Have you seen a handsome and successful man struggling in his romantic/sexual relationships?

gofigure62 · 2022-07-19T14:26:09+00:00

Yes. Either they had extreme childhood trauma, were on the spectrum, extremely introverted, suffered from depression/anxiety, and/or had emotional issues.

I have on very handsome friend that swears he's a FA. However, he literally never leaves the house. He works from home, has everything delivered, he never goes beyond his back yard.

I told him he may be agoraphobic. Whatever he has, he's in complete denial. I'm also one of the only people that he speaks to regularly.

I've noticed many hermits and recluses are claiming to be introverted, being completely self isolated isn't being introverted.

Karmanger · 2022-07-19T14:39:54+00:00

Handsome and successful men that struggle, are only struggling because they lack the social skills required to get a romantic/sexual relationship.

anjovis150 · 2022-07-19T14:21:53+00:00

Johnny Depp I guess lol

platinirisms · 2022-07-19T14:14:32+00:00

Struggle with sleeping with women? Literally never. I have never seen an attractive successful man struggle with women.

Struggle to hold a relationship? Quite often, these guys are simply not relationship material and women get sick of them pretty soon into one.

no_usernameeeeeee · 2022-07-19T14:12:20+00:00

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Creation_Soul · 2022-07-19T14:43:19+00:00

I have told this story before, but my cousin is someone who is good looking and has good success on Tinder. He has no issue getting sex, but he has no ability to form LTRs. And the main reason is that he is addicted to "new relationship energy" and when that starts to fade, the relationship is bound to fail in a matter of days.

He once drunkenly admitted to me that he envies me that I have no problem maintaining a long relationship with my wife and not get bored with it.

Hard_Corsair · 2022-07-19T14:50:19+00:00

Yes, I had a close friend from high school that was reasonably handsome, in excellent physical shape, college educated, and completely impossible to date. His problem was 100% unreasonable standards. He insisted on holding out for a woman who:

Is not overweight (or even thicc)
Christian (but not Catholic because they don’t count)
Right wing and/or culturally rural
Shares his interests in hunting/shooting/fishing/PC gaming

So essentially a hot PC gamer trad wife. He might have been okay if he would drop the gaming part but he wouldn’t. Moreover, he insisted on waiting until marriage to lose his virginity, so his plan was to basically not date and all until Ms Perfect appears and then somehow win her over.

I have no idea if he ever changed, as I excommunicated that circle a few years ago.

athlete2biz · 2022-07-19T14:43:12+00:00

echoing what others have said in here.

I havent seen them struggle to get sex. if you either very handsome or very succesful woman will throw themselves at you for both sex and dates.

stuggle to keep them? yes.

its usually either the really handsome guy who is broke struggling

or the really rich but ugly with no social skills struggling.

but a guy who is BOTH handsome and succesful, nah they do fine, they have hundreds if not thousands or beautiful woman willing to drop their entire lives to be with the guy. the guy could have the worst personality in the world and have zero dating issues.

xzpw · 2022-07-19T19:09:23+00:00

Just gonna go out on a ledge here and say … nope. I don’t know any personally. Guys I know who are legitimately 8+ don’t have any issues getting women. They get women thrown at them - even if not financially successful. I’m not gonna say they don’t have issues but those are usually of their own manufacturing - like they’re garbage partners or human beings.

Some people on Reddit here and IRL try to be nice to me and say I’m handsome but the results speak for themselves. I’ve been married, in the top 1% of earners, have a nice degree, well educated overall, funny, fun, secure attachment, etc. You couldn’t find someone with a worse dating history outside of FA. By that measure and how I rated on some subreddits - I’m definitely average at best. So, I’ve got success nailed down but looks not so much. The guys I look at who are taller, more good looking, etc. they do much better even if they make like 1/10th what I do and have a crap education and are completely brain dead - lol.

SwaySh0t · 2022-07-19T16:11:49+00:00

My boy is one of ‘em. Software dev for top company, has jaw like Stan from American dad, did mma in his 20’s, rich family, Eastern European, and can’t talk to girls to save his fuckin life. He’s now dating a model but he’s 32 and it’s his first real relationship.

NyahFriday · 2022-07-19T18:52:07+00:00

I have. Usually they are socially awful and creepy acting. Even then, his looks get him in the door if he manages to eke out an acceptable open. But since he's socially incompetent, things never work out.

