She's taking half of everything after spending our marriage doing nothing.

stacksmasher · 2022-07-28T20:19:40+00:00

If I had a dime for every chick who let a man put them thru college and then divorced taking 1/2 I would be a millionaire!

Fun-Possible7676 · 2022-07-28T21:24:06+00:00

This is going to be hard to hear but you didn't treat her like a princess as much as you treated yourself like a slave. Getting away with only half is still good.

Ok-Recover-7744 · 2022-07-28T21:33:31+00:00

I mean what do we really get out of it? 20 years I've been married and had to listen to her shaming me last weekend accusing me of not loving her right because 22 yrs ago when I was 24, I went to my brother's bucks and left her alone for the night. So because she's menopausal she has this new reality, even though I've worked alone all these years and now I don't love her right. Seriously, there is nothing to gain for men in marriage. Just lease them if you feel like sex and carry on.

lemmingsrevenge · 2022-07-28T21:36:15+00:00

Divorce tax my guy.

Your just paying to be free.

Don’t focus on how unfair it is, you can’t change it. All you can do is get out as quickly as you can.

Standing on principal here is only going to cost you money in legal fees.

Physical-Pie748 · 2022-07-29T01:14:13+00:00

thats the bait and switch. after you married her, she can spend all of your money, she can stop having sex, get fat, do nothing, and divorce without any reason and take half. thats why im not getting married, even with a prenup im not getting married.

RideATX · 2022-07-28T20:29:43+00:00

Dude, just take your 1/2 of the profit on your house and move on. You are getting out incredibly lucky, I know it doesn't feel like it right now, but trust me. Imagine your situation except you have to pay 50% of your after tax take home income to her in SS and CS for the next 15 years. This is a minor setback in the grand scheme of life, you still have the ability to earn and build the life you want. Cut your losses and move on.

henrysmyagent · 2022-07-28T20:52:03+00:00

Other than sex, 90% of women add absolutely nothing of value to a man's life except problems.

Just on a per fuck basis, most men are better off leasing a woman than buying outright. SB's for the win!

Learn from this my friend and vow to never make this mistake again.

Specialist-Holiday61 · 2022-07-29T10:20:00+00:00

Fuck, I’m sorry.

But I tell men all the time….

Getting married ain’t for you. But if you are gonna do it, marry a career woman. The “stay at home wife or mother” will fuck you till the sun comes up should she want to divorce you. It’s so funny how the system rewards some lazy ass woman for not working aka hefty alimony payments, half of something she never worked for, and you just literally have a $ on your forehead. DONT GET MARRIED.

jimmyjames2003 · 2022-07-28T22:59:29+00:00

I was in a similar situation to you, but I’m a little further down the line time wise.

It helped me to think about it this way: everything we had I was going to share anyway, the retirement, the house everything was going to be split 50-50 with her if we stayed together.

So giving her 50% to get away from her wasn’t a bad deal really.

At least you’ll have your freedom.

Another way you could think about it is this: what’s the dollar figure that you would put on being miserable for the rest of your life?

OwnerAndMaster · 2022-07-28T23:32:00+00:00

Congratulations, you've learned why western men shouldn't get married

Next relationship: expect her to give you everything you want, never give her what she asks for

sicrm · 2022-07-28T21:03:22+00:00

chalk it up to the game, don’t get married again, and you’ll be fine especially in the long run.

mpk115 · 2022-07-28T21:52:43+00:00

I'm in the exact same boat, in fact I could copy and paste this verbatim! Just take your lumps, learn the lesson and move on. Don't waste your energy being pissed and stewing over it. In time it won't matter. Yes it sucks, we get screwed but that's the law and there is nothing we can do about it. Sorry buddy

ryanduty · 2022-07-28T23:17:50+00:00

I’m going through the exact same thing buddy. Literally paid for everything while she spent her money on clothes and nail salons and bars with her friends. Good luck to you bro. You’re not alone

NoWalrus5028 · 2022-07-29T11:27:32+00:00

Marriage is a government contract. It's like forming a general partnership.

If you're savvy with your money, why would you open a business based on emotions?

I was once married, she took my daughter (because "the courts gave me the power" as she says). I'm reduced to a visitor and can't convince her to let my daughter sty with me for more than 2 days.

Marriage is a joke because they made it a joke.

JD-Anderson · 2022-07-28T22:01:31+00:00

This should be a lesson to all of us. If you get married, be lazier than your spouse and definitely earn less.

And don’t be the husband either.

tyyyy110 · 2022-07-28T23:42:47+00:00

I'm here for all the comments. They are golden.

I say this, as I once was a fool but I came out fairly unscathed financially. Emotionally and mentally..well that's another story.

