need to have close dude friends. I have some really close dudes in my life and we've opened up about alot of shit. It's increased our friendship, no dude uses it against another.

This gives you the space to do it with your buds, but be willing to be called geh once in a while.

You shouldn't be vulnerable to any women in your life. Vulnerable is showing them your naked body lol

War-rior314 · 2022-02-12T01:25:30+00:00

This is why, discovering the redpill, I count as a blessing each and every day. The world and society wants slaves to work endlessly. It doesn't want Men to learn from their mistakes, it doesn't want to teach them to be strong, it doesn't want them to grow as a man. Only for you to pump put the next generation of slaves and get divorced raped. Only for the cycle to repeat, over and over. Welcome to getting your asshole drilled in for an eternity. Learn to be on your own, never rely on anyone but yourself.

jonathan_0692_ · 2022-02-11T22:37:19+00:00

Women are for fucking and entertain yourself for a while, not for sharing your problems. They're here to fulfill your sexual/reproductive needs not to listen to you. Go opn3 yourself to your 12 year old nephew and see what happens, same with women they will laugh at your face while listening to your childhood insecurities.

I even remember going to a psychologist one time to treat my anxiousness and smoking addiction, the first time I went there I remember the doctor ( woman) being kinda flirty, feminine, pleasant towards me, asking me questions, smiling and shit. sessions later once I started to talk about my fears, insecurities and open myself her attitude changed 180°, while she was 1000% professional I could sense she started to talk to me Ike she was talking to a 10 year old, all the feminine, pleasant attitude towards me changed into some professional compassionate attitude, it's on their nature to seek for dominance in men and despise weakness.

If you have the stupid idea that once you become "ALPHA" a woman who at the time is sucking your asshole, respects you and is there for you, is gonna listen to your problems because you're an " ALPHA" then you need to learn more about lfemale behavior.

Woman can love you, have affection for you and stay with you after the fact you opened yourself to them, but in her unconscious mind you're not dominant enough, that's when they start looking somewhere else and you might never even have a clue what's going on.

You don't open yourself to someone who's lesser than you, cry with your dad, mom, make friends, brothers but never with a woman, you will loose everytime.

NightwingTRP · 2022-02-12T01:58:17+00:00

NEVER EVER expose yourself like this. This is why you cultivate strong male-male heterosexual relationships. And why you will remember that in this reality the other men who come to you CAN NOT rely upon a woman for this. Support your fellow men in their times of need and build strong friendships.

CandleLess · 2022-02-11T23:36:34+00:00

I recently made the mistake of getting unbelievably drunk and both puking and getting emotional in front of my girlfriend about a week ago, I'll let you fellas know how it works out

Redd_Ghost · 2022-02-11T23:10:46+00:00

“One thing my dad told me is never let your woman know when you’re insecure”

-Juice WRLD

Work_ln_Progress · 2022-02-11T22:42:55+00:00

Jesus that's a rough thread. How can so many men see it in front of their eyes... but still not see it.

PinstripePride97 · 2022-02-11T23:34:22+00:00

My ex gf didnt asked me to open up emotionally, it was just my naive and rookie thinking that if i opened up myself emotionally and psychologically she would be more locked in with me. Oh boy, how mistaken I was, from the point that i started opened myself up emotionally the dynamic of our relationship changed from worse, i stopped receiving BJs more frequently and overall sex occasions dropped too. She started treating me more like her little brother (Im almost 3 years younger than her) and finally her interest in me started to decline all the way until she cheated on me. So open up emotionally or psychologically with your girl is no bueno. If you feel the need to open up on something you can do it with a very close friend or familiar or preferrably with a therapist, but your girl nope, she doesnt need to know that u have drama or fears or traumas, she can say that men can be vulnerable and all of that but she will start losing attraction towards you and see yourself more of a friend rather than a sexual partner.

stuckmeformypaper · 2022-02-13T00:00:54+00:00

Had to call things off with my gf the other day. Ever since I hit a rut with a suicide of someone close to me, I opened up and was no longer the winner she picked at the finish line.