VasiliyZaitzev · 2022-07-19T19:10:15+00:00

A few times, but it's been guys who totally lack game. One was a guy who was at least 6'4 or 6'5, made good money (partner in a real estate developer). He was clearly handsome guy and he married a chubby 5. If they were happy, fine, but he wasted those King genes.

Another guy (professional, 6'5 ex-college QB) I know spent 20 years in an awful marriage, again, because he didn't realize his own power. Never had to learn game because: 6'5 college athlete. He told me he was getting divorced and my advice to him was as follows: "You've been beat up so bad by your wife and inlaws that you have PTSD, even though you don't know it. When the floodgates open, and they will, don't just shack up with the first woman who shows any interest and is 'nice' to you, because 'nice' is going to seem like it's WONDERFUL."

I saw him a month later and he was like "My man, you were so right. Once word got around town that I had moved out, they started showing up."

So yeah, "Looks, Money and Game, abideth these three, but the greatest of ghese is Game."

-From, The Sayings of Chairman Zaitzev

ObviousRascal · 2022-07-19T14:06:24+00:00

Struggle to keep one, or to have a real one where he wasn't related like an ATM. Those seem to be more of an issue for them but not by much.

srfm24 · 2022-07-19T14:44:13+00:00

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mrcs84usn · 2022-07-19T16:14:23+00:00

Elliot Rodger comes to mind.

januaryphilosopher · 2022-07-19T15:10:42+00:00

I've seen every kind of person struggle to get the kind of relationship they want. We all go through it at some point.

Hoopy223 · 2022-07-19T14:16:00+00:00

I’ve known a couple but they both had drug/mental problems. One has since passed away and the other succumbed to schizophrenia.

athlete2biz · 2022-07-19T14:30:07+00:00

Yep. I have a gorgeous, tall friend of mine taking years to find the right girl.

Sure, he's a bit stupid and he would only keep going after stupid women, but then he learned.

SmarmyPapsmears · 2022-07-19T16:47:07+00:00

The only dude who I would consider good looking who struggles is a turbo Christian giga-misogynist with 0 game. He's 33 and still a virgin despite being at least a 7/10 and 6'3

QuestionableParadigm · 2022-07-19T18:46:56+00:00

Yes I have some handsome & smart friends that struggle w women because they’re awkward and don’t really know how to talk to them

no_usernameeeeeee · 2022-07-19T20:53:18+00:00

Some of those men just don’t know how to be good BF and have tons of red flags. That’s really what i can gather from my personal experiences. They’re not single because girls don’t want them, or try it with them, but they might have led a lifestyle that was just about hooking up and superficial stuff and never learned how to actually care for a woman or someone else (emotionally) which shows up in many different ways.

If that is not the case, they usually are shy/anxious and may not view themselves as handsome successful and capable. They might have insecurities from the past they need to work on and stuff, but they are good guys and they just need to be with someone who will value them past what’s on the outside and push them to be more confident.

Safe_Comb4210 · 2022-07-20T08:02:40+00:00

I work in the the finance sector, a lot of them actually struggle but that's because their personalities have been through the rings of hell and spewed out. There attractive and successful, but most of them are sociopaths, that should have been held more as children.

Sunshine12e · 2022-07-20T08:59:19+00:00

Yes. Have a family member, who is very attractive, but has no social skills at all. Getting dates was no problem, but getting a relationship was impossible.

myzlzxghtoefbjuypu · 2022-07-20T09:28:07+00:00

Of course! Usually it's because they felt in love in a girl with whom they can't be. They are so focused on her that they ignore all other women.

launcelot02 · 2022-07-19T16:55:06+00:00

Only problems I have seen is there is not enough time in the day to keep all the women happy. By the way, I’m not that guy.

People say they can’t keep a relationship. Why would they? It’s a revolving door of women coming and going.

RIPGeorgeHarrison · 2022-07-19T17:05:58+00:00

one or the other sure, but both together is a lot less common.

babyphattt · 2022-07-19T17:08:36+00:00

they will sleep with attractive women but are looking for someone who they have that perfect bond with so they will enjoy the single life until they think they’ve found the one

everyday-a-challenge · 2022-07-19T17:22:40+00:00

Struggled to attract women? Not really. I did struggle in relationships when i was younger until i learned that women dont communicate the way men do (or watch what they do, not what they say). However you want to put it.