Point is this, if all she's bringing to the table is looks, and sex...just say no to marriage! I freakin despise these leeches disguised as good women. No, no, no, no! They are slick and will suck you dry in the end. Find a woman who's successful and career oriented, with ambitions. Dont say yes in marriage to the low level chick's with nothing to offer but sex.

Clockapp · 2022-07-28T20:21:31+00:00

Sorry, man. I understand exactly what you're going through. Sounds like you're not on the hook for CS or alimony. So, that means you can hopefully rebuild quickly. Thankfully, you didn't have children with her or you'd really be tanked.

Any way you can buy her out of the house?

MathForPay · 2022-07-29T04:37:25+00:00

Reading the other other stuff that gets posted on this sub helps put things in perspective. I’m in a similar boat as OP. Short marriage, I paid for everything. She started grad school soon after we married. I cooked. I cleaned. Because her school work was way too stressful to do anything else.

But I’ve learned to be thankful that all this is coming to an end and there are no children involved. Better that this relationship fail early and we learn our lessons. If it failed 10 years in the future with a couple of kids and much more money on the line, I don’t know how I’d cope.

You’re going to be OK, man. If I could tell you one thing, it’s talk to your lawyer and only your lawyer. Get the best one you can find, and they’ll see you through this.

traveller1976 · 2022-07-28T21:47:31+00:00

Yep that's the standard formula. Really sorry for you dude but if anyone warned you before marrying that bitch you had better learn from your life destroying mistake. You may recover eventually, don't repeat the mistakes. I hope other men learn from you.

sublimeonskunk · 2022-07-29T02:25:22+00:00

Hey Bud, the exact same thing happened to me. Makes you feel like a sucker huh? You can wallow in self pity for a bit. But then it will be time to slap on your big boy pants and start grinding.

-WilliamMButtlicker_ · 2022-07-29T15:07:24+00:00

So, just guessing here but let's say you're in your 30s, and you have maybe 60? Years left on this planet. What ever you are having to give her, how ever much of the shit you've earned and worked for, you're buying back those 60 years. Saving yourself from a fucking miserable life. It sucks, but it could be the best purchase you ever make!

Plebius-Plutarch · 2022-07-28T20:41:52+00:00

To add injury to insult, do you have to pay Alimony?

awesomelybearded · 2022-07-28T21:52:16+00:00

Especially if you don’t have kids.

winpowguy · 2022-07-28T23:12:17+00:00

Sorry Brother…. It’s not your fault - it’s just your burden to bear.

Hope it gets better

theowawayforme555 · 2022-07-28T23:33:44+00:00

You sound like me!! Am I you! Did we marry the same woman?! I am currently going through the same hell. Hired a good lawyer to minimize damages as much as possible but it’s not looking great. The good news is that once it is all over you will recover in a few years and then be on your road to a happier, healthier and wealthier you. On the other hand she’s a depreciated asset. She’ll have a few bucks and she’ll blow through it in a couple of years or less and then she’s totally worthless with zero prospects, no education or job.

kapriece · 2022-07-29T04:41:06+00:00

It sucks but once you shed the dead weight your life will significantly improve.

derelictherds · 2022-07-30T17:09:27+00:00

At least you didn't get stuck with her debt too(I ended up with 100% of marital debt). Sounds like a short marriage and I'm assuming you're relatively young. Write it off as an expensive life lesson and start rebuilding the perfect life for yourself... then be extremely selective about who you let into your life going forward.

Long-Review-1861 · 2022-07-31T18:29:31+00:00

Why do men get married in America???

WorkingItOutSomeday · 2022-07-28T22:59:51+00:00

Um.....welcome to the club brother.

TheRealDrWan · 2022-07-28T23:45:54+00:00

Get your lawyer to fight for what you can get.

But then get out.

You’ll be better off.

monknow · 2022-07-29T14:29:57+00:00

I am not sure what State you’re in and that is going to determine a lot of this. But your lawyer could be wrong. How much did you bring into the marriage that maybe you would keep and get credit for? Debts created, that amount should come off from the total amount that is divided. And that total amount divided should only be what was created during the marriage. Again, it depends on the state. And some States are absolutely fucked up when it comes to these laws.

2022-07-30T14:30:39+00:00

In the future consider offshore bank accounts

Certain-Line-6351 · 2022-08-23T05:06:27+00:00

Don’t sweat it with her work ethic she won’t make it two years before she ship broke living on the street. Work on yourself focus on your kids if you got an just forget you ever knew that woman

Title	She's taking half of everything after spending our marriage doing nothing.
Author	Clockapp
Upvotes	71
Comments	101
Date	July 28, 2022 7:59 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/wajncz/shes_taking_half_of_everything_after_spending_our/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/shes-taking-half-of-everything-after-spending-our.1125340 https://theredarchive.com/post/1125340

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