Started becoming more disagreeable, less feminine and affectionate. Seemed less interested in being around me, I became little more than a cardboard cutout in her life. I'm just glad I took the initiative to make the move rather than let her do it. Maybe that's enough for her to resurface later as a plate, either way it's the most in control I've felt in months.

ahandtoyourdarknessx · 2022-02-11T18:45:24+00:00

My personal experience I have opened up to several women and it didn’t end negatively.

Why does my experience differ? Am I just lucky?

DaElectricGamer · 2022-02-11T19:58:04+00:00

I tried to make a post on this but it didnt get any momentum, im glad you did.

What do you guys think of the exceptions to this? Like the people who comment “my partner took it well, we’re still together after so many years”.

Theres still a decent amount of that. Are they exceptions or is something else going on?

JK-Redditor · 2022-02-12T07:55:21+00:00

Ended in divorce. It's a trap, don't do it. In the words of Russell Peters, HEY! BE A MAN!

shxbxx · 2022-02-17T16:40:46+00:00

Their pathetic admins purged the entire thread for bickering and women-bashing views in the comments

2022-02-12T02:25:06+00:00

Only bad things happen with this.

slickshark · 2022-02-12T13:35:45+00:00

The way I think of it is like owning a business. You can’t complain to your employees about all the problems the business is having. Because they will have doubts about their future and will quit to work for someone else.

My ex-gf actually told me that she didn’t like it when I told her about the struggles I was having with my business. She brought it up only after we broke up. The joke is on her because I had more time to work on my business, and that’s when it really turned around.

There is always one CEO in a company, and in a relationship it’s you. If you don’t act like it, then your gf will be the CEO, and that never ends well.

puralogica · 2022-02-12T08:53:33+00:00

Don't trust women words, just consider the facts.

Don't trust women's questions about feelings, just consider that they would go get a better man than you if they had the possibility.

Optimal-Response · 2022-02-14T17:26:13+00:00

Father unexpectedly passed away- we were very close so obviously I was a complete wreck. Gf of 3 years dumped me about 2 months later. One of the darkest times of my life but I wouldn’t trade that time as it has proven to be the most valuable experiences I have ever had.

coa795 · 2022-02-16T18:32:25+00:00

She wasnt a gf or wife but she was my friend. We both had feelings for each other but never expressed it. We went out and due to encouragement by my friend I pulled her to the side to let her know how I felt about her. She expressed she felt the same and that we should leave and talk. We end up leaving the club with some friends. instead of going back to our hotel she chooses to go out instead to the after party. I decide to go back to the hotel and go sleep. A couple hours later she comes back and jumps on me to wake me up to talk. I say I dont feel like talking right now so she packs her bags and leaves. So yeah fellas never express your feelings in the club.

whyubanmereddit · 2022-02-26T07:52:48+00:00

Made a mistake by opening up cos I was in a low mood for a couple days and a week or 2 later, left me. They don't give a fuck about your emotions.

bjcm5891 · 2022-02-12T02:24:25+00:00

A timely post.

I'm even wary about opening up to the friends/ mentors in my life. I don't want to lose my standing in their eyes. Sometimes there is no option but to speak to my mother about certain things, and even then I don't do it on a whim. I am aware that there will come a day where she is not around, by which time I hope to be even stronger than I am now and able to shoulder greater burdens.

tarzak · 2022-02-12T06:59:45+00:00

I’ve cried in front of my previous partners before. Never with the intention of garnering their sympathy but my vulnerability was always received with lovingness and understanding. Quite frankly, if a girl distances herself from me for expressing my emotions (in a self aware and non needy way) then I could nor care less. Truly. That’s not the type of woman I would have any inkling of staying with.

pappo4ever · 2022-02-14T14:19:05+00:00

I really dont have any 'vulnerability' or shit like that. But during the pandemic I was stressed out and not always the stoic happy guy I always was. So I slip for a second, and a month later she was gone.