Dagenius1 · 2022-07-19T17:43:32+00:00

Struggle in some ways yes but it’s the struggle you would expect given that scenario.

If a man is classically handsome and objectively successful in his career, he has all the struggles that come with having lots of choices. From personal experience, the main struggle is finding a woman you trust. The struggle is not in meeting beautiful women willing to spend time with you.

But the struggles that most guys talk about here?? Not at all.

Krouser1522 · 2022-07-19T18:30:30+00:00

It definitely happens

srfm24 · 2022-07-19T19:19:12+00:00

yes, success can overwhelm them. Relationship skills are different, and social skills are hard.

DLifts777 · 2022-07-19T19:40:24+00:00

I kind of fall into this category. I can sleep with pretty much most women, I could go on Tinder right now and find a 7 or 8 /10 to fuck tonight, but what I struggle with is actual relationships. I find most girls either too fake, too entitled or too basic (as in they're very shallow thinkers). Maybe I'm just unlucky but I haven't met many humble girls who can develop their own thoughts and aren't obsessed with pop culture and Instagram (if anyone knows where these girls are please tell me).

Many people describe me as the 'perfect guy' or a 'chad', but appearance wise the girls I'm into are usually more normal looking (I don't like too much makeup, fake tan, fake lashes, huge bums or breasts etc) and so I think these more normal looking humble girls disqualify themselves from dating me or they assume I'm a fuck boy who only wants them for sex. That's how it was with my ex, she would always say I was way out of her league, but I didn't care about looks because she had a great personality, I told her to find me a girl on her Fb who was in my league and she ended up showing me some wannabee Insta influencer that was totally not my type.

So yeah, for me I think it's a combination of I don't like a lot of the girls on offer and the one's I do like perhaps have the wrong perception of me or think I'm out of their league.

freespirit1963TJ · 2022-07-19T19:53:48+00:00

I have, and it is probably more common than one would think. Believe it, or not, people's romantic and sexual identity is, at least in part, formed by how they're raised. I have a family member whose first born was a son. The child was not socialized in the least but, to a point of being smothered. This young man is/was very intelligent, handsome, athletic but had zero social skills, especially with the opposite sex. There were those of us that were curious about the kids sexual preference for a period of time. He seemed VERY uncomfortable with women. Graduated high school with honors and completed college in a very short period. Struggled mightily with relationships. To the best of my knowledge, kinda lost track of him....he eventually must've overcome a lot of his issues, he married and has a kid or two.

srfm24 · 2022-07-19T23:21:09+00:00

Ever heard of Johnny Depp ?

golden_eyed_cat · 2022-07-20T02:15:35+00:00

Recently, I met a man at the gym that's very conventionally attractive and likely has a high income, however, he's been in two very abusive relationships, and developed a lot of baggage from them. Because of that, he has trouble trusting women and is struggling to find a long-term partner.

Khanluka · 2022-07-20T05:25:12+00:00

Chris Evans was open about his releationships. And that he wants a longterm one but his own peronal mental issuise make it very hard. So his activly looking for a woman his compentable with. As in his words most woman he dates become very clingy to him and that a massief turn off for him. We wants someone that has a full function life with out him. As his fauvrite actived is outdoor camping by himself.

But that the only high profile guy i can name. I gess a big probleem for him is just avioding ladysimp and golddiggers. Comes with being a celebrity

BrummieAMN19 · 2022-07-20T10:12:09+00:00

Yes they were either too logical, extremely passive cause they took the "women make it easy for you" as don't do anything at all, said dumb shit, low self-esteem, boring, having piss poor social skills/game. The only time they had gotten laid was with desperate showing off type women below them looks wise, any woman they'd approach on their level looks wise they'd fail miserably. However, they did get in the door but they were thrown out as fast as they got in.

Sometimes there's racial reasons, like my wingman who is a mixed race Chad with game gets rejected by a decent number of black women as soon as he speaks cause he sounds like an Essex white guy. I am also a Tyronelite and have been rejected by black women for not being hood.

womandatory · 2022-07-20T12:38:00+00:00

I have seen men who thought they were handsome and successful struggle in their relationships…

2022-07-19T20:26:29+00:00

Men and women of all levels of attractiveness struggle with romance and relationships.

srfm24 · 2022-07-19T14:14:07+00:00

Sure. Every gym I’ve been to has several good looking creeps or good looking awkward and intense dudes who can’t read social cues.

FightMeCthullu · 2022-07-19T14:18:13+00:00

I personally know one stereotypically attractive guy with a good job who struggles with dating. Mind you, he is an absolute ass. He’ll occasionally get dates but he ruins it for himself pretty quickly with his attitude. He makes a great first impression but he’s like a silent fart - once you smell it you gotta walk away.

EDIT: his struggle is entirely self inflicted due to his large ego and his ‘shock jock’ attitude. He says offensive shit just to get a rise out of people and then seems surprised when people get offended. I don’t like him at all. Obviously.

Sad thing is he’s super intelligent and I’ve seen him he kind so I know he’s capable of more but he just seems to be so high off himself. He lives entirely for his own amusement, but likes it best when it comes at the expense of other people. The more he gets rejected by friends and strangers the more bitter he becomes. Honestly I wish he’d go to therapy to do some introspection because he has the potential to be a good person but just seems to lack the empathy to do it consistently.

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2022-07-19T14:57:31+00:00

Yes.

Sex and the momentary lapse of reason called "romance", or more accurately, by what today's standard of intellect seems to be, judging by online content, "romans", are ONLY two out of many qualities expected to be diligently reliably exhibited by the females who desire the luxurious title of "woman".

Handsome successful men tend to require her to be nothing less than a proper woman IRL, not just some one out of 4 billion females calling themselves that word without knowing what it even means. Guys like that don't have anything to lose going without a sack of burden to drag along through life.

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SoIlikeMangos · 2022-07-19T20:48:20+00:00

Specialist-Action-33 · 2022-07-19T22:27:16+00:00

I have. Even when women say a man is handsome they will watch him struggle in relationships. I know looks are subjective, but sometimes I felt that women will call some men handsome just so he wouldn't feel bad about himself, regardless of whether its true or not.

King-SAMO · 2022-07-20T02:30:08+00:00

At the end of a bottle of Oban 18 yr, one of the guys I really look up to, as in he’s fucked everyone he’s wanted to fuck since he was 14, did express some regret that his marriage failed. Not missing his ex wife so much, not personally anyways, but missing the being married part.

he was cheating on her, and she was the one putting in all the work, so no shit he missed that set up.

the other guy who gets those sorts of results is ostensibly a good dude who is in and out of [unfaithful] longterm relationships and generally keeps a realistic perspective on why his life is the way it is.

maybe these guys will die sad and alone, but they’ll do it with more and fonder memories than the rest of us.

PlayfulLawyer · 2022-07-20T03:24:20+00:00

They may not get the exact kind of female they're looking for at the time they're looking for her, and obviously nothing goes perfectly, but this kind of guy with his shit together , struggle? No

Now we're talking about somebody who's slightly on the Spectrum or has some deep deep deep issues, Maybe

2022-07-20T06:05:15+00:00

A lot. You act like dudes from all sorts of backgrounds dont end up with some trash ass women. You forget that bitch will forget who her man is and start to act funky with entitlement like she did it all. Look at Steph Curry's wife. She's stepped out of line. Fucking Kelly Stafford jumps on social media constantly like she's out there throwing the ball. Legit opened her mouth and said some shit that got Matt talked to by his coach, teammates, and GM in the past. You think they're not pulling shit at home too?

2022-07-20T23:52:23+00:00

Nobody noticeablely good looking

washington_breadstix · 2022-07-21T00:41:57+00:00

Yes, any human being can "struggle" relative to their own standards. Handsome, successful men might not struggle to get female attention altogether, but they can still struggle to get exactly what they want from the specific women they want it from.

Impossible_You_8555 · 2022-07-21T08:31:37+00:00

Yes

He had no self confidence and was just miserable company

f_ckupsomecommas · 2022-07-21T21:43:11+00:00

I wouldn’t call myself handsome but I’m probably 5-6/10 on an ideal day and yes it’s challenging because of my autism

Title	Have you seen a handsome and successful man struggling in his romantic/sexual relationships?
Author	srfm24
Upvotes	41
Comments	244
Date	July 19, 2022 12:42 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/w2rtnc/have_you_seen_a_handsome_and_successful_man/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/have-you-seen-a-handsome-and-successful-man.1123864 https://theredarchive.com/post/1123864

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