I knew she left an ex-bf when his mother got cancer, so I knew what I was dealing with.

Those bitches are ice cold.

shittyfuckdick · 2022-02-14T18:12:15+00:00

Thinking back to my first LTR I thought this wasn’t true cause she was always sympathetic and supportive of my issues.

But now that I really think about it I realized I never once actually opened up about it. She just pieced together how fucked up my family is by experiencing it. I think if I actually opened up and talked about it would be a different story.

Herdsengineers · 2022-02-17T03:11:51+00:00

Re - Opening up: Sharing something that's challenging for you but in a way that say "this is hard, but I got it, it doesn't have me" is the key. As long as you are still a strong man in her eyes, you can get away with it. It's when you come off as not able to handle something hard that it will make her feel less secure and safe being with you. Then, the shit tests escalate, and she'll get more disrespectful because she's become mad that you don't comfort her like you used to before.

Opening up like the disney fantasy stuff with tears and vulnerability doesn't work. That's just being a pussy, not really opening up more to her. But sharing a challenge, letting her know it's a hard situation for you, then letting her watch you stay in control, face it, and overcome it - that can be a very powerful attraction and tingle builder.

It comes to success vs. failure. You can "open up" in a way that seems to indicate failure, and that will kill her attraction. You can also do it in a way that demonstrates success and not kill, or even strengthen, her attraction.

redpillschool · 2022-03-02T18:13:02+00:00

Does this mean you ain’t got to be honest or just not emotional?

Sliw · 2022-02-11T23:25:56+00:00

The trick is the "right" amount of vulnerability.

Too much and you're weak.

Too little and you're inaccessible.

You have to find the right balance.

skorpandrija007 · 2022-02-11T22:25:54+00:00

Only in a 6 month relationship, but tbh it worked out great

70percentoff · 2022-02-11T19:17:49+00:00

You know what stinks like a bumbling emotional idiot? A man who can’t be vulnerable bc to do so makes him feel like he’s giving power to another.

The most powerful position is fully exposed.

Souk12 · 2022-02-12T07:14:59+00:00

Good riddance to all of those who jumped ship; on to the next!

Dante9231 · 2022-02-12T11:17:57+00:00

For me it was a big mistake, she saw me as less of a man and stopped talking to me altogether. I probably won't reveal this side until I'm deep in a relationship. Here's to the next girl.

five_eight · 2022-02-12T12:11:40+00:00

Shit test. You're already gone: she's just fishing for a rationale.

Magneefeeco · 2022-02-13T09:34:07+00:00

"opening up" means different things for different people, and understanding what each means is probably important.

Someone can open up about a past tough experience, where they went through an emotional time and how they dealt with it and that's fine because it shows vulnerability and the other person gets to know you deeper.

Now someone can "open up" by complaining about current emotional problems and hoping/expecting sympathy from the other person, and that's seems to be the off putting thing. Men are supposed to be on top of their problems. I also think one can share current challenges at work or life but there always needs to be assurance to the girl that he got this and he'll solve it, while not expecting anything from her (inner game).

sadhell666 · 2022-02-23T07:11:54+00:00

Idk how I landet here but I’m sad to see that you guys were treated like that. I really hope you all will make better experiences. Could never imagine leaving someone because they speak what’s on their mind. I hope you all are healthy and doing well

HereForaRefund · 2022-03-05T09:12:52+00:00

Every time they threw it back in my face. One women I told her she has to quit smoking and it's a deal breaker, she kept smoking on the low. And when I told her that it's what killed my grandmother, she kept doing it. She has Chron's disease, all she had to do is quit smoking and it'll go into remission. Docs are talking about taking part of her bowels now and she's still lighting up.

Second girl I told her that I couldn't continue a relationship with a girl because she has herpes and I have an immune disorder. The docs told me at an early age if I get a list of diseases, I'm basically fucked. Herpes was on that list. She kept making jokes about it, and then got mad when I refused to kiss her goodnight. That's not something to joke about (that's the lightest way to put how I was feeling inside).

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